I Rize (3 page)

Last night I was babysitting Piper. Do you remember Miss Nora’s niece, the five year old with the long,brown pigtails? We had a very interesting and insightful conversation. I sat flipping through the channels trying to find a comedy to make me feel better, hoping
Family Guy
would be on. Cute little Piper came and stood in front of the TV. It is so adorable how she says my name to get my attention.

'Adnyyy!’

Nothing good was on. I turned the TV off to listen to her.

‘Adny, umm did anyone make you cry before?’

Her question surprised me. An itty bitty five year old’s curiosity impacted me on levels her young mind would never understand. I admitted yes, every day, and asked her if someone at school made her cry.

She told me, ‘Boys and girls at school took my crayons and broke my clay cup I made for Mommy.’

She placed the two pieces of clay in each of my hands, and I could see tears form on her tiny face. Her first instance of bullying was a microcosm in comparison to the bullying I faced.

I asked her if she told her teacher about it.

I remember a worried look fell upon her when she said, ‘I was too scared because they said they would do it again if I told my teacher.’

Trying to explain what I been going through for the past three years in five year old terms proved to be very challenging. I found a piece of sandpaper in the kitchen drawer and handed it to Piper.

Her look of puzzlement made me laugh a little on the inside when she asked, ‘What’s this? Why does it feel so hard?’

I almost forgot she was five and didn’t know too much. I told her it was called sandpaper. It always feels hard to the touch in the beginning. I asked her to write the words, ‘I rise,’ with a marker.

‘Is this how you spell it? I can’t really see it.’

I chuckled under my breath. She spelled the word r-i-z-e. I didn’t make a big deal about it because I wanted her to understand the bigger picture. I found a piece of wood inside the garage and asked her to scratch the sandpaper against the wood until it felt smooth. Piper’s eyes lit up like a new Christmas tree when she could finally see the words.

‘Look Adny! It feels better now. I can see my words!’

I asked her if she remembered when the sandpaper felt hard when she first touched it.”

When she nodded, I explained how in the beginning it was going to be hard like how the sandpaper felt. Those mean boys and girls would try to keep making her cry. I’m not sure if she fully understood the meaning behind my words, but I told her to think of herself as the sandpaper. She would be smooth just like the sandpaper when those mean boys and girls stopped hurting her.

No more tears.

She asked, ‘So I will be like the smooth part?’

I agreed and told her she was a smart girl. I said, when she was all grown up, all the mean people would stay on the bottom like the rough part. She would be on top like the smooth part. They would not be able to hurt her anymore.

‘Adny, I rise!’

She smiled and ran off with the sandpaper as if it would be her weapon for survival in this treacherous world. Right now, Piper is lucky. She still has her innocence.

I lost mine a long time ago—the day I stepped through the doors of Valley High School.

Do you remember those summers we would spend hours on the beach inventing games in our own imaginary fantasy land, without any cares in the world?

Junior nodded and said, “Hell yeah, I’ve missed those days.”

Well I took those careless moments for granted.

Junior could hear a knock at the door on the video, which caused Adny to turn her head away from the camera.

Please tell everyone else I love them. I hope Piper can grow up and win against her tormentors unlike me. I hope she can be so much stronger than me. I have no fight left. None left at all.

She stopped again, looking back at the turning knob; her hand pressed over her heart, as though she could make the pain quickly subside.

Jace texted me earlier this morning and told me I should kill myself. Everyone is against me.

Junior ran his fingers up and down the computer screen contemplating her statement. “I never knew you had his number.”

I have been hit, spit on, and terrorized for far too long. I can only fight back for so long until my body gives out—until my mind refuses to form rational thoughts. Satan’s spawns, Madison, Shandi, and Terri won. I lost.

“Adny, it’s not too late. Don’t let evil win. Keep fighting,” Junior said this, knowing his words held no truth.

Senior year was supposed to be one of the happiest, most carefree years. Three weeks ‘til graduation. I know I won’t make it out of here alive. While every senior parades around in his or her joy, I’m dying in sadness. Every time I close my eyes, the same recurring nightmare emerges. I’m tired of fighting it. The nightmare has been feeling more like a bug that is constantly gnawing away at my brain.

Feeding time will end soon, when I’m gone.

While I cry, they laugh. While I toss and turn, they sleep. While I suffer, they rejoice. They are my tormentors. I just want this all to end today.

Bye, best friend.

Junior rubbed his fingertips against Adny’s fading face. The screen went black. As he closed the laptop, he asked himself aloud, “Who was at your door? Tear droplets formed in the corner of his eyes. His grip tightened around the edges of the laptop, while mixed emotions distorted his thoughts.

J
UNIOR DECIDED to visit Adny in the hospital before school started. He was never the biggest fan of doctor visits. Walking down the long hallway toward Adny’s room caused his body to flinch at the memory of being pricked by countless needles. The thought, the touch, and the look of blood made him sick. A nurse walked out of Adny’s door holding a needle enclosed in a bag. He felt his heart speed up, while holding the same arm where the first painful shot took place at the age of three. Closing his eyes, he waited for the nurse to leave. When his composure was gained, he was able to finally walk into the room.

His eyes immediately fell upon the chair where nurses took blood from patients—the chair of death. Chills crept up through his legs and into his arms at the thought of sitting in the chair again.

Adny’s grandma was sitting beside the bed. Junior leaned down between her and the bed. A frown formed when he glanced at Adny’s stiffened body on the bed. “Junior, don’t frown; she’s still with us.”

“I’m sorry, Grams. I hate this place so much. I hate seeing her stiff body on this uncomfortable looking bed. I hate…” Before Junior could continue, Adny’s grandmother grabbed his shirt by the collar. His body tensed up as her grip tightened.

“You better get that hate out of your mouth. Take the hate outside, but not in here. Understand?”

He nodded, while repeating, “Yes ma’am,” a few times, before she let go.

Everyone looked up to Adny’s grandma because she had such amazing insight on everything about life. She had lived a long life and wanted to pass her knowledge down to anyone who would listen.

“I didn’t mean to startle you, child, but Adny needs all the love she can get.”

They joined in a quick hug, and Junior listened as she began doing what she did best—telling stories. In her alone time, she would sit back in her rocking chair, spending long hours reflecting down memory lane. Junior closed his eyes, signaling his readiness to be immersed back into the world of innocent childhood days.

“Child, I remember when you were two years old. You sure did love that watermelon. All you could say was Grams, melon, and Mama at that age.”

Junior opened his eyes, confused. “Grams, why do you talk about Adny like she is standing here listening with us?”

“She ain’t buried six feet under, is she?”

He could sense the sarcasm in her voice. To avoid any more disagreements, his eyes closed hastily.

“It was a hot day. You took your short self and grabbed a piece of watermelon out of the kitchen. The watermelon juice slipped between your tiny fingers and got all over the carpet. I asked you to go outside with your older cousins because I had to clean up. I heard a scream and ran to the door. I remember you stood in just a diaper staring at the door, crying, with your mouth wide open.

Adny’s grandmother stopped to look at Junior’s constant smiling. “I asked your older cousins what had happened. They all were laughing so hard. I saw one of them in a gorilla suit trying to scare you. Child, you made me laugh. When I looked back, you just picked that watermelon up off the floor and started munching away.”

When she finished the story, she tapped Junior on his shoulder to get his attention. He was still smiling when his eyes opened.

“Junior what do you think?”

“Grams … amazing as always. I feel like I could hug her again.”

“It always works for me, too. Aren’t you about to be late for school?”

“I guess I should go. We have a required meeting in the afternoon. Wish I didn’t have to leave without my best friend.”

Junior lifted Adny’s grandmother’s hand and helped her up from the chair. She stood over Adny for a moment, staring. Touching her hand on top of Adny’s, it seemed as if she were trying to revive a new hopeful life. She looked down at their hands touching and said, “Child, don’t give them the power, because they don’t deserve it. Come back to us. Take all your power back.”

When she left the room, Junior stood at the door, looking down at the ground. The attempt to gather his thoughts into a coherent flow of words took a long time. “I better not come in contact with the person who was at your door. If I find out it was Jace, I might just kill him.”

C
hattering students filled the gym at Valley High School during the required meeting. Some were anxious, some were worried, and some were indifferent toward Adny’s absence. On one side there was Madison, Principal Cooper’s daughter. She swiped her long blonde hair from her face, causing every guy to look in her direction. Every girl envied her, and every guy wanted her. She and the other cheerleaders always sat together.

None were fans of Adny.

Behind the cheerleaders sat Terri, Adny’s stepsister, and her friend, Shandi. Shandi pulled her short hair back into a tight bun as Terri kept looking at her crooked teeth in her pocket mirror. All three girls did everything together—including hurt Adny. They were inseparable, slowly destroying Adny’s inner and outer strength, not realizing their actions decreased her will to live each day.

Junior took a deep breath before he walked into the gym. It was the first time Adny and Mickey were not at school with him. His eyes scanned the gym at the rusted bleachers and fainted outline of the school colors, silver and blue, on the gym floor, which displayed the generations of classes. A faint smile spread across his face when he spotted Mickey on the opposite side.

Sitting down, he noticed Mickey inching away from him. “Mickey, I haven’t heard from you. What’s going on? Is everything okay?”

Mickey inched further away. “If I tell you yes, will you leave me alone? If I tell you what you want to hear, will you be satisfied?”

Junior didn’t know how to react to Mickey’s change in attitude. “Mickey, I know it’s been difficult since Adny’s been in the hospital. I guess you forgot how love works.”

Mickey threw his hands frustratingly up into the air. “Yeah, yeah, I know. You love me. I get it. I love you, too, but right now I want to be left alone.”

As Mickey stood to leave, two police officers approached Principal Cooper at the podium. Junior noticed how Mickey’s mouth flew open when Principal Cooper called his name. He knew something was wrong as all eyes fell upon Mickey’s movements. The policemen guided him out of the gym and everyone seated fell silent.

Junior’s mind became a jungle of entangled emotions. His psyche blurred the lines between insanity and sanity at the realization of the loss of his best friend and the love of his life. He placed his head in his hands, ignoring everyone around him. It was then that Principal Cooper asked everyone to quiet down.

“In the wake of Adny’s hospitalization, which I’m sure all of you have heard about by now, today should be a day of reflection for all of us. I see hundreds of you every day, but I’ve failed to hear each of you individually. I apologize.”

While the principal was talking, Junior overheard Madison say, “Dad doesn’t have to apologize to that ungrateful bitch. Clearly, it was her fault. She wanted to kill herself.”

Junior noticed another student, Gracie, look behind her, while glaring straight into Madison’s vicious eyes. “That’s mean.”

“Look, the fat thing has a mouth, and it speaks,” Madison snarled.

Everyone, including Shandi and Terri, reveled in laughter, forcing Gracie’s eyes to face downward.

Principal Cooper paused for a moment and looked over at Gracie and Madison before continuing. Madison rolled her eyes in his direction.

“In a few weeks, I want to hold a gathering on the football field. It will be a time for us to all come together, and I want everyone to attend. Now, I will turn this meeting over to Miss Nora.”

Miss Nora slowly walked up to the podium. “Thank you for taking the time to come. This situation is difficult to fathom. Bullying is never justified. I want everyone to stand up if they have ever been bullied physically, emotionally, or through social media.”

Gracie stood along with Junior. Junior could hear girls smirking behind Gracie, but wasn’t sure who it was until a voice said, “Some people are just born losers. There’s nothing anyone can do about it.”

He recognized Madison’s harsh voice, and noticed Gracie looking at the ground for comfort. It became increasingly difficult to focus on Miss Nora’s speech.

“Now, I want everyone to look at the people standing. These are the people who have been hurt by many of
you
sitting down. These are the people who have been called names by many of
you
sitting down. These are the people who have been harmed by many of
you
sitting down. Everyone who has ever been a bully toward someone else, stand up.”