I Saw Your Profile (20 page)

“I care
about her.”

“In other words, ‘no.’ But you’re
willing to marry her?”

“There are many reasons to marry.
Love isn’t always one of them.”

 
Janelle jumped up from the couch, tears
streaming down her cheek.

“Turn it
off!”

Arianna felt like she’d
committed a crime.

“I’m sorry. But you needed
to know the truth and that’s not the worst.”

Janelle was trembling. “What
else could there be?”

Vanessa
walked over to her and blurted it out.

“The
nigga’s already married that’s what. The muthafucka was gonna marry you knowin
he already had a wife. Some woman in Indiana.”

Arianna
got off the couch and handed her the marriage certificate.

“He
wanted citizenship and he paid her. She kicked him out when she found out he
was sleeping with her daughter, but they never got a divorce.”

Janelle
wobbled, nearly fainting. She dropped the document to the floor. Vanessa caught
her by the arm and steadied her.

“Damn
girl!” Vanessa said. “Sit down. I know this is a lot to hear, but that man
ain’t worth you hittin the floor over.”

Arianna
and Vanessa helped her to the couch.

Vanessa
turned to Arianna. “Can you go get a washrag from the bathroom and wet it,
please?”

Arianna
found the bathroom and came back with the rag. She noticed Nicole had left the
room.

She
handed Vanessa the cloth. “Where’s Nicole?”

“She
went to get her some water.”

Janelle
was sobbing and shaking uncontrollably. Vanessa gently dabbed her forehead and
washed away her tears, as she gently rubbed her back.

“I can’t
believe this. Why would he do this to me? Especially now,” Janelle whimpered.

“What do
you mean, now?” Vanessa said. “He’s been playin you for a long time.”

“Nothing,”
Janelle said.

Nicole
came in with the water and handed it to Janelle.

She set
it on the table without taking a sip.

“Drink
the water,” Vanessa said. “It’ll help with your nerves.”

“No it
won’t,” said Janelle. “Nothing will.”

“You
been actin strange all week,” Vanessa said. “Complainin about your stomach
hurtin. You didn’t go to work for a coupla days. Is somethin else goin on?”

“No. I
just need to figure out what to do. I’m fine,” Janelle said.

 
“What the hell is there to figure out?”
Vanessa snapped. “Kick his ass to the curb. Period.”

“I know.
I’m talking about the rest of my life,” Janelle sighed.

“You’ll
get over him and move on,” Arianna said. “That’s what we do. When my son’s
father left, I picked up the pieces and kept going because I had to. When my
husband died, I did the same thing.”

“I
changed the locks on my house and got a restraining order,” Nicole said. “You
might want to think about doing the same thing.”

Janelle
picked up the glass of water and took a sip.

“I wish
it were that easy to erase him from my life.”

“Is
there anything we can do?” Nicole asked.

“You
already did it,” Janelle said.

“Be
happy you woke up before you got in too deep with that son of a bitch. Before
he got deeper in your heart and your pocket,” Vanessa said.

Arianna
put the camcorder back in the bag.

“I think
we should go now. Janelle, I wish we had met under better circumstances and I
hope you feel better.”

“I’m
really sorry Chauncey hurt you so badly,” added Nicole.

Janelle
muttered under her breath. “You have no idea how much.”

“Thanks
for coming down here,” Janelle said aloud. “I appreciate it. I have to go home
now and kick my so-called fiancé out of my house.”

“I’ll go
with you,” Vanessa said, grabbing their purses.

The four
of them walked out the door together.

Chapter Twenty-Five

“It’s
a Life, Not a Choice! Abortion Is Murder!” Angry
protestors were chanting loudly and holding graphic signs designed to scare
women from going inside the clinic.

Janelle
stared out the passenger side window, fighting back tears as Arianna steered
the car into the parking lot.

“Ignore
these ignorant people, Janelle,” Arianna said. “Not one of them would adopt your
babies if you went through with this pregnancy. This is about your life, not
theirs.”

 
Janelle never told Vanessa about her
pregnancy. Shame and embarrassment tied her tongue, and she knew Vanessa’s
words would be harsh.

On the
other hand, she was impressed by the way Arianna and Nicole had gone out of
their way to warn her about Chauncey. After she’d kicked him out, she found
herself calling the two of them often.

Somehow
it was easier to talk to strangers, and she soon confided in them that she was
pregnant.

Janelle
had made up her mind to terminate the pregnancy, but after discovering Chauncey
was a bigamist, she felt she didn’t have the emotional energy to go through
with the procedure.

Arianna
told her to do what she felt was right, but warned her if she waited any
longer, the decision would be made for her.

Janelle
was relieved when she and Nicole agreed to accompany her.

Arianna
quickly found a parking spot, but Janelle couldn’t move. She covered her
stomach with her hands and inhaled so deep, the air went to her toes. When she
exhaled, the tears gushed from her eyes as though a dam had burst.

Nicole,
who was sitting in the back, unbuckled her seat belt, scooted forward and put
her hand on Janelle’s shoulder.

“It’s
going to be okay, sweetie.”

Already
mourning the life inside her, Janelle was too overwhelmed with sorrow to
respond.

Arianna
got out and walked to the passenger side and opened Janelle’s door.

“You’re
going to be late for your appointment,” she said, extending her hand.

Janelle
put her hand in Arianna’s and reluctantly allowed herself to be pulled from the
seat.

It was
ninety-two degrees in Richmond and the sun was blistering. But Janelle was
shivering underneath her navy cotton sweat suit.

Nicole
took her other hand after exiting the car and the two of them escorted her to
the door.

At the
entrance, a sweaty, middle-aged white man with long, straggly hair greeted
them. “Baby Killers!” he shouted.

Janelle
cowered.

Arianna
stepped in front of Janelle.

“Shut
the fuck up and get out of our faces, asshole. For all you know we’re coming
here for a checkup. You ignorant people get on my damn nerves.”

       
The
man scurried away.

Janelle,
Arianna and Nicole waited for the doctor to arrive inside a cold cubicle along
a narrow hallway.

There were
at least a half dozen women in the other cubicles lined up next to Janelle’s,
each of
them also waiting to have an
abortion.

A nurse
soon appeared, taking Janelle’s blood pressure and temperature while Arianna
and Nicole waited outside. Afterwards, the nurse gave her a flimsy johnny and
let her friends back inside.

“How ya
doing, Miss Carter?” Arianna asked her.

Janelle
was shivering again. The clinic air conditioner was set to arctic.

“This
thing is the size of one of those slabs morticians keep dead bodies on,”
Janelle said through chattering teeth as she fidgeted on the skinny cot.

Her
voice was barely above a whisper, but her despair echoed through the
closet-sized room.

“I’ve
been praying for you and I know everything is going to be fine,” Nicole said.

Nicole
had tried to talk Janelle out of the procedure with the
children are a gift
from God
speech, but Janelle already had two grown gifts from God and she
didn’t want two more. Especially, if she was going to have to raise them alone.

 
“I’m not big into prayer these days, but
thanks anyway. I really appreciate you guys coming here to be with me. Could
you hand me that blanket, please, Arianna? I’m freezing.”

Arianna
opened a thin, blue blanket at the foot of the cot and spread it over her.

The nurse
came back in the room. “Dr. Walker will be in shortly, Miss Carter.”

Arianna
turned to the nurse. “Can you give her something else to wear? She’s really
cold.”

“I’m
sorry, that’s all we have, ma’am. I can give her another blanket, though.”

 
“I’m sure that’ll help, thanks,” Arianna
said.

Janelle’s
doctor came in.

“Good
morning, Mrs. Carter. How are you feeling today?” Dr. Walker said.

 
“Tired and cold,” Janelle said. “How are
you, Dr. Walker?”

“I’ll
try and get this over with as fast as I can. Slide down to the end of the
table.”

Janelle
grabbed the sides of the cot for balance and scooted her frame down a couple of
inches.

 
“Are you sure you can’t put me to sleep?”

“We went
over this in my office, Mrs. Carter. This procedure only requires local anesthesia.
That’s all you need to numb the pain.”

“The
physical pain anyway.”

Dr.
Walker turned briefly to Arianna and Nicole. “I’m afraid I’m going to have to
ask you ladies to leave now.”

“We’ll
be right outside,” Nicole said to Janelle.

 
Dr. Walker took Janelle’s legs and placed
them in the stirrups.

Janelle
squeezed her eyes shut and crossed her arms over her chest, tightly holding
onto her shoulders. She hoped the shivering would cease and her nerves would
quiet.

The
nurse pulled a dingy, powder blue curtain around the width of the cubicle to
shield it from view.

Inside,
Janelle cringed when the doctor inserted a needle in her cervix to numb the
area.

Soon
after, she heard a loud vacuum cleaner-like noise as a machine next to her
began to suction Chauncey’s seed from her body.

Twenty
minutes later, it was over.

Janelle
had come to the clinic a mother of four. She would leave once again a mother of
two.

Janelle
had put back on her sweats and was waiting for permission to leave when Dr.
Walker returned to her cubicle with what she thought were forms for her
discharge.

Arianna
was sitting on a stool at the foot of the cot, and Nicole was brushing loose
strands of Janelle’s hair back into the ponytail at the base of her neck.

 
“I’m afraid I have to ask you ladies to
leave again, just for a moment,” Dr. Walker said looking at Nicole.

“Why?
What is it?” Janelle asked.

“This is
confidential,” he said.

“Nothing
is more confidential than what I just went through. Whatever it is, they can
stay.”

“Are you
sure, Mrs. Carter? This is a very sensitive matter?”

“So is
an abortion, Dr. Walker. Can you just tell me what’s going on?”

“All
right,” Dr. Walker said hesitantly. “I have the results of your STD workup. You
tested positive for chlamydia.”

 
The trio gasped simultaneously, as if
they’d all received the same diagnosis.

Janelle
buried her head in her hands, hiding the embarrassment on her face.

For a
moment, silence filled the room.

Then
anger swelled in Janelle’s gut, replacing the shame. She jumped off the cot.
When her feet hit the floor, the impact sent a sharp pain to her pelvic region.
A gush of blood flowed between her legs, soaking the industrial sanitary napkin
glued to her panties.

“Aaaahh,”
Janelle yelled, grabbing her stomach. “I don’t believe this shit! Are you sure
about this, Dr. Walker?”
 

“Calm
down, Mrs. Carter. Please sit back down.”

Nicole
helped Janelle ease herself back on the cot.

Dr.
Walker continued.

“Almost
75 percent of people with chlamydia don’t have symptoms; most don’t know they
have it. Or when they got it. So keep that in mind before you jump to
conclusions about your partner.”

“I don’t
have to jump. I know exactly who gave it to me.”

“I am
going to you give you a prescription you should have filled after you leave.
Mrs. Carter, I can’t impress upon you the importance of practicing safe sex.
You must make your partners use a condom.”

“Partners!
I only have one partner, Dr. Walker. Make that I
had
one partner.”

“I’m
sorry. I didn’t mean to imply anything.”

“Did you
test me for anything else?”

“We
tested you for gonorrhea, chlamydia and syphilis. You tested negative for
everything except chlamydia.”

“Can I
go now?”

“Yes,
you can go after the nurse gives you the post-op care instruction sheet. Mrs.
Carter, I’m not trying to scare you. But you should consider getting an HIV
test.

“Are you
telling me that I could have AIDS?”

“I tell
all my patients who’ve been diagnosed with an STD to be tested to find out
their status. Here, I’m giving you two prescriptions.”

He
handed Janelle two pieces of paper.

“One
will take care of the chlamydia and the other one is for pain. You may have
some bleeding and mild cramps for a few days from the procedure. Get both of
these prescriptions filled and go home and get some rest. I will see you in two
weeks.”