If You See Her (33 page)

She had too much grief in her life already.… How could he have added to it like that? It was only the hundredth time he’d asked himself. He figured he’d do it another hundred times before he ended up putting it away.

Maybe after he’d put it away, he’d feel level enough to face Hope again.

Maybe.

“Bad?”

Hope pushed the keys into Remy’s hand and gave him a strained smile. “Of course not. I didn’t put a scratch on it.”

He tossed the keys onto the desktop and said, “I’m not talking about the damn car.” He reached up, cupped the back of her neck, and brought her against him.

“I know.” She sighed and snuggled against him, resting her head against his shoulder. Once more, it amazed her at how
right
that felt, how natural. Like, maybe, just maybe this space had been made just for her. Absently, she lifted a hand and smoothed his shirt. “It was bad enough. He said he was sorry, for barging over to your place. And for earlier. All of it.”

“Okay …” Remy stretched the word out.

Feeling a little foolish, she eased away from him and crossed her arms over her chest. “I can forget the deal with him barging over to your place. That’s just Law.
He’s got to get it in his head that he doesn’t
always
have to protect me.”

“That’s not going to happen any time soon.” Remy smirked and rubbed his jaw.

“I know. And I can forget that part.” She winced and shot him a look. “I know maybe you might not feel the same …”

Remy sighed, leaned back against his desk. “Sweetheart, look, I’m not pissed off at him over last night. What he did last night was … well. Hell, it’s typical Law. Hotheaded, impulsive … but he did have you in mind. You definitely hadn’t had the best day and he
knew
that. If you’d been out with some guy just looking for an easy lay, well …” He ended with a shrug.

“Guys aren’t going to put up with me just to get laid,” she muttered, shaking her head. Not with all the issues she had. Running her hands through her hair, she linked them behind her neck. “But I’m glad you’re not angry with him.”

“Oh, I didn’t say that.” Remy’s voice went hard and flat. His gaze was cold and wintry. “I’m plenty angry and it took more self-control than you can imagine not to deck him yesterday.”

He pushed off the desk and came to her, cupped her cheek in his hand. “I’ve seen so many people say hurtful things to others, more than you can imagine, probably. And sometimes it really does get to me.” Stroking his thumb over her lip, he gazed into her eyes as he murmured, “But I’ve never once felt that pissed off by somebody’s
words
before, Hope. Never. I wanted to pound him into the ground for putting that pain in your eyes. So yeah, I’m angry. But this is between the two of you—you two are friends and I’m not going to come between that.”

She wasn’t sure, but Hope thought her heart might
have just melted. And for the second time that day, she was fighting tears. To hide it, she leaned forward and pressed her brow to his chest.

“It makes it worse not knowing why he did it,” she muttered. “I just can’t get it out of my head—
why
did he do that?”

“Did you ask?”

“Yeah.” She closed her eyes, breathed in the scent of him. Man, she loved the way Remy smelled. Male … warm. Expensive. Idly, she noticed the same scent was on her, now. It was the soap he used. She’d discovered that in the shower when she lathered up with it. The smell was borderline intoxicating on him, not so much on her. Absently, she stroked her hands up and down his sides.

“Hope, you’re making it very hard for me to have a conversation here.”

“Hmmm?” Tipping her head back, she glanced at him through her lashes, saw that he had a look on his face that was rapidly growing familiar.

That lovely blue was heated, his lashes low over his eyes. And she found herself wanting to push up on her toes and tug his head down close enough to kiss him.

He groaned. “Damn it, are we talking or not?”

“We are talking,” she said, but she was more interested in his mouth than his words.

Remy gripped her hips and pulled her close. Through their clothes, she could feel him and the feel of him had her shaking. Slowly, deliberately, he dragged her against him. Just once. But it was enough to set her nerve endings to sizzling and her mouth to watering.

Then he dipped his head and caught her lower lip between his teeth. “You’re killing me. Are we talking or should I go lock the damn door?”

“Lock the door …?” She blinked and then shot the
door a look. Blood rushed to her cheeks and then she backed out of his arms so fast, she almost fell.

“Guess that answers that.” He snorted. With a pained look, he moved back behind his desk and sat down. “Maybe it will be safer for me back here.”

“Ahh … sorry.”

“I’m not.” He slanted a grin at her. “Just looking at you can do that to me. It’s just worse when you’re standing so close. And I get the feeling you need to talk about the mess between you and Law.”

Law …

That was enough to douse the fire dancing inside her veins. The energy drained out of her and she sank down on the couch tucked up against one wall. Burying her head in her hands, she said, “I just want to know why. And he can’t give me an answer, because he doesn’t know. He says he knows she won’t be bothering us again and if he
says
that, I trust him. Law … well, he knows people, Remy. I can trust him on that.”

Just the misery on her face was enough to set him off again.

But Remy knew she didn’t want or need his fury, so he fell back on logic. Folding his hands across his belly, he waited until he knew his voice would be level before he said anything. “Hope, you know this doesn’t have anything to
do
with whether or not Law thinks she’s going to come back and hassle you two. It has to do with the fact that she never should have done it to begin with. She came there armed, and it terrified you. That alone needs to be dealt with.”

“Hell,
I
understand that.” She pulled one knee up against her chest and rested her chin on it, staring morosely off into the distance. “But it’s not even about that for me.”

Remy wanted it to be about that—very much. Fuck,
this was a mess. But he wasn’t going to harp on that point … just yet.

“So what is it about?”

She looked at him and the haunted look in her eyes was like a bare-knuckled punch straight to his heart. “He can’t even tell me why he was so willing to use our friendship for a woman he doesn’t even know. He didn’t even care about me, Remy. He’s known me for thirty years, almost our entire lives. He saw her for five minutes. And he’s willing to use me to protect her … and he can’t even tell me why.”

“Is that what he said? He can’t tell you?”

Hope nodded, her gaze miserable.

Blowing out a sigh, he came out from behind the desk and settled on the couch next to her. He rested a hand on her back, stroked it from her neck down the curve of her narrow waist. “Then maybe he doesn’t understand why either, and chances are, that’s burning him up, too.”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” she muttered. She got off the couch and started to pace, her quick, angry strides taking her back and forth across his office in dizzying circles.

As petite as she was, those legs of hers could really move when she wanted, he mused.

Under the faded cotton of her too-large T-shirt, her shoulders were hunched and rigid. Abruptly, she stopped in midstep and whirled around, glaring at him. “Damn it, just give me a
reason
, okay? It doesn’t have to be
the
reason, but one thing that could explain why he did it. Maybe then I can let this go.”

“One reason?” Remy cocked a brow. Uncoiling off the couch, he came over and stood in front of her. Idly, he combed his fingers through her hair, watched as the silken brown strands fell back into place. “You know,
I’m not really the kind of guy who is prone to violence. Not automatically. I usually think things are better solved a different way. I can remember the first time I saw you, though. How Prather had his hands on you, how you looked so scared … and even though he hadn’t hurt you, I wanted to hit him. Just for scaring you. There isn’t really any
sense
to that, I know. No logic. No reason. But I wanted to do it and I’d only seen
you
for a split second.”

She lifted her gaze to his.

Slowly, he lowered his head, and staring into her eyes, he rubbed his mouth against hers. Without lifting his head, he murmured, “Then you took off running and all I wanted to do was follow. Not much sense in that, either, considering all you did was look at me for that split second and you wouldn’t say two words to me.”

Her breathing hitched. She reached up, curled one hand around his wrist.

“Sometimes a few minutes, a few seconds, even just one look can be all it takes,” he said quietly, lifting his head and staring down at her. Resting a hand on her waist, he drew her close. “It doesn’t excuse what he did, and I don’t know if that’s the reason. But it’s one that makes sense in my mind. I can’t think of any other reason why Law would suddenly decide to turn into an ass, at least where you’re concerned.”

Determined to see her smile, he added, “I think he’s always been an ass, but at least with you, he tries not to show it …”

It worked, for just the barest second. But some of the misery faded from her eyes. Still scowling though, he noticed. Her brow furrowed as she smoothed her hands down his shoulders. “So you think maybe he’s just, um, attracted to her?”

Remy grimaced. “Now you’re asking for more than
I’m equipped to handle. You asked for a plausible reason and I gave you one. But yeah, maybe that’s what it is. But
if
that’s the case, I’d say it’s more than attraction.” Nuzzling her neck, he murmured, “After all, attraction isn’t quite describing what I feel for you.”

“Hmmm.” She tipped her head back. “And just what does?”

“Oh, now that list could go on. And on …” He raked her soft flesh with his teeth and smiled as she shivered. “But if you really want me to go on, you really
should
lock that door.”

And to his surprise, she pulled out of his arms, then went and did just that.

Remy grimaced as he glanced at the clock on the dashboard. He had way too much work to get done and there weren’t enough hours left in the night to get do it.

“I made you run behind again,” Hope said.

He shook his head. “No, you didn’t. I’m the one who told you to lock the door.” Then he grinned. “And you did it, too … I was a little surprised by that.”

Hope grinned back at him, despite the blush on her cheeks. The smile faded as he came to a stop in front of Law’s house.

“You okay?”

She nodded. “Yeah. I’m fine.” Then she glanced at him. “I am, really. Something dawned on me, earlier. This isn’t home to me, you know? I need a place of my own. Or at least someplace that doesn’t just feel like …”

“Someplace where you’re not a guest?”

“Yeah.” She blew out a breath. “That’s not Law’s fault. He doesn’t
treat
me like a guest. But this isn’t home.”

“Then find someplace that is.” As soon as he said it, he wanted to yank it back. And because he wasn’t about
to see her leaving, he reached out and curled a hand around her neck, adding, “As long as you find it around here. Because if you try to find it elsewhere, I’ll probably follow you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Just found you … not losing you.” He kissed her, sliding his tongue into her mouth and groaning roughly as she opened for him.

“I’m not too fond of the idea of losing you, either,” she mumbled as she pulled away. She licked her lips, then made a soft little humming sound under her breath.

It drove him nuts.

“I might kind of look around, see what happens,” she said, sighing. “I can’t do anything fancy, but I can find something decent, I suppose. Law p … ah … well, I’ve fairly steady money coming in.”

Law …
He bit back a laugh and suddenly, he figured something out. That heavy-ass box she’d been fighting him over the day he’d come out here—it had been full of books, envelopes and stuff.
Law’s
books.

She was working for the guy. Somehow.

Shit, no wonder she didn’t feel at home here. Running his tongue along his teeth, he asked, “So … just where does that steady money come from? If you’re looking for a place to stay, you’ll need to list a job, you know.”

Her eyes went wide, panicked.

“Ah …”

Remy cocked a brow. “I guess self-employed might work, if you had Law listing you as a contract employee or something—I don’t know if writers do that sort of thing.”

“What … you …” She snapped her mouth closed, staring at him.

Grinning at her, he shrugged. “Hey, I’m a lawyer. Between me and Nielson, we know everything about everybody.
But don’t worry. It’s not like I plan on taking out an ad on it or anything.”

“You know?”

“Yep.” He rested a hand on her thigh and shrugged. “I just figured out what you were doing, though. You work for him. Assistant or whatever, I take it?”

“Yeah. Pretty much. He … well, Law’s not exactly organized. I am. I handle all the stuff that he forgets, and the stuff that he doesn’t have to do, so he can worry about what he needs to do—which is write. It works, better than I thought it would, actually.”

“And he pays you.”

She shot him a wide grin. “Oh, yeah.” Her smile faded and she sighed. “Although I can’t really put down ‘author’s assistant’ on any application, can I?”

Remy shrugged. “Hell, self-employed will probably work. Besides, this is Ash. We’re more likely to let things slide than some. And maybe I can help you find a place.”

He wanted to offer his place, but that wasn’t right, either, he realized.

As much as he’d love to have her there, she’d never
had
anything on her own. And the two years she’d spent after she’d left her husband, that didn’t really count, because he suspected she’d spent every minute of that constantly moving around, fearing he might come looking for her.

Hope needed to settle, needed to see that she could stand on her own. By herself. She needed it.