I Know What Love Is (27 page)

I rear back, giving her some relief, but I don't let her get too comfortable. I love the way her jaw stretches open to try to fit all of me in. I love how the tears run down her cheeks as she gags and chokes on me. I plunge back inside of her hot mouth, the sensation tightening my stomach and making my heart stop. I see her gripping the rope with her fingers until her knuckles turn white, her wrists already red and raw from the rough twine. Saliva drips down onto her tits as her mouth gushes around me. She's so goddamn beautiful.

My Joan.

I pull out of her and she coughs and drags air in to her lungs. “Is that all you got?” she asks breathlessly, taunting me. I smile, tightening my hand in her hair. She whimpers, her eyes on my cock.

“No,” I say. “Not even close.”

I buck my hips, my cock coming within centimeters of her lips. She opens her mouth and darts out her tongue, ready for me to slide inside. But now it's my turn to tease. She wants it, so I keep it from her. She tries to lean forward and claim me, but I don't loosen my grip in her hair. She lets out a frustrated groan and I finally have mercy on her.

“Beg,” I say. Pride flares up in her eyes and I smack her cheek with my dick to remind her who's in charge. “Beg,” I repeat.

“
Please,” she whispers. “
Please
, Elliot.”

"Open your mouth." She follows my instructions, but it's not good enough. "Wider." She drops her jaw so that I can see her tonsils, squirming against her bonds. I guide my cock against her tongue, the watching almost as good as the feeling. She runs her tongue up the underside of me, and my eyes roll up inside my head.

This is what I dreamt about all those years ago on that first night. Well, almost. Back then, I didn't dream big enough. I dreamt about keeping her all for myself, dominating her and making her submit, but I didn't realize how much better it could be. When she looks in my eyes, I know. We're in this shit together.

We're a team.

That's the best fucking part.

I want to come and watch her swallow it down, but I also don't want to let this moment go to waste. I'm free, for now. I'm not an idiot, I know the odds aren't good. I'm a fugitive, and that shit isn't gonna go away just because I'm a better man now than when I went in.

Well, maybe I'm not better. But I'm trying to be.

Joanie deserves it, after all she's been through.

She also deserves all the punishment I've got planned for her.

I jerk my cock out of her mouth before I blow and smile when she moans. Her moans are music to my ears, but they're not enough. I'm ready to hear her scream.

I release her hair and some of her dark strands still cling to my fingers. I watch them float off in the breeze, then I haul her up by her hips. She gasps, teetering on her tiptoes, trying to get her balance.

My hands holding her steady, I drop to my knees, her pussy level with my gaze. She's wet already, but I want her dripping and shaking and gushing. I want to know how much she wants me. Every night in my cell, I would think about the times I made her want me, the times she moaned and softened and looked at me like I was something other than a monster.  Then she sent me pictures of her with other men, while they touched her and did what I wanted to do so badly. I would curse and rage at how trapped I was. Now that I'm free to do what I want to her, I take my time, licking a slow path from her clit upwards. Her knees shake, but I've got her.

She won't fall.

She arches her back, the low light through the trees accentuating every muscle of her back, every bone of her spine, every inch of silky skin. God, I love her so much. I didn't think it was possible to love someone as much as I love Joanie. She has all of my goddamn soul. I French-kiss her pussy as the tide of emotion sweeps over me. I'll do anything to have her. I've already killed for her. I'll kill again if I have to. I hope it won't come to that, but I have no control over the future. The only thing I can control is the here and now, her orgasm and mine.

She tosses her head back, a low cry escaping her lips, as I circle her clit and suck on her sweet flesh. I'm almost ready. Almost. She clenches her thighs, her body jerking against my mouth. She's almost ready, too. I can feel it. Before she can come, I pull back.

“
El, please,” she moans, but I ignore her. I leave her aching for more, standing slowly, both hands encircling her hips. She's shaking and her breathing is quick and shallow, and I know I've made her want me, but my mind drifts back to the photos. The photo of her mouth around another man's cock. The one of another man's cock poised to enter her pretty pussy.  And my personal favorite—the picture where I could see her smile, at the edge of the print, as some other motherfucker did what I wanted to do so badly. I ripped all of the pictures to shreds and flushed them before I left the prison, but I wish I had that one, now. I wish I could let her know how that one felt.

The day I opened that letter, I beat a guy bloody in the cafeteria and ended up in solitary for two weeks. Two weeks to bang my head against the walls and break my knuckles on the concrete floor, thinking about her fucking other men and liking it. When they let me out, there was a new letter waiting for me, a new picture of her giving herself to someone other than me. The torture was never-ending.

The strange thing was the only thing that got me through my three years inside was that she continued sending letters. I would dread them and wait for them at the same time. Every time I got one of her blue envelopes, I knew she was still thinking about me, even as she tortured me. She still wanted me, in her way.

But that's all in the past now.

Well, it will be, once I'm finished punishing her.

*****

I roll my hips impatiently, wanting his hands to move, and wanting his tongue back against me. He's not moving though, he's simply standing behind me, so close I can feel the warmth radiating off his skin. Torturing me. Punishing me. My arms ache, my head is swimming, and my knees are practically knocking together, but I'm all in. 

I'm like a broken record. I go around and around, but my body always comes back to him.

He slides one hand up my hip and over my lower back, and I bite my lip in frustration. I know what's coming, and I've been waiting for it for the better part of three years. The waiting is killing me, hurting me, but for once, I don't mind the hurt. I'm expecting it, but it still takes me by surprise when he plunges his cock inside me, two fingers sliding into my ass at the same time. I almost scream, but I force my lips to clamp shut. He doesn't get it yet. The longer I wait, the better it'll be.

I close my eyes, my body melting around his. I can feel him stiffen behind me and he doesn't move, and I know he's been waiting for this moment as long as I have, and longer. I try to roll my hips and almost lose my balance, but he has a good hold on me. He moans as I fumble, trying to get him to move.

“Fuck me, baby,” he growls, and the sound practically knocks me on my ass. We both slam into each other, our bodies banging out a primitive rhythm. Every inch of his evil cock fills me up, over and over again. He thrusts a third finger inside my tightness and I finally let him have it.

I scream, loud. The sound echoes off the trees and my throat feels jagged, ripped out. He grips my hip as he fucks me harder and harder. I know I did well, because he's become unhinged. I can feel how turned on he is. I can feel him swell inside me and stretch me. I'm on the edge of losing my mind too, and I don't care.

“You like how I do it, don't you?” he asks, breathless.

“
Yes
,” I moan, wondering why I ever bothered with anyone else. No one else ever made me feel the way Elliot does, for better or worse. Ever since the night in the motel room, he's haunted me. I've dreamt of him. I've done things I never thought I would do. We've both been stupid. We've both been destructive and violent and bad. But all of that is past. In the here and now, it's all us.

Us
.

I'll figure all the rest of it out later.

“I wish I had two cocks to fuck you properly,” he says, his fingers stilling inside of my ass, and I arch my back, the pain-pleasure hitting me in the stomach. I'm so close to coming, I just need
more
.

“
Harder,” I gasp. “Fuck me harder.” He takes his hand away from my hip, and smacks me hard on the ass. The sting vibrates down my legs and I teeter, almost losing my balance. I cry out as he grabs me again, steadying me as the rope cuts into my wrists.

“
You take what I give you,” he says, his voice strained like his jaw is clenched.

“
Then give it to me,” I whisper, taunting him.

“
Ungrateful,” he hisses, but I can hear the uptick in his voice. I realize he likes it when I'm feisty. That makes me smile, but I hide it from him, letting the curtain of my hair fall in front of my face. “I'm gonna wipe that smile off your face, Joanie,” he says, bucking his hips and plunging his fingers deep. That only makes me smile more, and I can't help it. He loops his arm around my waist, bending over me. His chest brushes against my back, and all my nerves fire off at once. I love the way his skin feels against mine. I clench myself around him and dig my ankles in. I'm ready and so is he. He growls in my ear as he speeds up his pace. I'm trying hard to hold on when all I want to do is let go.

He swerves his hips and it feels incredible, like all of my dreams have come true in that moment. I'm about to break and then he thrusts his fingers in and out. His fingers and his cock work in harmony in a beautiful way. My body pulses around him and I'm done for. I hear a strangled cry and I know it's me. I lose control of myself, jerking and tightening and throbbing as my orgasm rushes through me like a hurricane. I feel swept up, my head spinning and my mouth gaping open. I want him to fill me up, every hole. I want him in my mouth, in my pussy, in my ass. I want him all over and everywhere.

I want everything.

For as long as I can have it.

He pulls out of me and my whole body clenches. I scream in frustration, wanting him back but he doesn't listen. He lets out a jagged cry and I feel his climax spurting on my back. His orgasm goes on and on and he covers me with his come. I can feel it dripping down my ribs and I shiver in unabashed delight. Then he plunges his cock back into me, ready for a second helping.

He's insatiable.

He fucks me for what feels like hours, until my wrists are raw and bleeding and my legs give out.  I take my punishment with a smile on my face because I know I've earned it. It makes me proud to know that I've given him almost as much pain as he's given me.

We're almost even.

Almost.

Chapter Twenty-one

W
e change out of our mud-covered clothes and then we get back on the road and drive for hours. I play the hard rock station and he smiles like he's surprised at the music I like. We stop at a little gas station on the border of Kansas and Colorado. I pull up to the pump and we both get out. I pay in cash and Elliot heads to the small bathroom around back. I switch out the license plates and we wash up as best as we can in the little sink, fill up our tank, and get back on the road.

We reach Denver a day later than I planned. We're both dead tired; I can barely keep my eyes open. It's dark and I drive around until I find a decent sized hotel with a pool and a big parking lot. I pull around back and park by a big dumpster that partially obscures the car. I feel Elliot's eyes on me and I glance his way. He's wondering what we're doing. He's wondering if it's smart. And he's wondering why I'm not asking him what he thinks we should do.

“Trust me,” I say. He puts a ball cap on and pulls it low on his forehead as I park. “Stay here. I'll be back,” I tell him and I turn off the car and open the door. I pause for a moment, considering whether to take the keys with me. The pause doesn't escape his notice and he stares at me, his eyes unreadable in the darkness. “Hand me my purse,” I say. He doesn't move a muscle. “Please,” I add, cocking an eyebrow. A moment passes and then he reaches down between his legs and pulls up my leather bag. I take it from him, my breath catching in my throat as he leans closer. “I'll be back,” I repeat.

“
I'll be waiting,” he says as I step out of the car. I freeze as I feel his fingers drag up my thigh. I shiver as he hits the sensitive spot under my ass. A slow smile spreads across my face. His touch promises bad things, dirty things. Fucking him in a big, clean bed until we both pass out sounds like heaven to me right about then. I shut the door behind me and hurry toward the entrance. I glance around me, even though there's no one around to take notice. There's a enough cars parked around that I know my little Ford will go unnoticed. A man in a worn cowboy hat is smoking by the door and I nod in his direction. To be unfriendly would be more noticeable, I reckon, even in a big city like Denver. I step into the bright, air-conditioned lobby with an easy smile on my face.

“
Hello,” the barely-out-of-her-teens girl at the desk says, and I widen my smile to match hers. “How are you tonight?”

“
Just peachy, thanks.” I pull out my credit card, secure in the knowledge that everybody I know thinks I'm in Denver for a job interview. I told them I'd be here a day earlier, but I tell myself that doesn't matter. “I need a room for the night.”