How to Bake the Perfect Wedding Cake (8 page)

“What’s going on in that gorgeous head of yours?” Jack is staring at my face, inspecting me as if he has a code to unlock my mind. He’s already unlocked my heart.

“I was thinking about our honeymoon.”

Jack lets out a laugh. “Ready, again?” He’s stalking towards me and his hands are in my hair, twirling my locks and twisting my heart into a place of excitement. My head is tingling. My mouth is melded onto his and my mind is wiped clean. What was I thinking about? I have no idea. The only thoughts running through my mind are pleasure. And he’s hitting all my pleasure points. His fingers are trailing all over my body like he is unlocking a high score for finding each trigger, each peak, and each valley of my body. I’m in pure bliss.

“Lauren, I want to experience you in every room of our house.” Jack breathes into my ear and goose bumps pop up on my neck.

My chest tightens. “Mmm…you want to do that right now?” I let out a laugh. Jack sinks his teeth into my neck and he nibbles with just the right amount of pressure to send me over. I squeal and pull away from him. His blue eyes are flickering at me like he’s a wolf cornering his prey and I do what anyone in the same position would do and run.

I run out of the room and out of the hallway. I shriek as I curve and stumble up the stairs. I can’t look back and see if he is on my tail. I know he is; it’s almost as if I can feel him breathing on my neck. I cross the top step and pause for a second to decide which route to go and I’m halted. Jack’s arms are around me. His mouth is in my hair, making its way towards my ear.

“Come on, if you want to play hide-and-seek you’ve got to be a little stealthier than this.”

I laugh. “I wasn’t even trying, if I was…I would have won.” I turn and face him. His delicious eyes are sparkling at me and his mouth is forming the perfect smug grin.

His head is nodding but his face is full of disbelief. “Sure, like in the trees?” He cocks his head to the right and tips up my jaw up to lock eyes with him.

I roll my eyes. Yes, he found me when I took off during our Christmas tree hunt and then again in the extensive garden of this lovely house. But this does not mean that I’m not good at hide-and-seek. I shrug. “You were just lucky.”

Jack laughs. “I’m lucky to be with you but finding you is not luck—that’s skill.” He leans down and our lips lock into an engaging kiss.

I pull back. “Seriously, we should figure some things out…together. About our wedding and everything that follows.”

“Everything that follows is you barefoot in the kitchen baking pies for our family.” Jack guffaws.

“As if!” I push him, but again he doesn’t budge. His body is so much larger than my own and I love every inch of it, and him.

“All right, listen, as far as the honeymoon goes, tradition says I get to pick.”

“Actually, I think it says your best man does. Speaking of which, who are you asking?” I stare up into his sparkling blue eyes and see a hint of sadness. I swallow. I’m sure Jack would have liked his brother to be his best man, but unfortunately he is gone.

Jack breaks our eye contact and takes a step back. “I haven’t decided. Of course as you probably have guessed I would have wanted Lewis…but that’s not a possibility.”

“I’m sorry,” I let fall from my lips. Though as these two words are released into the air I remember when I spoke them before how Jack assured me that I shouldn’t be sad or sorry as his brother had led a great life.

Jack shakes his head. “Lauren, don’t be sorry.” He steps closer to me and raises an eyebrow. “I’m thinking about asking Trent.”

I roll my eyes and laugh. “That would be perfect. Maybe he can reassign my bridesmaids and reorganize the wedding while he’s at it…” I shake my head.

The vein in Jack’s throat throbs. “What problems is he causing you?”

“Nothing, I can’t handle…or at least will try to.”

“Lauren, if he comes near you physically again, I won’t wait for you to handle things through your Human Resources department.” The vein is pulsing on overtime.

“Jack, I’m handling it.”

“Handling it? What is it? Has he tried something again?” Jack grabs my arms and is demanding with his eyes that I focus on his face.

“No, not anything flirty or of that nature. He’s just…being Trent in other ways. Listen, I don’t want to talk about it. Can’t we focus on planning our wedding? It’s only a few months away.”

Jack shakes his head. “Lauren, I don’t want this to be an issue between us. I’m going to be clear and communicate with you exactly what I’m feeling and what my actions will be.”

I swallow. “Okay.”

“If Trent so much as shakes your hand for longer than a millisecond, I will have more than words with him.” His eyes bore into mine. “And that will be the least of his worries.”

My shoulders slump. “Okay…got it.”

Jack laughs. “You are going to get it…that’s for sure.” He leans in and his teeth graze across my neck. The intensity is not enough to leave a physical mark but enough to leave a trace in my mind of the intensity that has sent my body into an unending cascade of tingles.

I squirm as if I could wriggle out of his embrace—not that I would want to, but it’s fun to pretend that I’m going to run.

“Lauren, you’re seriously not trying to free yourself, are you?” If I were facing him in this moment I would surely melt from his icy blue eyes. His breath is warm against my neck.

I let out a giggle. “You know there is a saying about setting things free that you love.”

Jack pulls back. “Never heard it.”

“What, of course you have. Everyone has heard of it.” I shake my head.

“Nope.” He runs his finger along the bottom of his jaw.

“Jack, seriously? If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it is yours forever.”

Jack’s lips purse and his eyes twinkle back at me. His tell sign. It’s obvious he has heard this quote. I stare back at him and bat my eyelashes. I can wait out his silence. Over the last few months, I’ve learned how to return his silence with my own. In our initial meeting I was an over sharer. I’m not sure if I was trying to overcompensate for his monosyllabic answers but either way, I was quite the donor of information. Now though, I can wait it out.

The silence seems to last forever. Internally, I have to bite my tongue and pinch at my sides to hold back any small chitchat. I’ve got to win this one.

“Impressive.” The sides of Jack’s mouth pull up and his white teeth shine back at me like a wolf about to devour its prey. Even his breaking first is only one word. I can’t respond, not yet. I’ve got to hold out a minute longer.

My eyes meet Jack’s and they are locked like we are speaking a deep conversation, one that only two people in love could participate in. It’s full of meaning and filled with a moment that is beyond special. This moment is filled with silence, with absolutely no words, and yet so much has transpired.

Jack reaches for my hand. His eyes are boring into mine. He gently kisses each one of my fingertips. “Lauren, I don’t need to set you free; you were already mine to begin with.” His lips trace over my knuckles. “The moment you came striding into that pecan farm, looking frazzled.”

I jerk my head back and narrow my eyes.

“And fabulous.” He smiles. “I knew in that moment that you were mine. My heart skipped a beat and I was bothered. I’d never felt anything like that before.” He kisses my wrist. “I didn’t want it to be true, that someone I didn’t know could have such a strong effect on me.” His lips trail up my arm and goose bumps are forming along my skin. I’m going to faint from the gentleness of his kisses. He is making me swoon and I’m falling into this deep moment where I can’t see anything. All my thoughts are gone. My mind is only sparkles of an array of colors. My breathing is heavy and his lips are only on my arm.

“So, Lauren, no…I don’t have to set you free…” Jack’s lips meet mine and he parts my mouth with his tongue. Our tongues latch on to each other in an intense swirl of passion and love twisted together, rolling over and over, pulling every which way. Will we always kiss like this? Will his mouth always taste this delicious? My parents never kiss like this in front of me. But do they even kiss like this in private? I shake my head and pull back. Note to self, never question your parents’ kissing routines while kissing your fiancé. Yuck.

“What’s wrong?” Jack’s head cocks to the right. His eyes are full of discernment.

I shake my head. “It’s nothing.”

“It doesn’t seem like nothing. You just pulled away from probably one of the best kisses of your life.”

I roll my eyes. “How would you qualify it for the best kiss of my life?”

His eyes sparkle back at me. “For starters it was with me.”

I laugh. “You’re so ridiculous… It’s a good thing you’re a good kisser.”

Jack clears his throat. “Good? That seems a little bit low in respect to value.”

“Oh, Jack, I love your kisses and I love you.” I lean into his body and our lips meet again.

“That’s more like it.” Jack pulls back. “But seriously, why did you pull back?” He traces along the side of my face with his thumb.

I eye the floor. “I was just…it’s kind of gross…well don’t take it the wrong way. But I was thinking about my parents kissing.”

“Hmm…not anything a man wants to hear his fiancée say when he asks what she was thinking about during one of the best kisses of her life.”

I laugh. “Yes, yes, the best kiss… Anyways…I was just wondering if they ever kissed passionately? What would become of our kisses if we have kids?” I swallow. We haven’t really tackled this topic properly yet. It seems the focus of our relationship has been about the physical distance of our locations and trying to close that, not our life plans. Well, Jack has moved his entire life to be with me here. But what does our future to hold? Kids? What would that mean for us and for me? For my career? I hadn’t really thought about these issues. I do want a family, but right now? I don’t think so. I can’t imagine staying at home with kids and I wouldn’t want someone else staying at home with them either. Which means one thing, no kids for now.

Jack smiles at me. He cups my face with his hand. “Lauren, I will always kiss you. Every single day of your life, you will be kissed if I am in a five hundred mile radius. I will make sure you are kissed, by me.” His lips meet mine and he kisses me. His lips are pressing into mine with a surge of unspoken words that form into a promise. And I know it’s true. Jack will kiss me every day of my life and knowing that is one of the most delicious thoughts I’ve ever had. I’m not going to share this with Jack, not today. He is already a little on the boisterous side in regards to his kisses. I might let him simmer down a bit before I mention it.

Our lips break apart. “And in regards to kids, I think we should let nature take its course.” He wiggles his eyebrows at me.

I laugh. “This is very odd coming from such a good planner.”

“Oh, I have a plan.” Jack growls and pulls me in closer to his body.

I squeal as his teeth sink into my neck. The ultimate pleasure point has been reached and I’m squirming to break free. I can’t take this intensity. “Jack, I’m serious, we should talk about this.”

He releases my body. “I thought you said you weren’t ready to talk about it yet? I reserved the right to open the conversation at another stage, remember?”

“I know, and I’m not ready to have a kid yet, but I’d like to at least know your thoughts on the situation.”

“Okay, me personally, I’d like to forget about all options of birth control from the moment of our wedding and see what happens. I’ve seen friends who have dealt with infertility and I don’t want to be in that stressed-out moment when planning a family.”

I can’t swallow the lump in the back of my throat. It is too large. It’s almost like the size of a baby about to be delivered. I had no idea that Jack wanted all this so soon. We get married in less than three months and then what—I’m just supposed to get pregnant? I can’t even fathom this notion. This idea of no birth control, no plan, just letting nature take its course? How does this make sense? I can’t even comprehend this idea. I can’t go from this major career promotion and everything that I’ve built up to in order to get to a point of nothing. No career. Just a baby. A baby. That would change everything. Everything for me. Not Jack. He wouldn’t have to change anything. I know there are men who stay home with their children, but I can’t picture Jack as this type of guy. So that means it would be me. Me. I’m supposed to say
au revoir
to my career?

I shake my head and take a step back. “I don’t want to do that.”

“What?” Jack’s eyebrows furrow.

“I can’t have a baby right now. I just got to a point in my career that is huge. If I take a step back from that…everything. I just can’t.” I swallow. The bulge is still there. I can’t breathe. This huge lump in the back of my throat is blocking my air passage. I’m feeling myself get weak. The room is closing in on me. Everything goes dark.

Chapter Six

Everything is dark. I’ve been in this place before. I’ve tried to hide these moments. I’ve fainted before. This is not my first panic attack. Granted it’s been awhile. But still, this place is so dark and I’m so disoriented. Everything is so odd here. It’s a weird spot for me. Normally, my panic attack or the fainting has happened alone. Which means no explanations. No reasons to give for this moment. Nothing to say. I can just figure out how to move forward. Yet, here I am in Jack’s arms. I know they’re Jack’s arms as I can smell his apple-and-wood-scented cologne. I know his body with my eyes closed. I’m lying in his arms. He’s watching me. I can feel it.

But what do I do? Do I tell him I’m fine? No reason to be concerned? I can’t lie in silence much longer. I’m sure he’ll call an ambulance if he hasn’t already. My eyes pop open at this idea.

Jack is staring down at me. I smile up at him, hoping this will clear all thoughts of worry from his mind.

“Hey.” He runs his fingers along my hairline.

“Hey.” I straighten myself up into a sitting position.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, sorry about that…I…guess I just…um…I’m fine.” I shake my head as if I can shake off this moment and move forward.