I'll Be Your Mirror: The Selected Andy Warhol Interviews (16 page)
Read I'll Be Your Mirror: The Selected Andy Warhol Interviews Online
Authors: Kenneth Goldsmith
CLARK: The L.A. County Museum has one of yours.
JIM: Yeah, it’s the only good thing in the place.
ANDY: Oh, really, which one?
JIM: One of the
Disasters
, the fireman carrying out the child.
ANDY: Oh, really, a silver one?
CLARK: No, a black and white one.
GERARD: I really like that one, it’s so perverse.
Silence
JIM: Were there any stars at the opening of the show at the Trip?
ANDY: Oh, yeah, it was really exciting. Jennifer Jones was there and I met her.
GERARD: Sonny and Cher were there too, but Cher left early.
ANDY: Oh, she’s so conservative. Sonny liked it. I wish the Beach Boys had come.
SOMEBODY: Andy, you’re a purist.
ANDY: Oh, wow! JIM: Where’s the Ferus?
SOMEBODY: It’s on La Cienega.
Silence
GERARD: If the Trip doesn’t open tonight, can we have a movie-star party tonight?
ANDY: Oh, that would be really great. Ask Jack when we get back. He knows movie-stars. So does Severin.
Musical Interlude: The car radio, which is always on, is playing the Lovin Spoonful Did you ever have to make up your mind? Did you ever have to finally decide? Your ambiguity shines in the bright blue, smoggy air. The sun shines on the car, the radio is on. Hollywood is very same. Its sameness makes driving static, like driving around inside a polyethylene beach ball
.
SOMEBODY: Andy, do you like Los Angeles?
ANDY: Oh, yeah, life is so simple here.
Andy, his entourage, and his world float across Hollywood like a grand, benign ascension balloon. They drift toward a convocation of balloons at the Ferus Gallery on La Cienega.
Scene: Ferus Gallery. A room with white walls and ceiling. On one wall a large black and silver photograph of Andy Warhol with his fingers resting lightly on his lips. On the opposite wall a large black and white photograph showing an inflated silver pillow escaping from an upper window of Andy’s art Factory in New York. In one comer is a green tank of helium. On the ceiling are two dozen of the same silver pillows. There are several slightly deflated silver pillows on the floor. Andy comes in with half a Heath Bar in his hand.
ANDY: Hi, did we get any mail?
GIRL: Yeah, I think there’s a letter for you.
The entourage begins playing with the silver pillows.
ANDY: Do you have a pair of pliers?
GIRL: Yeah, I think there are some here. . . . No, I guess not. I’ll go next door and see if they have some.
She goes next door and is gone for about ten minutes. She comes back.
GIRL: They didn’t have any.
CLARK: Andy, do you want me to go up to Liberace’s gallery and see if they have some?
ANDY: Oh, that would be really great.
Liberace’s gallery doesnt have any pliers, so the whole entourage goes out to look for some. In half an hour they are all back and one of them has two pair. Andy reaches into the pocket of his black suede leather jacket and pulls out a yellow package of Juicy Fruit gum. He puts this into another pocket, reaches into the first pocket and pulls out a package of lead fishing weights. He pulls down one of the silver pillows and attaches some of the lead fishing weights to it with the pliers. The silver pillow floats back up to the ceiling.
ANDY: I wish they would just float in the middle.
The room is quiet. Andy and the entourage are putting lead fishing weights on the silver pillows, pushing them off so that they hit the ceiling and bounce back, and just float in the middle. The room is quiet and light from the bright blue smoggy sky outside. The silver pillows are floating around bumping into each other without making any sound. Andy and his entourage feel like they are becoming lighter. They feel like soon they will be floating too, right in the middle of the Ferus Gallery on La Cienega, bumping into each other without making a sound, right between the big black and silver photograph of Andy Warhol and the black and white photograph of an escaping silver pillow. Andy puts lead fishing weights on the last silver pillow and pushes it away. It moves slowly through the air, then floats motionless.
ANDY: Oh, wow! I’d like an ice cream cone.
Scene: Hotel Beresford, San Francisco. Andy dressed as before, but with a plain blue and white striped tee-shirt. He is washing a pair of black socks. Another pair hangs drying on the towel rack, as does the dark blue tee-shirt with small white and red stripes. Someone knocks on the door and Andy goes to open the door. Jim comes in.
ANDY: Oh, hi, I’m washing some socks.
JIM: Why don’t you just throw them away when they get dirty?
ANDY: I like to keep them, they might be valuable some day.
JIM: When did you get here?
ANDY: Oh, the day before yesterday. Oh, wow, it was just like a movie-star’s arrival at the airport.
JIM: Dial the Velvets come up too?
ANDY: No, just Gerard.
JIM: Well, what do you want to do tonight?
ANDY: I don’t know. What do you want to do?
JIM: Have you had dinner yet?
ANDY: No, but I can just take a diet pill and not get hungry.
JIM: Well, let’s go to Chinatown and have a Chinese dinner.
ANDY: Oh, that would be really great.
The phone rings and it is Paul calling from The Castle. Andy talks to him and ]im lies on the bed looking at a huge mass of photographs of Andy, the Velvets, Nico, Edie Sedgwick and other friends and superstars. Andy says goodbye and hangs up.
ANDY: Is it cold outside?
JIM: Oh, it might get a little chilly later on.
ANDY: Should I wear a sweater or my jacket?
JIM: I don’t know.
ANDY: Do you think my jacket would look funny?
JIM: I don’t know. It’s up to you.
ANDY: Oh, no. It’s up to you to decide.
JIM: Well, wear the jacket then.
ANDY: Shall I take the tape recorder?
JIM: Why?
ANDY: Oh, I might want to record something.
They go out into the hall. Andy locks the door and they go down the elevator and out the front doors.
ANDY: Are we going to have a good time tonight?
JIM: Probably not.
ANDY: (
wicked smile
) Oh, really? We got thrown out of the last hotel we were in. We were all registered and then the manager saw us and didn’t like Gerard’s beads, so he said we could stay only one night.
JIM: What did you do today?
ANDY: Oh, I just watched television. Oh, wow! There’s a candy store. Can we buy some candy?
JIM: Sure.
ANDY: What kind of candy do you like?
JIM: I don’t think I really want any. Chocolate makes me sneeze.
ANDY: Oh, really? That’s really great.
They go into an Awful Fresh McFarland candy store. Andy looks at all the different kinds of candy. The saleslady makes small talk, cuts off pieces of candy to taste.
ANDY: Oh, it all looks so good. What kind shall I get?
JIM: Oh, I don’t really care. That kind looks good.
ANDY: All right, I’ll take a half a pound of that kind and a half pound of this kind.
SALESLADY: That will be a dollar twenty-nine.
Andy reaches into a pocket of his black suede leather motorcycle jacket and pulls out a yellow package of Juicy Fruit gum. He reaches in again and pulls out some bills. He gives the money to the saleslady and gets his change and the candy. They go out.
ANDY: Would you like some gum?
JIM: I always accept gum from strangers.
ANDY: (
wicked smile
) Oh, really? I guess I shouldn’t eat so much candy. It’s probably not good for me. I think I like to buy it more than I like to eat it.
JIM: Why don’t you just buy it and throw it away?
ANDY: Oh, what a really great idea.
Andy and Jim go into the Far East Restaurant on Grant Street. The waiter motions them to a table and gives them menus.
WAITER: Do you want a drink before you order?
ANDY: Do you want a drink?
JIM: Yes, I think I’ll have a martini.
ANDY: Do you have some really dry sherry?
WAITER: Yes.
ANDY: I’ll have a little glass of sherry, and make that a double martini for him.
JIM: Are you trying to get me drunk?
ANDY: Oh, yeah.
JIM: I’m not sure that it’s worth the expense. I usually just drink and drink and stay sober until I pass out.
ANDY: Oh, I like people who can really hold their liquor.
They look at the menus. Andy takes a sip of his sherry. Jim drinks his double martini.
ANDY: Oh, everything looks so good. Oh, wow, they have ginger beef. Can we have some ginger beef?
JIM: Yes, and let’s have some oyster sauce beef and sweet-and-sour spareribs.
ANDY: Is that the kind with pineapple?
JIM: Yes.
ANDY: Oh, wow, I love pineapple.
WAITER: You gentlemen like to order now, or you want another drink?
ANDY: Bring him another double martini.
JIM: It’s useless, Andy.
ANDY: I already feel a little drunk.
The waiter comes with the double martini. They order dinner and drink their drinks. Dinner comes and they eat.
ANDY: Oh, this is really good. I just love ginger.
JIM: We always used to come here when my parents and their friends would go out. They used to get tight and build a pagoda out of the teapots.
ANDY: Oh, the Chinese food here is much better than the Chinese food in New York. It’s really the best food I’ve ever had.
JIM: Do you want some coffee?
ANDY: Don’t you want another drink?
JIM: No, Pll just have some coffee.
ANDY: Could we have some coffee and the check?
JIM: What did you do with the candy?
ANDY: Oh, I threw it away.
The waiter comes with the coffee and the check. Andy and Jim drink their coffee and Andy looks at the check. He reaches into one of the pockets of his black suede motorcycle jacket and pulls out a bill. The waiter picks the bill and the check up, smiles widely, bows and retreats. Andy and Jim get up and go out.
JIM: You left him an enormous tip. Are you depressed?
ANDY: Oh, no. He was so nice and the dinner was really great.
JIM: Do you want to go to LiPo’s?
ANDY: What LiPo’s?
JIM: It’s an evil bar.
ANDY: Oh, really? Do you like to go to evil bars?
JIM: Not really. It just looks like an evil bar in a 1946 movie about shot-down Yanks in Shanghai during the war. That’s why I like it.
ANDY: Are you evil?
JIM: No, I think I just like to look at evil.
ANDY: (
wicked smile
) Oh, really?
Andy and Jim go into LiPo’s. It is decorated in a garish style that reminds one of an evil Shanghai bar in a 1946 movie about shot-down Yanks. There is a gilded Buddha at one end of the bar and a Scopitone at the other end.
ANDY: Oh, wow, it’s so Ana Mae Wong.
JIM: Don’t you think it’s really neat?
BARTENDER: Could I see I.D. please?
Jim takes out his driver’s license, Andy takes out an old green passport. The bartender looks at Jim’s license then at Andy’s passport.
BARTENDER: Ooooh! You old. You surprise me, you no look 38. You look very young.
JIM: Could we have two Burgermeisters?
ANDY: Oh, they have a Scopitone. Can we play it?
JIM: Yes, that’s why I brought you here, so you could play the Scopitone.
ANDY: Oh, really? What does it have?
JIM: Bobby Vee.
ANDY: Bobby Vee? Oh, I just love Bobby Vee.
They play Bobby Vee on the Scopitone. Jim drinks his beer. Andy talks about the Velvets and about Clark Kent “of the Daily Planet” (his real name is Michael Kalmen, but he introduced himself to Andy as Clark Kent and now everybody calls him that) and doesn’t drink his beer. Jim finally drinks Andy’s beer. Andy and Jim get up and go out. They start looking in shop windows.
ANDY: Look what beautiful cuff-links they have.
JIM: Do you really think so?
ANDY: Oh, yeah. Oh, wow, look at those great switchblades. I have a thing about knives.
JIM: Why?
ANDY: Oh. I guess I used to have a knife. I wonder if they have some cheap perfume? Can I buy you some, cheap perfume?