Hotel Ladd (30 page)

“
No, thank you.” Gesturing a
hand toward the sofa, he asked her to sit with him. She did. With
more than a little trepidation, he noted in dismay, but she did.
Cal inhaled deep and full and settled in for what might be his last
evening with the woman he loved. But Annie deserved better than a
man who kept secrets, a man with a past. Not that he could change a
thing, only hope she had enough forgiveness in her heart to spare
him. Cal took her hand in his own, cradled it, admired the soft
skin and fine manicure. Annie was a beautiful woman but more, she
was a smart woman. A capable woman. Two perfect qualities for a
partner in life. Staring into a mountain of question, he began,
“The accident Jack’s been referrin’ to...I wasn’t entirely honest
when I told you it was no big deal.”

Alarm scored her eyes. “Were you hurt
worse than a broken arm?”

“
Naw.” Shame filled his
soul. “I walked away from the accident with barely a scratch and an
arm that healed just fine.”

“
Then what?”

As he looked into Annie’s eyes, vivid
images flooded his mind. It was evening, the hour when a summer
night’s was just settling in. The roads were slick from the rush
hour traffic. It had been raining, not heavy, but steady. Misty.
He’d had a great day at work, stopped by his favorite watering hole
on the way home, had a few drinks. A few. The irony struck him
again how he hadn’t been drunk, only under the influence. Now, if
it had been on a weekend, when he and his buddies got to serious
drinking, things might have been different. He shook the
hypothetical away. As always, he reminded himself, it didn’t
matter. A mangled car was a mangled car. “I was involved in a car
accident. A bad one. It was after work one night, it was raining.”
The storm clouds of concern gathering in her expression were meant
for him. They shouldn’t be.

They should be for the man who lost his
legs. “I hit a car.”

She gasped, flinging a hand to her
mouth.

“
I was turning right,
traveling into his lane. He was driving at a pretty good clip, but
my truck was bigger and the impact rolled his like a tin can.” At
the tremor in Annie’s hand, he lowered his gaze. He couldn’t bear
the growing terror in her eyes. It reminded him of the terror he
felt walking over to the crumpled vehicle. “He ended up flipping
onto the median. I jumped out, of course, and tried to help...” His
voice fell away. But the man was in bad shape, his body contorted
unnaturally within the confines of his seat. Cal allowed the usual
shudder to pass through him. No one should have to witness a human
being twisted like that. It stuck with you. Became a part of you.
“I called the police. The ambulance came. They airlifted him to the
hospital.”

“
Oh, Cal,” she cried,
squeezing hold of his hand. “I’m so
sorry
.”

“
Don’t be sorry for me.” Cal
raised his head to face her head on. “Be sorry for the man I hit.
He’ll never walk again.”

The declaration stopped her cold. He
felt her retreat. Mild, but it was there just the same.

Guilt ripped a hole in his gut. As it
should. “The police questioned me. I told them I’d had a drink
after work. It was a lie. I had more than one. I had a few.” And
while he believed he could handle them, Cal knew the police
wouldn’t understand. They wanted to test his breath. He’d refused.
“They took me down to the station. My lawyer showed up and took
over from there. I didn’t hear about the man’s condition until two
days later.” Even today, when he thought of the consequences, Cal
had trouble breathing, trouble moving, like an elephant sat on his
chest. The guilt stuck with him, ate at him. “I went to see him
afterward, but the family threw me out.” Tears pricked behind his
eyes. Cal would have probably done the same thing had it been his
family member lying in that hospital bed.

“
Did you go to
jail?”

“
No. The official findings
were mixed. Some witnesses on hand said he ran a red light, others
said a yellow. A few said I ran the stop sign. Between six
different eyewitnesses, they couldn’t come up with an absolute
cause.” But his wife had. Caroline pegged him with the accident the
minute he arrived home.
You’d been
drinking, hadn’t you?
He didn’t lie. She
could smell whiskey on his breath and it was all she needed. She
kicked him out of the house that day.

Visibly unsettled, Annie asked, “Why
didn’t you tell me?”

“
Because I was ashamed.
Because I felt responsible.”

“
But the police
said—”

“
I’d been drinking, Annie.
If I blew when they asked me, to I would have failed the
breathalyzer.” Annie slowly closed her mouth. Her withdrawal was
sudden and distinct. “I’m not proud of my actions. Whether I caused
the accident or not is irrelevant. If I hadn’t been drinking, my
reflexes would have been quicker. I would have noticed that car and
stopped. But I didn’t.” He bowed his head. “I kept
going.”

A long silence stretched between them.
Annie removed her hand from his, clasping her knees in a statue of
thought. She didn’t leap to his defense, didn’t wrap her arms
around him in comfort. She sat immobile. Isolated. Cal didn’t blame
her. He wouldn’t blame her if she threw him out on his backside,
now that she knew. It’s what his wife had done. And Annie wasn’t
his wife.

A deep sadness filled him. At this
point she might never be. “There’s something else I have to tell
you.” Panic tore through her blue eyes, her beautiful blue eyes
that deserved to shine with joy, not pain. “I have a
daughter.”

She expelled her breath.
“
A daughter?
”

“
Her name is Emily and she’s
eleven. She lives in Arizona with her mother.”

“
Oh my God...”

Cal understood. It was a shock to her
system. He’d never mentioned the first word about having a child.
But he had to be sure that he and Annie had something important
before he shared that part. It was the ugly part, the tortuous
part. But it was the most important part of all.

If Annie couldn’t handle the issue of
Emily, deem him worth the effort to fight for her forgiveness, than
he needed to know that before tying her up in it. “The accident was
front page news. Her mother left me, and to this day Emily won’t
speak to me.” Annie’s expression embodied the pain and suffering he
felt. As a mother, she understood. Probably far better than he.
“Emily’s the reason I quit drinking, Annie. She’s the reason I left
Arizona. But I’m not letting her go. I’m here for a fresh start. I
intend to prove myself worthy of being her father, a man she can
trust and admire.” He peered at Annie’s hands clenched in her lap.
So close, yet so far. “If you and I have any future together, you
need to know what I’m up against. It’s a battle I can’t fight
alone.”

Cal allowed Annie to digest the
information. She’d need time, he figured, to fully absorb the
significance of his situation. It was time he’d gladly give, should
she ask for it, but Annie wasn’t rushing to his side. Her hands
were gripped so tightly, Cal thought she was going to break her
fingers. He heaved a sigh. Did he expect any different?

“
Cal, I don’t know what to
say.”

“
Say this isn’t the end for
us. Say you’ll work through it with me.”

“
But there’s so much, so
much I didn’t know, that I need to think about...”

He nodded. “I’ll give you time. Just
ask me, I’ll give you all the time you need.”

“
What’s happened to the man?
Do you check in on him, like Jack said?”

It was a fair question. Jack had raised
the issue, it was only fair he come completely clean on the count.
“The man didn’t have insurance. His car was covered, but not his
health. After being cleared of wrongdoing, receiving only a
citation for running a stop sign, I told my lawyer I wanted to pay
for the man’s care. He advised me against it, said it would make me
look guilty. But hell, I’d already been smeared all over the
newspaper. My boss nearly fired me over the incident, my wife left
me, my daughter disowned me, what more could they do? So I told him
to pay it. Pay whatever it took to get the man mobile.”

At the queer look in her eyes, he
explained, “I have money, Annie. Not from my Daddy, but from my
investing. It’s been a hobby of mine and it turns out I’m pretty
good at it. I paid the man’s hospital bill, paid for his rehab, a
fancy wheelchair, but when the family found out, they cut me off.
Told my lawyer to cease and desist, so to speak.”

“
What? Why on earth would
they do that when they didn’t have money to pay for it?”

“
They believed the accident
was my fault and didn’t want to accept tainted money.”

“
That’s absurd.”

Cal shrugged. “Is it? They’re proud
people. I would think that’s something you’d understand.” The
comment iced further protest. Not wanting the conversation to die,
he continued, “I still check in. They have a daughter, little older
than Emily. She goes to a different school. Loves ballet. I sponsor
a scholarship at her local school of dance. It’s the least I can
do.”

“
Have you tried contacting
your daughter? Emily?” she asked tentatively, as though learning to
say a new word.

“
I have. But I have to go
through her mother and her mother is the one puttin’ the brakes on
our relationship. She’s still angry, stuffing the child’s head with
negative thoughts. At this rate I might not be able to talk to her
until she’s of age.”

“
Oh, Cal, you can’t let that
happen. She’s at a very impressionable age. You have to get to her
now, before it’s too late.”

The urgency he heard in Annie’s voice
set his spirit afloat. “Well, I don’t know exactly how I’m supposed
to do it, with her momma acting as block and all.”

“
You have to figure a way
around her.”

Annie’s determination tugged at his
heart. “I’d like to believe there is one, but I’m not sure how to
find it.”

“
We’ll find a way. We have
to. Casey is proof in point, isn’t she? A girl needs her father.
She needs his love and guidance. You can’t give up on
her.”

Cal only heard “we.”
We’ll find a way
. Reaching
over, he unlocked her hands and held them firm. “Does that mean
you’ll give me another chance?”

She looked at him, confused. “Another
chance?” When he nodded, her eyes sparked with realization. “Oh,
Cal.” Her expression fell. “You never lost the first
one.”

The statement roused a raw
need in him.
You never lost the first
one
. Annie hadn’t given up on him. She
hadn’t forsaken him. One mistake, one awful mistake that changed
his life and the lives of others yet she forgave him. “I love you,
Annie.” His confession sucked the air from the room. “I love you. I
want you to be my wife.”

“
Cal,” she said
breathlessly.

“
Do you love me? Could you
love me?”

A smile pulled at her mouth. “Don’t you
know?”

He shook his head. Not really. Not in
her own words. Cal touched a fingertip to her mouth. “Tell
me.”

Tears glistened as she nodded. “I love
you. I love you with all my heart.”

They were the sweetest words a man
could hear. He slipped a hand behind Annie’s neck and pulled her to
him. Tense, unsure, he brushed his lips over hers until the
stiffness eased. Cal kissed her and she responded, exquisite,
gentle. Accepting. His heart trembled as he felt himself on the
edge of something extraordinary. Annie Owens was taking him in. She
was taking his love, his troubles, his promise of a rocky road
ahead and doing so with a tenderness and determination he didn’t
deserve. Cal’s desire mounted. She was giving him the gift of her
love. It was a gift he was going to earn, he would prove himself
worthy. And with a soft swipe of his tongue, Cal’s insides fired
with a hunger that pulled deep inside him. Running his fingers
through the silky tendrils of her hair, he probed deeper, stronger,
seeking to lose himself in her grace. It had been too long since
he’d experienced the love of a woman. The true love, the
unconditional love.

A love he needed something
fierce.

Cal pulled away. A small sigh escaped
from Annie. In the quiet of her living room, the pale lamp light
painted her face with an even greater vulnerability than his own.
Cal ventured, “That was nice.”

Her eyes fluid with emotion, Annie
looked as if she were crossing a bridge. Suspended over fast-moving
water, afraid she might trip and drown. But she wouldn’t. Not with
him by her side. He rubbed a thumb over her cheek, mesmerized by
the feelings streaming through him, between them. “You have no idea
what you mean to me, Annie.” Her eyes darted back and forth across
his. “I need you. I need you to get through this life of mine, to
get to the other side of happy.”

“
Cal, I’m the one with the
needs. You’ve done so much to help me, yet look how I’ve repaid
you. I’ve probably cost you the job with Serenity Springs. It was
everything you wanted and I’ve ruined it.”

“
You haven’t ruined a thing.
Serenity Springs will be fine, with or without me.”