I Lost My Mobile At the Mall (4 page)

I wake up with a list of 'or elses', including: Jai's murder, Bianca's assassination, or sweet, sweet revenge. I still have my camera, after all, and getting totally embarrassing photos of Jai shouldn't be that hard. (Given that if he's awake and breathing, he's embarrassing.) Then I can put them up on my FacePlace mirror and invite the world to have a look! I stash my camera in my schoolbag and go back to bed, kiss my stuffed pink pig and dream of Will.

I got to school late because I usually set the alarm on my phone. I forgot I didn't have it, totally slept in and missed the bus.

I look across the maths classroom now and one of Jai's stupid mates sticks his tongue out at me and goes, 'Ow ow ow, hot, hot', impersonating me with a chilli prawn on my tongue.
Right! That does it!
If one more person mimes me singing into a hairbrush or with my hair over my face and growling like a Yeti or 'smoking' a pen, I am going to
lose it!
It seems like the whole of Year Nine has checked out Jai's FacePlace.

This sucks, big-time!

I'm staring across at Bianca and trying to give her the evil eye. But this is impossible because today her hair is sort of weirdly teased up at the back like a pot scourer, and the front is hanging down, parted in the middle like a yellow shower curtain and I can't see her eyes. She must know that I am still furious with her. The last time we spoke I slammed Nan's phone down in her ear. She turns, parts her hair a bit and smiles at me. I glare back. By rights, I should never speak to her again.

Except I am reminded of a saying my dad always quotes: 'Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.' Some old Chinese warrior said it, apparently. (Although what use this is in Dad's work at Ascot Couriers is a mystery. Shouldn't he be quoting Winston Churchill: 'We shall fight on the beaches'? Dad's always coming home with his trousers torn by this huge cross-breed dog in a house at Gummy Beach.)

So the line from the old Chinese guy means that I should pretend nothing's happened and be really friendly with Bianca. This will put me in a better position to get some truly hideous pics of Jai. I reach down and pat my school bag. The camera's still there, charged and ready to go.

As I'm thinking about all this, I see a pile of golden curls bob past the window on its way to the sports ground. It's Will, heading for the oval with his mob from Year Ten.

I'll catch him under the jacaranda tree near the back fence at lunch. That's where he goes to chill. Maybe he'll have some ideas for incriminating photographs. If I could possibly get a shot of Jai renting the
Mamma
Mia!
DVD his reputation would be toast.

The bell rings and I head for the door. Bianca's peering at me through her hair curtain and shuffling closer. She's looking a bit guilty, which is a start, I suppose. If she was a BF worthy of the title, she would have demanded Jai take down the photos straight away. I am just about to tell her this when I remember the line about keeping your enemies closer.

I give her a kiss and compliment her on her hair. (Liar!)

'Hey, Jell . . . er . . . I mean, Elly. Love your plaits,' Bianca beams.

I've worn plaits today because I have decided to mount a one-woman campaign to make them fashionable again. With my tanned skin and long brown hair, I look a bit Native American, which is pretty 'on trend' I reckon.

I can't help noticing that Bianca's hair has a slight greenish tinge. She's been spending too much time in her swimming pool again. Her dad's a maniac with the chlorine. He doesn't get the leaves and gunk out, just pours more and more stuff in it till you can taste it. On a hot day it feels like you're swimming in tom yum soup. The chlorine makes the peroxide streaks in Bianca's hair turn sort of mouldy. Erk!

I don't say anything about this, of course, and then, just as I am following Bianca down the stairs, Jai jumps in between us.

'We're all going to Palatial Pizzas for our first freebie, you wanna come, Bianca?' he asks. His beady eyes are like two black olive pips. Up close I can see his flaky skin and yellow pimples. He's got a face like a barbecue special, with extra cheese. But then, Bianca must be a meat-lover, 'cos she just nods and giggles.

'So, um, you want to come, Elly?' Bianca asks. 'After all, it's 'cos of you that we . . . er . . .'

Bianca runs out of things to say here. After all, what can she say?
It's 'cos of your humiliation that we can all go
and stuff our faces? A free thin-and-crispy crust means more to
me than our entire friendship?

I make some pathetic excuse about having to meet Tilly and then just walk away. I could go and try to get some ugly shots of Jai feeding his face, but now's not the time. He'd know what I was up to. Besides, I don't think I could manage to swallow one bite if I had to look at him. (BTW, up close he smells like an anchovy. Eeeyew!)

'So, I'll save you a piece!' Bianca calls after me.

Yeah, Bianca! Like a piece of cold pizza will somehow make up for all the mortification your jerk boyfriend has caused me! I can feel tears coming and I escape into the toilets so no-one can see. I'm looking in the mirror and wiping my eyes with a scrap of paper towel when one of the girls from Year Ten starts scoping me out.

'Hey, Pickering! Didn't recognise you without that shower cap on your head,' says the blob with mouse-brown frizz on top.

I am just about to have a complete nervous breakdown when I hear a cubicle door open behind me.

'Rack off, you freak!' yells Tilly.

'You're a pair of pickled . . .
losers
!' Furball replies and then makes fast escape.

So lame! Pickled onion, pickled herring, pick-yourri-ng . . . I've heard it all before.

Then Tilly turns to me, bottom lip stuck out, her face a perfect portrait of sympathy.

'Hey, Elly,' she says. 'I've heard what's been happening. It's
so
not fair.'

And it's like the dam breaks and I am in Tilly's arms, crying really hard. I hear a few people stick their head in the door and say
Uh-oh!
and then leave again. Now the word will get round that Jai has made me cry. That's the last thing I wanted that low-life to know and I cry even harder.

'You know what, Els? I've got a good idea,' says Tilly.

And I can hear from the tone of her voice that it is a good idea. I hope it's one of Tilly's award-winning good ideas.

Tilly is one clever gal. She's brilliant at maths and science. She's a champion swimmer and plays the flute. Not only that, she is quite beautiful. (This happened only recently when she suddenly grew these amazing long legs and had her braces removed.) She has white skin, but perfectly straight chocolate brown hair and greenish eyes, like me. Only her eyes are an elegant almond shape, where mine are round, like walnuts. With all this you'd think she would be utterly graceful and kind to all, but she does have an evil streak in her. Sometimes she uses her dark arts on me, but mostly we're cool.

'That Jai is a serial pest,' says Tilly, her eyes narrowing.

She pauses and I can almost hear her thinking.

'What we need are some classic pics of him to use for our own evil purposes.'

I stop sniffling. That's exactly what I was thinking!

'We are sisters after all, El. Let's face it, you can't go through life with a chronic name like Pickering and not develop a few revenge strategies. When we get home tonight we'll get down to business. Until then, just stay clear of him. And by the way, you have snot coming out your nose.'

Tilly leans in to the mirror and applies balm to her pretty lips (she's addicted to the stuff) while I mop up my watery snot. Then she smacks a kiss at me and leaves. I head off to find sanctuary with Will under the jacaranda tree.

I find Will alone, kicking back, lying on the grass and looking at the sky through the branches. I resist the urge to ask him:
What are you thinking?
I've asked him this before and usually his reply doesn't make much sense:
Nothing. Everything. Just random disconnected stuff.
That's where you find the truth.
(Huh?)

As I suspected, he hasn't seen the pics. Will hardly ever goes on FacePlace. They've only got one laptop at his house and his mum Jasmine uses it most of the time. The Phillips family live right on the beach at Hammerhead. I love their house. It's an old wooden shack, jammed full of Jasmine's water colours and pottery. There are surfboards stacked in every corner and more still are piled up on the roof beams with the Tibetan prayer flags, driftwood and crusty old lanterns covered in shells and dried barnacles.

His dad Took (that's his nickname, I think his real name's Greg) is a full-on old surf rat greenie. He's always ranting about how much he hates computers and mobile phones – all the 'techno-horrors', he calls them.

'They make the world move too fast,' says Took. 'They're like a rope around your freakin' neck. People reckon they can ring you any time they like or send you some dopey email or message and tell you what's on their mind. If they just sat and thought about it for a minute, they wouldn't be spouting such nonstop bullshit!

'Those bogans out in West Britannia use their technology to get these tiny pictures of the surf sent to 'em on their mobile phones. Pictures big as a postage stamp! What's that about? And then, if there are any waves, they come in droves down here and hassle the locals. There's no respect for the surf life any more. I live here on the beach where I can smell and see and hear the ocean, be part of it all.
That's
what it's about.'

When he gets on one of his raves, it can go on for hours . . .

'There are three million computers sold in this country every year. The greedy leeches suck down fossil fuels and most of 'em end up in landfill where all the filthy chemicals inside all that shiny new metal and plastic – mercury, barium, flame retardants, lead, chromium and cadmium – get into the waterways and kill fish and birds. I'd ban computers. And mobile phones. Every last one of 'em.

'When I was a kid . . .'

Sometimes, though, Will gets to go on his mum's computer and check out the surf sites. He has got a mobile, but I don't think Took even knows the number.

I sit on the grass next to Will and tell the whole story about what's on the net and he stands up and tears at his tie. He paces the grass. I can see that he's mad and I'm grateful.

'Why do you even look at this stuff, Elly?' Will says. 'Dad's right. It's all bogus! You want me to pay out on that redneck?' he asks fiercely.

I just smile like a cat and tell Will that I already have a payback in mind for Jai and he grins back at me.

'Sweet! I knew you would. That's what I like about you, Elly, you're strong and independent. Most chicks would go into total meltdown over something like this. And what you have to remember is that anything that's said about you in cyberspace isn't really real. It's like, in another universe.'

There's one thing in this speech that makes me take notice:
That's what I like about you
. Why didn't Will say:
That's what I LOVE about you.
Still, anything Will says makes my insides melt and go gooey until I'm a soft-centre caramel. He could read from the Oldcastle Yellow Pages and I would be standing there looking at him like that dopey Puss in Boots from
Shrek
.

And then he leans in and kisses me and I see the golden light shifting through the golden branches above and it occurs to me that as long as Will wants to kiss me, it doesn't matter what the world says. And then I think of Jai again and it's like a nasty orc is peering at me from behind a tree in Lothlórien.

'Hey, where's your ring?' says Will, noticing the bare finger on the hand I place on his warm chest.

The magic spell is broken. I have to admit that I've lost the friendship ring he gave me – the darling silver one with the tiny blue stones.

'Elly!' he moans. 'That ring cost me heaps! I had to work at the surf shop for six Saturday mornings straight to get the money for that ring! You should have been more careful if you knew you were gunna just lose it.'

I can't believe he's sounding just like my mother and father! OK, so I lost my mobile. I lost my handbag. I lost the ring. But it's as if they're more important than me in person. It's only 'stuff' after all. Stuff's always getting lost. Why doesn't anyone ever think about all the stuff they've
found
? Sometimes it seems like people value stuff more than actual, breathing human beings.

I wonder if things go missing for a reason. As if by their absence, they might be trying to tell you something. To make you see life in a new way. Then I think of my lost friendship ring and I wonder what that means for Will and me?

I hate thinking stuff like this!

The bell rings and Will and I trudge back across the oval, not looking at each other.

'So, here's the plan,' says Tilly, in between blowing on ten perfectly painted purple fingernails.

She leans over the pile of junk on her unmade bed in the South Wing of Buckingham Palace and looks me straight in the eye.

'I happen to know for a fact that Jai is always making moves on Lily Cameron from Year Twelve. Georgie Daniels told me.'

I gasp, even though I wouldn't put anything past Jai. Does Bianca know about this? If she did, she would be devastated.

'We all have a good laugh about it,' Tilly giggles and wiggles, swishing her hair over her shoulders. 'Lily goes out with Jai's older brother Jayden, right? So she's over at his house a lot. Every time Jayden's not looking, Jai's showing off in front of Lily – bombing her in the pool or parading around in his bathers and showing off his weedy body. She said he's even asked her out! Even though he's two years younger. Can you ever imagine a Year Twelve girl going for someone like Jai? It's so
utterly
pathetic!'

I can't help feeling sorry for Bianca. If Will ever did that behind my back . . .!

'So this is what we do. We have to get Jai in some sort of compromising position with Lily – without Bianca or Jayden knowing. I snap away and then post the photos.
Lah de dee, la de dah!
' Tilly clicks her fingers in front of my nose. 'No more Jai and Bianca. And of course, Jayden will be totally furious! He'll want to kill Jai! That should teach him a lesson.'

I'm not feeling entirely comfortable with this. Apart from not particularly wanting to break up Jai and Bianca, I'm not even sure it's legal.

I tell Tilly that I think this is called 'entrapment' and lean over to google it on her laptop. I find 2,610,000 mentions.

Entrapment is the inducing, by a law enforcer, of a person to commit
a crime which ordinarily they may not have been likely to commit.
In some circumstances entrapment may serve as a defence against
criminal guilt.

'That's what Bianca and Jai did to you! OK, they're not law enforcers – but apart from that, it's exactly the same,' Tilly continues. 'You were making an idiot of yourself . . .'

I wasn't making an 'idiot' of myself. I was just having fun. It was supposed to be private. I never thought for a moment that the pictures Bianca took would end up
on the net
!

'. . . and all of a sudden there's a camera in your face,' says Tilly.

She's right. There was that bloke who plays footy for the Sovereigns who came out of the London Tavern drunk. Some girls followed him and filmed him on their mobiles and that footage ended up on the TV news! Like Tilly's boyfriend Eddie says – there are cameras everywhere these days. Soon everyone will have to have an extreme makeover just to go down the shops.

'I reckon what happened to you sounds like "entrapment", don't you?' argues Tilly.

I have to nod that it does, but I can't believe Bianca did it on purpose. She's usually guilty of being brainless more than anything else. Why would she want to humiliate me?

'You know what I reckon, Els?' says Tilly as she slumps back on her bed and attacks herself with lip balm (again). 'I reckon Jai and Bianca did it so that Will would see the photos and then dump you.'

I'm shocked! Well, I suspected this, but to hear it out of someone else's mouth! Could Bianca really be that calculating?

'Bianca's a blonde bimbo and she's totally jealous of you. Anyone can see that,' Tilly snorts.

If this is what Jai and Bianca had in mind then it WON'T WORK! Even if Will did see those dumb shots, he wouldn't care! Our relationship is stronger than that.

Now I'm angry!

'The thing is,' says Tilly. 'All the girls at Oldcastle adore Will and all the boys want to be like him. And you're the one that got him. You're pretty, and intelligent. You two are like this perfect, golden couple.'

I have to smile. That's what it feels like when I'm with Will.

'So of course everyone wants to break you up! People hate perfection. It just makes them feel inadequate. And that bully Jai is leading the way.'

Well, if that's what they really want, I'll never give them the satisfaction. I tune in to all the details of Tilly's plan and I have to say, it's perfectly evil! Bring it on!

Back in The Dungeon I'm tempted to go on Jai's FacePlace again and see if anyone else has had anything rude to say about me. But I manage to hold back from torturing myself one more time. Like Will says, anything that's on there's not really real.

Instead, something Tilly said about Jai being a bully makes me think and I google 'cyberbullying'. There are 1,130,000 mentions.

Cyberbullying is when one or many people use technology such as the
internet, mobile telephones or other electronic devices, to mock, embarrass,
insult or defame another person or persons.

That's EXACTLY what's happening to me! So what should I do? There's plenty of advice here.

• Tell your parents.
  

I did that already and what did Mum say? 'Turn the computer off.'

• Tell your teachers.
  

Hah! Like the crocks at Oldcastle High would take me seriously! My English teacher, Mr York, is the only one who's got a FacePlace site and there are these pathetic pictures of his sad model trains on it! Like Mum, the teachers would just say 'put down your mouse and walk away'.

BTW: Isn't it weird that all the advice about how to deal with cyberbullies tells you to turn off the computer – but if you didn't have your computer, where would you go for advice?

I don't know what I'd do without the internet. Being without my mobile is bad enough . . .
but the net
?

Don't even talk about it!

I search around a bit more and there is one paragraph here that catches my eye:
Like drinking and
driving, the internet and emotions should never be mixed. Don't
react or you could end up being a cyberbully yourself.

Is that what Tilly's plan might do? Turn me into a cyberbully and escalate this whole thing into World War III? Still, I can't be a wimp about it – Jai started it so he will get what he deserves! If he feels inadequate now, wait till I get through with him. He'll be lower than a snake's armpit.