I Love the Illusion: The Life and Career of Agnes Moorehead (68 page)

“Twitch or Treat.” October 27, 1966.
Endora throws a cosmic Halloween party at the Stephens — even Darrin appears to be enjoying
himself. Endora recites her famous “Night Before Halloween,” interrupted by Uncle Arthur. She gets
her revenge. Oh, did you know that Willie Mays is a warlock?

“Dangerous Diaper Dan.” November 3, 1966.
The diaper service man is hired by a rival advertising firm to plant a microphone in a baby rattle in
hopes of discovering Darrin’s firm’s trade secrets. When Sam and Endora discover this, Dangerous
Diaper Dan may need a diaper of his own.

“I’d Rather Twitch than Fight.” November 17, 1966.
Sam and Darrin have a fight and Endora brings in Dr. Sigmund Freud to settle their dispute.

“Oedipus Hex.” November 24, 1966.
Endora puts a spell on a bowl of popcorn which causes anybody who eats from it to become lazy.
Naturally, Darrin takes a handful and, rather than rushing off to work, decides to loaf around the
house.

“Sam’s Spooky Chair.” December 1, 1966.
Clyde Farnsworth is a warlock who transformed himself into an antique chair when Samantha rejected
him — a chair that Samantha purchases and which continually kicks Darrin in the shin with its leg.

“Sam in the Moon.” January 5, 1967.
Darrin thinks some tea that Sam and Endora brought back from Japan is actually moon dust and has
NASA come in to analyze it. Where does he get these ideas?

“Hoho the Clown.” January 12, 1967.
Endora interferes again when she accompanies Samantha and Tabatha to a kiddie's show, sponsored by
McMann and Tate, and “arranges” for Tabatha to win prizes, a no-no since her daddy is connected
with the show.

“Super Car.” January 19, 1967.
To try and mend fences with Darrin, Endora conjures up a “Super Car” for him. Initially, Darrin is
excited about it until he learns it’s an experimental model zapped out of its workshop in Detroit.

“Trial and Error of Aunt Clara.” February 2, 1967.
A charming episode with Aunt Clara, her powers ever declining, put on trial by a jury of witches
to decide if Clara should be “earthbound.” Endora, Enchatra and Hagatha are the jury. Samantha
defends her favorite aunt.

“Three Wishes.” February 9, 1967.
This may sound familiar, but Endora grants Darrin three wishes, without his knowledge, to prove his
love for Sam. Sam is sure he will, but seemingly his wishes are to spend the night in Boston with a
beautiful model. How will he get out of this one?

“I Remember you . . . Sometimes.” February 16, 1967.
Endora puts a spell on Darrin which gives him total recall, leading to disaster.

“Art for Sam’s Sake.” February 23, 1967.
Sam takes up painting, and her first effort is good for an amateur, so it isn’t good enough for Endora,
who zaps a masterpiece from a New York Gallery and puts Sam’s name on it. Naturally, Darrin has a
client who comes to the showing and wants that picture.

“Charlie Harper, Winner.” March 2, 1967.
Charlie Harper, Darrin’s old college roommate, has really gone places and has a snooty wife who
continually rubs it into Sam’s face all the luxuries he has given her. Well, Sam conjures up a mink coat
to prove that Darrin is no slouch. Unfortunately, it only causes Darrin to believe that he has been a
failure since he hasn’t been able to give Sam everything she may want. Eventually, Sam convinces
Darrin that with him and Tabatha she has everything she wants. At the end, Samantha tells Darrin,
“I could never conjure up another Darrin Stephens.” Well . . .

“The Crone of Cawdor.” March 16, 1967.
The Crone of Cawdor transforms herself into a beautiful client of Darrin’s, Terry Warbell, and if she
succeeds in kissing Darrin she will steal his youth to preserve her own. Agnes does a delicious parody
of famed wardrobe designer Edith Head in this episode.

“No More, Mr. Nice Guy.” March 23, 1967.
Endora puts a spell on Darrin which causes everyone who comes in contact with him to hate him.

“It’s Witchcraft.” March 30, 1967.
Once again a confrontation between Endora and Phyllis Stephens. Darrin and Sam try to prevent
Darrin's parents from learning the truth about Tabatha’s parents and Endora is called in by Sam to
help. Big mistake.

“How to Fail in Business with All Kinds of Help.” April 6, 1967.
Through a series of misunderstandings Darrin comes to believe that a new client, Madame Maruska
(Marooshkaa), is Endora in disguise and ends up insulting her and throwing away a million-dollar
contract. Larry is ready to throw Darrin away (again) unless he can get the account back.

“There’s Gold in Them Thar Pills.” May 4, 1967.
The third season ends with the first appearance of Bernard Fox as Dr. Bombay, the “quack” witch
doctor that Sam’s family has gone to for years. Darrin catches a cold and Endora calls in Bombay, who
gives him a pill which magically cures the cold within seconds. Darrin, and then Tate, decide to market
the pills and make a fortune in the meantime.

“Long Live the Queen.” September 7, 1967.
Samantha is named Queen of the Witches and Endora beams while Darrin scowls as the fourth season
is launched.

“Toys in Babeland.” September 14, 1967.
Endora is babysitting but is expected at a party, so she brings one of Tabatha’s toys to life which Tab
later copies.

“Business, Italian Style.” September 21, 1967.
Darrin tries to learn Italian to impress a client; Endora decides to help him along except that now he
can speak Italian but not English.

“Double, Double, Toil and Trouble.” September 28, 1967.
Also known as the “pie throwing episode,” due to the climatic pie throwing scene, this is a “Serena”
episode. Endora calls on Serena to once again impersonate Samantha and cause mischief in the
Stephens’ marriage.

“Cheap, Cheap.” October 5, 1967.
Endora puts a stingy spell on Darrin. How many spells has she cast on him so far?

“No Zip in my Zap.” October 12, 1967.
Samantha loses her powers, and Dr. Bombay’s diagnosis is because she doesn’t use them enough.
Doesn’t use them enough??

“Birdies, Bogeys and Baxter.” October 19, 1967.
Client Joe Baxter is an excellent golfer so Larry arranges a golf game between himself, Darrin and
Baxter. Of course, Larry expects that Darrin must impress the client with his own skill as a golfer,

so Endora puts a spell on Darrin — who doesn't impress the client so much as embarrasses him on
the links.

“Allergic to Macedonian Dodo Birds.” November 16, 1967.
Perhaps the funniest of all
Bewitched
episodes, many fans — including
Bewitched
historian Herbie J
Pilato — consider this Agnes Moorehead’s best episode. Endora loses her powers and becomes earthbound, staying with the Stephens and driving Durwood crazy. The scene on the patio between Darrin
and the helpless Endora is a classic. Consider this: not only is this classic Endora, but an Aunt Clara
and Dr. Bombay episode to boot.

“Solid Gold Mother-in-Law.” November 30, 1967.
When Endora pops a picture of herself onto Darrin’s desk at work, and is seen by client, Mr. Gregson,
who is much taken with Darrin’s dedication to his “mother-in-law,” he insists on meeting this lovely lady
and ends up asking Darrin to open his own ad firm, which causes a breach between Darrin and Tate.

“My What Big Ears You Have.” December 7, 1967.
Endora thinks that Darrin is having an affair, and to find out she puts a spell on him causing his ears
to grow each time he tells a lie. Pretty soon he is able to start flapping around like Dumbo, but he is,
nevertheless, innocent of any hanky-panky.

“I Get Your Nanny, You Get My Goat.” December 14, 1967.
Endora hires a nanny, named Elsbeth, for Tabitha, who also looked after Samantha as a child. However,
she is taken away from a warlock employer who blames Darrin of stealing away his housekeeper.

“Once in a Vial.” January 4, 1968.
Another strong “Endora” episode. Endora summons Rollo, who once dated Samantha, in her latest
bid to cause disharmony in the Stephens’ marriage. Rollo prepares a love potion meant for Sam,
but Endora accidentally downs it and ends up falling in love and almost marrying a client of
Darrin’s.

“Snob in the Grass.” January 11, 1968.
Sheila Sommers, Darrin’s ex-flame, returns. Larry wants to land her rich daddy’s account and he
arranges a dinner party, where Sam can take only so much of Sheila before an overwhelming desire to
twitch overcomes her sensibilities — and well-deserved too.

“If They Never Met.” January 25, 1968.
One of the most romantic of the
Bewitched
episodes. Endora once again allows Sam to go back in
time to see what would have happened if “they never met.” It seems that Darrin would have ended up
marrying Sheila, and would even have become a full partner at McMann and Tate . . . but, something is missing . . . could it be . . . true love??

“A Prince for a Day.” February 8, 1968.
Tabitha brings Prince Charming to life out of her storybook and Darrin’s cousin, Helen, falls in love.

“To Twitch or Not to Twitch.” March 14, 1968.
Another terrific episode, from a strong fourth season. Sam and Darrin argue over Sam’s use of witchcraft. In a rainstorm, as they are traveling to the Tates’ for a party in honor of a client, they experience
a flat tire and Darrin asks Sam to repair the tire (via magic); she refuses and he gets angry and wet.
Eventually, Sam and Tabitha leave Darrin and go home to Mother (on Cloud 8), only to come back
when Darrin makes a sincere apology.

“Tabitha’s Cranky Spell.” March 28, 1968.
A babysitter, Louise’s Aunt Harriet, thinks that Tab can communicate with the spirit world.

“Man of the Year.” April 25, 1968.
The final appearance of Endora for the fourth season. Endora puts a spell on Darrin which causes everyone who comes in contact with him to be impressed beyond belief. Darrin, naturally, gets a big head.

“Samantha’s Wedding Present.” September 26, 1968.
The first episode of the fifth season has Endora putting a spell on Darrin which causes him to slowly
shrink until he is as big as a thumbnail.

“Samantha on the Keyboard.” October 10, 1968.
Darrin challenges Samantha to learn how to play the piano the “mortal way.” She takes the bait, but
that doesn’t stop Endora from giving a booster to Tabitha which causes their piano teacher to believe
that he has found a child prodigy.

“Darrin Gone! And Forgotten?” October 17, 1968.
Carlotta (Mercedes McCambridge) comes to
collect Samantha whom Endora promised years
earlier would marry her son, Juke.

“It’s Nice to Have a Spouse Around the House.”

October 24, 1968.
Endora once again employs Serena to cause
mischief in the Stephens’ marriage. What they
didn’t expect was that Darrin has arranged a
second honeymoon for Sam and himself in this
slightly risque episode.

“Mirror, Mirror on the Wall.” November 7, 1968.
Endora puts a spell on Darrin which causes him
to become self-centered. Another very funny
Dick York performance.

“Instant Courtesy.” December 26, 1968.
When Darrin is rude to Endora, she puts a

courtesy spell on him. Of course, he is so courteous now that he drives everybody crazy.

“One Touch of Midas.” January 23, 1969.
Endora puts a spell on an ugly little doll called “The Fuzz Doll” so that everybody falls in love with it
and wants to buy it. Of course, Darrin wants to market it and make millions so that Sam can have
everything she wants.

“Samantha the Bard.” January 30, 1969.
Sam comes down with a virus which causes her to say everything in rhyme. Endora seeks Dr. Bombay
for help — and, of course, he isn't much help.

“Samantha the Sculptress.” February 6, 1969.
Sam takes up sculpture and molds a likeness of Darrin, which Endora brings to life.
“Going Ape.” February 27, 1969.
Tabitha turns a chimp into a man, who gets involved in an advertising campaign.

“Tabitha’s Weekend.” March 6, 1969.
An excellent non-Darrin episode. Phyllis doesn’t get enough time with Tabitha, and in her opinion,
believes that Sam is overly protective, so she arranges to take Tab for the weekend, but doesn't bargain
with having Sam and Endora in tow.

“The Battle of Burning Oak.” March 13, 1969.
Darrin is up for membership in an “exclusive” country club, so Endora puts a spell on him, one which
turns him into a terrible snob.

“Samantha’s Power Failure.” March 20, 1969.
The witches’ council expects that Sam will sever ties with Darrin and when she refuses, her powers are
taken away.

“Samantha Twitches for UNICEF.” March 27, 1969.
Sam and Endora work together to get a stingy millionaire to make good in his pledge to UNICEF.

“Daddy Does His Thing.” April 3, 1969.
Dick York began this episode but then suffered a seizure on the set which led to his departure from the
series. It is Darrin's birthday and Sam has a surprise for him, but Maurice appears with a magical gift
for Darrin which he turns down, leading Maurice to turn him into a stubborn mule. This is the final
episode York filmed but not the final one he appears in chronologically.

“Samantha’s Good News.” April 10, 1969.
While Endora and Maurice appear to have an open relationship, it infuriates her when he openly
begins to date a younger woman. Samantha manages to bring harmony when she announces that she
is expecting.

“Samantha’s Shopping Spree.” April 17, 1969.
Samantha, Tabitha, Endora and Cousin Henry go shopping in a department store. Henry takes offense
at a clerk and turns him into a mannequin.

“Samantha and Darrin in Mexico City.” April 24, 1969.
The final episode of the fifth season is also the final episode to feature Dick York as Darrin Stephens.
Darrin must learn Spanish to help him sell his ad ideas in a visit to Mexico. Endora casts a spell which
causes him to speak Spanish flawlessly but with the side effect of disappearing every time he utters a
word of Spanish. Ey, yi-yi.

“Sam and the Beanstalk.” September 18, 1969.
The sixth season begins with a new Darrin, played by Dick Sargent. Sargent lacked York’s rubber
face and romantic quality, but he did develop a deadpan style of his own. As for Agnes, she will be
increasingly absent from the series in these last three seasons, appearing in only 46 episodes, and when
she does appear (with rare exception) it is usually to place a spell at the beginning, disappear from the
body of the show, and then show up again to remove the spell at the end. This episode has Tabitha
(who would increasingly have more storylines as she gets older) sending herself into a Jack and the
Beanstalk story, with Sam to the rescue.

“Samantha’s Yoo Hoo Maid.” September 25, 1969
Endora believes that pregnant Samantha needs a maid. The one she has in mind is a nervous wallflower named Esmerelda, who disappears when flustered — which happens quite a lot, especially with
Darrin around. Alice Ghostley is introduced as Esmerelda.

“Samantha’s Curious Cravings.” October 9, 1969.
Samantha begins having cravings and the food magically appears before her, “Calling Dr. Bombay,”
who as usual is no help at all. His treatment reverses things and instead of food coming to Sam, Sam
goes to the food. A funny episode.

“And Something Makes Four.” October 16, 1969.
Sam delivers baby Adam and proud grandpapa Maurice casts a spell which causes everyone who comes
in contact with Adam to fall in love with him.

“Naming Samantha’s New Baby.” October 23, 1969.
Maurice is upset when he learns that Sam and Darrin intend to name the new baby after Darrin’s
father rather than after Maurice. When Maurice is angry — look out.

“To Trick or Treat or Not to Trick or Treat.” October 30, 1969.
Darrin and Endora argue about Halloween, and its stereotypes of witches. Endora turns Darrin into a
stereotypical witch with a big nose, wart and lantern jaw. Believe me, Darrin makes one homely witch.

“Samantha’s Secret Spell.” November 13, 1969.
Darrin and Endora have yet another argument and if Dum-Dum doesn’t apologize this time he will be
turned into a mouse by midnight.

“You’re So Agreeable.” December 11, 1969.
At first, Darrin is
too
agreeable and gets on everybody’s nerves, then Endora makes him disagreeable to
everyone. How can a mortal ever win?

“Samantha’s Better Halves.” January 1, 1970.
This was actually the first episode Dick Sargent filmed, but it was held back because no one was too
happy with it. It is impossible to take Dick York’s finest performance and refashion it for another actor,
but that is what they tried to do with this weak remake of “Divided He Falls.”

“The Phrase is Familiar.” January 15, 1970.
Endora casts a spell which causes Darrin to talk in clichés.

“Samantha’s Secret is Discovered.” January 22, 1970.
When Phyllis sees Samantha and Endora magically moving furniture, Sam decides it’s time to come
clean with her in-laws and admit she’s a witch.

“What Makes Darrin Run.” February 12, 1970.
Endora once again thinks that Samantha should be living better and puts a spell on Darrin which
makes him ruthlessly ambitious and out to take Larry’s place at the firm.

“The Generation Zap.” March 5, 1970.
I’m partial to this episode because it was telecast on my sixth birthday, and I’m sure I must have been
watching at the time. Anyhow, Endora and Serena once again team up to cause disharmony in the
Stephens’ marriage by making a client’s daughter fall in love with Darrin.

“Ok, Who’s the Wise Witch?” March 12, 1970.
The Stephens’ house becomes sealed up so no one can enter or leave. Imagine Sam, Darrin, Endora,
Esmerelda and Dr. Bombay all stuck together.

“If the Shoe Pinches.” March 26, 1970.
Endora outsources her attempts to break Darrin and Sam up to a leprechaun.

“Mona Sammy.” April 2, 1970.
My pick for the best episode of the sixth season. Endora conjures up a painting of Sam which makes
her look like the Mona Lisa. Larry and Louise come for dinner and discover the painting (thanks again
to Endora) and to cover up, Sam says that Darrin is the painter. Louise is so taken with the painting
that she insists that he paint her — with hilarious results.

“Turn on the Old Charm.” April 9, 1970.
Another standout episode. Samantha gives Darrin an amulet which makes Endora loving and courteous
to him. But, “hell hath no fury like a bugged witch” when Endora discovers the truth.

“To Go or Not to Go, That is the Question.” September 24, 1970.
Samantha will not attend a witches’ convention in Salem if Darrin is not allowed to attend. Hepzibah
(Jane Connell), the High Priestess of all witches, decides to dissolve this “mixed marriage.” But when
her fairness is called into question, she decides to move into the Stephens’ home to observe before
making a final judgment. Even Endora has to admit to Hepzibah that the paramount reason why she
has not been able to dissolve the marriage after all these years is because “He loves my daughter.”

“Salem Saga.” October 8, 1970.
Sam, Darrin, and Endora arrive in Salem for the big convention. Exteriors were filmed on location at
popular tourist attractions including the House of the Seven Gables. In this story, a “bewitched” bed
warmer begins to follow Sam around.

“Samantha’s Hot Bed Warmer.” October 15, 1970.
Part two. The spooked bed warmer turns out to be a warlock who once had a thing for Serena who,
when she tired of his advances, turned him into a bed warmer. Sam tries to get her kooky cousin to
reverse the spell.

“Samantha’s Bad Day in Salem.” November 5, 1970.
A warlock named Waldo, who has loved Samantha since she was a child, zaps up a duplicate Samantha
for himself, but Larry runs into this machine-like recreation and thinks that Darrin and Sam are having
marital problems.

“Samantha’s Old Salem Trip.” November 12, 1970.
Esmerelda accidentally sends Samantha back to 17th-century Salem, time of the actual Salem Witch
trials. Endora sends Darrin back in time to rescue her.

“Samantha’s Pet Warlock.” November 19, 1970.
Another ex-warlock boyfriend of Sam’s, Ashley (how many have there been?), makes a pest of himself
trying to get Sam back. When she rejects him (again), he turns himself into a stray dog who moves in
with the Stephens.

“Samantha’s Old Man.” December 3, 1970.
Endora turns Darrin into a 73-year-old version of himself. When Larry and Louise come over, Darrin
is introduced as Darrin’s grandfather, Grover. Louise has a brainstorm; Grover would be a perfect
mate/companion for her Aunt Millicent.

“The Corsican Cousins.” December 10, 1970.
Endora is up to her mischief again, but this time casts a spell not on Darrin but on Sam and Serena,
which causes Sam to experience the same feelings that her fun-loving, wacky cousin does.

“Samantha’s Magic Potion.” December 17, 1970.
After a run of bad luck at work, Samantha gives Darrin a magic potion meant to bolster his
confidence.

“Mother-In-Law of the Year.” January 14, 1971.
This may be the final episode that Agnes has a prominent role throughout. The last few seasons,
and in the episodes to come, Endora increasingly appears sparingly usually casting a spell and then
disappearing until the end when she removes the spell. Not in this wonderful episode. John McGiver
plays Mr. Bobbins of Bobbins Candy who believes that Endora is the perfect representative for a new
ad campaign for his product. Toward the end, Sam turns herself into Endora and Endora turns herself
into Sam.

“The Return of Darrin the Bold.” February 4, 1971.
Endora and Serena conjure up a plan to make Darrin a warlock (and thus more desirable to them?), by
sending Serena back to 14th-century Ireland to begin the transformation, beginning with his ancestor,
Darrin the Bold. Only thing: wouldn’t Darrin’s father also become a warlock? How would they have
explained that? Would it cause Phyllis yet another “sick headache?”

“This Little Piggie.” February 25, 1971.
When Endora thinks that Darrin is being “pig headed,” she goes all the way and zaps a pig’s head on
him.

“Mixed Doubles.” March 4, 1971.
Sam and Louise magically switch places. Sam now looks like Louise and Louise now looks like
Sam — Sam as Louise sees through it, but not Louise as Sam. Who says blondes are dumb?

“Money Happy Returns.” March 18, 1971.
When Darrin finds $1,000 in a taxi, he thinks it is Endora once again trying to interfere. Hey Darrin,
I wouldn't mind that kind of interference.

“Out of the Mouth of Babes.” March 25, 1971.
A remake of “Junior Executive,” with Darrin turned into a ten-year-old version of himself by
Endora.

“Laugh, Clown, Laugh.” April 15, 1971.
Endora zaps a spell onto Darrin which makes him think he is funny when he is actually
obnoxious.

“How Not to Lose Your Head to Henry VIII (Part 1).” September 15, 1971.
In Jolly old England, Sam notices a nobleman who is trapped in a portrait in an art museum. She frees
him, causing the wrath of the witch who placed him there. She sends Sam back to the court of Henry
VIII. First episode of the eighth and final season.

“How Not to Lose Your Head to Henry VIII (Part 2).” September 22, 1971.
Endora sends Darrin back in time to rescue Samantha. The problem: he has to convince her to kiss
him, and she won't know who he is.

“Bewitched, Bothered and Baldoni.” October 13, 1971.
Endora brings the Statue of Venus to life and, as she is played by Francine York, it is hard for any of
the men to control themselves in her presence.

“Paris, Witch’s Style.” October 20, 1971.
Maurice decides to punish Darrin because he thinks he is the one who caused his beloved daughter to
travel through Europe without telling him. Even Endora tries to protect Darrin in this one.

“A Plague on Maurice and Samantha.” November 10, 1971.
Samantha loses her magical powers due to her constant contact in the mortal world. Maurice visits and
falls “plague” to the same thing.

“Hansel and Gretel in Samanthaland.” November 17, 1971.
Tabitha zaps herself into her “Hansel and Gretel” storybook, while zapping Hansel and Gretel to the modern day. Sam searches for Tabitha while Darrin roams the neighborhood searching for Hansel and Gretel.

“The Warlock in the Gray Flannel Suit.” December 1, 1971.
When Darrin won't allow Samantha to attend her cousin’s wedding (is this a power trip with him?),
Endora decides to get even by trying to get him fired from his job.

“The Eight-Year Itch Witch.” December 8, 1971.
Endora once again sets out to test Darrin's fidelity to Samantha, this time with Julie Newmar as the bait.

“3 Men and a Witch on a Horse.” December 15, 1971.
Endora puts a spell on Darrin, turning him into a compulsive gambler who gets his hot tips from
Tabitha’s rocking horse.

“Adam, Warlock or Washout.” December 29, 1971.
Adam’s magic powers are tested by the Witch’s Council. Maurice decides to give him a booster shot.
“Samantha on Thin Ice.” January 29, 1972.
Darrin challenges Samantha to learn ice skating the “mortal way” along with Tabitha.
“School Days, School Daze.” March 4, 1972.
Endora casts a spell which makes Tabitha a genius.

“A Good Turn Never Goes Unpunished.” March 11, 1972.
Darrin thinks that Sam used witchcraft when she comes up with a winning slogan for a client. This
leads to a fight, and Sam (with the kids) running home to Mama on cloud nine.