Hunger: Volume 4 (4 page)

I
opened my eyes. I wasn’t in my room. I was in a bed with curtains all the way
around it. I looked down at myself. I was naked. The curtains moved to the side
and Cornelius smile down at me. I looked at him confused. “What the hell is
going on?” I asked nervously.

He
climbed over me. He was completely naked. My eyes wandered his body. He was a
very good looking man like Aubrey. He smiled down at me. “Relax Lillian; this
is just a dream. We can have sex in a dream,” he whispered and pressed his lips
to mine.

I
pushed him off me and sat up. “What about Aubrey?” I said worried. If I slept
with Cornelius I would lose Aubrey. He was saying it was a dream, but it didn’t
feel like one.

“Aubrey
left you behind. He doesn’t want you. You are no longer human. He doesn’t want
a monster,” he whispered as he laid kisses over my shoulder.

“That
isn’t true,” I whispered trying to hide the sadness in my voice.

“I
believe he said it to you my dear. I am the only one that wants you now,” he
said softly as he ran his hands up my arms. He laid gentle kisses along my
neck. I closed my eyes. I felt myself starting to enjoy his touch. I stood
abruptly when I realized what I was letting him do….

I
woke up with a start. The room was dark and I was alone. I was completely
dressed. I groaned in relief and collapsed back on the bed. It was just a
dream. I wasn’t actually thinking about having sex with Cornelius. I wouldn’t
betray Aubrey like that. I didn’t understand why I would have a dream like
that. It made me a little uneasy. I felt the hunger just below the surface. I
stood and walked to the window. I peeked out the window, then looked at the
clock. It was just after dusk. I slept through the day and I didn’t even
realize it.

I
walked to the door and stepped out into the hall. Cornelius was walking toward
my room. He smiled at me and waved a bag of blood in front of me. “I was
looking forward to the fight.”

I
scowled and snatched the bag from him. “I will eat it on my own.” I turned to
walk back into my room and he caught me around the waist.

I
felt his lips brush my ear and my thoughts went back to the dream. “Sex in a
dream isn’t a betrayal.”

I
turned and glared at him. “You made me have that dream didn’t you?” I asked
angrily.

He
smiled playfully. “I was bored. I almost had you.”

I
scoffed. “No you didn’t,” I muttered as I opened the door and walked back into
my room. I slammed the door and sat down on my bed. I looked down at the bag of
blood. It really didn’t look appealing, and I knew it tasted horrible compared
to the real thing.

My
door opened and Cornelius walked. “You look so enthusiastic over that bag of
blood. I can still get you the real thing. We could feed together. It would
strengthen our bond.”

“I
don’t want to strengthen our bond you ass,” I growled and turned so I was
facing away from him. I felt him climb on the bed. I rolled my eyes when his
hands touched my shoulders. “Go away.”

He
laughed softly as he took the bag from my hand. He pulled the cap off the bag.
He leaned me back against his chest and pressed the bag to my lips. I didn’t
fight because I knew if I did he would just force me. I closed my eyes as the
cold blood filled my mouth. I slowly drank. Even though it wasn’t great it was
still nourishing.

I
felt his hand stray lower to my belly. I was a little nervous about how brazen
he was being, but I didn’t argue. He fingers gently tapped on my belly as I
fed. When the bag was empty. I groaned a little disappointed. I wanted more.
“Can I have more?” I asked softly.

“Of
course,” he said amused. “Charlotte is bringing more.”

After
a few minutes Charlotte opened the door and handed him a bag. “She can’t feed
herself?” she asked haughtily.

“Go
Charlotte,” he ordered.

She
rolled her eyes and marched out leaving us alone. Cornelius opened the second
bag and pressed it to my lips. I slowly drank savoring this bag. The first bag
I drank quickly. I wanted this bag to last. Once it was empty I sat up. I felt
better, more relaxed, and stronger.

Cornelius
pressed his lips to my neck. I felt my stomach tighten in pleasure. I didn’t
like the feeling so I immediately stood. I turned and glared at him. “I am not
having sex with you,” I growled. I hated how he made me feel. I wanted to hate
him, and he was making it impossible.

He
sighed and laid back on the bed. A lazy smile played at his lips. “How long is
it going to take you to realize Aubrey doesn’t want you anymore? I can give you
everything you could ever want, but you still push me away. Why?”

“I
don’t want to be a monster like you! I want to be free. I want to be with
Aubrey. I love Aubrey!” I said angrily.

He
scowled and stood. “Fine. You are free. Go to Aubrey. Tell him how you feel,
but do not come running back to me when he rejects you.” He turned and stormed
out.

I
stood looking at the door not sure what to do. I wanted to go. I wanted to run
to Aubrey, but I was afraid Cornelius was right. What if Aubrey no longer
wanted me? The fear I would leave and not be allowed to come back seemed
irrational, but it was there. I was afraid to find out Cornelius was telling
the truth, then I wouldn’t have anywhere to go. As fucked up as Cornelius was,
he could have been a lot worse. He could force me to feed on humans, but he
didn’t.

I
sat down on the bed unable to make up my mind. I didn’t want to stay, but I was
afraid to leave. Maybe this was another one of Cornelius’s mind tricks. I
suddenly realized I felt very alone and cold. I was actually scared. I never
used to be scared. It had to be Cornelius’s doing. I stood with my fists
clenched and stepped toward the door. I put my hand on the knob, then
hesitated. The fear was stifling. I closed my eyes and pressed my forehead to
the door. The cool wood made me focus a little better. Maybe I should wait and
see what happened. Aubrey suggested I stay with Cornelius. There had to be a
reason for it. I cussed and turned away from the door. I walked to the window
and looked out. It was after dark, and I knew the party would be in full swing
downstairs. I could hear the music start, and if I focused I could hear the
sound of voices.

I
felt my cheek dampen and I realized I was crying. I angrily wiped the tears
away and turned away from the window. I was hungry and afraid. I wanted to run,
and I wanted to stay. I was so confused I could barely think straight. I walked
to my bed and laid down. I felt so weak and tired. I knew it was because I was
fighting so hard against feeding, but I was so afraid of becoming a monster if
I allowed myself to like it.

I
woke up with a start. I didn’t even realize I had fallen asleep. My door opened
and Cornelius stood there. He looked both confused and amused. I rolled on my
side so my back was to him. “Leave me alone,” I muttered.

“I
didn’t even think you would be here. What are you doing here?” he asked as he
came into the room and shut the door.

“I
don’t really know,” I said softly. I was relieved that I didn’t start crying
immediately.

He
climbed on the bed and laid next to me. I immediately felt safer. I didn’t like
the feeling. It was confusing. I didn’t want to feel safe with him. I wanted to
be with Aubrey. I quickly pushed the thought away. The fear that Aubrey would
reject me was too much to bear.

“Has
Aubrey called or checked in on me?” I asked quietly hoping he did, but I had a feeling
he didn’t.

“He
just saw you last night. It is not like Aubrey to continually check on someone.
Besides deep down I am sure he knows you are safe.” He was obviously trying to
let me down easy. I knew Aubrey hadn’t called; I was just hoping he had.

I
sat up trying to get rid of the feeling of overwhelming sadness. “How do I stop
feeling so miserable?” I asked angrily.

“You
start enjoying what you are instead of fighting it. You are starving yourself
so your powers cannot manifest. You have no idea what your abilities are
because you won’t nourish yourself enough to let them out. The emotions will go
eventually if you focus on other things. Everything is just overwhelming
because you are determined to fight,” he said softly.

“I’m
afraid if I let go then I won’t be the same person,” I said trying to focus on
not crying.

He
moved closer to me and wrapped his arms around me. “You are not the same person
love, you are much better than you were. Stronger, faster, more beautiful.
Change isn’t always bad,” he whispered. His lips brushed my ear, and I could
feel my body start to give in to him. I fought the urge and stood. I turned and
looked at him.

He
looked slightly disappointed, but amused. “Can I go see Aubrey? I will come
back, I just have to see him.” I was begging because I didn’t want to have
nowhere to come back to, but I wanted to talk to Aubrey. I needed him to tell
me how he really felt.

He
sighed relenting. “Yes, you may go see him…” I felt my heart leap. He was going
to let me go. “On one condition,” he continued.

I
suddenly didn’t feel as enthusiastic. “What condition?” I asked nervously.

“You
feed with me. You are hungry and I won’t let you go out starving. You will end
up doing something you will regret, and we are not like humans our regrets last
much longer,” he said as he climbed to his feet.

I
shifted nervously watching him. He was right. I needed to feed before I left. I
would have preferred bagged blood, but bagged blood wasn’t gonna work forever
and I knew it. “Ok,” I said softly.

His
smiled widened. “Excellent,” he said happily as he stood. He offered his hand
to me. I slipped my hand in his, and he led me out of the room.

He
led me down the stairs to where the party was going on. It was a little after
midnight. I would feed; then I would go find Aubrey. I really wanted to get it
over with. I would have much rather been in Aubrey’s company then Cornelius’s.

He
led me into the main room and several women and men rushed over to Cornelius.
They were all humans offering themselves to him. My mouth watered and Cornelius
tightened his grip on my hand. He obviously sensed I was on the edge of losing
control. I could hear and smell their blood. The hunger was almost stifling. I
was a little relieved that Cornelius insisted I feed before I left.

“Pick
one love,” Cornelius whispered as he moved closer to me.

I
looked over their faces. They were all so eager to please. I could see why the
vampires were so arrogant and self-entitled. The human’s admiration and
dedication was a little overwhelming. I was wondering if it was forced by
Cornelius, or if they truly wanted to be there. The thought didn’t linger long
in my mind because I was quickly distracted by a young male who grabbed me
around the waist. It was the same guy that Cornelius sent to my room. I had
tasted him before, and I remembered how good he tasted. It was all I could
think about as I breathed in his scent. “This one,” I said softly.

“Good
choice,” Cornelius said amused. He took the guys hand and led him along with
us. The others remained where they were like Cornelius had given them a silent
order. Cornelius released my hand and took a seat in a private cluster of
couches. He pulled the young man into his lap and exposed his neck. My eyes
went to the pulse in the man’s neck and it took everything I had not too lunge
for it. “Listen carefully Lillian. I am going to show you where you can bite
him on the neck. If you bite him wrong you will kill him quickly, understand?”

I
nodded shifting my gaze momentarily back to Cornelius’s eyes to make sure he
knew I was paying attention. Cornelius began explaining how, and where to bite
the man. The man just watched me patiently. He was completely unafraid. I would
have been terrified if I were in his shoes. Then again I knew vampires had
extreme influence over humans. Maybe he actually loved Cornelius in a way.
Cornelius seemed to treat them all like pets. They were all well dressed, well
groomed, and they wore expensive jewelry.

“Ready?”
Cornelius asked smiling. He saw my eagerness. He knew I was hungry and he was
having fun.

I
nodded and stepped forward. I leaned over trying to control the urge to attack.
Even with as docile as he was being, I still wanted to hurt him, and it scared
me. “What if I hurt him?” I asked hesitating.

“You
won’t, I won’t let you. Christopher is one of my favorites,” he said amused.

I
nodded and moved in. I felt Christopher’s pulse quicken as my lips touched his
skin. I slowly sunk my fangs into his neck. Hot blood filled my mouth and I
groaned. I drank greedily savoring how good he tasted. I felt my body start to
hum. It felt like I was coming to life for the first time since I was turned. I
grasped his shoulders and buried my face deeper into his neck. His body pressed
to mine. He groaned and I could feel his erect cock pressing against my belly.

“Enough
Lillian,” Cornelius said firmly, but I didn’t pull away. I didn’t want to. I
wanted more. “Enough!” he said louder; then I went sailing backwards. I landed
with a thud against the wall. I was slightly dazed so I didn’t move immediately.
I licked my lips, savoring the high the blood gave me. It felt so incredibly
good, almost like the after effects of an orgasm.

Cornelius
knelt next to me and smiled as he brushed my hair out of my face. “You are
eager, that is for sure,” he said amused.

“I
didn’t hurt him did I?” I asked nervously.

He
laughed. “No, I believe you did a little more than feed from him.” I was a
little confused, but he didn’t elaborate. He offered his hand and pulled me to
my feet. “There is a car waiting outside. He will take you to Aubrey, then
bring you back when you are ready.”

“Thank
you,” I said excitedly as I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him. He
stiffened like he didn’t expect the response. I didn’t really understand why I
hugged him. I was just so excited. I turned and hurried out before he could
change his mind, or force me to stay.