I Want Candy (48 page)

“OK, now you’re starting to scare me. What’s wrong, Sweetheart?” Gabriel asked, reaching over the desk and caressing her hand. Candy slowly pulled away.

“Gabriel, we have to talk,” Candy said, looking down into her palms.

“You’re pregnant, aren’t you?” he asked as he leaned back in his chair and rubbed his forehead nervously. “Well, we haven’t been exactly careful the last few times and…”

“No, no. I’m not pregnant.” Candy gulped and looked down into her sweaty hands that she now was wringing.

“Well, then what is it?” Gabriel asked, his forehead wrinkled with concern.

“Gabriel, this is so hard for me,” Candy sighed as tears slowly ran down her face. “We, we can’t continue.” Gabriel handed Candy a tissue and stood up, shoving one of his hands in his jean pocket.

“What do you mean?” he stuttered. “Did I do something wrong? Tell me, and I’ll try to make it right,” he said, his voice cracking.

“No, you did nothing wrong. I just think…I just think that our relationship isn’t a good idea. We just shouldn’t have done this.” Candy refused to make eye contact.

“Two hours ago you were excited to see me, to spend this evening and Christmas with me. Now you’re doing this again instead? Are you crazy? After all this time, all these months that have passed, all the shit I put up with to show you how much I love you and gain your trust, and you’re still bringing this up? You can’t be serious.” Gabriel shook his head in disbelief.

“I’m serious, Gabriel. I want to remain your friend and…” Candy sobbed.

“Remain my friend? Remain my friend?” Gabriel yelled, punching his desk. “Please tell me this is a joke! This must be a bad dream,” he said as he looked into the palms of his hands before slicking them over his hair.

“I do care for you and love you. It’s for that reason that I’m doing this. If we weren’t – if you weren’t, I mean – my boss, then things may have been different.” Candy choked out the lie. It burned coming out. She doubled over as her heart ripped into shreds with each word she uttered.

“You know,” Gabriel said with a smirk as he calmly sat back down. “You weren’t saying this was a mistake when we were making love. Or maybe to you it was just fucking. When I said I wanted to fuck you, it was a figure of speech, not literal. I see that you meant it the other way around. Was it a mistake before or after the Tiffany jewelry I gave you? Was it a mistake before or after I let you into my life and allowed you to meet the most important person to me. Was it a mistake before…”

“Gabriel! Please stop!” Candy cried out.

“No, I won’t fucking stop! Was it a mistake before or after the weekend in Florida, before or after I told you I was in love with you? When were you so sure it was a damn mistake?” Gabriel rubbed his forehead. The vein in his neck protruded as he continued to yell, the hurt in his eyes multiplying as each second passed. “I’ve been nothing but a game to you, a toy, some kind of experiment! This is some sick ego booster for you, right? Get your boss to trip over himself falling in love with you, then pull the rug right out from under him – on Christmas!” Gabriel looked at the clock. It was a minute after midnight.

“Gabriel, no, it’s not like that at…”

“Just shut up! Don’t say my name. Don’t say another word to me. Gimme my key and get out.” His eyes burned with such intense rage that she couldn’t bear to keep his gaze. She reached into her purse and took out the spare key he had given her, setting it gingerly on the desk.

“Candace, you made a fool of me,” Gabriel said evenly. “You’ve taken my heart and stomped on it. You’ll never hear from me again. Don’t worry about any professional repercussions. We’ll be strictly business, and I’ll have as little contact with you as possible. Matter of fact, I’ll assign a new reporting manager to you after the holidays. I’m not going to beg you to reconsider again. At this point, the fact that you’d erase what we had like this, after all we’ve created together, shows me that you’re soulless, confused, and selfish. The fact that you could do this to me, the only man besides your father who ever gave a damn about you, proves to me that you really don’t want a good man at all. You want trash. You look for excuses to run from real love back into the arms of bullshit. Maybe if I was cheating on you and lying to you you’d feel more comfortable with me. Maybe if my skin was darker, hmmm? Oh, I know!” Gabriel smiled, his eyes wild with pain. “If I was hitting you, getting drunk and high, or pushing you down some stairs causing you to lose your baby, you’d want me then!”

Candy leapt up from her chair. “How dare you! That’s not fair! How could you say something like that to me?”

“Don’t talk to me about fair, Ms. Benet! What’s not fair is you walking into my home, keeping me waiting for three hours just to drop this bombshell. You could’ve unloaded this shit on me days ago, better yet, months ago! Instead, you let me do all of this planning tonight, inviting my family over tomorrow so you can meet them, doing all this shit for you, only for you to put the final nail in your coffin of games. You played me. You lied to me. You used me. Get the fuck out of my house.” Gabriel looked away from her in disgust and waved his hand.

Candy’s tears felt hot against her face. The world became surreal right before her eyes. She turned to walk away, then hesitated. Her back still towards him, she quietly said as she sobbed, “I’m sorry.”

Gabriel listened as she exited the front door. He stood up and turned off the CD player which echoed throughout the house. He sat back in his chair, folding his hands together. After a few minutes of contemplative silence, he reached into his desk drawer and pulled out a small, black velvet box. Opening it slowly, he looked down at the five-carat princess-cut diamond engagement ring. A small tear formed in his left eye. He quickly wiped it away.

“I had a solution to our little problem, my sweet Candy. I wanted to make you my wife. I love you so much, I wanted to do it the right way, the way you’d want it done. I wanted you to never be afraid to trust again. Little did I know, you were the one who couldn’t be trusted.
I
was the one who needed protection.” He took the ring out of the box and examined it closely before returning it. He tossed the box in the bottom drawer of his desk and ran his fingers slowly through his hair. He stayed that way until sunrise before walking up to his bedroom and slowly locking the door behind him.

BLACK(MAIL)BERRY PANCAKES

2 cups flour

1/2 cup blackberries

1 person gone crazy

2 eyes

A boss and an employee in a loving embrace

Leave raw and hold over one’s head until the perfect time is right.

Cooked to perfection

* * *

CHAPTER 16

“What the hell’s goin’ on over here?” Jasmine walked inside Candy’s house and covered her nose. “Girl, when was the last time you took your trash out?” She cautiously walked further into the kitchen and took notice of dishes piled in the sink, three pizza boxes with only remnants of old sauce and thin crusts, empty two-liter bottles, and cookie wrappers lying around.

“I’ve been tryin’ to get a hold of you for over three days, and you kept tellin’ me you were busy. I didn’t even hear from you on Christmas. That’s never happened before. You look horrible and so does your house! What’s goin’ on here?”

“I’m not feelin’ well,” Candy said as she blew into a tissue. “I have a cold.”

“Bull. I can see you’ve been cryin’. Your eyes look like Red Hots. Now spill it!”

Candy looked up at Jasmine from her living room couch. “Gabriel and I broke up.” She quickly turned away, hating to even utter the words that she tried to pretend weren’t true.

“Oh, no,” Jasmine said softly as she approached Candy. She sat next to her and caressed her hair. “I’m sorry, Baby. What happened?”

“I realized our relationship wasn’t a good idea. It hurt me because I love him, but I knew it just wasn’t gonna work. Nothin’ good could come of it.” Candy didn’t want anyone to know the truth. She realized she had to handle this problem on her own.

Jasmine looked at Candy closely then shook her head. “You’re a damn fool. You let that man go because of
that
? I swear your settings are on self-destruct. You knew who the hell he was eons ago! That bridge was already crossed.”

“Stop badgering me! It was for the best, OK.”

“Then why are you cryin’? Do you know how many women would kill to have half of a man like that? A man with just half of the qualities Gabriel has? No guy’s perfect, but damn it, he’s pretty close, and he’s crazy about you!” Jasmine grabbed her purse to leave. “I wish a man felt that way about me! Candy, I can’t even look at you right now. I know we’re best friends, but with the shit I just went through with ol’ boy, I really want to slap the shit out of you right now. I can’t get a good man to save my life. I’m at home thinkin’ someone shot you or you’re deathly ill. Come to find out, you’re all in shambles over some shit that
you
did! I’ll talk to you later. Right now I can’t even deal with your self-imposed drama.” Candy jumped as she heard her front door slam.

She lie there on her couch for the rest of the night. She replayed the fight she and Gabriel had several days earlier. The tears came once more. She knew she’d never forget the look in his eyes. The sudden hatred he had for her, the pain. She could feel his energy enter her body and stab her like small daggers in the heart. He stuck to his word. He hadn’t bothered to call or contact her in any way. Early the next morning, she took a look at herself and her house and began to clean until the entire place smelled of bleach. She stood on the scale and shook her head in disbelief. “I gained all of this in just a few days?” She could not believe that her weight had increased by twelve pounds. She took the trash out then returned inside to see a voicemail alert on her home phone. She listened.

“Hi, Sweetness, this is Quentin. I think it’s wonderful that you took my suggestion and ended that situation with Mr. Justice. I even gave you a few more hours out of the kindness of my heart just in case you dragged your feet a little. Now, tonight’s New Year’s Eve, so I’m plannin’ on pickin’ you up for a night on the town at 9:00. As you’ve guessed, I’m back in town. Dress to impress, Baby. I can’t wait to see you.”

Candy rubbed her stomach. She felt queasy. She walked slowly towards the bathroom, rubbing her temples. A migraine of serious magnitude was brewing, adding to the bodily pain she was experiencing. She suddenly found herself purging involuntarily. Her stomach ached and cramped. The taste of chicken wings, devoured hours ago, coated her tongue. She patted her head with the back of her hand and closed her eyes. She stood up and brushed her teeth, then reluctantly looked through her closet. She selected a drab, chocolate brown and tan striped pant suit. Pinning her hair up carelessly, she looked herself over, then slumped back down onto the couch. Whenever she got ready to see Gabriel, she would run around making sure she had the perfect accessories and hairdo for each outfit. She missed getting dressed for him already. She fell asleep soundly, her head pushed firmly into the oversized pillow. She was suddenly startled by the doorbell. She yawned, stretched, and walked to it, opening it up without looking to see who it was before turning her back.

“This is the best you could do?” Quentin asked as he looked her up and down. “You’re tryin’ my patience. You’re gonna have to do better than this later, but for now, just come on. I don’t wanna to be late,” he said as he forced his hand into hers and walked her to his parked rental car. He drove her to the Cincinnatian Hotel. Candy looked around feverishly, rubbing her fingers together as she bit the corner of her full, bottom lip. “I’m not goin’ in there,” she said solemnly.

“Relax. There’s a nice restaurant inside,” Quentin explained. “We’ve got dinner reservations. Look, I know this is upsettin’ for you, but I know it’ll work. Just give it time,” he said as he got out of the car. He opened the passenger’s side, allowing Candy to step out. Taking her by the hand, he ushered her inside. They were immediately seated. The lavish restaurant was decked out in silver and red cloths and linens. Long-stem, fluted wine glasses were on every table. The gangly waiter walked to their table gracefully.