Hush 2: Slow Burn (3 page)

“But I have groomed you both without you even realizing it. Luca, you are more than capable of leading this family. I know that where you are weak, your cousin will always advise you, but you are no simpleton. This act you put on, I have allowed it to keep eyes off of you, but your spoiled act stops today.

“I will retire and you will take my place. Uri, I can see the wheels turning in your head. You want revenge. That too shall be yours. You have always had a long reach because there isn’t one person that knows who your siblings are and what they do for you.

“Roberto and your grandfather have done us a favor. Not even Zuko knows of your current relationship with the twins and Michael. You have done well not sharing with others that you have siblings,” Uncle Nicholas nods.

“For years, I have watched Zuko mistreat your mother, but I am a man of certain beliefs. I knew when the time was right his blood belonged to you,” Don Vincent speaks up. “When your mother came to us with her discovery of the truth, she only confirmed what we have known for years. At one point, I had even thought Zuko was behind my wife and daughter’s death.”

My uncle shakes his head. “Roberto is sick in his own right, but I wasn’t sure he would go that far. Stripping your sibling of their name and you of your family is more his style. Having someone else’s hands dirty with a murder sure, but rape and savage murders,” he sighs. “I hoped not.”

“Yes, it took me a while to see reason and to be patient for the truth,” Don Vincent frowns at his own thoughts. “We are the ones that told your mother to stick close to you. However, we had no idea that the twins and Michael would follow. They have been just as angry with your mother as you have, but I guess there is no separating a child from their mother. You have all found your way back to Donatella whether with her help or not,” Vincent chuckles.

Valentine chooses this moment to sit forward. “Roberto’s cowardice has gone on long enough. Angelo was one of my best friends. Roberto will never destroy the Donati name as he has hoped and he nor Manzo will keep our families from uniting and becoming stronger. You want revenge, Uri. We have it here on a platter,” Valentine says and sitting back in his seat.

If I had to fear a man Valentine would be worthy of it. My little Tina did not become as vicious as she is on her own. This man trained her and what he could not teach her, he found the best to fill in the gaps. Right now the look in his eyes tells a tale a mile long. As family hitters, we are protectors. The slight of losing his best friend and the other events that have happened under his watch must weigh heavy on his shoulders.

“Seeing you take over either family is the last thing either of them wants to see. Having you and Luca take over the families now will be a devastating blow to them both. It would be what your father wanted,” my mum finishes with her head held proudly.

“I am handing you my family, Uri. It is time. I am an old man and I have lost too much to keep pretending I am not bleeding from the heart. This is what your father and I had always planned. He believed in you as a boy and I believe in you now, as a man,” Vincent says.

“Done,” I say and stand to leave.

I have to get some fresh air as I process every word that has just been spoken. I never thought I would get the opportunity I gave to Valentina. I thought that I would forever want revenge that I could never have.
This changes everything.

chapter Two

Who am I?

Three Weeks Later ….

Shannon

New York

“I love you guys,” I laugh into my wine glass.

I really do love these women. I never really had too many friends growing up. Valentina was a great big sister, but she had her own things going on that I never understood. Now I get it. I used to think she resented me or something at times and I tried so hard to gain her love and approval.

Now I know I always had it. Her issues were never with me. Well, try telling that to my ten-year-old brain, when all I wanted was my fifteen-year-old sister to play with me. I always thought something was wrong with me. That I did something wrong to make Valentina pull away.

It always made me feel special that when she did smile it was for me. I was the one person that could make her laugh and show any sign of happiness. Now that is Uri and Vita’s job. Valentina’s smiles for me don’t seem as special because now she is always happy.

It is like we have switched roles. Don’t get me wrong I am not jealous. No, what I am is ….lost? I think that is it. I am lost and these women before me have been trying their best to help me find myself.

Even now, they think I haven’t noticed, but neither of them has touched a drink. I, on the other hand, have to be on my second bottle of wine right now. They are just sitting and making me laugh, trying to get me to forget all about my world that has imploded in the last seven months.

“You know I really hate seeing you like this,” Marie pouts. “If Luca can’t pull his head out of his ass, screw him.”

“I second that,” Rita says lifting her brow and her glass of juice.

My smile falls. Just when I thought they were going to let me forget about my troubles. I should have known better. Everyone has been trying to get to the bottom of what is going on with me. Honestly, if I weren't so confused, I would fix myself.

“This is not about Luca,” I grumble into my wineglass.

“Than what is it about,” Rita asks bluntly. “Your sister is worried about you. From what I hear, she is driving Uri crazy about it. So what is really going on with you.”

I sigh swirling my drink around in my glass. I wish I could pull the answers from the liquid inside. Instead, I drain the drink and place it on Marie’s coffee table. She and Jasper have a beautiful home. They make such a beautiful couple. Heck, there are nothing but beautiful couples around me.

Ha! Even the single people around here are gorgeous. I have not missed the fact that both of my brothers-in-law are panty melting hot. Honestly, Nico has even hit on me more than once, but it only broke my heart a little more because he looks so much like the man I wish would show me that he wants me.

Yeah, I miss Luca. I miss waking up in his arms. I miss his spicy, clean scent. I miss when he would show me that sweet side of him that no one else seems to know about. I miss a lot about Luca, but he is not the reason I feel the way I do.

I open my mouth and for the first time I let it all spill out. The things that I don’t even want to admit to myself, least of all anyone else. “I don’t know who I am,” I start sadly and clasp my hands in my lap. I stare at my light brown fingers that no longer look like the fingers of a white girl, but more like a light skin black woman. I rack my brain to put these thoughts into words.

“I remember when that woman used to make me dye my hair blonde. You know I have been getting dye jobs since I was like ten, probably younger,” I snort.

“I should have known something was up then,” I shrug. “My dad is part Italian, part Sicilian, so I never thought much of my darker complexion. I may not be as dark as Valentina, but I noticed I was darker than the woman I thought was my mother and my father as well.

“I never told anyone how out of place I felt. She … that woman would always make these comments that didn’t make sense. You know, like,” I sigh and take a deep breath. “
‘You could be pretty if you didn’t take so much after them.’
Or ‘
you have to watch what you eat, it is in your genes to turn out like your sister.’
And my favorite,
‘I don’t think you should have those black girls come over here anymore. Valentina is enough of an influence. Trust me you don’t need any more help in that department.’

“It all make so much sense now. I would look in the mirror all the time and think. I look so much like Valentina. I’m not so much lighter than she is. Why does my mother hate her? When I started to dye my hair back its natural color to impress Luca, that woman almost had a heart attack.

“My dad has never treated Valentina differently because of the way she looks. If anything, I always thought he was proud to have such a beautiful black daughter and I was just the little white one that would never measure up. I mean he never stopped the bitch from dying my hair blonde and I never noticed that her mean words were never said around my dad. I just assumed he felt the same way.

“Then there were times at school when I was asked if I was sure that that witch was my mother. You know how cruel kids can be. Everyone knew who my big sister was, so they would poke at me whenever my so called mother came around. Or whenever they felt like it.

“Don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against being mixed. I just feel… cheated. I feel like there is a part of me that woman tried to make me hide, a part that she tried to erase. I feel like for most of my life, my heritage was stolen or like I wasn’t good enough for so long.

“I would have stood up to those kids proudly and told them so what I have mixed blood and brown skin. I swear I think that woman has been putting bleaching cream in my moisturizer for years. I’m thinking about taking the last few bottles she gave me to the lab,” I snort and shake my head. “Instead of standing up for myself, there was always a part of me that felt something wasn’t right. That their teasing had truth to it and I think it hurt more because I felt so unsure.

“I don’t know,” I wipe at a tear and shrug my shoulders. “Now with Luca hiding from me, I just feel everything even more. I know I said this is not about him, and it isn’t, but him not wanting me doesn’t help.”

“Oh wow,” Marie whispers.

Rita sits silently for a moment just staring at me. When she finally speaks, I can hear the emotions in her voice. Her eyes fill with tears and I know right away she understands.

“When we were little I would get picked on for having strawberry blonde hair, and brown skin with green eyes. I got into so many fights. Marcus would punch boys in the nose for teasing me. My mom was so pretty. She was more of Nate’s complexion with her beautiful chocolate skin, but her eyes were just as green as mine,” Rita laughs. “Her hair was just as blonde too.

“I bet from looking at Nate and me you would have no idea that we are actually one part African American, one part Italian, and two parts Greek. People’s jaws would drop when Dad would show up to Nate’s football games, calling out proudly, that’s my son. I think more people are accepting of Interracial dating, but they don’t think about what we kids come out looking like. It’s like we are not real to people.

“Sometimes I used to feel like I didn’t belong anywhere. I was a freak to the black kids and strange to the white ones. My mom was raised by her African-American family so Nate and I weren’t ignorant to any part of our families’ cultures. I’ve been to Italy, Greece, and spent time in New Orleans and Chicago.

“What I am trying to say is. It might be hard to know that you have lived a lie for so long, but that doesn’t change who you are in here,” Rita places a hand over her heart. “Who cares about ignorant people? You may not have known the truth then, but it wouldn’t have mattered to them. They still would have found something mean to say. All the fights I got into weren’t even worth it.

“I watched my mom hold her head high and I learned to do the same. A box of dye doesn’t change or strip you of your heritage. You being the lighter version of your sister doesn’t make you any less. From what I know of your dad, he wasn’t himself after what happened before you were born. I don’t think he slighted you intentionally,” Rita finishes wiping at her own tears.

“As far as Luca goes, didn’t you tell us he seemed to like you with your natural hair color more? Not to mention, you said you haven’t been in the same room with him since before your mom…,” Marie pauses and wrinkles her brows. “Since that woman disappeared. He doesn’t even know your story. So how could he not want you because you are mixed?”

“He was dating Pam you know,” Rita says pointedly.

I lift my head to look at my two friends. They both have a point. I am still struggling with what that bitch Angie did. What she took from me, but I shouldn’t be imposing those feelings on my relationship with my dad, Valentina or Luca. My drunken mind tries to rationalize all of this, but right now it is an epic fail.

All I can think about is the last time I saw Luca before he took off. It was before Vita was born. We had been living together for months. I had stopped going home once that crazy woman flipped out over my hair.

At first, Luca had started to stay out late or he would fall asleep in different rooms. I had blamed it on my clumsy attempt to seduce him one night. He had gently turned me down, saying we should wait until the wedding night. I had told him I had no interest in waiting until then.

Let’s just say that didn’t end so well. He stormed off and I was left feeling silly and confused. I had done everything Valentina told me to and Luca still didn’t want to sleep with me. After that night, he rarely spent the night in the same room with me.

One night I was just plain fed up. I dressed in a purple lacy bra and panty set with a pair of nude heels. I had heard Luca come in and go to his study. I made my way there after giving myself a pep talk.

I now wish I never had. The look on Luca’s face. I can’t erase it from my mind. It is the look that haunts me now even as I try to tell myself my brown skin and my real mother have nothing to do with why Luca doesn’t love me.

I hate that that crazy woman’s voice plagues my rational thoughts. Her constant poking at Valentina and me plays loudly, telling me that something is wrong with me, that I am not good enough.

Tears roll down my cheeks as I think of the times my father did take Valentina to see her mother’s family. I didn’t know at the time that they were my family too. That witch would have a fit about me going, but my dad always put her in her place.

I loved those trips. I always felt at home, like I belonged. I never noticed that until now. Eventually, those trips stopped because it was just too painful for my father. I wish I would have known they were my family. I would have pushed to go see them on my own. I believe Valentina has gone once or twice.

“Yes, he seemed to prefer the darker hair. I don’t think he knows any of what’s going on. And yes, I do know about Luca and Pam. He used to call her name in his sleep. She told me about them when we met. Pam said she didn’t want things to be awkward between us. I wanted to hate her, but I couldn’t,” I shrug.

Rita gives a low whistle. “Why are you into this guy again? I haven’t been around him too much, but from what I know of him and what you have shared, I don’t get it. He seems like an asshole,” Rita says bluntly.

“Yeah, he can be, but I know him. When he let me in he was a great guy to be around. Maybe I just haven’t a clue. It’s not like I had a boyfriend before him,” I stop to think. My blood starts to boil because Rita is right. Why the hell am I in love with Luca? He left me. I threw myself at him and he took off. The last time I saw him was when Vita was born and then he took off again.

I start to get pissed about everything all over again. I hate that I was forced to change by one person and then I change myself again for another. I wake up each morning now wishing I knew who the hell I am. Everything is different now.

I shake my head not able to finish my words. When I look in the mirror now, I see everything so differently. I can’t help but wonder what Luca saw that made him run away.

“Fuck Luca,” I growl out of the blue.

Marie and Rita just sit staring at me for a few minutes and then they burst out laughing. My drunk mind releases some of my anger as I start to laugh as well. We are all doubled over in laughter when Jas comes sauntering into the house.

“I forgot girls’ night was going to be here tonight,” Jas groans and turns to leave.

“No don’t go,” I laugh. “I think I have overstayed my welcome. Besides, I am the only one drinking. That is a sign that I need to go home and get in bed.”

Jas shakes his head with a smirk on his lips. “Rita, I just got off the phone with your husband. He is under the impression you are home,” Jas says to Rita with a raised brow.

I love the care and love you can see in this family. Like I said Valentina and I have a unique way of showing our love. Uri and his siblings seem to be the same. You can tell they care about each other, but it is not like watching the Mairettie and Briggs clans. They are like one big happy family that you just want to be a part of.

“I think that is my queue. I’ll take you home,” Rita says to me as I lift to my feet shakily.

I think I could have done without those last four glasses of wine. I stumble over to my purse and start to wobble toward the door. Jas shakes his head at me.

“Let’s get you to the car in one piece,” he chuckles as he grabs ahold of my arm.