Read I spit on your graves Online
Authors: 1920-1959 Boris Vian
Tags: #Racism, #Revenge, #Women, #Murder, #African Americans
"I wrote down there," she said. "I saw an address in the ads, they said it's a rather deserted place, for people who like to be alone, for newly weds who want to have privacy for their honeymoon."
"If all the newlyweds who want to be alone went down there," I muttered, "It ought to look like Union Station."
She laughed. She looked relieved. She wasn't the kind that could keep a secret.
"They answered my letter," she said.
-133-
Boris Vian
"We'll have a separate cabin to sleep in, and we'll eat at the hotel itself."
"The best thing you could do is to go as soon as you can, and I'll come later. That way I'll be able to finish everything."
"I'd rather go with you."
"Can't do it. You better go home and don't pack your things till the last minute so as not to arouse suspicion. You won't have to take many things along. And don't leave any note telling where you're going. Your parents don't have to know."
"When will you come?"
"Next Monday. I'll leave Sunday night."
If I left Sunday night it wouldn't be noticed. But I still had to arrange about Lou.
"Of course," I added, "you've told your sister about it."
"Not yet."
"She must suspect something. Anyhow I think it's a good idea to let her know. She can act as go-between. You understand each other, don't you?"
"Yes."
"Then tell her, but not till the day you leave. Leave her your address, but in such a way that she won't know until after you've gone."
"How can I do that?"
-134-
I Spit on Your Graves
"You can put it in an envelope and mail it after you're a couple of hundred miles away from home. Or you can leave it in her room. There are lots of ways."
"I don't like all these complications. Oh, Lee, can't we just go away, the two of us, telling everybody that we just want to be alone."
"I can't do that," I said. "Maybe you can, but I haven't got any money."
"It makes no difference to me."
"Take a look at yourself," I said. "You can say that now because you have money."
"I don't dare tell Lou about it. She's only fifteen."
I laughed.
"Do you think she's just a baby in dia- . pers? You ought to know that in a family where there are several sisters, the youngest learns everything at about the same time as the oldest. If you had a little sister ten years old, she'd know as much as Lou."
"But Lou is just a kid."
"Sure, sure. All you've got to see is the way she dresses. And the perfumes she uses show how innocent she is. I say you've got to tell Lou. You've got to have somebody to be able to keep in touch with your parents indirectly."
-135-
Boris Vian
"I'd rather nobody knew about it."
I laughed sarcastically.
"You're not so proud of the guy you hooked, eh?"
Her mouth began to tremble and I thought she was going to cry. She got up.
"Why are you so mean to me? Does it give you pleasure to hurt me? I don't want anybody to know because I'm afraid."
"Afraid of what?"
"Afraid you'd leave me before we got married."
I shrugged.
"Do you think being married would stop me if I wanted to leave you."
"If we had a baby it would."
"If we had a baby I wouldn't be able to get a divorce so easy, that's all. But that wouldn't stop me from leaving you if I felt that way."
She finally broke into tears. She fell back into her chair and lowered her head, and the tears rolled down her cheeks. I saw that I was going a bit too fast, so I went over to her. I put my hand on the back of her neck and caressed it softly.
"Oh, Lee!" she cried, "Everything is so different from what I expected it to be. I thought you'd be happy to have me all for
-136-
I Spit on Your Graves
yourself."
I said something silly, and then she began to vomit. I didn't have anything around and I had to run to the back room to get a rag that the cleaning woman used to dust the place with. I wondered if it was the baby that made her sick. When she'd stopped heaving, I wiped her face with her handkerchief. Her eyes were clear and shiny with tears, and she breathed with difficulty. She'd gotten her shoes dirty, and I wiped them with a piece of paper. The smell bothered me, but I bent over her and kissed her. She crushed me to her and poured out a torrent of words of endearment. I had never had any luck with her. Always sick, either from having drunk too much or screwed too much.
"You'd better leave," I said. "Go home. Take care of yourself. Then, get your things together and take off. I'll come to you next Monday. I've already got the ring."
This surprise cheered her up again, and she smiled incredulously.
"Lee, do you mean it?"
"Of course I do."
"Oh, Lee, I'm crazy about you. I know we're going to be very happy."
She didn't have a trace of bitterness. Most girls aren't that easy. 1 stood her up and
-137-
Boris Vian
caressed her breasts through her dress. She became tense and arched herself. She wanted me to keep it up. I wanted to air out the place, but she held me tight and with one handun-buttoned my pants. I lifted her dress and put her on the long counter where my customers left the books they'd looked at. She closed her eyes and looked dead. When I felt her relax I kept it up until she began to moan. I went off on her dress, and then she sat up suddenly lifting her hand to her mouth, and vomited again.
And then I put her on her feet again and buttoned her coat. I carried her almost up to her car, going through the store's side entrance and I set her down behind the wheel. She looked deathly sick, but she still had strength enough to bite my lower lip till the blood came. I didn't complain. I then watched her drive off. I think her car knew the road, and it was lucky for her.
Right after that I went upstairs to my room and took a bath to get rid of the smell.
-138-
I Spit on Your Graves
XVII
Until that minute I hadn't thought of all the complications my plan to kill both of the girls would bring about. For a moment I felt like dropping the whole business and go on just selling my books and earning a good living. But I had to do something for the kid, and for Tom, and for my own sake too. I know some men more or less like me who try to forget their blood and who go over to the side of the whites for all purposes, not even having the decency to refrain from knocking the colored race when the occasion demands it. I could kill men like that with a lot of pleasure, but I had to do things in the proper order.
First the Asquith girls. I'd had plenty of chances to knock off the others : the kids I fooled around with, Judy, Jicky, Bill and Betty, but they didn't interest me too much. They weren't important enough. The Asquiths would be my first test-case. Then after I'd gotten that over with, I thought I'd go after something really big. Maybe a senator, or something like that. I'd have to have plenty to keep myself calm. But I had to think things over a little about how I'd get away with it, once I had those two dead females on my hands.
-139-
Boris Vian
The best thing to do would be to make it look like an auto accident. People would wonder what they were doing all the way down there near the border, but they'd stop wondering after the autopsy, when they'd find out that Jean was pregnant. Lou they'd figure, had just gone along with her sister. And me, I wouldn't be anywhere around. Except that when the whole business was over, I expected to let their parents in on it. They'd know that their darling daughter had got it from a "nigger." Then I would have to find a new stamping grounds and start in all over again. A crazy plan, but the craziest are the ones that usually work out, I was sure that Lou could be made to come down there with us. I had a lot of power over her. Then an auto ride with her sister. Jean driving, and then a fainting-spell. What could be more natural? I'd have plenty of time to jump out. I shouldn't have any trouble finding a spot where it would work out in the kind of country we were going to. Lou'd be up front with her sister, and me in back. Lou first, and if Jean saw it and let go the wheel, that's all I'd need.
Except that I wasn't too enthusiastic about this auto business. First of all, it's an old gag. And besides, it would be too quick. I wanted to have time to tell them why, and I
-140-
I Spit on Your Graves
wanted them to know I had them, to know in advance what was coming to them.
The auto.. .I'd leave that for later, to finish up with. I thought I had it. First take them to a quiet spot. There give them the dope, and then let them have it. Then put them back in the car and stage the accident. Just as easy and a lot more satisfactory to me. I wondered if it would be so easy.
I still thought a lot about it. I began to get nervous. Once I was going to throw the whole business out the window and decided it wouldn't come off the way I expected it to, and then I remembered the kid. And I remebered my last conversation with Lou. I'd begun to prepare the ground with her, and that made it more definite. It was worth running the risk. If I could, I'd use the car. If not, so what. The border wouldn't be too far away and they don't kill you for that in Mexico. I think I must have had that plan in my head all the time, more or less vaguely, and I was just now beginning to realize what I wanted to work out.
I drank a lot of whiskey those days. My brain was in a fury. I got some other tools besides the bullets. I bought a pick and a shovel and some rope. I still didn't know I'd be able to work it out the way I'd just figured
-141-
Boris Vian
it. If yes I'd need the bullets. If no, then the other things would be useful. Then too, the pick and shovel gave me a sense of security with respect to another little idea that had crossed my mind. I think that anybody who intends to commit a crime is wrong if he figures out all the details in advance. I think you've always got to trust to luck. But you've got to have the necessary tools on hand when luck strikes. I don't know if I was wrong not to figure it out exactly, but when I thought over all I'd heard about such auto accidents, the idea appealed to me less and less. I hadn't considered one important factor : that of time. I'd have plenty of time and didn't worry too much about that. Nobody'd know where we were going and I thought Lou wouldn't tell anybody, if our last conversation had had any effect on her. I'd know that as soon as I got there.
And then, at the very last minute, about an hour before I was about to start, a sort of fright came over me, and I began to wonder if I'd find Lou when I got there. That was the most horrible moment I've ever lived through. I sat at the table and drank. I don't know how many drinks, but my brain remained as clear as though Ricardo's stuff had been changed into rainwater. I also saw very clearly just
-142-
I Spit on Your Graves
what I had to do, as clearly as I'd seen Tom's face when the gas-can had blown up in the kitchen. I went down to the drug-store and got in to the phone booth. I dialed the operator and asked for long distance and then for Prixville and got through right away. The chamber-maid told me Lou would be there in a second, - there she was.
"Hello," she said.
"This is Lee Anderson. How are you?"
"What's the matter?"
"Jean gone away, hasn't she?"
"Yes."
"You know where she went?"
"Yes."
"She told you?"
I heard her laugh bitterly. "She put a pencil mark around the ad for the place in the newspaper."
Lou wasn't a dumb one. I suspected she knew all about it from the beginning.
"I'm coming to get you," I said.
"You're not going to go after her?"
"Yes, but with you."
"I don't want to go."
"You know perfectly well you're going.'
She said nothing so I went on.
"It'll be a lot easier if I take you away."
"But why go after her?"
-143-
Boris Vian
"After all we've got to tell her."
"Tell her what?"
It was my turn to laugh.
"I'll remind you of that while we're riding. Now get your things ready and come along.
"Where should I wait for you."
"I'm just leaving. I'll be there in a couple of hours."
"With your car?"
"Yes. Wait in your room. I'll honk three times."
"I'll see."
"I'll be right over."
I didn't wait for her to answer, and hung up. I pulled out my handkerchief to wipe my forehead. I got out of the booth. The operator called me back for overtime. I paid and went back upstairs. I'd already put my stuff in the car, and had my money on me. I'd written a letter to the main office explaining that I had to leave suddenly to see a sick brother. Tom would forgive me that. I don't know what I expected to do with that bookstore job. It didn't worry me too much. I wasn't cutting anything much off from me. Until then I'd always been able to live without any trouble, and I'd never felt insecure in any way at all, but this business was beginning to get me
-144-
I Spit on Your Graves
wrought up and things weren't going as well as usual. I wished I was already down there to straighten out everything and get something else to do. I can't stand being in the middle of a job, and it was the same with this business. I looked around to make sure I hadn't forgotten anything. I picked up my hat, went out and locked the door. I kept the key. My car was waiting for me a block away. I turned the ignition and took off. As soon as I was out of town, I stepped hard on the gas and let her ride.
-145-
Boris Vian
XVIII
It was damn dark on the highway, and I was glad there wasn't too much traffic. Mostly trucks, going the other way. Nobody much going my way. I let her rip. The motor roared like a tractor and the thermometer was way up around two hundred, but I pushed her all the same and she stood up.
I just wanted to calm down. After about an hour of that racket I felt better and I slowed down to the point where I could hear some of the other noises of the chassis.