Ice Burns (9 page)

6

Chandra picked up her goblet and watched the water very intently as it poured out of the pitcher. Her mind told her that it was some trick of the light. Nothing would come out because she evidently imagined that it had filled itself. Water poured into the goblet at a trickle with bits of ice and became hefty. Chandra set both cup and pitcher down on the table before turning deftly to look behind her. She crouched down to look under the table then hurried across the room to look inside her wardrobe despite the fact it wasn't big enough to hold a person. There was no one else in the chamber to have cast a spell.

Chandra closed the double doors of the wardrobe and turned back to look at the pitcher that sat innocuously on the table.

There was no one else in the room to have cast a spell...

Chandra continued to stare, a warm feeling filling her chest and making her heart race with joy. Somehow, she must have had tapped into her power and refilled the pitcher.

Desire is one of the strongest aspects of casting.

Master had told her that many times. She had always taken it to mean that she must not want to do well but saw it now for the truth that it was. Now all Chandra needed to do was figure out how she had managed it.

Chandra spent the remainder of the day finishing the first book, which ended up being an inventory of items bought and sold at some estate over 100 years ago and started on the one she had grabbed from behind Master Dreys' desk. Now that there was no pressure to find a magic key in the books, she was somewhat able to enjoy them.

The second book had interesting bits of history as well as several passages that were personal letters and notes. She even found a passage referring to a magical house cat.

"This is incredible. This whole entry entails how this cat appeared out of nowhere and magnified the mage's magic," she told Frostwhite.

The bird looked up for a moment after preening its feathers and met her eyes. It didn’t show any outward form of reaction, but she felt like Frostwhite was listening. Chandra went back to reading.

After a few more pages about magical animals, she spoke again. This time, she arched an eyebrow at the bird. “Do you have magic?”

The bird stood and stretched his wings out wide.

Keek kee kee keek

"We need to work on your conversations skills," Chandra said and shook her head at him with a smile. Frostwhite preened.

“Okay, I’ll read it then,” she told him with a smile. Chandra felt like a child wishing on a star that the dark things that haunted her dreams would go away, but she read on with a touch of hope in her eyes. “Here we go...”

The writing style seemed to indicate it was a diary.

I was tending to the herb patch because my parsley had begun to encroach upon the lemon balm when I found myself staring into a clear set of eyes. As you can imagine, I was very startled. No creatures ever wandered thusly. My gardens have several wards up to prevent scavengers and foragers from destroying all I had worked for. Despite this, before me was a great minx cat staring at me with what I can only describe as a rather joyous expression on its face.

Its eyes had no color except an outline to show where the iris should be, and its coat was a blue that might be mistaken for gray if the observer wasna a foot from the feline as I was. I honestly thought I was knackered from my time in the sun. I wondered if I hadna made some cross-hybrid herb that had managed to bewitch me.

The great cat, though... It sat there, smiling its feline smile and watching me with eyes big as saucers. O'course, the only reason I knew there was a difference in its eyes was that its pupils looked dilated; hypnotically-like in those strange, colourless eyes.

When it started to move closer, though, instinct woke the fear in me. I knew there was something unnatural about the cat. I wasna willing to take chances with it until I determined what was amiss. That thought in mind, I reached out one arm to call the rake I had left near the cottage. The derned thing about took my head off with the force of the calling.

The tool flew at me like a daemon of raw power, the like of which I had ne'er seen afore. My abilities had ne'er been anything of significance. I was able to call objects and use magic to make tasks easier.

Chandra stopped reading. She looked at Frostwhite, who was so close he was almost in her lap. Part of her brain called for caution, but she found that she was no longer afraid to be close to the hawk. Frostwhite's glistening silver-white eyes were staring at her. There was no cocking of the head or angling to look at her with one eye this time. His lack of human language was not a barrier just then.

"That’s what you are," she whispered. "But, if that's true, then I must have some magic trapped inside me that you're making stronger?"

Frostwhite bobbed his head, and she knew it was more than normal bird behavior. Chandra reached forward and gently stroked the feathers on his head with her fingers curled into her palm.

Keek

She smiled at him and wondered at how soft he was, and great it felt to have the knowledge that she could touch him, and he would welcome it. She felt a pressure in her mind similar to when she had accidentally drawn water up her nose in a bath but without the pain; it was pressure. Her eyes widened, and she looked again at Frostwhite, knowing that the pressure was him, somehow. Slowly, like when she had understood a math problem in one of her childhood classes, the realization of everything that had happened made her breath catch.

“You mean there is actual magic in me? It isn't parlor tricks and randomly uncontrolled ability?”

A well of emotion and thought swelled through the young woman. Chandra had never acknowledged how completely afraid she was of not having any mentionable power. Failure seemed to follow her like a shadow that she could never separate from. A tightness in her chest that she didn’t know was there, loosened. She could do as Master needed her to; she could truly be his apprentice. It made Chandra want to shout her relief and joy.

"Okay, so now I have to figure out how to call and control magic," she ran both hands up the side of her face and tucked stray locks of hair on either side behind her ears. "It's only the thing I've been trying to do since I was little and what will allow me to stay at the estate. No pressure."

Frostwhite cocked his head at her for a moment, turned and flew up to the window. He landed there for a moment and looked back at her before diving out into the night.

A tiny voice in the back of her head told her that no matter if she had magic or not, she would never be able to control it or do what Master wanted. Chandra felt a quick tremor of fear and then a wave of anger.

Childish impatience overran her for a moment, and she slammed a fist on the table as she fought to control the fear that was second nature. The same things children and teachers at the estate whispered about when she went past scraped through her, but they only pricked her pride a little this time.

She wasn't alone this time. Frostwhite was with her. The pressure in her mind felt warm for a moment, and she knew that he had heard her and agreed. She closed her eyes and smiled at the suddenly welcome affection she felt.

With her eyes closed, she saw dark skies that looked so much brighter than she ever thought possible and felt the drag of the wind across her body; it was neither cold nor warm, there.

Chandra opened her eyes slowly. She knew that she had seen what Frostwhite saw for a moment; what he had shared. Chandra smiled and felt her friend acknowledge her again in a way that almost felt like he was giving her a little tug to continue.

"Quit wasting time, I get it," she whispered to the empty room and knew her soft words would float away to her friend as he rode the winds.

Chandra lifted the book and continued to read. Though she still felt the desperation of her tenuous position, she also came to the realization that she deserved this power. This magic was her birthright and was hers and hers alone.

Frostwhite made her want to reach down and keep going. He was part of whatever awaited her. He was meant to be her companion. A part of her warmed at the thought that she would never again be truly alone. Chandra had been alone for too long.

Chandra lifted her head and looked across the table, eying the goblet of water that was sitting there. Her hairs stood on end, and she fought the apprehension she felt any time she attempted to call power. Taking a breath, she reached for it; her left-hand stretching, fingers pointed at the object of her intent.

Chandra stretched but did not stand to move closer to the cup of water. She leaned forward with her hand slightly open as she thought about pulling the cup to her. She pushed her will forward, feeling the pressure in her similar to when she had touched Frostwhite’s mind. Chandra focused, breathing slowly and willing something to happen. For once, she felt a tingling pressure in her hand. The cup jiggled, catching on the table and spilling the contents that came rushing at her like a tiny wave.

Thankfully, it was only water that soaked her pants with its makeshift river. The cold, wet made her jump to her feet with a yell of surprise before she laughed. Chandra stood there with her hands out and remembered that her extra blanket was already wet from drying off Frostwhite. As she didn't have anything else, she pulled it from the table. It did little good when dabbed at her wet pants, but she was preoccupied with the cup lying on its side.

Chandra had never been able to do so much as made a feather move. Magic seemed only to happen for her when her emotions were more in control than she was. It was never something she actively caused. Though it was true that she hadn't achieved the effect she sought, she had managed to make an effect.

In her heart, she felt a swelling of pride and genuine gratitude. Chandra knew that, without Frostwhite, nothing would have changed. Chandra closed her eyes and thought of the hawk before whispering her thanks. A flutter brushed across her, and she imagined his feathers brushing against her hand as it had before.

**********************

Chandra wore a circle on the floor as she attempted to retrace all that she had thought, done and said before the cup had shifted toward her. She needed to be able to make it happen on command, every time if she wanted to get better at it. The point when Chandra had controlled her magic played again and again in her head. She didn't want to try again without making sure she knew precisely how to repeat the action.

The key to whatever had finally allowed her to do magic needed to be in her grasp before Master came back.

"Had I moved my hand a certain way? Was there a particular thought in my head," she mused aloud. The hawk drowsed on the windowsill, seemingly oblivious to the woman's frustrated mutterings.

“Has your inner-dialogue escaped or have you finally lost your mind, apprentice?”

Chandra almost jumped on the table in shock at the sudden voice. She turned to see that the door to her chamber was open, and Deakon stood in it with a tray in his hands.

“Trying for a career in the kitchens?” Chandra spat at him.

"Now, now, don't take your lack of magic frustration out on me," Deakon said smoothly, the note of gaiety apparent in his voice. Chandra narrowed her eyes at Deakon, someone who had always gone out of his way to point out her shortcomings and make her as miserable as was in his ability.

"I would not be the apprentice if I had a ‘lack of magic' as you put it," she hissed. "So, why don't you shut up, set down the tray, and leave me alone?" Less than twenty seconds in his presence and Chandra already felt her hands itching to wrap around his throat.

"Really? Well, if you have magic, why don't you show me, and shut me up?" Deakon said after he had set down the tray and helped himself to one of her rolls.

“I’d like that very much,” she told him.

Chandra glared at Deakon and thought about how it would be sheer bliss to have him eat his words. As soon as the words passed through her thoughts, Deakon choked on the bread. He dropped the uneaten portion of the roll on the floor as he reached for his throat, his eyes wide and fearful as he tried to find his breath. Chandra gaped at him for several moments, unblinking. Then, she moved toward him, thinking to help. She said a silent prayer, hoping she hadn't been the one to cause Deakon to choke.

Before she reached him, however, he stood up straight and smiled.

Bastard!

She stopped less than a foot from him and glared at him for trying to trick her. Chandra knew she should have seen it coming, but she felt a blush spread up from neck to her forehead. She started to turn away, but Deakon smiled, and she wished in the quiet corner of her mind that she was a participant instead of the center of the joke.

Deakon continued to smile and moved his lips, but no sound came out. Chandra's hazel eyes went wide as the smile dropped from Deakon's face, and she burst out laughing. Deakon went red as he opened his mouth wider in a silent shout as he continued to try to force words through his lips. Despite his efforts, no sound came.

“What's that? I'm sorry, could you speak up a little?" Chandra said with a smile.

"Oh, you wanted to tell me what an excellent mage I am and how wrong you've been about me? That’s so much better than what I’m used to from you,” Chandra said. She couldn’t help the smirk on her face and the short sounds of laughter that came out. She wanted to give him nasty looks or dance around him singing like a child, but she felt too good to bother with such pettiness.