Icon of the Indecisive (5 page)

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Authors: Mina V. Esguerra

Tags: #Romance, #Fantasy

BOOK: Icon of the Indecisive
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Chapter 12

 

With the question of whether I was pregnant with a half-god baby out of the way, I got to experience my first school day as
someone's girlfriend.

It was awesome.

You think I'd be less giddy about it, because I also knew the many ways that having a boyfriend could suck, especially when you were young, and in school, and in the middle of nowhere like us.

What was interesting was what I discovered about myself, on this, my first day of being with a
boyfriend.

Yesterday's Hannah, Hannah Before Boyfriend, wondered why couples flaunted their togetherness too much on campus. Even with my firsthand peek into their hazy, hormone-filled thoughts, I always thought they could at least control themselves when other people were present.

Today's Hannah, Hannah Technically With Boyfriend, couldn't care less about what you, random person, thought about her hormones. Robbie's hand on the small of my back, just that light touch, made me feel all warm and comforted inside, but jittery and electric at each point of contact. So it felt this way for everyone? No wonder they kept wanting it. It was so strange and addictive. I took his hand, and touched his fingers, and found a way to clasp them together.

I knew it gave him the exact same feeling. I knew it. It felt great to know I was doing it right.

So we did that in front of everyone who was on campus that morning, and that pretty much announced it—Hannah and Robbie were
together.

And I didn't care.

He walked me to every class. And it didn't feel like he
had
to. I knew he wanted to. He was talking about this really bad movie he watched on TV last night, and it was a conversation that took place ten minutes at a time, between three classes. I didn't care. As soon as I got out of my classroom our hands would connect again, and by lunchtime we had a routine. Hand, kiss, breathless "hi." I liked that sequence the best.

 

 

Later he asked me if I could have dinner at his house. Like, with his family.

I was supposed to have dinner with Tita Carmen. At least I said so when she asked me this morning if she should make enough for both of us. As Robbie said this, I was facing my locker, deciding which books to take home, and maybe if I kept looking there, I would have told him that.

But instead I faced him, and noticed that behind him, in the distance, on the other side of the hall, was Quin and Ms. Cabral. They both had their bags, like they were ready to go, and together they turned in the direction of the parking lot.

"Yes," I told Robbie, with a huge smile on my face. "Yes, let's have dinner at your house."

 

 

Majalia, Luretta, and Sheila. They were beautiful and similar, understandable because they were sisters, so I couldn't really tell them apart.

"There's going to be a quiz," one of them said, laughing. "You should have taken notes."

"Robbie said he had a lot of sisters," I said, to no one in particular. "Three isn't a lot."

"Oh we're not complete yet," Majalia (maybe) said. "We're just the losers who don't have plans tonight."

"And still live at home," Sheila (maybe) said.

"And still live in the country," Luretta (maybe) said.

"But we're also very
, very curious, because Robbie has never brought a girl over before."

"Never?" I acted surprised, but yes, I knew that. Nothing Robbie had ever felt for other girls matched what he felt for me.

"I was starting to give up on that school," Majalia said, "We keep hearing about the crazy things the rich kids are doing there. Didn't think he'd find someone normal."

But I'm not so normal either.
"Is Robbie pretending to be a nice guy? He's a crazy one over there too," I joked.

They liked that. They laughed and poked fun at their little brother all throughout dinner, and asked me so many questions that I actually only got to answer half, because they were talking over each other. It was a noisy, happy household, something I never had, and it kind of e
xplained why Robbie was so well-adjusted.

They weren't poor, by the way, I learned as I walked into their five-bedroom house.
He was in Ford River on scholarship but that didn't mean he was impoverished; Ford River was wicked expensive. So, like me, he grew up with all the comforts of home but his parents just couldn't come up with full tuition. His other siblings had to go to school too.

But they had two cars, and a big TV, a wide selection of movies and music, and one laptop per household member. As far as I could tell.

Robbie's dad had a hearty laugh, and his mother had the job of telling everyone to pipe down and let Hannah eat. I wondered for a second what my life would have been like, if my parents liked each other more, if they cared to have more than one child, if we had more days like this one.

I probably would have liked Robbie on sight, and only him.

Those who want what they know they can't have, they probably just have an emptiness inside that they're hanging on to.
Keep it empty, keep me incomplete. Who am I without it?

I wasn't going to be that person anymore. No more waiting.

 

 

After dinner was coffee, and after coffee Robbie excused us from the table, and then we headed up to his room. He locked the door behind him.

"Yeah, so. I'm really sorry about that."

"I expected something like it."

"No, I don't think you did."

"You told me about your sisters before. This was definitely a possibility."

Before I could figure out where to place myself in the room, he had scooped me up and dropped onto the bed with me. Our lips met, and it was
hours
since we last kissed, and we made up for lost time.

She's wonderful with them they really like her

She's beautiful

She smells great

I want I want

His thoughts were quick, the rhythm of them, the song of his heart... It was so real, and it was for
me.

I'm so lucky

We both thought that. It wasn't the first time.

I gasped
when his lips went for my throat, and he liked that. He liked it when I ran my fingertips through his hair and down his spine. His hand grazed the bare skin of my back, underneath my shirt, for a second and I shivered, not unpleasantly, and he liked that too.

I knew how far exactly he was planning to go right then (not very) so I wasn't afraid.

He liked that I didn't seem afraid.

"How long do we have before someone knocks and tells us to cool it down?" I asked.

Robbie laughed and sat up, bracing himself against a faded blue wall. He was probably at his most handsome right at that moment—he looked so happy, and rumpled, and mischievous. "I won't be surprised if they're listening out there right now."

I sat up too and let the bed bounce gently beneath me. I quickly fixed my hair, and straightened my shirt, and let out my breath slowly.

She's gorgeous

I can
't believe she's here

"Thank you," I said, even though Robbie hadn't said anything aloud. I just thought he should hear it.

 

Chapter 13

 

When I heard Diego and Vida arguing, voices raised, just a notch under yelling, I should have turned around and headed in the opposite direction, never mind if I had to take a longer route to the Guidance Office. But I shrugged, and went ahead anyway, and Diego just happened to see me.

"New Girl," Diego Simon called, and it couldn't have been anyone else but me. "Come over here. Vida has some funny business going on with one of your people."

I assumed that he meant my devotees, people who had summoned the Goddess of Love and had received a response. (Diego's people called to him when they needed help with their work. Vida's people were the truly desperate.) I stepped into the empty classroom and sort of wandered into the fourth row, while the God of the Sea and the Goddess of the Moon were stationed near the blackboard, separated by pieces of a broken lightbulb, scattered on the floor.

Vida and Diego were both so unnaturally good-looking, I noticed. They looked nothing alike but there was something about them that felt the same, and I used to think it was a quality that all popular people had. They walked around like they owned the place.

Of course nobody realized that they owned
the universe.

"My people?" I asked anyway. 

"He's not
hers
," Vida said.

I
had to be careful around Vida, since I couldn't remember most of what happened when she visited me.  I seemed to recall though that she smelled of jasmine, and her hair was shiny, and her fingernails were painted blue. That didn't help at all. So I just shrugged.

Diego stepped on a piece of bulb and it shattered under his shoe. "Jake Lalisan. Remember him?"

"Kathy's secret admirer. Now her boyfriend, yeah," I said.

"He makes lightbulbs explode now."

"How would I have anything to do with that?" Vida said, and it seemed like it wasn't the first time.

"
Because
you made him your plaything before New Girl and I sent him off to his true love. And now he can burst bulbs. I don't think that's a coincidence."

Vida shook her head and huffed a little too dramatically. "And this is why you are where you are, Diego, in the hierarchy of everything. Because you're not very smart." She crossed the space between them, crushing more glass under her heels.

Before leaving the room though, she tossed me a look. "How are you, Hannah?"

"I'm fine, Vida."

"Anything stressful happen to you recently?"

Only the sudden nausea, but I didn't understand how it had anything to do with her. Did she poison my food or something? Why would Vida even

"I'm fine," I reiterated.

"Because you know you can always ask for my help, when you feel you're in over your head."

Wouldn't she just. "I can handle myself, Vida."

She smiled, flipped her hair, and left the room.

"She's always been a bitch," Diego said a second later.

"What do you want, Diego?" I asked, a bit wary. To be honest, I still didn't know yet where to place him in the filing cabinet that was my life right now. (I was thinking of the extra filing I had to do at the Guidance Office to make up for my hours.) He was there when I needed him, but not in the way that I probably should be needing anyone.

He was the only one who was always upfront and honest with me, and I didn't even have the power to read his mind.

But he was also the guy who ended up saying hurtful things, and strangling my fragile hope.

"Bad mood?"

"Tummy's been bugging me lately."

"I need information. Maybe you saw something in Jake's memories that'll explain this new ability?"

"Why is breaking lightbulbs a power again?"

He rolled his eyes. "It's not. I suspect that what he can do is illumination."

"What?"

"He can create light from nothing, New Girl. Or heat, at least. You remember how I made the bonfire?"

Yes, and then I immediately remembered how Diego kissed me
right there in front of the senior bonfire
and I coughed. "Yeah."

It was a great kiss.

"I think he's doing it, and he can't handle it yet, so the lightbulbs explode. This is his third incident. The dean's concerned about possible injuries."

"I can talk to Jake for you."

"Tell me if you remember something you saw in him. I think Vida knows what's happening but I'm out of the loop."

It was probably true, but I didn't really want to be involved in whatever drama they were having. "I need to go to Guidance now."

"I'll walk you there," he said, and I didn't want him to, but he did it anyway. And he deliberately walked a little too close to me, enough for him to "accidentally" nudge me every few steps, enough for students to gawk at us as we passed. Diego was, of course, a famous personality on campus. Apart from being an athlete, he had that wild curly hair, perpetual anger thing that some girls (Sol included) seemed to go for. The rest of the students never saw him being nice and cozy with a girl though, and he was no doubt enjoying how the stares were making me uncomfortable. Especially since I had just outed myself as Robbie's girlfriend.

"Well this is me," I said, at the Guidance Office. "I have to go."

He smiled, and it was equal parts nice and evil. "Say hi to your boyfriend for me."

"What are you talking about?"

"Robbie. Nice guy. Finally made his move, I see."

"Is he talking to you about this?"

Diego looked smug, more so than usual. "You think he's naturally confident, New Girl? Or do you think he has a friend who's Team Robbie and helps make sure he does the right thing?"

"Stop it," I said, "Don't mess with him."

"I'm just
helping.
You like him anyway, don't you?"

"You really don't want me with Quin that badly?" I blurted out, and was surprised that I did. I never once thought that, by the way, never thought that Diego was a rival to Quin, or at least never thought that whatever rivalry they had had anything to do with me.

I just didn't think I mattered that much. I mean, I knew the prophecy, that Quin would love someone that much, but Diego once asked if I felt that I was extraordinary enough to be that woman.

I didn't think so. I never thought so. Why did I just talk like I thought so?!

But maybe it was the bad movie I watched, and the lessons in mythology I was picking up from unreliable sources...

Anyway, I realized
what I had just done, and it was embarrassing. But Diego enjoyed that slip.

"Are we believing prophecies now?" he said, and he laughed a bit. "I like the improved self-esteem, New Girl. Maybe you're becoming one of us now."

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