Imaginary Grace (29 page)

I walked briskly towards her and wrapped my arms around her like she’d been gone for weeks instead of a just few days. Then I took her bag from her and took her hand in mine. As we walked to the car, she told me all about her weekend, what she did and the gifts her sister and brother got for their birthday.

“Are we still playing cards at your place tonight?” she asked as she snuggled up next to me.

“Of course,” I confirmed as I tossed her bag in the back seat, “I’d like to beat you in as many locations as possible.”

“Well, maybe I’ve been practicing…” she challenged, that saucy tone in her voice.

“I doubt it’ll help,” I said, smiling as I pulled out of the parking lot. She was very chatty all the way home. She seemed so excited to be back. When we got home Scott was there, and thankfully, he was alone.

“Hey Grace. How was your weekend home?”

“Oh, great.” She glanced at me. “Good to be back, though.”

“And how’s Ryder doing?” he said with a smile.

“She’s fine. She and her
boyfriend
are fine,” she said lightly, but stressed the word ‘boyfriend’ as Scott stretched out on the couch.

“Are you hungry, Grace?” I asked. “‘Cause I’m starving.”

She shook her head. “No, I ate before I left.”

“Okay, have a seat, then, and Scott’ll entertain you while I make myself something.”

Scott sat up on the couch, making room for her, then started asking her questions about her weekend, cleverly inserting questions about Ryder any chance he got.

“Scott, give it up. It’s never gonna happen!” I yelled from the kitchen.

He just laughed. “Hey, you never know,” he said as Grace looked at him warily. I continued moving about the small kitchen as I made myself a couple of sandwiches. While I did, I looked over at Grace and thought about everything that had happened this weekend. I had the money I needed for the tour so I
could
cut Grace loose any time I wanted.

It’d be easy to slip back into my old lifestyle of drinking, random hook-ups and generally being an asshole, wouldn’t it? But the bottom line was that I didn’t
want
to break up with her. If we stayed together I’d have to tell her about the band - how I was a lot more than just the sound guy, and then she’d want to see one of the shows, where there was a very good chance she’d find out how much slutting around I’d done, even after she and I were allegedly dating. I remembered Amber’s threat and took it very seriously. I also knew she wasn’t the only girl who would love to tell Grace what I piece of shit I was. Inviting her on the tour wouldn’t even be an issue, because she’d have dumped my ass long before.

The safest option – status quo. I’d put if off for now. I could always decide later…next week or maybe the week after. I brought my sandwich and a beer over to the couch and sat down with Scott and Grace. I was glad Scott was there. I didn’t want to get into another ‘situation’ with Grace, not now anyway. We watched TV for a while and then the three of us played cards, with Scott crushing the both of us. I ended up taking Grace home at around ten o’clock without us ever getting anywhere near the bedroom.

Chapter 41

Grace

I
t had been about a week since Close Encounter #2, and I still hadn’t mentioned it to Beth. She’d thought it was weird enough the first time, so no need to let her know that it had happened again.

“Grace, are you almost ready?” Beth yelled from the bathroom.

“Yeah,” I said as I grabbed my coat. From the corner of my eye I spied Beth’s tanned leather boots sticking out from under the bed. I really liked them and wondered if she’d let me borrow them again tonight.

We were going over to Beth’s friend Kim’s place. She had only invited a few people, a nice change from the huge frat parties we’d been going to. Beth had asked Adam to come along with us, and a few other girls to meet us there.

“Beth, do you think I could borrow your boots again tonight? I love the way they go with these jeans.” I crossed my fingers as I waited for her reply.

“Of course,” she said. “I never wear them anyway.”

“Great, thanks,” I said as I grabbed them from underneath the bed and pulled them on. Yes, they went perfectly.

I wanted to wear my jean jacket but we were walking to Kim’s and it was way too cold out. According to Beth, Kim’s apartment was always stifling, so I had the nearly impossible task of striking a balance between the practical and the fashionable. In the end I settled for a cool little black zip-up hoodie that Ryder had lent me along with my white down vest.

Beth finally emerged from the bathroom just as Adam texted her that he was waiting out front. We met him downstairs, and the three of us walked the fifteen minutes to Kim’s place. Along the way, Adam filled us in on all the frat gossip – who was hooking up with who and that sort of thing; Beth and I hung on every word and offered commentary on each story he told.

When we got to Kim’s place I was surprised to see that it was almost the exact same set-up as Tanner’s, but on a much bigger scale. It had three bedrooms, whereas Tanner’s place had only two. There were also a lot more people there than I’d expected; a “few friends” had turned into party central.

Beth spotted Kim, a pretty but harried-looking blond, as soon as we walked in and waved her over. Beth introduced Adam and me, then said, “If this is your idea of a low-key night I’d like to go to one of your real parties.”

“It’s gotten a bit out of hand,” Kim said, laughing, “Clearly my friends didn’t get the message when I said they could bring a friend or two…well, except for you.” She smiled at me and Adam. “Now it’s like any other Saturday night frat party.”

Kim didn’t seem to mind, though. In fact she seemed to really be enjoying herself.

“You guys can throw your coats in the back bedroom,” she said, pointing towards the far end of the room.

“Okay,” we said as we shrugged our coats off and began weaving through the crowd. When we got into the bedroom, Adam went to toss his jacket on top of the pile of coats.

“Adam, what are you doing?” Beth asked. “If you just toss your jacket like that you’ll never find it later.”

“Yeah, Adam,” I said. “Beth and I have a system, and we always find our jackets at the end of the night.”

“A jacket system?” Adam had that look on his face that all guys get when they think girls are crazy. “Why am I not surprised?”

“Just give me your jacket,” Beth said as she wiggled her finger at him.

“Here you go, professor.” Adam smirked and tossed her his jacket.

“Now watch and learn.” She then took both of our jackets and wrapped them neatly inside Adam’s so it looked like one. Then she neatly placed the bundle in between the bed and the nightstand. “It’s called a jacket wrap.”

“You even have a name for it!” he exclaimed.

“No, I just totally made that up,” she said, laughing. “Now, if any one of us leaves before the others, make sure the jackets get put back in the same spot.”

“Are you done?” he asked, shaking his head, but I could tell he liked the “system”.

“Yeah, now get us a beer,” she said as we headed back out to the party. The living room was packed, with people overflowing onto the front porch. Adam grabbed the beers and we carved out a small spot in the kitchen to wait for the other girls. While we were standing there, Adam spied a half-empty bottle of tequila on the far end of the counter. He quickly grabbed it and returned to our huddle.

“Shots?” he asked.

“Sure,” I said; I’d managed to get through high school and my first semester of college without drinking tequila, but now I was game to try. Adam didn’t see any cups so he grabbed three teacups from the cupboard, lined them up, and poured some tequila into each before returning the bottle to end of the counter.

“What should we drink to, ladies?” Adam asked as he handed each of us a cup, but before he could pick up his own, Beth had downed the shot. I just stood there for a minute, first staring at the liquid, then smelling it. I’d seen a lot of people with their heads in the toilet after drinking this stuff.

“Come on, Grace, down it,” she said as Adam threw back his head and emptied his cup. I squeezed my eyes shut, threw it back, and immediately felt it burn the back of my throat. I shook my head and quickly drank down at least half of my beer. Yikes! What a way to start the night.

I surveyed the room, which was slowly becoming fuzzy, and noticed a big black leather sectional sofa in the middle. A black, weathered wooden coffee table sat in front of it, and a group of people were sitting on it and the couch, playing some sort of dice game that I couldn’t quite figure out. Instead of the usual dots there were what looked to be little pictures, and apparently you had to drink if a certain picture was rolled.
Too confusing!

I noticed Beth cozying up to Adam, so I figured that from here on out I was on my own. I finished my beer and told the happy couple I was going for a refill, then meandered through the crowd and out onto the porch where the keg was. It was so cold I was shivering as I filled my cup; still, I wandered to the other end of the porch, looking for the other girls we were supposed to meet, but they were nowhere to be found.

When I got back inside I headed straight for the kitchen. Beth was still there, but they had been joined by Gary and a girl I didn’t know.

“Hey, Gary,” I said.

“Oh, hi, Grace,” he said, sounding surprised, “I didn’t know you’d be here tonight.”

He seemed uneasy and hesitated a moment before he introduced me to his date. “Grace, this is Samantha. Sam, meet Grace.”

I said hello to her and she nodded at me. She seemed nice enough. She was on the short side with shoulder-length blonde hair that she had pulled back from her face.

Thankfully, Kate and Jill, the two girls we were meeting, finally arrived, so at least I was no longer the third (or should I say fifth?) wheel. Beth, Adam, Gary and Sam hung out in the kitchen most of the night while Kate, Jill and I moved around. Kate was one of those girls who seemed to know
everybody.
Wherever we went someone was tugging on her arm or waving to her across the room, but every so often we’d end up back in the kitchen. At one of our kitchen stops, I noticed Gary’s date wasn’t there and he and Adam were doing shots of tequila.

“Hey girls, join us,” Gary said.

Kate and Jill eagerly accepted, but I shook my head. I had the perfect buzz going and I didn’t want to overdo it, but he handed me one anyway. “Come on, Grace, just one shot,” he coaxed.

“No thanks,” I said, shaking my head again. Adam and the girls had already drained their cups.

Gary slowly leaned over and whispered in my ear, “What’s the matter? Tanner doesn’t want you drinking when he’s not around?”

What the hell was that supposed to mean? Tanner’s never tried to stop me from doing anything.
“No,” I said, annoyed as I grabbed the tequila from him and tossed it back, feeling the now familiar burn at the back of my throat. Gary smiled, satisfied that he’d won, then he turned his smile on Samantha, who’d just returned.

“So, Grace, where’s Tanner tonight? Is the
band
playing again?” I didn’t know what his tone was implying, but I didn’t like it.

“Yes,” I said curtly, now annoyed at myself for falling for his trick. I missed Tanner and wished he were here tonight. I was also beginning to wonder if Tanner had been right about Gary all along. When Kate and Jill were ready to mingle again, I was relieved to get away from him. As soon as we walked into the living room, Kate was stopped by two guys involved in the dice game.

I watched them play, feeling all out of sorts. Not only was I miffed by how Gary had acted, I was also really feeling that second shot. So when Jill handed me another beer, I started drinking it without even thinking. I couldn’t shake the feeling that Gary was watching me, but I didn’t dare look his way.

Kate and Jill must have played the game before because they jumped right in; I on the other hand, wasn’t able to follow it at all. Maybe it was because I was buzzed, but it seemed pretty damn confusing. All I knew was that every so often the group would yell out, “Blackwell!”, then everyone would drink. It may have been fun to play but it was really boring to watch.

After a few minutes I asked Jill, who had bowed out of the game early, if she wanted to go say hi to some people I knew from one of my classes. They were on the other side of the room, and it was the perfect way to get out of Gary’s line of sight. She agreed, and after a few minutes I was able to relax a bit. It turned out that Jill knew a lot of the same people I did, and we wound up hanging out with them for a good part of the night.

Still, I kept thinking about Tanner. I was dying to see him, especially since Gary’s snide comment, and now the alcohol was beginning to put ideas into my head – very
bad
ideas. I was definitely beyond buzzed. I knew I should stop drinking, but somehow my cup kept getting filled, and I kept draining it again.

I wondered if I should just show up at Tanner’s –
would that be crazy?
I could call him or text him, tell him I’d meet him at his place after the show or…maybe I’d just surprise him. Yeah, that’s what I’d do, surprise him. I glanced at my cell phone-- just after midnight. I waited until twelve-thirty and then started planning my exit strategy.

Kate and Jill were leaving together, so that was no problem, but I had to make sure Beth was leaving with Adam so she wouldn’t have to walk all the way home by herself. After telling Kate and Jill I was leaving, I reluctantly made my way to the kitchen, where Beth, Adam, and Gary (sans date) were still hanging out.

I pulled Beth aside and whispered to her that I was going to Tanner’s.

“Why don’t you wait a bit and Adam and I can walk you over?” she said, but I told her there was no need since it was only a few blocks over. She looked at me for a minute as if to gauge my condition, then she said, “Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow.” As I went to turn away she grabbed my arm and whispered loudly in my ear, “…and I want details!”

I laughed as I pulled my arm away. “If there are any!” I left the kitchen and slowly moved through the crowd towards the bedroom that housed the jackets. Once there, I removed the “jacket wrap” from beside the nightstand and unrolled it, removing my jacket and sweatshirt, then rolled it back up and placed it back where it was.

As I was putting my sweatshirt on, I heard the door close and instantly spun around in the now-darkened room. Someone was there, but I couldn’t make out who it was. Then I heard Gary’s voice. “Grace,” he said quietly, “I wanted to talk to you before you left.”

“What is it, Gary?” I said, allowing the annoyance to creep into my voice. I put my down vest on and started to zip it up. He was killing my buzz.

He flipped on the small lamp that was sitting on the dresser and said, “Listen, I’m sorry about before, about the shot and the comment I made, but Grace –
Tanner?
Really?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I said, offended.

“Grace, Tanner’s
not
who you think he is. He’s got you thinking he’s this whole other person, and you’re falling for it.” As he spoke he reached over and grabbed my arm.

I turned my head, staring at the hand that was touching my arm. “First of all, get your hand off me…and second of all, you’re right. Tanner’s not at all who I thought he was. As it turns out he’s one of the sweetest, nicest, most caring guys that I’ve ever known and--”

Gary started laughing out loud, startling me. “You’ve got to be kidding me! He’s got you so snowed, girl! Listen, I don’t know what his game is with you, but all joking aside, I don’t want to see you get hurt. Grace, you know how I feel about you, and I
hate
seeing you with him.”

“Listen Gary,” I began, “I appreciate your concern, but really, I’m fine – Tanner and I are fine – and I don’t need you looking out for my wellbeing. I know you guys have some sort of beef between you, but you’ve got Tanner all wrong. Now, really, I gotta go.”

He reluctantly stepped aside, but as I walked out the door I heard him say, “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

My argument with Gary had made me all the more determined to see Tanner tonight. When I left Kim’s house, the party was still going strong, even spilling out into the street.

Two blocks and five minutes later I was approaching Tanner’s house. The cold air had sobered me up a bit, and I suddenly wondered whether I was doing the right thing. He probably wasn’t home yet, so how was I going to get inside? I thought about turning around, going back to Kim’s and waiting for Beth to leave, but I somehow I found myself on the path to his front steps. I climbed the three steps, slowly reached for the door knob, and turned it. It was locked, of course.

I sat down on the front stoop with my elbows resting on my knees and my chin on my knuckles. I
could
just sit here and wait for him, that is if I could bear the cold that long. After a few minutes I stood and paced the length of the front porch, my hands in my jacket pockets, watching my breath in the night air. Suddenly it dawned on me – the bedroom window. When we climbed out the other night to go for the pizza, Tanner had mentioned that the lock was broken.