If I Break THE COMPLETE SERIES Bundle (25 page)

“Lauren, Lauren.”

I open my eyes to see Angie standing over me. “Hey,” I say, starting to wake up.

“You’ve been sleep this entire time?” she asks, turning on a lamp beside us.

My eyes adjust to it; the sun has completely set.

“I guess so,” I tell her groggily, sitting up.

“Are you feeling okay?” she asks worriedly.

“Yeah, I’ve just been really tired,” I tell her.

She feels my head. “You’re warm. Do you feel sick?”

“No, I feel fine. I just haven’t been getting much sleep,” I lie. I’ve been getting tons. It seems as if all I’ve done is sleep—or cry.

“Are you sure?” she asks skeptically.

“I’m completely fine,” I assure her. The last thing I need is another person worrying about me; that’s the reason I left Raven’s house.

“Okay, well, I picked up some Chinese on the way home. I thought you would have been up by now.” She giggles, grabbing a remote. The stereo comes on. “We need some life in this house.”

She laughs, shaking her hips to the beat. I laugh at her as she shimmies toward me with the most serious face in the world.

“I’ve seen you shake it at the club. Don’t act all shy,” she warns me then grabs my hand and leads me to the kitchen.

“What did you get?” I ask, hearing my stomach growl.

“Fried rice, orange chicken, and onion pancakes” she says, passing me a plate and silverware.

“So how is grad school going?” I ask her as I wash my hands.

“Boring and difficult, but it beats getting a job.” She laughs, grabbing an onion pancake and sitting on the counter.

I roll my eyes playfully. Angela’s parents have agreed to pay for everything she wants or needs as long as she’s in school, and she’s taken it to the extreme.

“Come on, don’t look at me like that. Cal spoils you rotten.” She giggles.

“Well, that’s because he’s never home,” I say dryly, taking a seat at the table.

Her expression softens, and she sits next to me. “Is he still working for Crestfield Corp?”

I nod.

“Long hours?” she says skeptically.

“Yeah, maybe that’s it.” I laugh to myself sarcastically.

“You don’t think he’s cheating on you, do you?”

“He says he isn’t, but how many cheating husbands tell their wives that?”

“Do you believe him?”

“Our problems, I believe, are much bigger than a woman, but I can’t rule it out.” I laugh, pouring myself some fried rice. I take a spoonful, feeling awkwardness fill the room.

“What can be bigger than an affair?” she asks.

“I wish I knew,” I say, pushing my plate away. I’ve suddenly lost my appetite.

“You know, when you called me, I was sort of surprised, to say the least,” she reveals.

“I’m sorry about the lack of information; I just needed to get away,”

“It’s okay. I know how it is.” She smiles warmly. “I remember how you and Cal were, how in love you guys were. Not to mention how extremely jealous me and Hillary were.” She laughs. “I mean, he was incredibly hot.” She sighs.

I smile. “He still is.”

“You remember Devon? I’d want to jump his ass whenever I saw him. The problem was so did every other woman who saw him.” She laughs.

“Devon, the basketball player, right?” I ask as if I didn’t know. He was unforgettable, with tanned skin, coal-black hair, and a pair of greenish eyes.

“Yep, and every city he played in, he had at least three women.” She giggles. “You know, I’ve dated Asian, black, Hispanic—oh, and Italian—and honey, you know what they all have in common? The inability to understand the concept of being in a monogamous relationship,” she explains with a frown, pouring more rice on my plate. “I’m determined to find one though. Up until now, I’ve had the worst taste in men.”

I feel sad for my friend. I remember her and Devon and how infatuated she was with him. He was beautiful, but Angela matched him, having caramel-colored skin, exotic eyes, and a face that could pull off short hair. She attracted men of all kinds, just never the right ones.

“Don’t we all,” I mumble before taking another bite.

“Well, at least we’re as not bad as Hillary. That girl could pick the devil himself out in a lineup.” She sighs.

“Yeah, the only good guy she had was Kevin, and she dumped him for that terrible jerk, Aaron.”

“God, I thought 
I
 could pick bad ones. She takes the cake though.”

My thoughts drift away from Angela’s voice. I remember all too clearly the night I saw how bad a man could be, and how truly helpless and lost a woman could be. That same night, I saw a side of Cal I never wanted to see again, but a small part of me was thankful it was there.

“I’
ll never get tired of this,” I say while resting my head on Cal’s chest. The roof of his building has one of the best views of Chicago.

“Then get used to it.” He smirks, unfazed.

I roll my eyes playfully and ignore him to look at the sky. I’ve grown quite accustomed to his aloofness over things that I’m fascinated with.

“I could stay here forever.” I sigh, gazing at the stars.

I glance at Cal, whose intoxicating gray eyes are allowing faint hues of green to shine through. God, when he looks at me like that…

“What?” I ask with a smile.

He laughs lightly. “You’re no good for me.” He wraps his arm tighter around my waist.

I look at him with a perplexed expression. “Why is that?” I ask playfully.

“You remind me of something,” he says quietly, and I arch my eyebrow in question. “It’s not another girl.” He laughs, feeling my unspoken jealously.

“Then who?” I ask curiously, and his smile softens.

“More of a feeling,” he mumbles, running his hands through my hair.

“Is that so bad?” I ask with a smile.

“I don’t know yet,” he says before he presses his lips against mine, pulling me into a sensual kiss. It still makes me lightheaded.

“No, you’re no good for me.” I giggle.

He smiles. “And why is that?” His fingers are trailing down my stomach.

“You distract me,” I tell him, ignoring the chills he’s giving me.

“From what?” He grins mischievously and continues his path.

“From things I’m supposed to concentrate on—like life, bills, school,” I rattle off.

“Well, that’s boring,” he states, starting to unbutton my shirt.

“You know everyone can’t live your life. Stealing away on jets, living in an expensive penthouse, doing whatever you please,” I tell him, trying to focus on my words and not the tightness in my stomach.

“Well, they should,” he says before his lips find my neck and kiss it hungrily.

“The world would be in chaos,” I explain to him as he continues to undress me. Little does he know, I will not be letting him have his way with me on this roof. I mean, I
probably 
won’t.

“I’ve lived life the other way. It wasn’t too interesting,” he mumbles, pursuing my lips with his.

Before I get lost in his kiss, I pull away. “And when was this? In between you jumping out of planes or jumping off buildings?” I purr, wrapping my arms around him.

“Another lifetime.” He grins, massaging the back of my thighs. “
This
 is how you should live.”

“I’m sure everyone would like to live like this, but this is a fantasy. You can’t live like this every day.”

“I do.”

“Well, that’s because you’re 
unique
,” I tease him, remembering the word I used when Dexter asked me to describe him. It still seems to fit.

“Normal is boring; it’s getting up every day, working a nine-to-five job you hate, coming home to the little wife and monsters running around the house, then going to sleep and starting over again. I don’t want the highlight of my life to be getting a promotion and still earning less than fifty grand a year.” His voice is lighthearted, but there is seriousness in his eyes.

“Life doesn’t have to be like that. Marriage doesn’t have to be routine, and your kids don’t have to be screaming monsters.” I chuckle.

“Why work all your life with nothing to show for it, only wishing for things that you could never afford? Dreaming about places you’ll never get to go? I wouldn’t trade this for normality. It’s overrated,” he mumbles, getting up from the hammock.

“You make it sound like all you care about is money.”

“It’s not. It’s about living life to the fullest. Doing what you want instead of just fantasizing about it. You need money to do that,” he says as if it’s simple.

“There’s more to life than traveling the world and living in the moment, Cal. Those things are great, but what makes vacations enjoyable is that you’re getting away. If you’re doing it all the time, what’s the point? What about having a family, settling down?” I ask him.

“You hear what you said? Settle? I never plan to settle for anything,” he states.

His words sting me. Getting married and having a family is settling? Is this, now, all there is to him? Doing what he wants and not considering anything else? And where do I fit into this equation? I’ve been with him a year and I don’t really know. My feelings for him are getting stronger every day I spend with him, and all of these feelings are entangled with lust.

It scares me that I’m too afraid to ask these questions because, well, I’m not sure that I even want to know the answers. Cal is unlike anyone I’ve ever met. I’m important in his life today, but what happens when I’m not? I’ve seen how quickly he gets bored with things.

It was inevitable that I’d develop feelings for him after all the time we’ve spent together. He makes me feel like no one else has. A year has passed like moments, and when I’m with him, time isn’t really a factor. I wrap my arms around myself, feeling the cold now that I’m out of Cal’s arms. I let out a much needed sigh. My phone rings, and I ignore it.

“So is that what I am to you? A little bit of fun, something you just want to do for a while?” I ask.

He walks over to me and lifts me into his arms. “The reason you scare me is because you’re not,” he whispers in my ear.

I look into his eyes, feeling helpless. This man could easily break my heart. He stole it with a smile, and I don’t think I want it back.

“Do you want me to be?” I ask him, taking a cleansing breath.

He lifts my chin so I can see him. “Never.” He gives me a boyish grin.

He still gives me butterflies, and his touch has given me tingles since the time we first met.

“I’m still not entirely comfortable around you,” I say honestly.

“That’s a good thing; when you’re comfortable, that’s when you get bored.”

“Tell me what doesn’t bore you?” I ask him sarcastically.

“I can think of a few things,” he says with a mischievous grin.

My phone rings again. It’s the ring tone I assigned to Angela. She wouldn’t call me twice in a row unless it was something important, so I slink out of his arms to pick up my phone and answer it.

“Hey, Angela. What’s up?” I giggle, ignoring Cal’s hands roaming down my body.

“Lauren… Hillary’s here. I… I don’t know what to do… she doesn’t want me to call the police.” Her voice is shaky and high-pitched.

“The police? Hold on, Angie, what happened?”

Cal stops bothering me and looks on, concerned.

“She got into a fight with her boyfriend. She’s really bad, Lauren. I don’t know what to do,” she explains.

“He hit her?” I ask in disbelief.

“It’s really bad this time.” Her voice wavers as if she’s about to cry.

Oh God, I can’t believe this!
“This time?” I ask frantically.

“She didn’t want me to tell you. She knew you’d want to go to the police. I’m sorry, I didn’t know it’d go this far.”

I feel myself shaking. “I’m on my way,” I tell her quickly before hanging up. I can feel tears welling in my eyes.

“What’s wrong?” Cal looks concerned.

“Hillary’s boyfriend beat her up,” I tell him quickly.