Hunger of the Wolf (19 page)

Chapter Eighteen

Shilo felt perfectly blank when she surfaced toward consciousness and finally opened her eyes. Nothing looked familiar. She stared at the piece of furniture—a dresser—that she could see, the wall—painted a pale off-white with a golden hue—the beige toned carpet. Slowly a sense of familiarity surfaced.

It wasn't her room. That was why it didn't look familiar, but she knew the room. She'd been it before.

Frowning, she searched her mind, waiting for memories to flood into it and, like a tidal wave, they did, bringing with them so much pain she couldn't breathe for several moments. The Feds had killed Dante, shot all of them.

She struggled to rise and discovered she was too weak to get up. Finally, she managed to roll over onto her other side.

Dante was sprawled in a chair beside the bed. Shilo's heart skipped several beats and then began to race as his eyes opened. They were blood shot, she saw, and there were dark circles beneath them. Several days growth of beard stubbled his cheeks, jaw, and chin. His skin looked sallow. “Dante?"

He sat up abruptly, pushed himself out of the chair and moved to the bed, settling beside her. After simply staring at her expressionlessly for several moments, his face contorted and he scooped her into his arms, tightening them bruisingly around her. “Woman, I don't know what I want to do worse—beat your ass, or kiss you!” he growled when he finally loosened his hold on her and held her away to look at her face.

Shilo glared at him. “You better go for the kiss."

He stared at her for a long moment and chuckled. Pulling her tightly against him again, he nuzzled his face against her neck, breathing deeply. “Don't ever scare me like that again, baby! Ever! I've been going out of my mind,” he muttered.

Shilo relaxed against him. Relishing the strength of his arms, the warmth of his body, and the reassuring beat of his heart, she breathed his scent gratefully. “You were hurt,” she murmured. “I saw it ... Didn't I? You were shot."

"I'm alright,” he said gruffly.

Her throat closed. Her memories were faulty, but she could recall the sickening sound of the bullets hitting him. She was never going to forget that sound, never forget the horror she'd felt when she realized he'd thrown himself in front her to catch the bullets meant for her. “You don't look alright,” she disputed shakily, still trying to grasp the fact that he was alive and strong when she'd thought he was dead—thought all of them were.

"If I look like hell it's because I haven't gotten any sleep in two days ... that's how long you've been out. Two days. My god,
chère!
I'd begun to be afraid you'd never wake up."

No wonder she felt like hell. “What happened?” she managed to ask.

He shook his head, settling her on the bed again. His expression was grim now. “Later—when you're better. I'm going to go get Cindy to look after you. She's a nurse. She's been taking of you for me."

She closed her eyes when he'd left, trying to sort her jumbled memories again. Everything after Maurice and Dante had bound her was a blur. They'd scared her so badly when they'd done that to her, she couldn't even remember that part all that well, could only remember the shock, the sense of betrayal she'd felt, disbelief. She hadn't realized how deeply she'd trusted them until it had seemed that they meant her harm. She didn't think, even when they bound her, that she would've really believed they meant to hurt her if they hadn't seemed so unlike themselves, so grim and dangerous.

Maurice and Dante had told her they loved her, though. She remembered that. She remembered Dante had told her she was carrying his baby.

That had scared her worse even than the fear she'd felt for herself. Maybe they'd only said it to reassure her, but she'd felt, right or wrong, that they were telling her because they didn't know if they'd get the chance to tell her later.

Tears stun her eyes. She tried to blink them away.

They'd almost gotten themselves killed, the crazy things! Just to keep the Feds from getting her. It was so stupid and senseless for them to risk their lives like that! She could've just left if they'd just told her about the Feds.

And what had they done, she wondered fearfully?

What had
she
done?

She couldn't really remember anything after she'd summoned her powers. All she could think about at that moment was that they'd shot Dante and would kill the others if she didn't stop them. She didn't know
what
she had done. Of all the times she'd summoned her ability, it had never been like that! Never been so powerful. Never drained her until she'd nearly died from it.

And she knew she had. She'd never been unconscious for days afterward.

The door opened while she was wrestling with her anxieties and a brunette who looked to be around her age came in. Julie was right behind the woman until they were through the door. They moment they cleared it, Julie darted around the other woman and charged toward the bed. “Shilo!” she exclaimed, bending down to embrace her. “Girl! You have had us all sick with worry! Dante's been snapping and growling at everybody like a wolf with a sore paw! And Maurice and Kane have just been plain out nasty."

"Jessie?” Shilo asked tentatively, feeling fear tighten around her chest. “Is he ok?"

Julie gave her a wry look. “He'll be fine when he sobers up."

Shilo relaxed fractionally but confusion filled her. She'd been terrified, knew shock had thoroughly screwed with her head, but she remembered the gunfire. She remembered
seeing
Dante hit. “No one was hurt?"

Something flickered in Julie's eyes. “Everyone's fine—now. You're the one we were worried about."

The brunette moved to the side of the bed, edging Julie out of the way. “I'm Cindy,” she said, smiling. “Let me just check your vitals before Julie gets your blood pressure up."

Julie glared at her but moved to the chair where Dante had been sitting.

Shilo had opened her mouth to ask Julie how she'd gotten back to Dante's place, and why she'd been brought there when Cindy shoved a thermometer into her mouth. Subsiding, she waited for the woman to finish.

Frowning when she'd taken the readings, Cindy moved to a chart she had on the dresser and scribbled on it. “Would you like to make a trip to the bathroom while I'm here to give you hand?"

Shilo discovered she did need to go. She didn't particularly want to be helped, though. “I think I can manage,” she said firmly.

Cindy moved to the side of the bed and folded her arms while Shilo struggled and finally managed to sit up. Shilo looked at the woman resentfully. “I guess I might need help."

Going to the bathroom was like climbing a mountain. By the time Shilo made it there and back she was just glad to lie down again. “You'll be feeling a little stronger once we get some food in you. I'll be back in a few minutes with a tray.” She paused by the door. “Julie, don't stay too long and don't upset her."

Shilo stared at the door when they woman had left. “What might upset me?"

Julie sent her a weak smile and shrugged. “God, that was the most awesome thing you did the other night!” she said, changing the subject abruptly. “I had no clue you could do anything like that! I mean, Dante told me you were electro-kinetic, but I was thinking along the lines of a static charge."

Shilo frowned. “I don't remember seeing you."

"Dante made me wait in the barn. He said it would be safer for me there."

Shilo's lips flattened as the memory surfaced of him pushing her to safety and going out to provoke a showdown with the Feds. “He's bossy as hell. You know that?"

Julie blinked at her. “He's the prime alpha male, Shilo. Not just
our
pack alpha, but the alpha over the entire territory here. What did you expect?"

Shilo sniffed, feeling tears descend upon her abruptly. “He almost got himself killed!"

Julie stared at her in alarm. “Don't cry, Shilo. Please don't cry. Dante will kill me."

Shilo sniffed again and gave a watery chuckle at the comment, despite the fact that it sounded less than sympathetic, mopping at her eyes. “Why did he do that? Why would he set something like that up? The Feds
shot
at them! He had to know somebody was liable get killed!"

Julie looked at her uncomfortably. “'Cause he's crazy in love with you?"

Shilo stared at her blankly a moment and then burst into tears. Rolling onto her side, she tried to muffle the sound with the pillow, but she couldn't seem to make them stop. She was still crying into her pillow when Cindy returned and ordered Julie out. Setting the tray she'd brought down on the bedside table, she went for tissues and a cool wash cloth.

"Feeling better now?” she asked brightly when Shilo had managed to wipe her eyes and blow her nose.

"Dough,” Shilo said through her stuffy nose and started crying again.

"It's not as bad as all that, now."

"It is!” Shilo wailed. “You just don't know.” Dante loved her! He'd almost gotten himself
killed
because he loved her. And she was going to have to leave!
Nothing
could be worse than that!

"You want to tell me?"

Shilo gave her a look. “No."

"Try to calm down and eat something. It'll help your feelings,” Cindy said finally, retreating toward the door. “Your baby's fine, but you need to eat."

Shilo gaped at the back of the woman's head as she sailed out the door. “Wait!"

Cindy paused in the doorway, looking a question.

"My baby? I'm pregnant?"

Cindy frowned. “You didn't know?"

Shilo's face crumpled. “Dough."

Cindy looked uncomfortable. “Well, now you do."

Settling down again, Shilo wept until all she could do was snuffle and finally fell asleep. The rattle of dishes woke her. She wouldn't have thought it possible, but she felt worse the second time she woke than she had the first. Her head felt as if it would explode and her eyes were swollen and gritty from crying. When she managed to get them open enough to see, she discovered Dante had set a tray on the bedside table.

His expression was a combination of wariness and grim determination. “You need to eat or we'll have to put you back on the IV."

Wondering why he was acting so angry now when he'd seemed so relieved before, Shilo stared at him for a long moment and finally pushed herself up on the bed. He seemed to relax fractionally. Moving closer, he grabbed the pillows on the bed and stacked them behind her. She stared down at the tray with revulsion when he'd settled it on her lap. Clear liquids, ugh! She wasn't hungry to start with and nothing on the tray was tempting enough to encourage her to eat.

Dante sprawled in the chair, watching her.

Sending him an offended look, she picked at the food. The broth wasn't half bad. She resented Dante hovering over her like a jailor, but she ate about half of everything. He didn't look happy that she'd stopped at that, but he didn't say anything. He merely picked up the tray and left.

Sighing, Shilo struggled until she'd managed to get off the bed and wobbled into the bathroom. Her reflection in the bathroom mirror didn't help her feelings one little bit. She bathed her face until her eyes didn't look quite as puffy and tamed her wild hair the best she could.

She needed a bath, but she didn't feel up to it.

Dante was waiting outside the door when she emerged. She nearly jumped out of her skin when she saw him. Settling a hand on her hip, he walked her back to the bed and helped her get in. She glanced at his face uncomfortably when she'd settled and looked away again, wishing she could think of something to say. He looked so—remote, though, that she couldn't think of anything. “You're sure you're alright?” she asked finally.

His lips thinned. “I'm a lycan, Shilo,” he said angrily. “I heal quickly."

It was said like a rebuke. She just wasn't entirely certain what the reproach was about.

Unless he was still angry with her about going outside when he'd ordered her not to?

Not that he had any right to order her around.

She understood that he'd wanted to protect her and believed it was the right thing to do, but she was a grown woman. She'd been making all of her own decisions for a long time. Good or bad, she'd made them and lived with them. She still didn't believe the decision she'd made had been the wrong one. Maybe nothing that had happened would have happened if she'd just stayed in the safe little nest Dante had improvised for her like he'd ordered her to do, but she didn't believe her interference had made things worse. Maybe it hadn't improved the situation, but she just couldn't believe it had made things worse.

Except that Dante had gotten shot
because
she'd gone out and the Feds had tried to shoot her for using her electro-kinesis against them.

She knew Dante had meant to take on all of those men with only his lieutenants, though. Four men—lycans granted, but still only four of them—against three times that many men armed with guns. They would've cut them to pieces if she
hadn't
interfered. The moment they shifted and attacked the results would have been the same. They would've encountered a hail of bullets. If nothing else she'd managed to take down nearly a third of the men.