Hunter's Salvation (36 page)

“No. It was mine. I wasn't right. You don't need to find a life and move on. You've already got one….” He let goof one wrist and reached up, cradling her cheek in his palm. He rubbed his thumb back and forth over her lip. “With me, if you'll take me back.”

“Take you back?” she repeated, her voice faint. “Vax, you weren't ever mine to being with.”

He laughed and kissed her again. This time she didn't try to turn away. That was a start, right? “I heard you, you know.”

Blood rushed to her face. She hoped she didn't sound as nervous as she felt. “Heard me when?”

“When you were talking to me at the hospital. I heard what you said. Every word.” He stared at her, his dark gray eyes so focused, so intent. “I knew when you weren't there. I could feel your absence. When you were there, I knew.”

“Everything?”

His lids drooped. “Yeah. I heard everything.”

Oh, now, wasn't that just wonderful? she thought bitterly as she recalled how she'd laid herself bare while he was unconscious. Jess wrapped her arms around herself tightly as though that would keep her pain and humiliation trapped inside instead of their spilling out. “I thought you were going to die. Maybe I got a little emotional.”

“Don't.” His voice was harsh. “I may not be a witch anymore, but nothing's wrong with my Empathy. You're lying to me. I know it. I can feel it.” He leaned down and muttered against her ear, “I also know
why
you're lying.”

She glanced up at him and then looked away. “Look, Vax, I don't…”

“Don't what? Don't want me? Don't lie to me, Jess. I was wrong. I fucked up. I'm not going to lie and say that I didn't mean to hurt you. I did—I thought it was for the best.”

“For the best,” she repeated slowly. “I don't see how in the hell your being cruel could possibly be for the best.”

“I thought it could—if it saved us from hurting each other later on. But I was wrong to think that. I was wrong to try and take the choice away from you.” He threaded a hand through her hair and forced her to look at him. “You said you loved me. How is that possible? You hardly know me.”

She had a flippant reply—she opened her mouth to say it. She
wanted
to say it. She wanted to see just a little bit of her own pain reflected in his eyes. But she couldn't. “I don't know. I just…” She turned away, blinking away the tears burning her eyes. “Do you know, I haven't really let myself feel anything since my parents died. I mean, I loved Randi. But she was already part of me. Part of my life. Part of my heart. But I haven't let anybody else in. I haven't let anybody make me feel anything. But you—I couldn't control it. Even from day one. I don't know if I believe in destiny or anything like that, but I do know that you made yourself matter to me.”

“Matter to you. Is that the same thing as love?” Vax asked as he eased a little bit closer.

Jess hedged. “I don't know.”

“Yeah, you do. You already said it once. You're just afraid to tell me again.” He kissed her again, and this time Jess didn't pull away. “I don't blame you. I hurt you, and I'm sorry for it. But—” His lashes drooped, shielding his eyes. “I didn't think I was the same man I was when I walked into that building.”

“Not being a witch doesn't change you, Vax.”

He shrugged. “I thought maybe it did. I was wrong, though. I walked into that building knowing that I loved you. And I came back here tonight for the same reason.” He pulled her against him, held her close for a moment. She reached for him, but before she could wrap her arms around him, he stepped back. Turned away from her.

Jess watched as he picked up his jacket. “I want you to think about it. Think about you and me. I think it could work,” he said. “Will you do that?”

He didn't wait for an answer as he turned around and walked away.

He was halfway down the hall before Jess figured it out. When she did, she couldn't figure out whether she was mad or giddy. He'd walked away because he thought she'd fallen in love with a witch. “You stupid jerk!” She shouted it at him so loudly that it hurt her throat. “You arrogant, stupid, brainless…” She sputtered, running out of insults, and finally just settled on,
“Man!”

He turned around, staring at her with shuttered eyes.

“You want me to think about it?” she snarled. “I can't believe this. You insult me. You make me feel like an idiot, and for
what
?” She shook her head again and glared at him. “You are a jerk.”

“You've said that.”

Jess snarled at him. “Did I already say that? Okay, here's something new.” She balled up her fist and slugged him in the gut. The startled
oomph
made it worth the pain that shot up her forearm.

“I've got a news flash for you, slick. I didn't fall in love with a witch. I fell in love with
you
. Or at least I thought I did. But that was before I realized how phenomenally stupid you are.” She spun away from him and headed back towards her bedroom.

Two brawny arms slid around her waist and lifted her off her feet. “Maybe I am stupid. Does that mean you don't have to think about it?”

Jess sniffed. She struggled to get away from him, but he wasn't putting her down. “Let go of me.”

“I tried that once. I didn't like it. Tell me you love me,” he ordered. He accompanied it with a soft, gentle kiss to her neck. “Or do you need to hit me again first?”

“I don't know. I think I ought to hit you a few more times.” He raked his teeth over her neck, and she shivered. “I think maybe I
could
love you. But you're still a stupid jerk.”

“I know. Would you feel better if I said maybe I think I could love you first?”

“Too late. I already said it.” She tugged lightly on his hands, and this time he sat her down but didn't let go. She had just enough room to turn around, but she wasn't so certain that was an improvement. Now, instead of feeling the hard, long length of his body against her back, she felt him pressed all against her front, staring down at her. His eyes were so dark a gray that they were nearly black, and his gaze kept drifting to her mouth.

“How is this going to work?” she asked quietly.

He grinned at her. She felt the thick, steely length of his cock nudging into her belly. “I have an idea or two.” His hands rubbed up and down her arms, warming her chilled flesh. “Let's go back to bed, and I'll tell you all about them.”

She rolled her eyes. “I know how that works. I'm talking about us. Is there an us?”

Tracing her lips with his fingertips, he said, “I think there is.” But the humor and heat in his gaze faded. “Do you want there to be an us?” Slowly, he let go and turned away from her. “I don't know where I'm going now, Jess. I can't be a Hunter.” He looked around, staring out the window. The next house was maybe fifteen feet away. “And I don't belong in a place like this. I can't live in the city. I can't…” Vax trailed off.

“Oddly enough, I don't think I ever saw you living in a city. Tell me something—you honestly think the two of us could work?”

His lashes lifted, and Jess felt a tremor deep inside. His eyes—they were glowing. His hands cradled her face, and his lips covered hers in a deep, hungry kiss. “Yeah. I think we could. Hell, screw that. I
know
we could,” he muttered, pulling away just long enough to whisper in her ear, and then he was kissing her again.

By the time he pulled away again, she was breathless. “Well, maybe you can't live in the city. I don't think I have to.” She smiled up at him. “You know, somebody told me a few days ago that I needed to get back to life. That I needed to find one. Maybe this isn't the best place to do that.”

“You'd live in Montana?” He crooked a grin at her. “Have you ever been to Montana? My ranch is in the middle of nowhere. Nothing to do. Nothing.”

With a wicked grin, she ran the back of her hand down his fly. “I wouldn't say nothing. Besides, I've had enough excitement to last me quite a while.”

He caught her hand, pressing a kiss to her palm as he wrapped his other arm around her waist and hauled her against him. “So you want to come and play ranch hand, is that it?”

Jess snorted. “As if. No. I don't want to play ranch hand.” She rose on her toes and pressed her lips to his. She lifted her head and smiled up at him. “You know, I've always had this idea in the back of my mind. Mom always told me I had a wild imagination. Maybe I should try writing a book.”