I Won't Give Up (11 page)

“You want to come in?”
He asked eagerly.
“I can’t.” I said way too quickly.

“Are you okay? You haven’t said much on the ride home.
I didn’t hurt you did I?
”
He sounded worried.
He was always so sweet it was killing me.
“Cooper last night was amazing,
extraordinary
even but
I think we both
went into it with
alternate
expectations. Mine was that I was hoping it
would help me figure out if I’m ready
to let my heart go again
and honestly I’m
just
not right now and I don’t know if and when I will be.
I’m really sorry.
” I watched as his facial expression changed from happy to looking like I just skinned a puppy.

“Wh
y Fiona? Last night was perfect.
W
hat about this morning? I
t would be so effortless with us. We’re made for each other why can’t you just see that?”
He pleaded.

“I just can’t
.
” I said
as much for him as
myself.
“Please just let me go.”
Reluctantly he did.
I shut the door behind me and pulled out of his driveway watching him standing there, broken
and let the tears flow
.
Everything changed after that night.
All the little things he used to do stopped
, just like that.
I know it’s what I said I wanted but it was hurting me more than I could have ever imagined.

CHAPTER FIVE

Begin Again

Cooper

Coop, dinner tonight @ La Dolce Vita? Please…

Dad

I texted him back.

I’m in but let me check with Fiona maybe she’d come too. 7:00?

I knew this would make him happy.

Perfect :D

I finally felt like Fiona was starting to come around. My dad had been hounding me for the past couple weeks for all of us to go out to dinner, I’d been blowing it off because I thought it would be to
o much but today marked the five
month anniversary of losing my mom and I knew it would be good to go out and be together.

I texted her figuring that I’d just tell her we were going and hope she’d say yes.
I

Hey m
y dad wants to take us out to dinner tonight
(it’s the five month anniversary of losing my mom) It would mean a lot
. Pick you up @ 7?

I felt bad using the guilt card but if it worked I’d be happy.
She responded almost immediately.

Fine. C U @ 7

I couldn’t wait for seven o’clock now. The rest of the day seemed
to drag
on
forever. When school ended I
stopped at the florist and picked up a bouquet of a dozen red roses and a dozen calla lilies since they were her favorite. I
went home
and cleaned up my room before hopping
in the shower. I changed into a pair of jeans that she’d complimented on last week and a black button up shirt. I styled my hair a little nicer than usual and put on my black boots.
By the time my dad got home it was six he changed quickly out of his scrubs before we got in the car and headed to Fiona’s. I could tell he
was just as excited.

“How are things going with you guys?”

“We’re getting there I think. She’s still really apprehensive
and scared
but she’s starting to trust me. She’s special you know.”

“
I can tell.
It reminds me of my pursuit for your mom.” He laughed.
I told him to pull into her driveway.

“She lives here?” He gasped.

“Yeah. It’s um big.”
“Big it’s freaking huge it makes our house look like a bungalow.” I rolled my eyes and laughed at him.

I rang the bell at exactly seven. When she opened the door she literally took my breath away. She looked incredible. I handed her the bouquet. She had on a stunning black dress with a red leather jacket and these cute little ankle boots that made her legs look amazing.
I struggled not to ravish her
on the spot
.

“You look stunning.”
I said kissing her cheek. I saw her blush.
“Thanks for doing this. He’s been insisting for a while and I swear I’ve kept him at bay for as long as I could. It will be painless I promise.”
I knew it would go off fine, my dad was really cool plus he totally understood my pursuit
,
it’s exactly how he went after my mom. She went to go put the flowers in water.
When we got to the car I opened the door for her but since it was a coupe we’d have to sit in the back. I climbed in after her.

“Nice to see you again Mr. Kinl
ey.” She
said.

“Kurt please and you as well Fiona.
Cooper talks about you all the time and I mean all the time
.”
She looked at me and I knew I was guilty all I did was talk about her.

“All good I hope.”

“Of course.”

I reached over and took her hand. I was so happy I felt like I could burst. When we arrived at the restaurant I helped her out of the car and we held hands walking in
. S
he wasn’t trying to pull away like she normally did.

We were seated in a quiet table at the back of the café.
I pulled out her chair for her before sitting down next to her. We ordered our dinners and I took her hand and placed it on my lap interlacing our fingers. She ordered the roasted pepper alfredo with char-grilled chicken it looked really good way better than my chicken parmesan so I took an occasional fork full which made her keep rolling her eyes at me but it made her smile. Hey I’m a growing boy. Fiona and my dad made small talk. I interjected from time to time when the focus turned to embarrassing stories from my childhood.

“Excuse me I’m going to run to the little boys room.”
My dad said
.

“Your dad is really sweet.”

“Like father like son.”
I joked. Then she caught me completely by surprise when she leaned in a kissed me almost like
it was
an automatic thing to do. She pulled away quickly
but the kiss left me wanting more
. I lifted our hands and brushed my fingers over her cheekbone and kissed her lips lightly.
She filled some major void for me.
I loved her.

“Stay with me tonight. We won’t do anything I promise I just need to hold you tonight.”
Please say yes.
I needed to hold her as much as I needed my next breath.

“I don’t have any clothes, plus shouldn’t you ask your dad first?”
She looked a little shocked.

“He didn’t mind the last time you stayed.”
It was a somewhat good memory but would have been a great one if that skank Tabby didn’t come and ruin it making like we had slept together. I’d wondered if we’d already be dating if that hadn’t happened.
The thought pissed me off.

“Just as friends though.”
She said trying to sound firm.

When my dad returned I double-checked our plan with him which he agreed was fine
, she texted her mom who said it was okay with her
. He paid and we climbed back into the back seat heading back to my house.

“Um, do you kids need to make any um…stops before we get back to the house?”
My dad asked. What the hell would we need to stop for?

“For what?”
I
asked confused.

“Um…um… do you need any umbrellas?” He said
clearly embarrassed
.

“Dad what the hell are you talking about?”
Umbrellas? It wasn’t raining.
I
laughed.

“Condoms. Do you need condoms?”
He finally managed to spit out
.
Poor Fiona was mortified. I
bu
st
ed
out laughing.
Oh man embarrassing!

“No dad we don’t do that but thanks for the offer.”
I hoped we would one day.

When we pulled into the garage my dad made a quick escape into the house clearly still embarrassed. Fiona and I went into my room. I unbuttoned my shirt and tossed it onto the bed. I caught Fiona checking me out, my subconscious high fived.
I knew she liked my abs and she kept eyeing the V by my hips, it was there mostly thanks to her frustrating me causing me to hit the gym equipment more than I normally would.
She sauntered over to the bed and picked it up and handed it to me. What was she doing?

“Can you untie me?”
She asked feigning innocence. 

I untied her dress must slower tha
n necessary savoring the moment, I brushed my fingertips softly over her back moving her hair off her shoulders.
It was hot seeing her all laced up like that
,
the dress totally showed off her
sexy
curves.

“Turn around.”
She giggled
.
I stripped out of my jeans and tossed them onto the chair
I wanted to take a peek but didn’t want to seem like a pervert.
S
he tapped
me
lightly
.
“I’m decent.”

I turned around. Holy shit!
“I’d say you’re very indecent, you’re killing me here.”
I prayed she didn’t notice ‘little Cooper’ who was now at full salute. There was just something about her wearing my clothes that totally turned me on
. B
ut if and when something was going to happen it was going to be her choice. I’d wait forever if I had to but I’d hoped it wouldn’t take that long. She pulled me towards my bathroom where she picked up her toothbrush. After she spent the night I’d kept it and put it in the holder next to mine, I liked it there. She looked so hot with her hair curled I walked up behind her and brushed my nose against her hair breathing her in.

“Creep.” She
teased. “Let’s go to bed. I’m exhausted.” 

We got into my bed and I held my arm out for her to come snuggle. She laid her head on my chest and put her leg over my legs and I was hoping she didn’t notice that I’d gotten excited again.
I was totally going to sleep with the pillow
she had her head on from now on
. I wrapped my arm around her pulling her as close as I could get her. It felt like she’d belonged t
here, like she was made for me.
I was definitely going to need a cold shower in the morning

“Hey can I see a picture of your mom?”
She sounded embarrassed.

“Sure.”
I reached into my end table and pulled out the album that she’d made for me when she first found out she was sick. It was a collaboration of all of her favorite photos. She looked over each one intently
, I explained each picture as she flipped through. I enjoyed letting her see a piece of me that I didn’t share
. I was watching her face when I noticed her eyes brim with tears. 

“I’m so sorry Cooper.”

She was so sweet she never thought of herself she always thought of everyone else.

She leaned her head up and kissed me softly.

“Don’t be sad Fiona. Just you being here makes me feel better so thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”
I wrapped her in my arms until s
he closed her eyes and drifted to sleep. I stayed up watching her sleep for a little while before the battle of the heavy lids finally won.

I woke up before her and
took my ice cold shower. I got dressed and headed to the kitchen to make her breakfast in bed, looks like dad had already left for work. I cut up some fruit and made her a bowl of fruit salad and some toast with butter and jelly like my mom used to make for me. I poured us each a cup of coffee before heading back to my room. When she saw me with the tray her whole face lit up. I’d literally sell my soul to see her smile like that everyday.