I'm with You (14 page)

I take a deep breath as I put a new memory card into my camera. Today I am working on the brochure project for my photography class.  Brianna volunteered her and Hurley as my models. I haven’t tried to use my camera since my appointment last week with Doc. My nerves are shot, I feel on edge.

Brianna is already working at the library today, so I am going to take pictures of her and Hurley studying on her lunch break.  They position themselves across from one another and pretend to be deeply engrossed in their studies. I hold the camera up to my face and look through the lens, and I don’t see Harlan. This is a good thing, but I feel guilty for being able to push thoughts of him to the side so easily these days.

I snap a few shots of just the two of them. And I get a few shots of the head librarian offering them help as well.  Some of these I will have to give Brianna copies of, her and Hurley really do make a cute couple. I am walking around the library on my own taking photographs of the beautiful ceilings and stained glass windows.

I am snapping the pictures so quickly that I almost missed him. I scroll back through the pictures I have just taken on my memory card and I have caught a figure in the far corner of the second floor of the library.  Someone is definitely watching me and I have inkling that it isn’t Harlan, but it is a man.

**

I am excited to have a week off from classes for the holiday and I am looking forward to my Gram’s cooking. Brianna has dinner with her parents so she is coming to my Gram’s house afterwards. That just leaves Cutter, Hurley, Gram and me to eat together. Or so I thought, until Dr. Peters shows his face.

“Alex can you help me and Gram with something in the kitchen?” I give him an or else look that lets him know I mean NOW! As soon as he enters the kitchen I make it clear to him that today he is here as a guest, he is not my Doctor. I do not want my friends to know who he is.  He agrees to keep his conversation social. I also warn Gram while I am at it. Today I just want to be a normal teenage girl enjoying the holiday with her friends and family.

Dr. Peters or shall I say Alex joins Hurley and Cutter in the TV room to watch football. Gram has me helping her finish up with dinner. She has put me in charge of making the cherry cheese pie.  I let her know that we should be making two; it is always the first dessert to disappear.

I clear a spot on the prep table. Gram has a kitchen that would make ‘Paula Dean’ wet herself.  It has a down home feel but with state of the art appliances. I think my favorite part of the whole room is the sink. It is a deep farmhouse sink. I bet I could almost fit my butt in it to wash.

I love the sink because it looks out to the flower garden. The view from it is so beautiful on spring mornings. Her cabinets are painted cotton candy blue. And she has white curtains, and a beautiful marble countertop. It is the perfect kitchen for cooking from scratch.

  I get a couple of fresh lemons from the refrigerator; Gram won’t stand for using that artificial stuff.  I add one half cup of fresh squeezed lemon juice to my bowl. Next is the softened cream cheese and a drop of vanilla extract. Finally I add the sweetened milk and beat it with the mixer until it is smooth and creamy. 

I pour the filling over the crust and place it inside the refrigerator to set.  I don’t add the cherries until it is ready to be served, but I keep them chilled as well.  My favorite part is licking the filling from the spindles.

Gram appears to have everything else under control; I escape to my old room for a moment to change my shirt. Taking off my t-shirt I am standing at my closet in my black pencil skirt and black lace bra deciding what sweater I want to wear. When suddenly I am grabbed from behind, I know it is Cutter. He didn’t shave this morning and I can feel his light stubble graze against my shoulder.

“So this is where you are hiding, your Gram sent me to find you. She says dinner is almost ready. She recruited Hurley to help her set the table. Brianna better watch out — I saw those two making eyes at each other.” He turns me around to face him and places kisses down my neck.

“Just ewww, my Gram and Hurley is not an attractive thought. It is a major turn off.” I roll my eyes with disgust and walk back towards my closet. As I am taking my charcoal grey wrap style sweater from the hanger, Cutter grabs me again, this time pinning me down on the bed.

Torturous kisses rain across my exposed chest.  I can’t help but giggle as his stubble rubs across my delicate flesh. It is as if each tiny hair is a feather strategically placed to tickle the piss out of me.  “Stop, my Gram is going to hear us!”

This just sends him into overdrive. “Doesn’t the thought of getting caught excite you Bella?” he asks rubbing his chin over my now exposed pebbled nipples.

“Actually the though of my Gram walking in here right now during this moment terrifies me. She keeps a rifle loaded in the hall closet.”

“Buzz kill,” he murmurs giving me one last kiss. He leaves me writhing on my old bed. 

I am half tempted to text him to come back in here and finish what he started. I am supposed to spend the night with Gram tonight. I just may have to revert to my high schoolish ways and sneak Cutter back in through my window tonight.

I dress quickly and smooth out my appearance and wait a few extra minutes. I can’t go back in there with my cheeks flushed; Gram will know we were messing around.  I make my way back into the dinning room, to find Brianna has arrived and everyone is waiting for me to take my seat.

Gram gives me a knowing smirk. “Bella next time you and Cutter mess around in my house you might want to wipe off your smudged lipstick from your face. Now Cutter I would be ever delighted if you would lead us in saying Grace.”

My face must be ten shades of crimson. Brianna and Hurley let out snickers.  I look at Cutter and he doesn’t seem the least bit embarrassed. In fact he winks at me, in front of everyone no less. Alex clears his throat clearly not amused by all of our antics.

“Let us bow our heads in prayer. Heavenly Father we just want to take a few moments to tell you how thankful we are to be here today in one another’s company and in good health. Thank you Father for blessing us with this plentiful meal prepared by Mrs. Rose. Amen.”

We all raise our heads and start passing around the serving dishes.  Dr. Peters keeps the conversation light, but I can tell he is studying each one of my friends and it pisses me off.  He makes sure to ask each of them something of their plans after college and something about their families. I know he knows who Brianna is, but he plays dumb.  I am not sure if it is for my sake or so that the guys don’t feel uncomfortable by his under cover interrogation. I especially don’t like all of the extra attention he is paying to Cutter. He is acting like a father would, and he is not my father. I don’t have one of those. Some days I think it would be nice to have had one — a protector, someone to tell you boys were bad news, to take me to those father/daughter dances.

But all I can really think about is getting rid of everyone so I can steal Cutter away to myself and have my way with him. Get your mind out of the gutter Bella Rose, I chastise myself. I am like dog in heat today.  I shake my dirty thoughts from my mind. If people could read my mind they would be one of two things, extremely turned on or deeply disturbed.

It makes me happy to see my Gram looking so pleased. It has been quite a few years since her house was this full on a holiday.  I now wonder if she used to keep people away to keep me from learning the secrets she was hiding.  Because everyone else would know that there was no Robert Rose. The lie still stings but I am trying to let it go. Sometimes you forgive, not for the sake of the person who has wronged you, but for your own sanity.  And sometimes you have to forgive people even if they aren’t sorry.

Brianna helps me clear the table and load the dishes into the dishwasher. “Hurley and I are going to head out in a few,” she raises her eyebrows suggestively at me. “I am hoping he is going to finally ask me out officially.  He is taking me to meet his parents,” she squeals in my ear.  She taps her feet and twirls me, forcing me to join in on her happy dance.

I wonder how Cutter is feeling, not being with his family today. If it is bothering him he is doing a great job masking his hurt. Alex says his goodbyes as well. He shakes Cutter’s hand and tells him he hopes he will see him around. I don’t miss the double meaning behind his words. I offer to carry out the leftovers my Gram has loaded him down with out to his vehicle.  I really just want to know what his problem with Cutter is.

We get down the street to where he is parked and far enough from the house that I know no one can hear.  “What was that back there? Why are you so interested in Cutter?”

“Bella I am unsure what you mean. I am just taking an interest in the people you spend a lot of time with.  Do you know that most victims are harmed by someone that they know? I am just taking necessary precautions, incase someone is watching you 0r doing these things to you.”

“Argh!”   Is all I can muster to say. I place the dishes securely in his backseat and walk away without another word. Does he really suspect my friends, or even worse Cutter?  So now not only does he act fatherly he is playing detective too, incredible. I will never understand the male sex.

I walk back into the house to find Gram and Cutter sitting on the couch together looking at my naked baby pictures.  “Gram really, is the pictures necessary?”

“Oh hush child, there is nothing wrong with a naked baby. But I am going to go take a nap. I am stuffed and ready to pass out. You and Cutter here,” she pats his knee. “You two enjoy yourselves, but not too much.” She points her finger at me like I am the one Cutter should be watching out for.  He’s the instigator, I smirk to myself.

He was the one trying to get me to do dirty things with him earlier. Not the other way around, he has Gram fooled with his good boy act. But I know better. I know he is a wicked pervert who wants to keep me naked, but I’m not complaining. Cutter Dawson could easily turn me into his sex slave.

“I prefer the naked woman myself,” he whispers seductively in my ear. He trails the shell of my ear with that magic tongue, making me hot in all the right places. Damn him and his magical seducing tongue.

I fix the two of us a piece of my cherry cheese pie. I grab a blanket from the hall closet as I lead Cutter onto the front porch to eat on the swing with me. It is gorgeous outside but the air is so cold. We snuggle up under the blanket together and enjoy our dessert. Cutter takes his spoon and smears cheese pie across my nose.

“Oh you are going to get it,” I tease him.

He grabs my wrist to stop me from retaliating, sending both of our plates to the floor of the porch. Thank goodness I opted for paper and not Gram’s good china.

“What am I going to get exactly,” he laughs capping my nose with his mouth and licking the pie from my face.

I pull back from him, “oh that is for me to know and you to find out.”  I snuggle back up to him and under the blanket. I lay my head against his right shoulder. He turns to the side a bit so that I am now lying across him.  Cutter bends his head down meeting my eager lips with the most delicious of kisses. He tastes of cherries and desire.

I lay here so long enjoying his lips pressed to mine that I forget we are on Gram’s porch, where anyone could pass by at any minute and see us fully engaged in an intense make out session. It also fails to register where we are as he slides his smooth hand into the waist of my skirt.  “Touch me Cutter,” I whisper into his mouth.

He doesn’t hesitate running his hand over my wet pussy.  I am still riled up from the way he was burning my skin with his stubble earlier today.  He slides one finger in then another, he curls his fingers back in a come here motion. And damn if I am not ready to — come.  I buck my hips pushing his fingers deeper inside of me.

“I could lay you down now and lick you all over, just think of my finger as my tongue. Do you know how hard it is for me not to just throw you down right here on the porch and fuck you senseless? You are driving me crazy Bella.”

I grind into his hand harder.  “Oh — Cutter what is stopping you, I want you in me right here right now.” I unbutton his pants freeing his cock.

“You are quite the exhibitionist today aren’t you? Fuck you are wild!” He growls in my ear as I sit on his lap. He pushes my skirt up onto my hips and parts my panties to the side, giving him perfect access to my swollen folds.  He gently rocks our bodies with the swing.

The creaking sounds it was making should have been a sign that the swing was too old to handle our movements.  Right when Cutter is coming inside of me the swing decides to come too, off the hinges that is.  We land on the floor of the porch with a thud. Cutter’s dick bends slightly inside me and not in a good way.  I hope it isn’t broke, but is possibly permanently bent now. I can see the pain on his face.

We scramble to separate and right ourselves as we hear my Gram coming down the stairs inside the house.  No doubt that our escapade woke her from her nap.  I have the blanket folded and slipped through the window of the sitting room and behind the couch by the time Gram comes out the front door.

“What on earth are you two up to out here? Bella wipe that grin from your face. You look the cat who ate the goldfish.” She then looks past me and a grinning Cutter to see her broken porch swing.  “You know what I don’t even want to know. Damn horny teenagers,” she mumbles to herself.  “Bella get in the house it is too cold out here, you are going to get sick. And Cutter I expect to see you here tomorrow bright and early to fix my swing. There are tools and some lumber in the shed out back.”

Once Gram is back inside, Cutter and I both burst out laughing. He gives me a small kiss and I tell him I will text him once the coast is clear.  I go inside to find Gram waiting for me.

“I hope the two of you are being safe Bella. And what if my neighbors seen whatever it was the two of you were doing?” Her face is full of disappointment. I almost feel bad, almost. 

“Gram I don’t know what you are talking about, but just to ease your weary mind, I am on the pill. You have nothing to worry about.”

  I go into my bathroom and sneak a cigarette. I turn the fan on and crack my window. Gram would tan my hide if she caught me smoking in her house. Shew — I am in need of a bath after all of today’s excitement.  I love the bathtub I have at my Gram’s. It is an old claw foot tub.  It is white with silver feet. It is one of the things I miss the most about living here.

My bubble bath is running and I am going through my old dresser looking for something to sleep in.  There is a light tap on my window. Cutter is standing outside of my window and he looks beautiful — yes I called him beautiful, because he is... It is twilight and the glow of the moon against his face is breath taking.  I open the window slightly and whisper to him. “What are you doing here? I told you I would text you later, not that I am complaining you are here.”

“I couldn’t stay away.” He pushes my window open further and climbs inside of my old bedroom.

“Well I am getting in the tub, you can join me or not. I hope your dick is okay,” I don’t wait for him to answer. I strip as I am walking to the bathroom that is attached to my room. I feel no need to hide my scars from him. He knows all of my ugly truths — inside and out. 

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” he lets out a whistle of appreciation at my naked form as he begins to undress himself as well.

I can fully see him and all of his scars too. The lighting in my room leaves nothing to the imagination. There are light scars where he has cut himself matching the ones I put on my own arms weeks before.

I shut off the water and Cutter gets in first. I get in on the opposite side. I lay my head against the back of the tub and close my eyes, enjoying the silence between us. Cutter takes the loofa from the small shelf that hangs over the side of the tub and squirts some body wash into its center. 

He picks up one of my legs and washes it, repeating with the other.  I turn so that my back is now against him, he gently rubs the soap over each of my breasts.  I sag back into his chest and lie in his arms until the water turns cold.

I grab us both a towel. As Cutter is getting out of the tub I hear Gram knocking on my door. Thank goodness I had the sense to lock it earlier. “Just a moment,” I call out to her.

I whisper to Cutter for him to stay in the bathroom. If Gram catches him naked in my room she may use that rifle on both of us.  Hurriedly I kick his clothes under my bed.  I open the door to my bedroom and block Gram from entering.

“Here this thing keeps buzzing, it is driving me nuts.”  Gram takes my cell phone from the pocket of her apron and places it in my hand. “Are you alright you seem out of breath. Your face is flushed.”

“Never better, I just ran my water too hot for my bath. I scalded my backside getting into the tub.”

“You are a strange one Bella Rose. Beautiful, but strange. Be sure to put some lotion on your rear.”

“Yes ma’am, good night.” I shut my door and lock it to be greeted by Cutter and his firmness pressing against my backside.

He takes some lotion from my dresser and starts rubbing it on my back. He orders me to lie on the bed so he can give me a massage.  I check my phone to see what was causing it to go off so much that it annoyed Gram.

I have a few missed calls and a text from Brianna. Hurley finally made it official and asked her to be his girl.  I send her a text back telling her I am so excited for her, but I am tired. I can’t wait to hear all about her excitement tomorrow. I fall asleep in my towel as Cutter works his way down to my calves.

I awake the next morning to the smell of bacon and the sound of a hammer. I look around my room feeling slightly disoriented. There is a note stuck to the mirror of the bathroom.

“Good morning gorgeous. I will see you when you wake up. I have a swing to hang.”

Cutter

I throw on an old sweatshirt and a pair of holey jeans that I forgot I still had here and make my way to Gram in the kitchen.

“That boy is an early riser. There aren’t few who can get the jump on me.”

I just smile and nod; taking the cup of coffee she is holding out to me.  She has cooked a feast this morning.  I take in the spread she has laid out on the counter. The woman has made pancakes, bacon, sausage, eggs, biscuits and gravy.

“You expecting an army for breakfast Gram?” I pull my wavy hair into a messy knot on top of my head.

“No, no. I just figured you and Mr. Fix it might be hungry after doing whatever it was the two of you were up to last night.  Don’t think my old ears couldn’t hear you. And you forgot to hide his shoes when I brought you your phone.” She laughs and takes a bite from a strip of bacon.

I feel slightly humiliated and I can’t believe my Gram is being so cool about it all. “I was young once too ya know. It is nice to have some love bouncing around the walls of this quiet old house.  Now go tell that young stallion breakfast is ready. I am going to hit the black Friday sales at the mall in Lawrence.”

My cheeks are flaming, as Gram takes her purse from the hook by the back door and grabs her keys. “Lock the house up if you leave before I get back.”

I slice open a biscuit and spread mustard on it before I place a slice of sausage between the two halves.  Watching Cutter trying to hang the swing by himself is comical. I can hear him cursing the swing under his breath.  But there is nothing funny about the way his muscles flex and bulge through his sweat dampened t-shirt. It is clinging to his skin in all of the right places. “Hey Mr. Fix it, breakfast is ready.”

He picks up his tools and puts them to the side of the porch. “I am hungry, but first you are going to help me hang this swing that you destroyed.” 

“That I destroyed, I seem to recall that there were two of us enjoying ourselves out here yesterday. Oh I’m sorry that must have been that handsome handy man my Gram hired.”

“Cute, real cute Bella.”

I have to stand on a step ladder to attach the chains to the hooks that are screwed into the beams running along the roof of the porch. It only takes us a few minutes. 

Cutter replaced the slats that couldn’t be saved, it looks good as new.  We put the tools and extra lumber back in Gram’s shed before heading into the house so Cutter can have some breakfast.

I pack some leftovers to take home with me from yesterday’s dinner and this morning’s breakfast.  If our meals were left up to Cutter we would live off of the diner food and canned spaghetti.