Ignite (26 page)

Luckily, by the end of dinner, everyone had forgotten the James Dean conversation much to Dean’s relief.

Emma fell asleep in his arms, and he put her to bed much more easily than I ever had.

Jenny and Callie chatted by the front door, and Chase waved goodbye as he headed upstairs to brush his teeth.

“Thanks for dinner,” I told Dean. I didn’t let him clean up the kitchen since he cooked, so I had that waiting for me once they left.

“Any time,” he said casually, but I could tell there was something more behind it.

I realized I was holding my breath. There was something about him that I couldn’t deny − something that I hadn’t felt in a long time, or ever. I felt better when I was around him. I didn’t like it when he left, but I hated the awkwardness that sometimes surrounded us. Something told me we needed to have another talk to make that go away, but I wasn’t sure when that would happen. I needed to tell him I was staying, at least for the time being.

I chewed on my lip, unsure of how to start it. It was simple. I should just tell him what I was thinking. But somehow, it seemed like I would end up saying much more, and I couldn’t do that.

“Goodnight,” he said finally, reaching for the door. I almost stopped him, but Jenny was already outside and I didn’t want her to wait in the cold any longer.

“Night,” I said softly. He was usually the one who leaned down to kiss me on the forehead, so I did something that surprised even me. I grabbed his shoulder and used it to balance myself as I stood up on my toes and kissed his cheek.

He seemed surprised, but didn’t pull back. When I pulled away, he gave me his sideways smile and still left too soon.

As soon as I had locked the front door, I turned to see Callie staring me down from up on the landing.

“Looks like you don’t care about the man-whore past so much either,” she said, smiling.

“Shut up,” I told her sarcastically, grinning from ear to ear.

She shot me a look as I leaned up against the door, and I realized how much Callie was acting like a little sister.

I was actually starting to enjoy it.

I SAID GOODNIGHT to Callie and Chase, then went downstairs. I retreated into my little bedroom and read through the book that I had brought with me on the airplane when we went to California. The only light that was on in the entire house was the lamp next to my bed, and I left my door slightly open just in case one of the kids needed me. When shut, it was hard to open, and Emma was known to have nightmares.

The book was resting in my hands, but my thoughts were elsewhere. I remembered what Dean had said to me on the plane about how he felt about me, and I wasn’t sure if that was still true. He knew things about me that barely anyone knew—the things that I had told him about Daniel weren’t common knowledge. He was kind of right about Siberia, but I didn’t know how to get out.

Something out of the corner of my eye brought me out of my reverie.

I couldn’t breathe.

I knew I was seeing things, but that didn’t mean I didn’t freeze to my bed, mouth open, wanting to cry but unable to make a sound.

I didn’t move, but my eyes darted to my phone next to me on the dresser.

Without taking my eyes off of the doorway, which was now devoid of a figure, I called the first person that came to my mind.

He answered on the second ring, his voice filled with concern.

“Lauren? Are you okay?”

I didn’t know what to say. It was like my voice didn’t work.

“Lauren?” His voice came over the receiver, sounding even more worried than before.

“I-I’m sorry,” I managed in the tiniest voice possible. “I just need you.”

I knew that’s all I had to say.

“I’m on my way,” he said immediately, and I heard him getting out of bed. “Do you want me to stay on the phone with you right now?”

I didn’t know what to say to that either.

“Yes,” I whispered breathlessly as my mouth chose for me, my brain not comprehending what I just saw. There was a sadness building in my heart that I didn’t know how to control. I didn’t want to let it out. If I could just keep it inside where no one could see, maybe I would be okay.

“I’ll be right there,” he said, and I heard a door shut. If he ran, he would be here in thirty seconds. “Lauren, what is it? Is there someone in the house?”

I nodded my head, but then remembered he couldn’t see it. “I don’t know,” I said softly, my eyes still on the doorway.

“Can you come open the door for me?” he asked.

In my mind I knew there was no one in here but the kids and me, but it didn’t make me any less petrified after what my mind conjured.

“When are you going to be there?” I whispered.

“Now,” he said, out of breath.

“Hold on,” I told him, forcing myself to slide out of bed. I knew I would feel better once I let him in, but I didn’t want to walk from my room to the front door, even though it would take three seconds.

I turned on all of the lights that I possibly could and slid around the corner, hoping my eyes wouldn’t play tricks on me again. The porch light was on, and I could see Dean’s shadow through the window.

I unlocked the door as quietly as I could and breathed a sigh of relief when I saw him standing in front of me. I saw him, and I just collapsed. Literally.

It was like I knew he would step forward and catch me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and let him support my weight as he shut the door. It creaked too loudly, but I didn’t care. I just didn’t want to be alone anymore. It was absurd how grateful I was for him right then and there.

We stood silently for what felt like forever, his hand smoothing over my hair and my back, and me holding him so tightly I was afraid I was hurting him.

He looked up and one of his hands left my back, and I followed his gaze to see Callie standing on the landing looking down at us. She rubbed her eyes and walked sleepily back to her door.

I didn’t even want to move, but he moved one of his hands down to mine and clasped it tightly, nodding toward my room.

As he pulled me through the door, I couldn’t help but look around wildly just to make sure I didn’t see it again.

He sat on my bed and pulled me down next to him, where I pulled my knees to my chest and shivered.

“Can you please shut the door?” I asked, not wanting to see the darkness past the light.

He shut it easily and then came back to me where he sat facing me.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. “I know you wouldn’t call like that unless you were really scared.”

I nodded but I still felt numb.

“Can you just come here?” I felt stupid asking, but I was so, so cold.

I pulled the blankets up over me and he followed me, and he lay on his side so he was facing me. His face was so full of concern that it made me feel like I was crazy.

“Stop looking at me like that,” I whispered.

His expression changed slightly.

“I just want to understand what’s going on,” he told me.

I swallowed and tried to find my courage.

“I don’t know if you know what happened to my dad,” I said, and I felt like I was going to burst into tears.

Dean nodded and one of his hands came up to my face like he knew he was going to have to wipe my tears away when they came.

“I do know,” he said softly. “The mine.”

I nodded.

“I didn’t really get to say goodbye.”

“So what happened just now?” He leaned closer, trying to coax an answer out of me.

“I thought I saw him,” I whispered. I turned my head up towards him and met his gaze. “I thought I saw him walk by my doorway and turn and look at me.”

The look on his face made my heart break.

“Lauren,” he said, surprising me when he pulled me closer.

“I know,” I whispered. “I’m sorry, I know that sounds crazy.”

His brow furrowed and he pulled back to look at me.

“That doesn’t sound crazy at all.”

Neither of us said anything for a long time. We just stayed that way until I felt like I was slightly more sane and a lot more calm.

“Do you want me to stay?” he asked finally.

I nodded. “Please.” He moved closer. “But what about Jenny?”

He shrugged.

“She’s safe. I hate to say it, but isn’t the first time she’s spent the night alone in our house.”

I hated what he was implying and he seemed to read my mind.

“Not like that, Lauren,” he clarified, clearly annoyed with the fact that I could so easily jump to that conclusion. “Sometimes I just had to get away.”

“Okay,” I whispered. I didn’t want to make him elaborate on what that meant, but I was glad he would stay here. I didn’t want to be alone right now.

He reached behind him to turn off the lamp, and knocked my book off the dresser in the process.

“Sorry,” he whispered, straining to reach for it in the dark.

“Don’t worry about it,” I told him.

He turned back to face me, and before I could stop myself, my arms wound around him. He pulled me closer, and our faces were inches apart.

“Thank you,” I whispered, finally feeling like I could close my eyes. I was so exhausted.

He leaned down and kissed my forehead lightly.

“Just sleep,” he said, lighting me on fire when his lips brushed mine so slightly I wondered if it even happened at all. “You’re safe.”

I WOKE UP to light streaming in through the window as it crept through the cracks in the blind. I sighed softly when I realized Dean was still here. I was even more surprised that I woke up before he did. He was still facing me, and I had an urge to reach out and touch his long, dark eyelashes. Boys were always blessed with lashes that girls envied, and they didn’t even notice. He had a few freckles on his face, but I had never looked at them so closely them before. I just stared in awe at how perfect his face was, and how unreal everything seemed.

He was here simply because I asked. Even that seemed like a feat for me. I wasn’t used to needing people, or letting them help me. I was good at pushing them away.

I didn’t want to push this beautiful man out of my life. I wanted him to stay as close as possible.

I moved slightly, trying to reach one of our phones so I could see what time it was. When I shifted, his arms tightened around me and I felt him take a deep breath when he opened his eyes.

I had never wanted to kiss anyone more than I did when Dean Powell opened his beautiful, sleepy eyes and looked at me.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hey yourself,” I said softly.

He kissed my forehead and I shivered.

“Are you cold?” he asked.

I shook my head. “No.”

He smiled and I knew that he knew that little shiver was just for him, even if I would have denied it.

I reached for my phone and saw that it was time for me to wake Emma and Chase up. Callie would already be long gone for school if she hadn’t been suspended.

“I have to go get them ready for school,” I said softly.

He yawned.

“I don’t want you to,” he said, putting his head back down on the pillow and burrowing in like he was five.

I laughed and lightly tugged on his hair.

“I know, but I have to.”

“Make Callie do it,” he said into my neck.

“That’s mean,” It didn’t sound too terrible though from where I was. “Isn’t it?”

He shook his head. “I’ll pay her. That’s how much I don’t want to leave right now.”

I really didn’t want to leave either. In fact, if I could just sleep for another six hours, that would be fine by me.

I typed a message to Callie on my phone and hoped she would wake up. When she didn’t respond for a few minutes, I groaned and tried to get up.

Dean protested.

“I have to,” I said. “Callie isn’t answering.”

He gave me a look.

“Give me your phone,” he said.

I handed it to him, but stayed sitting up.

He dialed and put it to his ear.

“Callie,” he grumbled when she answered. “Please take Chase and Emma to school.”

She must have said no.

“Two hundred,” he said. “Then you can come back home and go to sleep.”

That woke her up, because I heard the bathroom door upstairs shut.