I Dream of Zombies (22 page)

“Come on in,” Leonie welcomed them. “It will be dark soon and then they come out.”

Marla smiled and walked inside. “Thanks for letting us stay like this.”

“No bother. There have been a few people passing through
. Normally a few at a time. No big groups. But I thought you said there were more of you?”

“My friend is staying in the car with his dog,” Marla replied, “in case he barks. He’s going to move the car down the street,
further away, just in case he does.”

“Right. Thanks, that’s considerate
. Not a lot of people would think of that.”

Marla sighed. “Ah, he thinks of everything.”

“One of those?” asked Leonie, raising her eyebrows. She bolted the door several times and flicked up a board that covered the letterbox. “Lucky for you that I forgot to do that before,” she admitted.

“How long have you been here?”
Ellen asked.

Leonie furrowed her brow. “Since everything started. We just chose to stay.”

“But why?”

“Next door is my home. I was born there. My parents are old and I’m their carer, basically. My husband and brother help out, and then there’s my son. I didn’t want to move everyone. There was a couple who ran this shop
, and they went with the evacuees and told us we could take it over. When they come back, when all this is over, we’ll just get out of their way again.”

Marla nodded, although she was
surprised at the woman’s belief that everything could go back to normal. She had no idea what normal was anymore.

“Anyway, come through
into the lounge. You can all sleep in here, if that’s okay?”

“Great,” said Marla. “I can’t thank you enough.”

“Well, this is it. Make yourself at home. There are two sofas and I have some blankets upstairs.”

“We have two sleeping bags,” said Marla.

“Joanna, you can have mine for tonight. It’s really comfy. And please take the sofa,” Ellen offered. “I can manage with the floor and a blanket.”

“Thanks,” said the girl in a hollow tone
.

“I can give you dinner too,” said Leonie. “I made a cheese and potato pie, and I also have
vegetarian chilli and rice. You are welcome to have anything you like. I can’t cook meat because it attracts them outside.”

“That’s really kind of you and it sounds great
.”

Leonie’s eyes lit up. “I’m glad to help. I’ll stay with you here with my husband, but my brother and son are at the house with my parents. You might get to meet them in the morning though. Right, I’ll just warm up the food and put the kettle on, and then I’ll check what you fancy.” With that, she opened the door and walked into the kitchen, allowing the smell of food to wander
out.

“She’s nice,” Ellen remarked.

“Lovely,” Marla replied, “but you don’t need to take the floor. I will. You have the sofa.”

Ellen shook her head. “I’m not arguing, sis. You take the sofa. You’re the one who is driving and stuff. I don’t really do anything.”

“That’s not true,” said Marla.

“Isn’t it?” asked Ellen. “I was useless in...” She stopped when she saw the look on Joanna’s face. “I mean I’m useless in not being able to help with the driving.”

“Driving is overrated,” said Devan, helping her to change the subject.

Ellen smiled. “It’s the other drivers that get me. You have to concentrate on what they’re doing. It doesn’t matter if you’re a good driver or not – you have to check that they’re doing the right stuff too. And most of the time it just looks really stressful.
I’d probably just abandon the vehicle in a traffic jam!”

“But it makes you feel free,” Marla argued. “You can get in your car and go anywhere.”

“Angelica was learning to drive,” said Joanna quietly. She stared down at her hands.

“I’m sure she was a good driver,” Ellen answered softly.

Joanna looked up. “She was. She promised that when she got a car, we would drive everywhere together. Everywhere…”

Ellen rolled on to her side under her blanket and looked over at Devan who was lying on the flo
or a small distance away. Joanna and Marla were sound asleep. She could hear the low snore of her sister, although it was something she would never tell her that she did. Otherwise she would have to endure the Wrath of Marla. “How are you?” she whispered in the darkness. Hearing a rustle, she imagined Devan turning.

“
Not great,” he admitted. “You?”

“Same, but I feel safe here.
You know, under a roof and everything. Feels normal.”

“I’m feeling
far wide of normal. Wondering if I’m ever gonna feel normal again.”

“Do you feel guilty about what happened?” Ellen asked, and then wanted to kick herself for being so blunt.

Devan sighed. “You just come out with things, don’t you?”

“
Erm, not always, but I figured you might need to talk. I noticed Joanna can’t look at you, and I saw from your face...”

“Yeah, it’s shit. I feel like shit. I shot her.”

“You did the right thing, Devan,” Ellen insisted. “And she asked you.”

“
No I didn’t – I shot someone, and euthanasia is illegal. It’s a sin. Killing someone is wrong.”

“What about the other people... I mean the dead... you think shooting them is wrong?”

“Of course not.”

“W
hat’s the difference?” she asked. “They are people too.”

“No,
they’re not fucking people,” he corrected her, raising her voice. “They
were
people. And one of them…”

“Shush, Devan. My sister will wake…”

“Yeah and she’s so fucking perfect! She doesn’t think twice about killing anyone and you look up to her.”

“Devan, please. I know you’re upset, but…”

“Jesus, what do you want from me?”

“I o
nly want to help. I thought you’d need to talk.”

“Yeah, but you said she asked me. How crazy is that? It doesn’t make it right. She
had no choice but to ask as she’d turn into one of those monsters who… It doesn’t matter. Fuck it. She’s dead. What’s the use?”

“You stopped her becoming one of them, that’s what I’m trying to say.”

“Fucking great.”

“Sorry.”

Devan laid back and sighed, turning his ideas over in his head. “I think they’re in purgatory,” he said eventually. “My mum believed in God, but not my dad. He always took the mick out of her for it, but I’ve been thinking about it more and more.”

“
Maybe. In purgatory. Neither living nor dead, just wandering in between.” Ellen heard a rustle and sensed Devan had moved closer to her. When he spoke, she knew it to be true by his tone. It was louder.

“I know
she asked me, Ellen, and I know she had no chance, but it doesn’t change anything to me. I can’t even bring myself to say her name. She was alive when I shot her. She wasn’t dead. That’s murder, however you look at it. And I had to face her sister right after. That’s what’s eating me up. I think I’m damned now because I murdered someone.”

“
I don’t think you’re damned, Devan. And you didn’t murder anyone. Not in the way it used to mean. You spared her from becoming one of those things – demons or whatever. I don’t know what they are.”

He sighed again.
“Maybe.” His voice was breaking and she wondered if he was crying.

“You know, I
don’t know what to call these not-dead people. To me, they are still alive, even though some of them look more like skeletons. Sometimes I think it’s not real and that it’s a dream – like the dreams I was having before – and they’ve just come true.”

“You dream
about them?” Devan asked.

“Every night. I have done ever since the whole thing started.”

“How do you sleep?”

Ellen paused. “I dunno. I got used to it, I guess, but I still think I’m going to wake up and all of this will have been a nightmare, because how can it be true? How can the dead be walking?”

“Because they are – because we can see them,” Devan replied. “That’s how I know they are real.”

“But that’s my point. We’re living in a different world
now. Things have changed. I don’t think there are any rules any more. I don’t think you can say what is right and wrong... when it comes down to what you did.”

“You need rules
or what will we have – people running around with guns just taking what they want?” he asked. “That’s how it’s going to end...”

“Not necessarily. Good people will know to be good. I always think good prevails.”

“Why?”

“Because it just has to.
”

“You me
an karma – the rules of karma?”

Ellen nodded. “Maybe, b
ut I know you should treat people how you would like to be treated yourself.”

“True, but I believe God’s watching everything we do. I don’t think it has much to do with karma. I see people doing bad things and getting away with it, but God sees everything. Like my mum used to tell me when I was a kid.”

“But he would know you did nothing wrong.”

“I don’t know, Ellen.”

“If you were in Angelica’s situation, what would you do?”

Devan hesitated. “The same.
I would have asked to die.” He knew it was a sin, but he didn’t say it out loud. The girl had other ideas.

“And what would we have done?”
Ellen asked slowly.

He paused again. “The same.”

She was silent, waiting for him to speak. He turned on his back in the darkness and replied, “You’re wise, Ellen. Thanks for trying to help.”

She
smiled slightly. “Sometimes, but I can’t do what you do.”

“What’s that?”

“Shoot one. I can’t.”

He moved his hand under his head and rested on his side.

“You will,” he replied. “There will come a time when you have to. Even if you think it goes against everything you are, you’ll do it.”

“You seem sure.”

“Been there,” he added. “I did what I never believed I could.” And I damned myself, he thought.

Marla knocked gently on the window of the passenger door. She saw Bob wake up first. “Shush,” she said, pressing her face up to the glass and moving her hand up and down in the gesture she’d seen Tommy use when trying to quieten down the Labrador. It seemed to work as the dog sat up straight and just stared back at her, thumping his tail on the floor.

Tommy stirred and Marla smiled as she watched him open his eyes lazily, almost rolling
from the backseat on to the floor. He caught himself with his arm and gained a licked face from his faithful friend. “Down, boy,” he grumbled, wiping the slobber away. “You know if you were a cute bird I wouldn’t mind, but...” He stopped as he caught sight of Marla’s amused expression. “Darn it,” he added, sitting up in his boxers and Led Zeppelin T-shirt.

Pushing open the
car door, Tommy squinted in the stark sunlight. “With these dark windows I had no idea what time of day it was,” he admitted, sweeping his hair back from his face. “How did you sleep?” he asked as he tugged his jeans and boots on.

“Great,” Marla replied,
as a waggy-tailed Bob pushed past her. She patted him on the head and his tongue starting lolling. “Don’t get any ideas about licking my face, you. That’s out of bounds.”

“Even for me?” asked Tommy.

“Especially you! Now get up and come inside. There’s breakfast and a shower waiting.”

Tommy
thought about the latter and resisted making the obvious naughty remark. Stepping out of the car, he kicked out his stiff legs and did a couple of knee bends.

“Shaping up for the Olympics, are we?”

He laughed. “I think I’m past all that.”

Marla grinned. “How was it out here?” she asked
in a serious tone, watching him take his stuff out of the boot and lock up.

“Not bad,” he replied. “The freaks came out, but luckily
, Bob didn’t bother barking at them. He was out like a light, quicker than me. It was kind of surreal. There were all these freaks walking around and there was just me. They couldn’t see me, but they still kept coming up to the car. I drifted off after a while.”

“
They could smell you.”

“
Guess so, but it was bizarre yesterday how they didn’t react to the fire. You know, that’s a basic instinct – fear of fire. All animals have it, but they didn’t flinch. Walked straight into it.”

“That
proves they really can’t feel anything,” Marla reasoned. “They can see, walk and they want to kill us, but they can’t feel anything, physically, it seems. I’ve seen some with parts of their bodies missing, and this explains it. So, they really have no feelings, emotional or physical.”

“Just raw instinct and a desire to kill,” Tommy added.

Marla shivered. “That gives me the heebie-jeebies,” she said, knocking on the shop door.

“So what’s for breakfast?”

She smiled slightly. “Surprise!”

Leonie opened the door and welcomed them in. “Hi, I’m Leonie, and who is the furry one?”

“That’s Bob. He tends to steal the show. Don’t worry, I’ll keep him from barking. He normally only does it when he’s wound up, scared or defending someone. Most of the time he’s pretty laid back.”

“He’s a cutie,” she replied, bending down and stroking him.

“And I’m Tommy,” he added, realising that she had only heard half of the words he’d spoken, if that. “He has more luck with the girls than I do.”

Leonie glanced up. “I can imagine,” she said, and Tommy
was not sure if to be feel amused or downright insulted. “Come in. I’ve got porridge, eggs and some veggie stuff going. Hungry?”

“Wow
,” he replied with a grin. “Now I’m damn starving.”

As if in agreement, Bob licked his
chops.

“I even have dog food,” Leonie added with a laugh. “This is the corner shop after all.”

Tommy chuckled and patted the Labrador on the head as they walked inside. “Nice place,” he said.

“Thanks, but it isn’t mine. The couple it belongs to were evacuated with their relatives. We stayed.”

“Brave decision.”

“I don’t think so,” Leonie answered. “It s
eemed the right thing to do. I care for my parents and I didn’t want to move them or uproot my son.”

Tommy nodded, unsure whether to condone her decision, but then hadn’t he just headed back to London to get his
stuff and his dog... and got someone killed in the process? He bit his tongue as he entered the lounge. “Hey,” he said as Ellen, Devan and Joanna glanced around.

“Hi,” they
replied in unison.

“You slept here last night?” he asked.

“Yeah, it was nice,” Ellen replied, and Marla noticed her give a sideways glance to Devan.

“Come into the kitchen,”
called Leonie, poking her head through the door. “There’s a table in here, Tommy. Come and eat. Everyone else has already. Want a coffee?”

“I wouldn’t say no.” He walked through with Bob chasing his heels and wagging his tail.

Joanna stared after the dog and turned around to stare at the wall blankly.

“Fancy a walk, Joanna?” Ellen asked. “Outside?”

The girl shook her head.

“Marla?”

“Sure. You want to come, Devan?” Marla added, knowing it would be uncomfortable for him to stay in the same room as Joanna.

Nodding, he got up quietly and put his trainers on.

Marla opened the door to the kitchen and peeked inside. “We’re just going to get some air. We won’t go far and I’m taking my gun.”

She left the house, followed by Ellen and Devan.
Outside, the sun was warm and a gentle breeze floated down the street. They passed the jeep, parked towards the end of the road, well away from the shop.

“It’s nice to just walk and stretch your legs, no?” asked Marla.

“Yeah,” Ellen replied, “but these last few days have been hard. It seems longer.”

Her sister nodded. “I know. I’m sorry. It sucks.”

“That’s the bloody understatement of the decade,” mumbled Devan, kicking a stone along the pavement.

Ellen laughed, despite herself, and glanced at Marla who was sc
owling slightly. “He’s joking.”

Marla eased up. “I guess. What’s your story, Devan?”

He threw his arms in the air. “There’s not much to tell. I was on that coach bound for the facility. My dad and brother went to a different one. My mother died when I was young. I always hated that, but now I’m kind of relieved she never saw what I... what the world has become. I’m glad she didn’t see it.”

Marla frowned again. “How come you didn’t go with your relatives?”

Devan shrugged. “I was somewhere else at the time. I travelled back, but I got there later than I meant to. I messed up.”

“I’m sure they’re
fine,” said Ellen, trying to soothe him. She glanced at Marla. “What’s your plan for today?”

“I was thinking maybe we could stay here for
one more night. Leonie has already offered and it might be good for Joanna. She’s in shock, I think, and Leonie is a nurse. I was hoping she... oh, God, sorry, Devan. I have a big mouth sometimes and I don’t think. Sorry, God knows how you must be feeling.”

Devan swallowed hard and glanced across the road. “I’m okay. Ellen spoke to me about it last night. She thinks I did the right thing.”

“She’s right. You did. I would’ve done the same... or tried to. What you did was brave. Tommy paused, I noticed, but you did the right thing. You ended her suffering.”

“So why do I feel like shit?” he asked, looking at her with red, teary eyes.
“I feel like... like a murderer.”

“Because you’re human,” suggested Marla. “I was in the army for years. I killed people. I’m not proud of it, but I had to. This is different. There is no grey area. Those things are not alive, so you’re not killing a person, just a
monster.”

“I keep reminding myself,” he replied. “Mind if we talk about something else?”

“Sure, but let’s get back to the house. The bottom of this street is as far as I trust us going.”

Ellen smiled at Devan and the three of them
wandered back to the shop. The sun was growing brighter and much as they would have liked to stay, they knew it was dangerous and even foolish. A young boy of about thirteen with a mop of blonde hair and blue eyes answered the door. He smiled awkwardly and stepped aside as they walked in.

“
Hi there,” said Marla. “What’s your name?”

“Darren,” the boy replied, looking at a point a little way
beyond her arm.

“I’m Marla. And this is Ellen and Devan.”

“Hi,” he said shyly as he closed the door. “My mum said to tell you she’s gone to check on my grandparents. She said sorry, but you can’t sit in the garden. She worries the monsters will hear us.”

“That’s fine, Darren,” said Marla.

“I have games. Do you want to play?” he asked. “My mum said you might stay.”

Marla smiled. “If it’s okay,
another night would be nice.”

He nodded shyly. “It’s okay.
I like your dog. Going to my room to get my games.”

“Nice boy
,” said Ellen once he’d gone. “God, it feels like we’re in another world here. Safe.”

Marla
nodded, hoping the kid would never know otherwise.

***

“Are you awake?” Devan whispered.

Ellen rolled over in the darkness and peered in the direction of his voice. “Yes.”

“What’s going to happen
tomorrow?” he asked.

“Find
a refugee camp, I guess.”

“H
ow?”

“I don’t know. I guess we just have to keep looking until we find someone. Army or polic
e or something, or maybe there will be a new announcement on the radio.”

“What if
we don’t find somewhere?” he enquired.

“Then we’ll keep looking, but she’s pretty determined, my sister. She won’t give up on anything.”

“I can see that about her. Have you always been close?”

“Pretty much,” said Ellen. “
When I was young she was away a lot, but since she left the army we’re closer.”

“And Tommy?”

“He’s a good friend, but I think he’s more laid back than she is. I also think he has a crush on her!”

“Really? How can you tell?”

She giggled softly. “I just can. And I know my sister. She attracts them like bees around honey. Always, even though she never seems to notice.”

“Is that why he’s sleepin
g in the car – because she knows?”

“No way!
”

Devan
moved slightly closer in the dim light. Ellen could now see the outline of him pretty clearly. “Can you always tell if someone is interested in someone else?” he asked her.

“N
ot particularly, but with Tommy, I think so.”

“What about me?”

“You like my sister?” Ellen asked.

“No, silly, I like…
you,” he corrected her.

“Oh.”

“Oh? Is that your only comment?”

“Erm, I dunno, you kind of surprised me.”

“But I hoped...”

“
Hoped what?”

“That you might be interested in me
too,” said Devan, sliding closer so that his face was just inches from hers.

“I like you,” she
answered, moving back slightly. “It was nice to talk to you and stuff...”

“But last night you were being nice to me and...”

“I always try to be nice. You seemed upset. I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong idea, but I’m not looking for anything like that. Life has gone crazy.”

Devan sighed.
“Isn’t that more of a reason to enjoy something? We could...”

“Look, I’m sorry if I’ve given you the wrong idea,
Devan, but I was just being friendly.”

“Just being friendly,” he
echoed.

Ellen caught the
sour edge to his tone and she hugged the blanket around herself. “I’m sorry,” she repeated before laying her head on her pillow and turning her back to him.

In the darkness she listened to the rustle of
his blankets and stared at the wall. However nice Devan appeared to be, this really was not the right time and he was also much younger than her. She snuggled down and waited for sleep, but it was a long time coming as the incessant stream of thoughts would not let her be.