Authors: Mercy Amare
m Over It
Kihanna in College.
© 2015 by Mercy Amare
Cover designed by Mercy Amare
Edited by Janet from Dragonfly Editing
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This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real locales are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author's imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
This is the second book in the Kihanna in College Series.
I highly recommend you pick up the first book,
The College Life
, before reading
I’m Over It
Monday, November 1
I’m over it.
I wake up with an arm stretched over my lower back. I scoot close to the heat of the body behind me before I realize I’m not sleeping alone. I jerk awake and sit up, looking over to see Toby sleeping beside me. There is another bed in the room. Ty and Gabe are both asleep on that bed.
At least it’s just Toby beside me.
Memories from the night before rush over me, making it hard to breathe.
First, Brian Asher is alive, as impossible as that seems. Second, there were
in my dorm room. Third, it’s starting again. Just when I thought I was safe, I realize I’m not. I never was. It was all just a facade. Was Brian in Bora Bora with us? No, I can’t think about that. I can’t let him taint what happened over the summer. Tahiti was perfect.
But nothing can change the facts. I am in trouble.
Toby lifts his head and looks at me.
“Go back to sleep,” he says.
“I can’t,” I say.
I wish I could. As it is, I am only running on three hours of sleep, but I have to get ready for my class at nine-thirty. I’m much too stressed out to even think about getting back to sleep.
Every time I close my eyes, I see him.
He’s always different.
Sometimes, I see the old him. The him that I fell in love with. The facade. But other times, I see the guy who stalked me for nine months, making my life miserable. The same guy who killed Kasbian and Keith. The same guy who kidnapped Ariana. The same guy who locked me in the bathroom at
and set the place on fire. He tried to kill me.
“I can’t believe he’s back,” I whisper to Toby, not wanting to wake up Ty and Gabe.
I actually can’t believe Gabe is here. I really thought he hated me. I wouldn’t blame him for hating me. After all, I did break his heart. He was in love with me and I stomped on his heart like he meant nothing to me. Which isn’t true. Gabe means a lot to me, but I’m no longer in love with him. The more time we spend apart, the more I realize that I made the right decision by ending things.
“What are we going to do?” Toby asks.
My eyes widen. “We?”
“Yeah. The four of us. We are all in this,” he says.
“No, you’re not. Toby, your job is to go back home to Dad and Veronica. You’re going to pretend that you know
about what is going on,” I say. “And you’re going to let me deal with things.”
“Kihanna, you have to tell Mark,” Toby says, sitting up.
“No, I don’t. And you can’t either,” I say.
I cut him off. “I’m serious. If Dad finds out, he will overreact. He will pull me out of school here, and I can’t have that. I can’t just drop out of college.”
“Maybe you should,” he says.
“I’m eighteen now. This is my decision. You need to respect my decision,” I tell him.
Toby shakes his head. “I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”
“What are you two fighting about?” I hear Ty ask.
I look over and see both Ty and Gabe are waking up.
Yeah, this isn’t at all weird. My stepbrother, two ex-boyfriends, and I sharing a hotel room.
I guess it’s no weirder than it was last year. We were all together then, and we will continue to stick together now.
Except Toby. This time, I can keep him safe and that is exactly what I will do.
“I was just telling Toby how he needs to go back to Mountain View. I’m pretty sure Dad and Veronica are going to be pissed if he’s late for school,” I say.
“I think they will understand,” Gabe says. “You’re far more important than school.”
“Dad and Veronica aren’t going to know what’s going on,” I say. “Nobody is.”
“Kihanna, you can’t keep this from them,” Ty says.
“Yes, I can. It’s my decision. You three need to respect that,” I say, then get out of bed. “We should probably all head back to campus. I have class at nine-thirty, and I need to buy some clothes. I can’t wear this all day.” I look down at my Halloween costume from last night. “I’m going to look stupid enough going into the store wearing this.”
“I’ll get you something,” Ty says, getting out of bed. “You just stay here. And Toby, Kihanna is right. You need to get to school.”
on my side.
“Fine,” Toby says, getting out of bed. “I guess I will just see you later. But keep me up to date. If you don’t, I will tell Mark.”
“I promise.” Sort of. I will tell him things, but not everything. This time, I am keeping Toby out of it.
Ty looks at me. “You get a shower. I’ll be right back with clothes.”
“Get me a toothbrush too,” I tell him, and then head into the bathroom. I lock the door behind me, lean up against the counter, and take a deep breath.
I refuse to break down right now. Brian Asher isn’t worth it. I push myself up and get into the shower.
I’m over all of this. I am not the same girl I was last year. I am smarter and stronger. I refuse to let this break me.
Brian can suck it.
The jeans that Ty bought are a size too small.
“You did this on purpose,” I say, pulling at the waist of my jeans, trying to stretch them.
Ty just grins. “They look fine to me.”
Gabe nods. “Ty is right. You look hot. Maybe you should wear a size smaller all the time.”
I turn to glare at him.
“I seriously didn’t do it on purpose,” he says. “I thought you wore this size.”
“No, you didn’t,” I say. “You’ve been shopping with me before. I’m the same size now that I’ve always been.”
“If you don’t like them, you can always go to the store and buy a different size,” Ty says, shrugging.
I narrow my eyes. “I would, except we have to be at class in, like, twenty minutes. I don’t have time.”
Ty starts to say something else, so I cut him off.
“Just forget it,” I say.
I turn around and grab my bag off the foot of the hotel bed. Slipping my cellphone into my back pocket, I walk towards the door. Since we are only on the second floor of the hotel, I walk past the elevator and towards the stairs. If I leave now, I will have just enough time to get a coffee.
“I’m riding with you,” Ty says from behind me.
I roll my eyes. “Whatever.”
“We both have the same class,” he reminds me.
Of course. How could I forget. Ty and I have a sex class together. Which is thoroughly awkward, considering he always sits right beside me, making highly inappropriate comments. And, of course, considering the fact that we used to have sex.
I want to say I regret it, but the sex was good. Like, mind blowing good. But then Ty started developing feelings for me and he ruined it. Or maybe he always had those feelings for me and I just forced him to face them.
I get into my Range Rover and start it up. As Ty is getting in, I turn on the radio because I don’t want to talk to him right now. Especially
after his confession last night.
He told me he loves me.
I already knew it, but he said it out loud. He changed the game. Now, I don’t know what to do.
As I pull out of the parking lot, Ty reaches for the radio, turning the volume down.
“So, how are you?” he asks.
“Fine,” I answer, offering him nothing else.
“Are you going to be cold towards me because of what I said at the party last night?”
I glance over at him, then back at the road. “What you said?”
Yeah, okay. I’m feigning innocence. But who wouldn’t in this situation? I don’t want to think about him being in love with me. I can’t think about it. If I do, then I’ll have to think about the fact that I led him on when I was so uncertain about my feelings.
I’m such a bitch.
“Kihanna, don’t do that,” Ty says. “You know exactly what I’m talking about.”
I keep my mouth shut.
“The fact that I told you I’m in love with you,” he says.
“Oh,” I say. “That.”
“Yeah, that,” he says. “And I know you. I know that you run away from every guy who has ever said that to you. Both me and Gabe. And now that I’ve said it again, you’re going to try and shut me out.”
“I don’t do that,” I protest.
“Yes, you do.”
Okay, maybe I do.
“Maybe I’m just meant to be alone,” I say. “Like my mom was.”
“Your mom wasn’t alone. She had you,” Ty says. “I don’t have to know your mom to know that you were enough for her. You made her happy.”
I shrug. “I guess.”
“You make me happy.”
I take a deep breath, trying to put my feelings into words. The last thing I want to do is hurt Ty, because I truly do care about him. I love him. But I don’t know if I love him
. I don’t know if I ever will. I love Ty like I love Toby.
“You make me happy, too,” I tell Ty. “But I don’t know what I want. I’m confused about my feelings.”
“Don’t soften it for me,” he says. “Just tell me what you’re feeling.”
“Okay,” I say. “I love you, but I’m not
love with you. I think I’m too young to be serious with a guy. I’m only eighteen years old. I want to have fun. I want to be your friend. I want to be Micah’s friend. And I don’t want either of you to be jealous of the other. I even want to be friends with Gabe, if he ever forgives me for what I did. Maybe I want to date other guys.”
“Do you want to date me?” he asks.
“Yes, be honest,” he says.
“Okay,” I say. “Then yes, I want to date you. I had a lot of fun when we were having sex. We have a
of sexual chemistry, and I miss that. But I don’t want you to be jealous when I date other guys, which seems inevitable.”
“So, let’s date.”
“And you’re going to be okay with it if I go out with another guy?” I ask.
“See, this is why we can’t,” I tell him.
“No. I want to,” he says. “Okay, so maybe I will be jealous of every other guy you go out with, but if that’s what it takes for you to see that I’m absolutely perfect for you, I can put up with it.”
“Okay,” I say. “One more thing...”
“We still can’t have sex.” I bite my lip, waiting for his reaction.
He laughs. “We will see how long that lasts.”
I pull into a parking spot on campus, and turn to Ty. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that I know you. And if we are hanging out a lot, you will definitely be having sex with me,” he says. “It’s inevitable.”
I just roll my eyes and get out of the car.
Maybe Ty is right about the sex. It has been way too long.
After my last class of the day, I am about to head back to my hotel room. I’m not sure if Gabe and Ty are going to still be there tonight, but something tells me that Ty will be. Part of me is annoyed because I know he’s going to work hard to get me to have sex with him. The other part of me is relieved because I
want to be in the hotel room by myself. Not with Brian still out there.