If You Want It (BDSM Billionaire Erotic Romance) (If You Dare Book 2) (6 page)

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Chapter Seven

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An hour later Zoe was dressed in casual jeans and a t-shirt and making her way out of the hotel’s main door. She had to get away from the place and any chance of bumping into Dawson, because if she stayed here she knew that she would go running to him if he called her. She made her way on the local bus to a remote part of town and wandered around the shops and local tourist attractions, trying in vain to put all thoughts of Dawson from her mind.

She stopped at a small café to have some lunch and then proceeded to push the food around her plate; her appetite non-existent and her temper rising rather than cooling off. She knew that it was probably fucked up of her, but she really wished that he’d been angered by the fact that she’d had sex with another man and not just because she was on the fucking clock. At least it would have shown her that he actually gave a damn about her rather than just using her to get his rocks off when it suited him.

Zoe took a sip of her glass of water and pushed her plate away. She felt like nothing more than a piece of meat that he was more than happy and willing to use so long as it got him what he wanted. And in this instance it got him into business with Armando. She loved her job. She really did. But she didn’t love it enough to put up with being treated like this.

In the cold light of day she realized that she might have fucked Armando with the distinct hope that it might make Dawson a little jealous, but if that really had been her intention it had backfired miserably. The very fact that she wanted him to be jealous made her stop and think of things from another angle as well. Why would she want him to be jealous? Was she falling for him and hoping that their relationship could evolve from a business and sex one to a romantic one?

If that really was the case, and she had a sinking feeling that it was, she was more of a fool than she realized. Dawson was an egotistical self-centered man who had nothing but business and sex on his agenda, and it was about damn time that she realized that. If she’d been secretly harboring a desire to change him into a man who could actually have feelings for her, then she finally understood that she was sadly mistaken, because it was never going to happen in a million years.

Zoe got up from the table, paid her bill and then walked back out into the afternoon sunshine. It was no good her moaning and wailing about how she had been treated if she wasn’t prepared to actually do something about it. If she did nothing and it happened again, and she was in no doubt that it would, she would only have herself to blame. So far she’d taken pride in the fact that by letting him control her in the bedroom she was ultimately taking control and choosing to allow it. It was time for her to put a stop to it and prove to herself and to him that she was the one who called the shots and who could also call things off.

She flagged down a taxi cab and gave the driver the name of her hotel, and then while the car was maneuvered through the bustling streets Zoe decided to check her phone to see if she had any messages. There were a few from Armando, and she listened to him asking why she’d left without saying goodbye and would she please call him to maybe arrange another date. She deleted them without bothering to reply and then listened to the half a dozen or so messages that Dawson had left.

“Zoe, I need you back at the hotel immediately. There are some things we need to discuss with regards to writing up the new contract with Armando.” The next few messages were along the same line; all of them about business and not one of them asking her if she was okay or where she was. She deleted each and every one of them, again not bothering to reply. What she had to say to him needed to be said face to face and not via a text message.

She couldn’t remember the last time that she’d been so angry, disappointed and disillusioned, and with ice in her veins she made her way back to the hotel to confront Dawson. She didn’t bother calling ahead to his room, taking a chance that he would be there and not be too busy to talk to her. She felt the first fluttering of nerves a split second after she’d banged on his door and her stomach started to do a little flip-flop while she waited for him to answer.

“Zoe. I’ve been trying to call you all day.” There was no concern or query as to where she’d been or what she’d been doing. There was just an aloof annoyance that he hadn’t been able to get hold of her, and that pissed her off all over again.

Zoe marched past him into the room; not bothering to wait for him to invite her in. “Yes, well I’m not at your beck and call twenty-four hours a day, Dawson.” She turned to face him and the nerves she’d been feeling disappeared in a flash. What she was about to do was the right thing for her. She knew it without a shadow of a doubt and the knowledge calmed her even though she was still furious.

“Actually, Zoe, you are.”
Had he really dared to say that to her,
she thought incredulously. Her anger kicked up yet another notch. “While you’re here on company business, you actually are at my beck and call.”

“Sit down, Dawson.” Her voice was as cold as her heart felt. “Now.” The look of amazement on his face as she dared to give him an order was almost worth everything she was feeling. But for once he didn’t argue with her. He just slowly sat himself down in the nearest chair and stared at her with something akin to trepidation on his face, which left Zoe feeling empowered for the first time in their fucked-up relationship.

“I was deliberately ignoring your calls today.” She actually hadn’t been. Her phone hadn’t even been turned on because she’d left it in her purse so that she could ignore it on purpose. “And do you know why I was ignoring you?” She didn’t wait for him to answer. “I was ignoring you because you’re an egotistical asshole who expects everything to be exactly as you want it to be without a single thought to who you might be hurting in the process.”

Dawson’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline at that, but she still didn’t give him time to say anything. “I was ignoring you because I realized today that I’m nothing more than the company whore, and you don’t give a shit about what I do or who I do it with so long as I get the job done. I was ignoring you because all you were concerned with was a fucking contract between your company and the man who fucked my brains out last night. I was ignoring you because you don’t give a shit about me or my feelings, and I’ve finally realized that.” She paused for breath. “I was ignoring you because I could and because it really didn’t matter whether I answered or not.”

“That’s not true, Zoe.” Dawson finally managed to get a couple of words out, but she was far from finished talking yet. “Of course it matters, and I was concerned when I didn’t hear back from you. Why else do you think I called so many damn times?”

“It’s not true? How can you say that Dawson when only today you were annoyed that I’d fucked another man while I was supposed to be working?” Her voice was spitting fire now, but she was only just getting started. “Most normal men would have been furious that I’d actually slept with someone else, but you didn’t give a damn about that, did you? All you cared about was the fact that I’d done it on company time. All you were concerned about was whether I’d messed up any chance of Armando wanting to do business with you and your damn company.”

Dawson opened his mouth to reply, but she held up her hand and effectively silenced him with just a look. “And then, after you’d scolded me like a naughty child, you proceeded to fuck me in your own special way.” Zoe’s fingers came up as she spoke to give some air quotes. “And then you had the nerve to actually congratulate me on securing the contract with Armando. Do you not realize how completely fucked up that is, Dawson? You couldn’t even be bothered to tell me about him agreeing to your terms before you fucked me because all you were concerned about was doling out punishment for me being indiscrete!” Zoe knew that her voice had raised an octave, but she was way past caring at this point.

Dawson had the grace to at least look a little abashed, but he wasn’t ready to admit that she was right. “I thought that you enjoyed what we did together. What I did to you. You can’t tell me I was wrong about that, Zoe, because I know your body and what it likes.”

Zoe was infuriated. “You’re completely missing the point for God’s sake. You had absolutely no problem about me being intimate with another man so long as it secured the contract you wanted.” Even saying the words made her feel dirty. “I’m nothing more than a glorified whore for you and your company, Dawson. You fuck me when it suits you and you use me as your sex toy when there isn’t anyone else available to take part in your kinky control freak games.”

Dawson was starting to look seriously pissed off by this point, but Zoe was way past noticing or caring. “I thought that this was the job of my dreams, but it’s turned out to be nothing more than an up-market version of standing on a street corner touting for business. And I’m done.”

“Can I speak now?” There was definite sarcasm in Dawson’s voice, along with a good amount of annoyance and exasperation. Zoe nodded her head; her words having finally run out. “Okay, for your information, there is always someone readily available and more than happy to take part in any ‘kinky control freak games’, as you call it. But I don’t tell you about them because quite frankly it’s none of your business. As for not caring about you sleeping with other men, it would be a tad hypocritical of me in light of my last statement, don’t you think?” He quirked his eyebrow and Zoe could have quite happily slapped it off his face.

“Now, on to your statement about being nothing more than the company’s whore. You get paid damn good money and travel all over the world at the expense of the company. What you do not get paid for is to sleep around while you’re supposed to be working. So yes, I was pissed off that you had sex with Armando during company time, but I don’t own you and you’re not my possession, so while I may have been disappointed about it I was not going to act irrationally jealous over it. If that makes me a bad person then so be it, but I can’t change who I am or how I feel, Zoe, and if you have a problem with that then maybe it’s time to reevaluate exactly where you want to be and what you want to be doing with your life.”

Zoe felt an ice-cold calmness wash over her at his words. “You’re absolutely right, Dawson. It is time that I made some changes in my life, and I’m going to start right now.” She started to walk towards the door. “Thank you for the opportunity of working with you, but I need more than you or the job is capable of offering me. I’m sure that you won’t have any problem at all in replacing me, and seeing as how the contract you wanted with Armando has been secured, this is the perfect time for me to quit.”

Zoe opened the door and then paused on the threshold; a small part of her willing him to argue and ask her to stay. When it became obvious that he was going to do no such thing she continued talking. “This time I don’t require any kind of severance package, but I’ll expect to be paid in full for the hours I’ve worked. Take care, Dawson. Goodbye.”

She left the room and closed the door quietly behind her before making her way to her own room where she sat on the edge of her bed and promptly burst into tears. Zoe wasn’t worried about how she was going to manage financially until she found a new job; she’d managed to save quite a nice sum of money while in her employment with Dawson and her house that she had been renting out was currently vacant so she could move back in at any time.

She just needed to know what direction to take in order to get her personal life and her emotions back on track, but that was something that could wait until she got home. Zoe took a deep, calming breath, wiped a hand across her face and reached for the telephone. The first thing she needed to do was book a flight home and then she could concentrate on moving forwards and leaving Dawson behind her.

To be continued…

Evelyn Troy