Hunted (28 page)

The man laughs. “You’re so like your brother.” He knows Daniel? Knows we’re related?

The man pulls a thin bracelet-like metal cuff out of his 357

Cheryl Rainfield

pocket and snaps it around my wrist. It locks with a click, the metal sealing so tight I can hardly see the joint. “We may have to let you go, but we sure as hell aren’t going to stop watching you,” he says. “And when the winds change

. . . .”

It’s a tracking device! He’s put a tracking device on me like I’m a dog. But I hardly care. At least it’s not a tracker through my tongue. I’ll find a way to get it off.

“I can go?” I ask.

He nods curtly. “We’ll be in touch.” He stands back and I open the van doors, then climb out into the bright hot sun. I lift my head, looking around me, and feel the breeze and sunshine caressing my face.

Seeing me, the crowd—even bigger than when I was shoved in the van—roars in approval.

Mom, Alex, Rachel, Mrs. Vespa, and Netta call out to me from the front of the crowd. And behind them, the motel owner stands smiling. Alex’s eyes soak me in, and Mom’s face is full of love and relief.

I run to them, my body light as air.

358

A Note from the Author

I drew on many of my own traumatic experiences in writing
Hunted
, just as I did with
Scars
. Like Caitlyn, I know what it’s like to have my life threatened, to experience electroshock and other forms of torture, to live under oppression,
and
to break free from oppressors. In my case it was cults; in Caitlyn’s, two fairly organized groups of oppressors, one government sanctioned and one not.

I am a ritual abuse survivor; my biological family was part of organized intergenerational cults (meaning that my great-grandparents, my grandparents, and my parents were all part of the interconnected cults). I put a fragment of my experience as a ritual abuse survivor into
Hunted
in the hopes that some of you will recognize the cultlike experience and be more open when survivors talk about ritual abuse. I think fiction helps us hear things we might not otherwise be able to hear.

I also think of
Hunted
as an analogy for oppression that exists in our society—especially homophobia, sexism, and racism, though there is so much more. I hope
Hunted
will inspire you to challenge any form of oppression you may witness.

I hope that reading
Hunted
will show you that healing is possible, and that even when you’re facing horrible, soul-killing oppression, you can still find a way to escape it and to surround yourself with a community of people who truly love you, even though it may take time.

I strongly believe in healing, compassion and kindness, and hope you do, too.

359

Resource Guide for Readers

Remember that you are not alone. No matter what your experience is, there are other people who’ve been through something similar. I think it can help to know that.

There are many available resources for those of us who’ve experienced oppression. Many are online, but they also can be found in various communities. I hope you seek out support if you need it; if you don’t need the support yourself, I hope you’ll consider volunteering or offering support to others who do.

Ritual Abuse Websites

• Ritual Abuse, Ritual Crime, and Healing:
http:
//www.

ra-info.org/ Information and resources for survivors, thera-pists, and others. This site has articles, links, and tips on what to do during flashbacks, as well as art and poetry created by survivors.

• Survivorship:
http://www.survivorship.org
. An online community and newsletter for ritual abuse survivors and their allies. This is a longstanding, supportive newsletter and community with lots of good information and resources.

• S.M.A.R.T. (Stop Mind Control and Ritual Abuse Today):
http://ritualabuse.us/
Tons of information on ritual abuse by an organization that works to stop ritual abuse and help survivors through education. The site offers online articles, a bi-monthly newsletter, an email discussion list, and more.

• Persons Against Ritual Abuse Torture:
http://www.ritual-360

abusetorture.org.
Lots of information, articles, and resources on ritual abuse and torture. This organization also conducts research on ritual abuse and torture, and engages in activism to stop ritual abuse and torture. Some information on this site may be triggering.

• Sidran Institute: Traumatic Stress Education and Advocacy.
http://www.sidran.org.
Good information on PTSD

(post-traumatic stress disorder), abuse, and coping mecha-nisms.

• Mosaic Minds.
http://www.mosaicminds.org.
An online community for abuse survivors with dissociative identity disorder/multiple personality disorder (DID/MPD). Includes forums, articles, suggestions on keeping safe, and other resources.

Cheryl Rainfield, articles on ritual abuse and programming/mind control:
http://www.cherylrainfield.com/cheryl-Page_Articles.html#ritual

Books on Ritual Abuse

• Safe Passage to Healing: A Guide for Survivors of Ritual
Abuse
by Chrystine Oksana. Detailed, helpful, and validat-ing book on ritual abuse.

• Ritual Abuse: What It Is, Why It Happens, and How to
Help
by Margaret Smith. Detailed, extensive, and solid information on ritual abuse and programming.

• The Courage to Heal
by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis.

While not specific to ritual abuse (it focuses on incest and sexual abuse), the newer versions have a good section on 361

ritual abuse. The entire book is incredibly encouraging, informative, and healing.

Multiple Personality Gift: A Workbook for You and Your Inside Family
. Excellent workbook with some great suggestions, reminders, and information on multiplicity
More Information on Ritual Abuse:

• “Report of the Ritual Abuse Task Force, Los Angeles County Commission for Women”
http://ritualabuse.us/ritualabuse/articles/report-of-the-ritual-abuse-task-force-los-angeles-county-commission-for-women/
One of the best, most comprehensive definitions of ritual abuse. Goes into detail of various forms of abuse, torture, and mind control that many cults use. Much of the information in this article can be triggering.

• CKLN (radio station)
http://www.multistalkervictims.org/

raven1/mcf/radio/can-prog.htm.
A series on ritual abuse and mind control.

• Anti Oppression: Making a Positive Difference, Teaching Tolerance:
http://www.tolerance.org.
A wonderful, thoughtful site to find thought-provoking news, conversation, and support for those who care about diversity, equal opportunity, and respect for differences in schools. It covers so much—gender, bullying, race, queer issues, and so much more. Highly recommended!

Change:
http://www.change.org.
Wonderful site to help make a difference NOW about real issues, through signing the petitions and encouraging others to. This site has had 362

petitions against things such as “corrective rape” (rape of lesbians to try to make them straight), making companies apologize for things they’ve done wrong such as making fun of homeless people, and many forms of discrimination.

Check out their “victories” link to get inspired.

• Southern Poverty Law Center:
http://www.splcenter.org
.

Fighting hate, teaching tolerance, and seeking justice. A fantastic resource with lots of positive fighting back against current-news oppression, such as various forms of homophobia, racism, sexism, sizism, and more.

• Partners Against Hate:
http://www.partnersagainsthate.

org.
A good site with resources on how to stop the hate, teach love and compassion, and discourage hate crimes.

StopViolence.com:
http://stopviolence.com/
A site with tons of links to other sites and reports on the many forms of violence. A great resource.

•
Ms. blog:
http://www.msmagazine.com/blog/.
A powerful blog from the pioneering feminists that help raise awareness about sexuality, homophobia, racism, gender, and more in current issues.

• Adios Barbie: http://www.adiosbarbie.com. A fantastic site on body image, class, race, age, ability, sexual orienta-tion, size and gender, with articles, campaigns, and events.

LGBTQ Lesbian, Gay, Bi, Trans, & Queer
http://www.matthewshepard.org/
Matthew Shepard Foundation: Created to honor Matthew who was murdered in an anti-gay hate crime, the foundation works to “Replace Hate 363

with Understanding, Compassion & Acceptance” through educational, outreach, and advocacy programs, and by telling Matthew’s story.

• It Gets Better Project:
http://www.itgetsbetter.org/
A fantastic project made up of tons of YouTube videos by queer people and our supporters who tell LGBTQ youth that it does get better. The project was started by author Dan Savage and his partner Terry, who created a YouTube video to inspire hope for queer youth facing bullying and harass-ment, following the suicides of several queer students who had been bullied in school. Believe us all—it
does
get better. See the video “It Gets Better” on YouTube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v_XIpkisWxo

• Trevor Project:
http://www.thetrevorproject.org/
The Trevor Project works to end suicide among LGBTQ youth through a nationwide, 24/7 crisis intervention lifeline, and digital community and advocacy/educational programs that create a safe, supportive, and positive environment for everyone.

Racism

• Youth Helping To End Racism
http://anti-racismonline.

org/
A resource for youth aged 10–21, where you can take a pledge to end racism, read some examples of racism, read about some things you can do to help, and more.

Aware-LA. Alliance of White Anti-Racists Everywhere –

Los Angeles:
http://www.awarela.org/

An organization

with a great blog that helps to educate and fight against racism and many forms of oppression.

364

ColorLines—News For Action:
http://www.colorlines.com/

A daily news site that reports and analyzes racial justice issues.

• Anti-Racist Action (ARA):
http://antiracistaction.org/
An international network of people from all walks of life who are dedicated to fighting fascism and eliminating racism, sexism, homophobia, and other forms of discrimination and hierarchy from their communities. ARA exposes fascists and racists in their communities and workplace; shuts down their meetings, conferences, rallies, and speeches; educates on what fascism is; supports victims of oppression; defends clinics from pro-lifers; and acts in solidarity with others who struggle against oppression.

Sexism

• The Ambivalent Sexism Inventory:
http://www.lawrence.

edu/fast/glickp/asi.html
(Take a quiz—you need to print it out—to find out if you’re sexist, and how much.)

• Killing Us Softly 4: Advertising's Image of Women:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTlmho_RovY.
This video is incredibly powerful, and it will make you think and see the deep sexism and harmful images to women in advertising. It’s important to be able to analyze things for yourself and not just accept images or ads as truth. Highly recommended.

• Killing Us Softly 3:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_

FpyGwP3yzE.
Same as above, but with a different segment.

• You can also download and read for free the Study Guide for Killing Us Softly 4:
http://www.mediaed.org/assets/

365

products/241/studyguide_241.pdf
The guide has a lot of useful facts that may surprise you about advertising and the way they sexualize and diminish girls and women, the way they focus on and encourage extreme thinness and eating disorders, and more.

Positive Messages for Girls & Youth

• About Face:
http://www.about-face.org
/ “About Face pro-motes positive self-esteem in girls and women of all ages, sizes, races, and backgrounds through a spirited approach to media education, outreach, and activism.” A great site that helps girls and women combat negative images of women in the media, and helps them get involved.

• Gurl.com:
http://www.gurl.com/
This site has tons of thought-provoking information, incorporated in their section on labels and in their newsletter, boards where girls can talk, polls, and more. Great graphics, and a nicely laid-out site.

• TeenVoices Online:
http://www.teenvoices.com/
“Because you’re more than just a pretty face.” A great blog for teen girls that offers thought-provoking information and articles; critiques of ads that distort images of girls (as well as ones that are more positive); book and music reviews; and more.

Shameless Magazine:
http://www.shamelessmag.com/
An independent magazine for smart, strong, sassy young women and trans youth. It’s a fresh alternative to typical teen magazines, packed with articles about arts, culture, and current events.

366

New Moon:
http://www.newmoon.com/
An online community and magazine where girls create and share poetry, artwork, videos, and more; chat together; and learn. All in a fully moderated, educational environment designed to build self-esteem and positive body image. Subscription re-quired.

367

Acknowledgments

My deep and heartfelt thanks to:
Jean, whose unconditional love, incredible support and encouragement, and faith in me steadied and nurtured me, and helped me find the things I needed to keep writing, dreaming, and being. You have created for me the first real home I have ever known, and the safest, most loving place I can be. You see and love all of me. I love you dearly; you are my family;