How Does Aspirin Find a Headache? (38 page)

Anne Tantum, American Association of Meat Processors; Thad W. Tate, College of William & Mary in Virginia; Farook Taufiq, Prince Company; Karl Torjussen, Westvaco Corporation.

United Airlines; USDA—Agricultural Research Service.

Pamela Van Hine, American College of Obstetrics and Gynecologists; Vanner Weldon, Inc.; Richard Van Iderstine, National Highway Traffic Safety Administration; Matthew J. Vellucci, Distilled Spirits Council of the United States; Ralph E. Venk, Photographic Society of America; Rhoda Virgil-Madison, Detroit Police Department.

Larry Wallace, Monsanto; Roscoe Wallace, Monsanto; Steve Warren, MOR Media; James Weidman, Welch Foods, Inc.; Rebecca Weller, Fuller Brush Company; Vicki Wells, Miles, Inc.; Thomas Werner, New York State Department of Transportation; E.J. Westerman, Kaiser Aluminum and Chemical Corporation; Ron Whitfield, Marine World Africa USA; Steve Whitmire, Jim Henson Productions; Vann Wilber, American Automobile Manufacturers Association; Richard Wisniewski, University of Tennessee, Knoxville; Dori Wofford, Levi Strauss & Company; Wilton Wong, Images Unlimited Photography; Danny Wright; Jim Wright, New York State Department of Transportation.

Bruce and Janice-Carol Yasgur; Karen Yoder, Entomological Society of America.

And to the many sources who, for whatever reason, preferred to remain anonymous, our sincere thanks.

Acrylic, virgin

Age of majority, as

Airlines, chime signals on

Aluminum cans, crushability of

Ambulances, snake emblems on

Angel food cake and position while cooling

Animal tamers and kitchen chairs

Architectural pencils, grades of

Art pencils, grades of

Aspirin, headaches on

Audio cassette tape on side of road

Automobiles

bunching of, on highways

cardboard on grills

cockroaches in

headlamp shutoff

oil loss after oil change

position of brights/dimmer switch

windshield wipers, vs. buses

Barbie, hair of, vs. Ken’s

Batteries, nine-volt, shape of

Bathrooms, group visits by females to

Beacons, police car, colors on

Beer and plastic bottles

Bingo, origin of term

Birds

direction of takeoff

honking during migration

pigeons, loss of toes in

pigeons and whistling sounds

Black clothing and bohemians

Blind people and dark glasses

Blue-plate special, origin of term

Boiling water during home deliveries

Books, checkered cloth on

Boots on ranchers’ posts

Boxes, Japanese, yellow color of

Bracelets, migration of on body

Brazil nuts in assortments

Bread

“French” vs. “Italian,”

staling of

Bridges, covered

Brights/dimmer switch, position of, in automobiles

Brushes, hair, length of handles on

Buses, idling of engines on

Butterflies, sneezing and coughing in

Buttons on men’s vs. women’s shirts

Cakes

angel food and cooling position

reaction to loud noises

Cameras, black color of

Canadiens, Montreal, uniforms of

Cans, aluminum, crushability of

Carpenters’ pencils, shape of

Cassettes, audio, on side of road

Celery in restaurant salads

Channel 1 on television

Checks

approval in supermarkets

returned, in alphabetical order of

Chewing motion in elderly people

Children, starving, and bloated stomachs

Chime signals on airlines

Cockroaches in automobiles

Coffee in restaurants

Coins

lettering on U.S. pennies

red paint on

Commonwealths, vs. states

Computers, erased files on

Computer monitors, shape of

Copper bowls and egg whites

Covered bridges

CPR training in schools

Crabs, hermit, “bathroom habits” of

Credit cards and waiter tips

Cursive handwriting vs. printing, teaching of

Curves on highways

Dance studios, floor location of

Dirt, refilling of, in holes

Disc jockeys and lack of song identification

Dollar sign, origins of

Dolls, hair of

Doors

knobs vs. handles on

screen, location of handles on

Egg whites and copper bowls

English and left-side driving

Eyeglasses and nerdiness

Eyes, closed, when kissing

Farm plots, circular shape of

Fat people and jolliness

Fingernails, yellowing of, and nail polish

Fire trucks, roofs of

Firearms, confiscated, after arrests

Fish and urination

Fish tanks, oxygen in

“Flintstones,” Barney Rubble’s profession on

Football

Pittsburgh Steelers’ helmet emblems

college, redshirting in

tearing down of goalposts

“French” vs. “Italian” bread

Fruitcake, alleged popularity of

Funerals

burials without shoes

depth of graves

orientation of deceased

Gagging, hairs in mouth and

Geese, honking in, during migration

Glasses, wine, types of

Glue

stickiness in the bottle

Super, and Teflon

Goalies, banging of sticks by

Goalposts, football, tearing down of

Goats, kids vs. adult

Goofy, marital status of

Goofy, Jr., origins of

Grape jellies, color of

Graves, depth of

“Green” cards, color of

Grimace, identity of McDonald’s

Hail, measurement of

Hair length and aging

Hairbrushes, length of handles on

Hairs in mouth, gagging and

Half-moon vs. quarter moon

Ham

color of, when cooked

checkerboard pattern atop

Hand positions in old photographs

Handles vs. knobs, on doors

Handwriting, teaching of cursive vs. printing

Hats

cowboy, dents on

declining popularity of

Headaches and aspirin

Headbands on books

Headlamps, shutoff of automobile

Hearts, shape of, idealized vs. real

Hermit crabs, bathroom habits of

Highways

bunching of traffic on

curves on

Hockey

banging of sticks by goalies

Montreal Canadiens uniforms

Holes

recycling of, in looseleaf paper

refilling of dirt

Honking in geese during migration

Horses, vomiting and

“I” before “e,” in spelling

Ice cream, pistachio, color of

Ignitions, automobile, and headlamp shutoff

Ink, newspaper, and recycling

Insects

flight patterns of

spiders and web tangling

“Italian” vs. “French” bread

Japanese boxes, yellow color of

Jeans, sand in pockets of new

Jellies, grape, color of

Ken, hair of, vs. Barbie’s

Kids, vs. adult goats

Kilts, Scotsmen and

Kissing

closed eyes during

leg kicking during

Knobs vs. handles, on doors

Ladybugs, spots on

Lakes vs. ponds

Leg kicking during kissing

Letters, business, format of

Lions, animal trainers and

Lizards and eyes during sleep

Looseleaf paper, recycling of holes in

McDonald’s

Grimace, identity of

“over 95 billion served” signs

McDonald’s (
cont
.)

straws

wrapping techiques on sandwiches

Meat loaf, taste of, in institutions

Men

dancing ability of

feelings of coldness

remote controls and

Milk

as sleep-inducer

fat content in lowfat

plastic milk containers

single serving cartons of

skim vs. nonfat

Montreal Canadiens, uniforms of

Moon, quarter-, vs. half-

Muppets, left-handedness of

Musketeers, Three, and lack of muskets

Mustaches, policemen and

Nail polish and fingernail yellowing

National Geographics
, saving of

Necklaces, migration of on body

Nerdiness and eyeglasses

New York steak

Newspaper ink and recycling

Nine-volt batteries, shape of

Nuts

brazil, in assortments

peanuts, and growth in pairs

peanuts in plain M&Ms

Oil, automobile, after oil change

Oxygen in tropical fish tanks

Paint, red, on coins

Paper, recycling of holes in looseleaf

Pasta and foaming, when boiling

Peanuts

Allergies to

growth in pairs

Pencils

architectural and art, grades of

carpenter’s, shape of

Penmanship, bad, doctors and

Pennies, U.S., lettering on

Pens, disappearance of

Photography

color of cameras

hand position of men in old

hands on chins in

Polaroid prints, flapping of

smiling in old photographs

Pigeons

loss of toes

whistling sound in flight

Pigs

curly tails of

roast, and apples in mouth of

Pistachio ice cream color of

Pittsburgh Steelers, emblems on helmets of

Plastic bottles, beer and

Plots, farm, circular shape of

Polaroid prints, flapping of

Police car beacons, colors on

Policemen, mustaches and

Ponds vs. lakes

Quarter-moons vs. half-moons

Rabbit tests, death of rabbits in

Radio, lack of song identification on

Rain, impending, smell of

Recreation vehicles and wheel covers

Recycling of newspaper ink

Red paint on coins