I Want to Hold Your Hand (41 page)

No matter how slowly she tried to breathe or how hard she tried to think about something else, her brain was fixated on that moment of certainty that had come over her while she watched him race. Sobs shook her body at the thought of losing him, too, and she cried until there were no tears left.

When she heard Nolan knocking frantically on the door she realized she’d fallen asleep. “Hannah! Open up. I don’t have my key.”

Homer howled and yipped with outrage.

“Shh. It’s okay.” She patted him and got up, smoothing her hair as she went to the door and pulled it open.

“Oh God, Hannah.” He still wore the jumpsuit that had patches all over it and his hair was wild as if he’d pulled off the helmet and run for her. “You’ve been crying. I’m so sorry. Skeeter told me you were upset. I’m fine. Look. The car in front of me wrecked, but I’m totally fine.”

Even though he was fine—this time—she felt dead inside from the certainty that someday he wouldn’t be. “I know. I can see that.”

With his hands on her face, he forced her to look up at him. “What are you thinking? Please tell me. Whatever it is, we’ll get through it, but I can’t do a damned thing if you don’t talk to me.”

A sob caught in her throat as tears fell from her eyes. As much as she didn’t want to, she couldn’t help but cry at the thought of losing this wonderful, beautiful man who’d managed to make her fall completely and totally in love with him.

“Don’t cry, honey. I can’t bear it. I won’t race anymore if it upsets you this much.”

Hannah shook her head. “No. Don’t say that. You love it.”

Smiling, he shook his head with disbelief. “I don’t love it anywhere near as much as I love you.”

“I can’t ask you to give up something that’s such a big part of your life.”

“Hannah . . .” He closed the door that had remained open and took her into his arms. “The only thing I couldn’t live without is you. Don’t you know that by now? I was perfectly happy as one of the mechanics for the team, and I’ll be perfectly happy going back to that role if it means you never again look as wrecked as you do right now.”

“I’m a mess. I know.”

“Baby, you’re as gorgeous as ever, but it’s the wrecked look in your eyes that’s killing me.”

“I had this feeling, this utter certainty that you were going to die out there. It was so real and so profound.”

He encouraged her to sit on the bed and knelt in front of her, taking her hands and kissing each one of them. “I’m not going to die, Hannah. I’m going to live to be so old you’ll be wishing I was dead just so you can get rid of me.”

“Never.”

“I’m going to live that long just to prove you wrong, but I won’t race anymore.”

“But what about the team? They’re counting on you—”

He kissed her, keeping his lips pressed against hers until some of the starch left her spine. “Deke is my backup driver. With a little more practice, he’ll be every bit as good as I am.”

“And you won’t hate me someday for forcing you to give up something you loved?”

“You’re not forcing me to do anything. You’re just giving me a chance to prove there’s nothing I wouldn’t do if it means making you happy and giving you peace of mind.” He kissed away the tears on her cheeks before focusing again on her lips. “I understand where all this is coming from, honey. I get it, and I’m only sorry I didn’t anticipate how difficult it would be for you to see me doing something most people consider pretty dangerous.”

“Most sane people.”

That drew a laugh from him. “Stay there for one minute.” Still on his knees, he reached for his duffel bag and pulled it close enough to unzip a side compartment. He withdrew a small black box and turned to her.

“What is that?”

“Hold on a minute.”

“I don’t want to hold on a minute. I want to know what it is.”

Laughing, he leaned his head against her chest and then looked up at her, his heart in his eyes. “I can’t believe I’m actually going to take you on for life with your complete and utter inability to deal with surprises.” He opened the box and placed it on her knee. “Usually, the question comes first and the ring comes second, but in light of your
issues
, we’ll do it your way.”

Hannah gasped at the sight of an exquisite diamond in a vintage setting. She looked at the ring and then at him and then at the ring again. “Where did this come from?”

“It was my grandmother’s. I’ve had it for years waiting for the right woman to come along. For a long time now, I’ve known that the only right one who’d ever come along was you. I had no plans to propose to you in this tacky motel room, but I suppose this won’t be the last time things with you don’t go according to my plan. Hannah, will you marry me and have a family with me and grow so old with me that you’ll get sick of me?”

Once again she couldn’t seem to breathe as she looked down at him.

“You promised me I could count on your answer.”

“Yes,” she said, laughing through her tears. “Yes, I’ll marry you.” She combed her fingers into his hair and brought order to the strands that were in disarray from his helmet. “I never thought I’d have this again. I’d given up on so many things until you came along and showed me I still have my whole life ahead of me.” With her hands on his face, she brought her lips down on his.

“Your love has made me feel like the luckiest guy in the history of the world.” He wrapped his arms around her and lifted her off the bed when he stood and came back down on top of her. “Wait! The ring.” Lifting himself off her long enough to retrieve the box that had fallen on the floor, he removed the ring and slid it onto her left hand. “There. Now, where were we?”

“I was about to ask you how in the hell we get you out of this thing.” She tugged at the jumpsuit impatiently, which made him laugh loud enough to wake Homer, who came to with an indignant howling yip that sounded anything but fierce.

Hannah and Nolan dissolved into laughter, and the overwhelming joy she felt at that moment obliterated the fear from earlier. She’d gotten her second chance, and she planned to enjoy every minute of it.

EPILOGUE

Engaged . . . again. Nolan promised to live long enough to drive me crazy as an old man. I look forward to that and everything else we’ll experience together. On this joyful day I’m also grateful to Caleb for setting me free to love again. I’ll always love him, too, and I’ll never forget the precious time we had together.

—From the diary of Hannah Abbott Guthrie, age thirty-five

L
incoln Abbott had just shut off his computer for the day and was getting up to leave when his father-in-law came hobbling into the office carrying a bottle of champagne and wearing a big smile.

The bottle landed on Lincoln’s desk with a loud thunk. “
Engaged
, my friend! How do ya like them apples? One dead battery and a ring on our girl’s finger!”

“Where’re your crutches?”

“Oh to hell with them! I’m here to celebrate!”

Ringo and George raised their heads from their beds in the corner to see what all the noise was about. Seeing Elmer, they got up to greet one of their favorite friends. As always, he had biscuits in his pockets for both of them.

Amused by Elmer’s effusiveness, Lincoln smiled and shook his head. “I still can’t believe it myself. I take it the lovebirds have been to see you.”

“Indeed they have, and we had one hell of a celebration.” Elmer took a seat in front of Lincoln’s desk. “I can’t tell you what it means to me to see my little girl smiling again from ear to ear. Never thought I’d live to see that.”

“I know what you mean. Molly and I were talking about that last night. Were you surprised they got engaged so quickly?”

“A little, but as they said, they want kids, and they’re not getting any younger. We both know what it’s like to find a perfect fit and not want to wait to get going on a life together.”

“Yes, we do.” Lincoln had taken one look at Molly Stillman and had known almost immediately that she was going to change all his plans.

Elmer leaned forward to pop the cork on the champagne and poured the fizzing bubbly into two coffee cups on Lincoln’s desk. “Hope they’re clean.”

“Just rinsed them out this afternoon.”

Elmer handed one of them to Lincoln. “Two for two,” he said, raising his mug.

Lincoln clinked his mug against Elmer’s. “We’re on a roll.”

“Who’s next?” Elmer asked as he sat back to enjoy the bubbly.

“I’ve been thinking about that. We’ve got quite a list of possibilities to choose from. It’s come to my attention that our oh-so-serious and focused Hunter has his eye on Megan from the diner.”

Elmer’s white brows knit with confusion. “Cranky Megan?”

“The one and only.”

“Hmm, not sure I approve of that match. I’ll have to take a closer look at her before I decide she’s worthy of our Hunter. What else have you got?”

“Max and Chloe could use a little
assistance
in getting their act together before the baby is born.”

“Let’s get him out of college before we go there.”

“Good point. Then there’s Ella.”

Elmer sat up a bit straighter in his chair. “What about her?”

“Did you see the way she was gazing at Gavin Guthrie at Homer’s funeral? If that’s not a girl in a serious crush, then I don’t have ten kids.”

“Well, well, well . . . That’s rather intriguing. Gavin’s a fine fellow. Every bit the man his brother was, and I’d love nothing more than to have another Guthrie in the family.”

“I’m not sure he’s quite
there
yet though. The poor guy has been through hell, and that one will take some finesse. We might want to practice our technique a bit more before we move on to them.”

“You make a good point. We’ve had some significant beginner’s luck with Will and Hannah, and we wouldn’t want to get too big for our britches or anything.”

“God forbid.”

Elmer took a sip of his champagne as he appeared to puzzle over their options. “Where does that leave us?”

Lincoln sat back in his big leather chair and rested his feet on the desktop. “Colton.”

Obviously intrigued, Elmer said, “Do tell.”

“Remember the day Cameron and her friend Lucy pitched the website to us?”

“That was the same day she and Will got back together and ran off into the sunset.”

“Right. Molly and I invited Lucy to dinner, and Colton joined us. The two of them hit it right off, and he offered to see her back to the inn after dinner. Far be it from me to interfere with that kind of spark, so naturally we took him up on the offer. Since then, he’s shaved off the beard he’s had since high school, cut his hair and has dropped his dogs with us for several weekends
away
. He’s never said another word about Lucy since that night, but if you do the math—”

“I can’t believe you’re just telling me this now! We’ve got work to do! Any friend of Cameron’s—”

“—is a friend of ours.”

“You said it! So what’s our plan?”

Lincoln picked up a flyer from his desktop and handed it to Elmer.

Elmer took the paper and scanned it, his face turning bright red as Lincoln fully expected. “What the hell is this?”

“It’s a conference coming up in New York City.”

“I can see that. I’m talking about the . . . the . . .
things
.”

“They’re ‘pleasure aids’ for people of all ages.”

“What in the name of tarnation sakes . . .”

“Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it,” Lincoln said with a smug smile.

“You’d better watch yourself, boy. It’s not too late for me to come fetch my daughter away from you.”

Elmer’s flustered reaction got a laugh out of Lincoln. “I think it might actually be ten kids too late for that.”

“I ain’t too late as long as I’m still drawing a breath.” He tossed the paper back on the desk. “What’s all that got to do with Colton?”

“I’m going to ask him to attend the conference and help me decide if we should offer the product line in the store.”

“You want to bring that . . .
stuff
 . . . into
my
store?”

“Don’t have an apoplexy over it. That
stuff
sells like gangbusters, and we’d be crazy not to at least look into it.”

“I like the idea of sending Colton, but I’m not sold on the product line.”

“I’ll consider that a half victory.”

“You think you’re so smart, don’t you?”

“Whose idea was it to hire Patrick’s daughter to build a website for the store? And look at how that worked out. Have you ever seen Will happier?”

“It was my idea to mess with Hannah’s battery,” Elmer grumbled.

“We’re tied at one a piece. If this works out between Colton and Lucy, that counts in my column because she came through Cameron.”

Elmer rolled his eyes at Lincoln’s logic. “What makes you think Colton will want to go to a
pleasure aid
conference in New York City? What’s that got to do with maple syrup?”

“Not a damned thing. It won’t be about the conference, Elmer. If he snaps up the opportunity, we’ll have our confirmation that Lucy’s the one he’s been running off to see every chance he gets.”