House of Cards (5 page)

Elpis was
giving advice against her sacred Guilder Boarding School and the Privy Council? What other crazy thing was going to happen today? “I appreciate your concern, Madame Elpis. And your advice.” Rae felt the journal slipping slightly down her back and thought of Madame Elpis’ crown tatù; it wouldn’t take the woman long to figure out something was amiss. She needed to get upstairs before someone noticed it or it fell out. “I think I’ll do a bit of that studying now.” She trotted up the stairs, facing Madame Elpis as she stepped by her. As she turned to open the door, she pulled the journal out of the back of her shirt and held it close against her so Madame Elpis wouldn’t see it. “Thanks again,” she called out over her shoulder.

Rae took the stairs two at a time to her room. Inside she tapped the journal against her hand as she glanced around the room trying to find the perfect hiding place. She needed to shower and change
. Not my room,
she thought.
This is too important. My room would be the first place anyone would look if they thought I had it.

She checked her watch. Had it really only taken thirty-five minutes to collect the journal and get back to her room? It
had seemed like hours.

If she jumped in the shower now, she could spend an hour studying the journal before heading over to train with Jennifer. She lifted the mattress of her bed and hid the journal under it, near her feet.
She figured it was a stupid spot, and nobody would look there. At least until after she showered. She would think of a good spot while in the shower. She quickly made the bed and grabbed her toiletries along with a change of clothes.

As she closed the door she noticed her phone on the desk flashing. She must have missed a message or call
.

It could wait ten minutes. Even less if she used her tatù. It might be Devon
after all.

Fractured Aorta

Shower done in record time, body dry and dressed, Rae had finally taken a moment to check her phone. Devon had sent the message. He wanted to come by her dorm this morning. Rae tossed on her new dark blue Lululemon outfit, a la her best friend, shopper extraordinaire, and former roommate, Molly, and quickly dried her hair. She left it down and slipped a ponytail holder on her wrist to use later.

Devon hadn’t said much in the text, but she didn’t care. She couldn’t wait to see him. He’d been badly injured as part of Kraigan’s plot to force her into a to-the-death battle, but in the end, Rae had won and saved Devon’s butt in the process. She smiled. When they had been in the infirmary, she had made a comment about his cute derriere. It was pretty hot.

Rae jumped from her chair and ran to open the door when she heard him on the stairs.

Devon stood, knuckles midair about to knock on her door.
“That was quick.” He grinned.

She hugged him tight but quickly let go when Devon kept his arms at his sides.
“Oops.” They nearly stood in the hallway, door open for the whole dorm to see.
No tatù dating
. She pulled him inside and closed the door.

He reached for her, and kissed her forehead.

“Missed you.” She stepped back so she could drink in his handsome face.

“
Me, too.” Devon ran his fingers through his hair. “I wanted to–”

“Hey, guess what?” Rae inter
rupted, so excited to see him. “I met my Botcher yesterday.”

“Really? Who is it?”

“Jennifer.”

“Leather Jennifer?” His brows went up.

She laughed. “Yeah! Did you know she worked with my mother? I had no idea my mom worked for the PC’s.”

Devon blinked and his eyebrows shot up higher. “Seriously? She was a PC musketeer?”

“You didn’t know either?” She wondered if that information was supposed to be classified. “I know you won’t say anything, but maybe don’t tell Julian. I don’t know if I’m supposed to share that.” Classified or not, she made a mental note to pay close attention to whether or not that information surfaced later. She cared deeply for Devon but even he had not been forthcoming with vital information from the beginning. It didn’t matter right now. For this moment in time, she was determined to simply enjoy being with him. If later, he proved to be untrustworthy, she would deal with it, even if she secretly doubted she could handle that level of betrayal. It simply didn’t bear thinking about.

He crossed his hand over his chest and grinned. The cute dimple appeared. “Your secret is safe with me.”

Rae hugged him again. She wanted to kiss him, to feel his soft lips on hers, but she suddenly felt shy. In the past, she would have pushed that feeling away and rushed headlong into her desires. However, with time, she had learned to listen to her emotions. They were powers all their own.

“Are you training today?”

She nodded. “In a couple of hours. Want to hang out? Julian let me borrow his car today. It took a bit of begging, but he finally said okay. He just got it all fixed up.”
Since I wrecked it.
She wisely left that part unspoken. Devon had been witness to her epic bout of road racing, which had left poor Julian’s beloved jag in less than pristine shape, but he might not have been conscious for all of it. There was no need to remind the poor guy of the trauma he had previously suffered with her behind the wheel.

Devon’s
eyebrows came up, but he didn’t say anything.

“Want to go for a drive?”
Some secluded, quiet street?

He cleared his throat and glanced down. “I’m actually on my way to the train station. Another job.”

“Seriously?” Rae’s excitement fizzled out like a wet sparkler. “You just got back in last night!” Frustration brewed in Rae’s chest. She had a nagging feeling and wanted to spend some private time with Devon, hoping that would quell it, at least for a little while. However, it seemed the PC would come between them yet again.

“I know. Julian’s already left.” He reached for her hand but dropped his arm before touching her. “I told him I needed to see you first.”

Ahhh…
She straightened at a thought. “I’ll drive you to the train station!” That nagging feeling was quickly gaining in intensity.

“Y
-You don’t have to drive me. You should rest. You’re probably exhausted.”

“Oh no you don’t. I’ve barely seen you since, you know, and I have two hours to kill before I have to meet Jennifer
.”

“I was planning on taking my own
car. Using the Park N’ Train. Then I could just drive back here when I’m done.”

“Nonsense.
I’ll pick you up when you get back. Just send me a text or call me when you’re half an hour away.” Rae grabbed Julian’s keys off her desk. She was determined to do this, to carve out what time with him she could.

Devon
raised his hands, and smiled like he’d just lost an argument. “I’ll meet you in the parking lot. I just need to grab my bag from my place.”

Rae chattered a
bout training as they drove the forty minutes to the station. Devon sat quiet the entire ride, nodding now and again when Rae tossed a question his way.

Now standing in the busy train station everything seemed uncomfortable
and she knew she had to ask, even though she half didn’t want to know the answer. “What’s going on?” she asked.

             
“Nothing.”

             
“Liar.” Rae smiled and nudged him with her elbow.

             
Devon’s expression remained serious. He seemed to be debating some inner turmoil. He glanced up at the station clock and then back at her.

             
“Spill it, Dev,” Rae said, setting her feet shoulder width apart. “It’s better out than in.”

             
He paused and dropped his duffle bag at his feet. “I planned to wait till I got back but I’m not sure how long the Privy Council needs me away.” He stared vacantly at the people walking by. “I don’t know how to say it…” He dropped his gaze to the ground. “This isn’t working.”

“What’s not working?”
Goosebumps covered her. Her body seemed to comprehend better than her brain. Everything muted except his voice.

His
next words dropped like a bomb. “It’s… I’m… We need to give each other some space.” Devon finally raised his eyes and met her gaze. “I don’t know how much I’ll be around now and throughout the summer. You need to focus on you, right now. Plus the Privy Council’s got me pretty busy. I don’t want you to have to wait around for me. It’s not fair.”

Rae rubbed her arms
trying to dispel the horrid feeling of cold acid running through her veins.  Fear, anger, pain… It all mingled in the pit of her stomach. Where had this come from? She didn’t understand why he suddenly felt this way. “I would never leave you, even if you couldn’t stay. I’d wait for you… forever.” She desperately tried to put the feelings inside of her into words.

             
Devon took a step back, sliding his bag along with him. “It’s not about me leaving you or vice versa. What we want is bigger than who we are. We need to put our feelings aside and think about what is best for everyone: for the Privy Council, our families, friends, Guilder.”

             
“You know people never accept things they don’t understand, right?” Rae swallowed. She went to touch his arm and realized he’d stepped out of reach. “People are scared of what they don’t know… of different possibilities. We’re different. We could prove to everyone that they have nothing to fear.” She thought about the things her father had written in the journal about marked tatùs being together. She knew Devon, knew at heart he was loyal to the Privy Council and their ideals. She sniffed and wiped the tear running down her cheek. Deep down she knew no matter what she argued, he wasn’t going to change his mind.

             
“I’m not here to prove anything to the world.” Devon raked his hands through his hair. “I’d really like to concentrate on my career at this point in my life. And you… you need to focus on your gift. You need to figure out how it works, find all its weaknesses and strengths.” He ran his tongue over his lips and added in a quieter tone, “You also need to protect yourself from your father’s actions.”

             
Rae straightened. “I think I can protect myself just fine.” She crossed her arms, ticked he thought of her as weak. She had saved his life!

             
“I know you can.” He smiled, but then his face turned serious. He suddenly seemed older. “You’re stronger than you think, and it has nothing to do with your tatù. I know you’ll get through this… get over the idea of us.”

             
“I’d wait for you.” She tried again. Seeing the frustrated look on his face, she tried a different, desperate approach. “When your dad told me to stay away from you, I didn’t know what to do or say. I didn’t want to lose you then, like I don’t want to now. Then Kraigan took you. I was willing to risk everything to keep you safe.”
I saved you
.

             
“I know…Julian told me everything that happened.” Devon stepped toward her and reached for her face. He gently rubbed his thumb against her cheek, wiping the tears away. “You’ll always be special, Rae. To everyone. I hope I can still be a part of your life, just not your center. It’s best for you—for both of us.”

             
The crowded train station jostled and moved around them. To Rae it felt empty, like her broken heart. Devon was breaking up with her and nothing would change his mind. It didn’t make sense. She needed him in her life, but as more than just friends. How could she block the sound of a heartbeat she’d know anywhere? This was what she had been feeling, what her subconscious had known was coming and been trying to warn her of. She felt sick to her stomach and empty at the same time. This couldn’t be happening. They were meant to be together. She couldn’t accept this.

Things would change and he’d see he needed her.
They had to.

             
The station speakers announced Devon’s train would be departing shortly. The monotone voice crackled through the amplifier like a tatù hum through Rae’s body. She made a half-hearted attempt to smile and tried to swallow the baseball-sized lump in her throat. She shifted her weight so his hand dropped away from her face. She would be damned if she broke down in front of him here. He didn’t deserve to see her tears if he was going to do this to her.

             
“Shoot, I gotta go. I can’t miss this train.” Devon grabbed his bag and slung it over his shoulder, his eyes never leaving hers. “I’m sorry I hurt you. It was never my intention.”

Then don’t! Take it back!
Her heart begged him, but she wouldn’t let the message shine through her eyes. If he was looking for it, she wanted to deprive him of it. He didn’t deserve it. Thoughts rushed through her mind now. If she hadn’t pushed him into letting her take him to the station, when would he have done it?
Did I bring this on myself by pushing him? Or has he been meaning to do this for a while and never had the balls to just say it until now? Why now you jerk?