I Saw Your Profile (7 page)

             
Chapter Seven

enny’s
cologne lingered on Arianna’s dress. The scent
turned her on even though its owner turned her off.

She stepped in her bedroom
shower and got the water as hot as she could stand. She poured a glob of body
wash onto a sponge and scrubbed herself from head to toe.

 
    
The steam enhanced the
scent of the soapy liquid. She inhaled deeply, allowing the aroma to travel
through her body and soothe each muscle on its way down.

    
She washed and
conditioned her hair. As the conditioner set, she pulled the shower nozzle from
its perch, leaned against the wall and opened her legs.

 
    
The water tickled her
spot. She closed her eyes and imagined it was Michael’s tongue. She moaned.

 
    
She slid to the floor
and put one leg on the wall and the other on the shower door, a position that
allowed her to feel the full force of the water pressure.
  

    
Her body jerked up and
down and side-to-side like she was having an epileptic seizure. Afterwards, she
snatched the tongue away and lay there until her breathing returned to normal.

 
    
She opened her eyes,
stood up and leaned against the wall while she got her bearings. She returned
the showerhead to its home and rinsed the conditioner from her hair. For the
first time that day, she was completely relaxed.

    
Then the date started
replaying in her head. Suddenly no amount of aromatherapy could protect her
from the image of an obese Kenny.

    
In all that time, it
never occurred to him to say, ‘By the way, if you’re not into Budda bruthas I
ain’t the one.’

    
For a moment, laughter
replaced anger as she grabbed a jar of homemade sugar scrub and exfoliated her
skin. As she stepped out of the shower, her laughter turned to guilt. Should
his looks really matter that much?

    
Wrapped in a towel,
Arianna went to the kitchen and made a cup of peppermint tea. She took it to
her bedroom where she slipped into a black, silk nightshirt and grabbed the
Pearl Cleage novel her book club was reading. She lit a jasmine incense stick
before sliding under the covers.

    
She tried to read, but
Pearl couldn’t take her mind off Kenny.

   
What did she have to feel
guilty about? She couldn’t help whom she was attracted to.

    
She wasn’t just mad at
him, but at herself, too. She wasn’t usually one to hold her tongue.

    
Why
didn’t I tell him the truth? I was so worried about sparing his feelings; I let
him get away with lying to me.

    
She yanked off the
covers and went downstairs to her office, turned on the computer and logged
onto her email account.

    
Her inbox contained
mostly junk and a few shout-outs from guys at LoveMeBlack.com, but Kenny
Washington had all of her attention. She clicked the mouse to compose an email.

Kenny,

 
I wanted to tell you this at dinner, but
I didn’t want to come off as rude or insensitive. The fact is I don’t want to
be more than friends with you because I am not attracted to overweight men. You
lied to me and I don’t appreciate it. You had many opportunities to tell me
about your weight and you never did. The pictures that you sent gave no
indication of what you look like
today
.
I don’t know where we go from here, but I had to get this off my chest.

Arianna

    
She hit the send
button and went back to bed where sleep fell on her like a magic spell.

    
The cordless phone on
the nightstand shrieked, tearing Arianna away from the nameless, faceless lover
in her dream.

    
“Shit! Who the hell is
calling me this time of night?”

    
Once she was shocked
back to reality, the details of the dream escaped her. It annoyed the hell out
of her when she couldn’t remember her dreams. The vague memory would haunt her
all day like a melody that gets stuck in your head, but the words remain
elusive.

   
 
She snatched the receiver from its
cradle.

 
    
“Hello!” Bass notes
drowned all traces of femininity from her waking voice.

    
“Uh – is Arianna
there?”

    
“Who is this?”

    
“Arianna? I thought
you were a dude. It didn’t sound like you. This is Kenny.”

    
“What time is it?”

    
“It’s about quarter
after two. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

 
    
“If you didn’t want to
wake me up why are you calling me so late?”

 
    
“I just got your
email.”

 
    
“And?”

 
    
“And I wanted to talk
about it.”

 
    
“It couldn’t wait ‘til
tomorrow?”

 
    
“No. I wanted to talk
about it now. I can’t believe what you said.”

 
 
“Look, Kenny, I am not about to have this conversation with you this
late at night. I’m going back to sleep. If you want to talk about this when the
sun comes up, call me back. Goodnight.”

    
She slammed down the
phone before he had a chance to respond. This time, she didn’t give a damn
about his feelings.

    
The shrill sound of
someone wanting to communicate yanked her from dreamland again at seven.

    
The caller ID told her
it was her mad friend from Delaware.

    
“What’s up Kenny?”

    
“Hey, I’m sorry about
calling so late, but I was really upset.”

    
“Well, now you’re
calling earlier than I like to answer the phone, but go ahead, I’ll let you get
this off your chest.”

    
“Did I really turn you
off that much?”

    
“I didn’t say you
turned me off, Kenny. I said I’m not attracted to overweight men. And you
weren’t honest about it. That’s what really pisses me off.”

    
“I thought I told you
that I gained a few pounds?”

    
“No, you didn’t. And
we’re not talking about a few pounds. You are much bigger in person than you
were in those pictures you emailed me.”

    
“Is it really that
serious? I’m the same guy with the same personality you’ve been spending hours
with on the phone. Does the weight make that much difference?”

    
“Kenny, we’ve been
communicating for three months. You know I’m into health and fitness. I work
out every day. And I watch what I eat. I told you all that. Now, you told me
that you didn’t work out, but you damn sure didn’t tell me you had a weight
problem and the pictures you sent didn’t tell me that either. So basically, you
lied.”

    
“I didn’t lie.”

    
“Whatever. You
deceived me. Call it what you want. The sin of omission versus the sin of
commission.”

    
“Why are you being so
damn superficial?”

    
“Don’t turn this
around on me. I’m not superficial. I can’t help who I’m attracted to. Don’t
take this the wrong way, but I want to be the only person in the relationship
with breasts. My thirty-six double Ds should be enough for the both of us. ”

    
   
Kenny laughed. “They’re that
big, huh?”

   
“Let’s keep it real. Most
men don’t want to date fat women or women with flat chests or flat butts. There
is some physical quality a woman must have before they will date her. And you
 
probably have one too. If I were ugly or
fat, would you have responded to my profile? Be honest.”

  
“Probably not. I don’t know.

  
“Probably? Come on, Kenny. You know
damn well if I were the one weighing over two hundred pounds you would have
kept going right past me to the next profile. You men kill me. It’s okay for
you to have your preferences, but when a sista is choosy, she’s either stuck up
or a gold digger.”

  
“All right, you made your point.
Tell you what, since you are the queen of fitness, how about you work with me
to help me get fit, too?”

   
“As friends?”

   
 
“Yeah.”

    
“You’ve got a deal.”

     
Arianna smiled.
She was relieved to unload those feelings, and since she had enjoyed Kenny’s
company, she was glad they would be spending more time together.
 

    
The drama with Kenny
made Arianna nervous about seeing in person anyone else she met online. Most of
her friends and family thought her experience was funny and didn’t hesitate to
share their opinion.

    
Her cousin thought
talking online was okay, but actually meeting someone was too dangerous. Her
sister-in-law knew two women who met their husbands online and suggested she
keep trying.

    
She toyed with the
idea of calling her mother, but the thought disappeared quickly. Though Arianna
wished she had the kind of mother she could confide in, Blanche Singleton was
another reason she had escaped Connecticut.

She was saved, sanctified,
filled with the precious Holy Ghost and a mighty burning fire, which gave her
the right to be judgmental and bossy.

    
Arianna figured her
mother hadn’t been laid since her father walked out on her thirty years ago.
The only thing she’d tell Arianna to do was keep her legs closed and wait on
God for another husband.
 

    
Plus, her mother knew
zip about the Internet.

     
She decided to
skip Missionary Singleton’s sermon, and instead called Kevin, a friend she’d
known since elementary school, for a man’s opinion.

    
“It makes it hard for
sistas to separate the wheat from the chaff,” Kevin said.

    
“Meaning?”

    
“Approaching a woman
in person takes guts. You always risk rejection,” he said. “It doesn’t take any
balls to send a stranger an email. And behind a computer screen you can be
anybody you want to be.”

    
“I guess you’re right.
That must’ve been the deal with Kenny. As long as nobody knows you’re fat, they
can’t reject you for it. But, I still don’t get the lying. If you tell somebody
you weigh one-ninety and you really weigh two-ninety, they’ll find out when you
meet.”

    
“Who knows why people
do what they do,” Kevin said. “Maybe they figure they’ll never actually meet
anybody. Or maybe they think they can get you to fall in love and when you do
meet, you’ll be so emotionally involved you’ll just forget that he’s a midget
or his dick is only four inches.”

    
“Believe me Kevin,
four inches is something most women would
not
overlook.”

   
 
“That’s why every man online will tell
you he has a ten-inch dick and that means there are a whole lot of liars
online. You need to leave that mess alone. Did you find a church yet? Maybe you
can meet somebody there.”

   
When they were young, Kevin
and Arianna’s families went to the same church. He still went every Sunday,
faithfully.

    
“No. I haven’t found a
church yet, but I haven’t exactly been looking. I told you before I’m sick of
the dogma. Besides, you know damn well there ain’t no men in church. And the
few that do go are always in the pulpit trying to lead when most of them need
somebody to show their asses the way.”

    
“We’re not going there
again. I told you what I think. You need to leave them Internet niggas alone.”