I Remember (Remembrance Series) (4 page)

“The worse they can do is send you home. But I have a strong feeling they will admit him and he can get the medical attention he needs.”

Mom let out a sigh of relief. “I was thinking the same thing.”

“If he tries to fight you on the idea, ask him to do us this favor and at least have himself checked out, for our peace of mind. If he still resists, question what he would want us to do if we were in his position?” I knew that dad couldn’t argue with that line of reasoning.

“Good call on the reverse psychology. I’ll give you a call either from the hospital or home, depending on what they say.” Mom’s voice seemed more reassured.

“Don’t worry about calling at work, Mom. This is a family emergency and I’m sure Caroline will understand. I love you both, very much!” I made sure my voice sounded upbeat, even though my heart ached anticipating bad news.

“Ok, will talk to you soon. Love you and bye.”

“Ok. Bye.”

I didn’t want to hang up, needing some form of reassurance. I prayed he would be fine and the ER doctors would see how weak he was and do something about it.

I stayed in my office to eat, avoiding the lunchroom. I needed privacy and to keep busy.

The hours slipped by as I poured myself into work. I didn’t want to worry until I had too, a trait I had picked up from my dad. He wouldn’t deal with anything negative until he was forced to.

The phone rang, startling me. “Marilyn Carlisle is on line two for you.”

“Thank you, Karen.”

“Where are you Mom?”

“We’re at the hospital, Jordan. The emergency room doctor agrees that your dad is extremely weak and feels we should do the tests here. But first they need to build up his strength.”

I let out a breath, not realizing I had been holding it. “I am glad someone is finally listening. Maybe now we can find out what is going on. I wish we had some answers, but I think he’s where he needs to be.” I hoped I came across reassuringly, but inside I felt terrified.

“I’m relieved,” My mother admitted.

“I am too! Would you like me come up and stay tonight?” I had already completed most of my work for the day.

“No. We’re still in the emergency room. It will take a couple of hours to get the paperwork done and get him a room assignment. I think we will be here awhile and we don’t really know anything, so stay where you are and I will call if I need you.” I knew mom was being brave, trying to quell my fears.

“Mom, if you need me, I’ll be there.” I insisted.

“Maybe in a few days, but let’s just see where we stand, first.” I could tell her decision was made.

“Ok. Call me as soon as you know something. I will try to get home a little earlier tonight. Love you!”

“Love you, too! I will call as soon as he is settled in a room.

“Bye!”

I wanted to tell Caroline what was going on, but felt it would be best to wait until I had more information. I did leave a little earlier than usual, since I was ahead of schedule on her newest projects. I felt I could use the extra time to get all my clothes washed and figure out what I would need to take with me, in the event I did need to travel soon.

I changed into ratty old jeans and a t-shirt. I made quick work of sorting my dirty clothes, grabbing a pile and starting the washer.

I decided to jump on the computer to respond to Thomas’ email.

I hesitated for a moment, knowing that going on the internet might cause me to miss mom’s call, but she knew the cell phone would be on. She also knew this was one way I found stress relief. So I hit the link to activate the modem. Before I knew, it I was online.

“Hmmm….no mail tonight?” I wondered if I had scared Gregory off already, but realized he may not have had time to check his email, today.

I decided I would go with intuition and pass on the date with Thomas. I tried to let him down gently as I wrote.

“
Thomas, I’ve had a family emergency come up and I’m not sure whether I will be in town for Valentine’s Day. My father has taken ill and has been admitted to the hospital. I hope you can find someone to enjoy Valentine’s Day with. Thanks, Jordan”

I listened for the washer and realized it had finished, so I decided to get up and start the next load.

On the way back to the bedroom, I made myself some hot herbal tea, hoping it would help calm my nerves. The smell was almost intoxicating and definitely soothing.

The moment I walked into my bedroom, I received an instant message notification. I glanced at the screen and found myself smiling with excitement.

“
Hi Jordan. I noticed you were home early again, tonight. How are you doing? How’s your dad?”

“Hi Gregory. Made it a point to finish my work early and am doing some laundry in the event I need to travel to my parent’s house.”

I wasn’t sure if he was just being nice or if he actually wanted to hear what was going on. So I decided to keep the responses short.

“So, your dad isn’t any better? Also, you did not answer my question on how you are? I’m sure this must be trying for you.”
The statement was definitely sincere, not something I was used to.

“The doctor’s office dismissed my mom. So, we opted for the emergency room. They are admitting him, now. He’s weaker than yesterday and it has us concerned.”

I began to worry when his response took more than five minutes. I thought, “Ok, now you have done it, you’ve scared him off with too much information.”

“My apologies my response took a while, but my dinner was about to burn. I’m truly sorry to hear about your father. I will keep him in good thoughts. How are you holding up?”

His level of interest and his sincerity caught me off guard. There was something about him, even though we were only talking through instant messages and email; it felt comfortable, as if I had known him for a long time.

“To be honest, my nerves are frazzled. I am torn between staying here and being with my parents. My mom wants me to stay put, so it doesn’t affect my job; and the hospital probably won’t know anything for a day or two, at least. Knowing my dad, he is in agreement with her.”

“Jordan, I wish I knew what to say to calm your nerves. Have you tried drinking some hot tea? I know it helps. I’m sure your parents are just looking out for you. Are you expecting your mom’s call soon? I don’t want to interfere with your conversation time.”

His last response made me wonder if he was ending our conversation. That’s the only thing I hated about talking on the computer, you could never really get a feel for anyone.

“I don’t expect to hear from Mom for a couple of hours. She said it would some time to get him settled. She knows I have my cell phone on, tonight. So no rush, unless you need to go?”

I would give him the out he might be looking for and see what happened. I tried to convince myself that I didn’t care, but I enjoyed our chats. He was the first person I could be myself with, no pretenses, which I liked.

“I thoroughly enjoy talking with you, Jordan. I just understand the importance of family and wasn’t sure if I was interfering or not.

“Know that I am
VERY
interested in getting to know you better. I was about to respond to your last email, when I noticed you were online. Hope you don’t mind, but I put you on my friend list.”

Excitement spread through me when I noticed the “very” was both capitalized, underlined, and in bold print. Maybe he is the kind of friend I have been looking for. Though wondered how I was going to balance work, my dad’s health and trying to meet someone new. My life was full of challenges right now.

“I want to get to know you too, Gregory. I will add you to my friend’s list, now.”
Suddenly, I felt more at ease.

“Would you like me to respond to your email or would you rather I tell you my responses through chatting? Your decision.”

I could tell he had chosen his words carefully as his response came a little later than the others.

“I have no preference, but am enjoying our conversation.”
I wanted him to continue talking, to help fill my time and keep my mind occupied.

“Jordan... you wanted to know about my likes and dislikes right?”

“Yes, I do. Please know that honesty is important to me. So, if we differ on something that is fine. I just want to know who YOU are.”
And, in truth, I did want to know who he was, what he thought about, and why his interest in my ad.

“Ok, here goes nothing…In regard to music, I haven’t listened to much classical, but I do love a wide variety, my favorite being the ’80’s

He continued with,
“As for food, while I like Italian and Chinese/Japanese, my tastes change pending on how the food is cooked and presented. I am up to trying new things, just as long as it’s not too strange. I prefer healthy lifestyle choices, but don’t mind an occasional indulgence.

“Our movie tastes are similar. I will watch an occasional romance; as a guy I hate to admit it, but the classics are my favorite. I love a good comedy, an occasional action flick, though nothing too violent, there is enough of that in the world already. As for science fiction, it depends on the storyline and the director.”

I thought that was the end of his responses but he caught me off guard.
“Almost forgot, I agree about people who bear false pretenses. I would rather have honesty, be upfront and bold, too. I know a lot of people don’t understand this concept, but it is very important to me. I guess that’s why I was attracted to your ad.”

My thoughts were blown away by his comments.

I had to think for a moment about how to respond. He had literally overwhelmed me.
“Thank you, Gregory, for being so open. I appreciate and admire someone who can be straightforward.”

“My pleasure, Jordan.”

“This may sound corny,”
Gregory wrote, “B
ut I was wondering why are you not already involved with someone…why don’t you have a boyfriend? Don’t get me wrong; just between your ad and our chats, you’re amazing!”

I contemplated how to answer this, it definitely wasn’t easy to describe why.
“You know, you are too kind with your comments. Though, I could ask you the same question.”

He countered.
“True. We could answer at the same time?”

“Ok.”
I definitely couldn’t argue with that.

No one had ever asked me why I was still unattached or single. Most assumed my shyness was snobbishness and insensitivity toward others, in spite of the fact that I was quite receptive to everyone’s moods around me.

“Gregory…I am not sure how to relay my thoughts into words. I guess the best answer I can give is that I haven’t found my other half in life, the person that would complete me and make me feel whole. I’ve dated before, but there has never been a connection that progressed from friendship into a relationship. Maybe I want the fantasy of what romance movies tell us love should be. All I know is that I haven’t had that feeling, as my dad puts it, ‘of being hit by a Mack truck.’ Plus, I am shy when it comes to being around new people; so unless I feel comfortable with someone, I tend to be quiet and most guys don’t like that.”

Hopefully, this answer wouldn’t over explain things.

Immediately after hitting enter, Gregory’s response came in.

He wrote,
“I guess I didn’t realize how hard this question was; my apologies. I am still ‘unattached’ or ‘single’ because I haven’t found my true soul mate, my other half in life. I know that for the moment I am whole, though I would love to be able to share happy times and adventures with someone special. When I meet my destined mate, I will feel like I am only half existing unless she is around to complete me. I understand that the explanation is ‘out there’ and can only hope it makes sense. I am in no rush to find this individual, as I know feelings need to blossom out of friendship. When the moment is right and I have found her, there will be no doubt left in my mind.”

I had to keep re-reading his response. This is exactly how I felt about life and the experiences I wanted to have. How could he be so in tune to the way I saw things?

I sat back in my chair, pondering why the universe could be so cruel as to have my path cross with someone, so like myself, at such a time when chaos seemed to be unraveling before me. I could only imagine fate laughing.

I shook my head in wonder. At that moment a new message popped up.
“Wow - Jordan! I have never come across anyone with the same mindset as my own. By the way, I
LOVED
your response!”

“I know what you mean, Gregory…I found your comments moving. I have never talked with anyone who had a similar outlook on life.”
This was refreshing.

“So, Jordan, what would you like to talk about next? I have tons of questions for you?”

I didn’t mind the inquiries. I had several questions floating around in my mind, as well. Though, I wondered how many would be identical.