Hot Rebel (33 page)

“I love you.”
 

His eyes burned hot as he stared at her, and her heart began to pound. Then angry tears sprang up, and she dashed them away before they could make a fool out of her.

“You come here two months after you pushed me away in the desert—pushed away my feelings for you—and expect that will make it all better?”

“It’s all I got. The most powerful weapon in my arsenal. And I’m not afraid to use it.”

“I don’t understand you.”

He snorted. “And I don’t understand you. But I need you. I can’t live without you.”

“What’s changed?” Her throat was tight and the words hurt.

His eyes were intense. “Everything. Nothing.”

“It took you two months to figure that out?”

“No, it took me a week. I admit I’m a dumb ass.”

“A week? It’s been two fucking months, Nick.”

He spread his hands. “I’ve been on a mission. I almost called at one point, but I thought this was the kind of thing a man should say in person. I’ve spent two months trying to figure out how to do it.” He took a step toward her, stopped as if he were unsure. “We just got back this morning or I’d have been here sooner. Had to be debriefed first. And then I had to figure out where to find you. You aren’t in New Orleans.”

She shook her head. Her pulse was skipping and jumping, and she wasn’t sure if she was crazy or he was. Or maybe they both were.

“No. The government wants Emily in DC, so here we are. Your colonel arranged for her to get counseling and a job. He kept his word.”

“He’s the one who told me where to find you. How is she?”

Victoria swallowed. “Getting better. She’s tougher than I thought. I still don’t know what she went through with Zaran, but she’s not lingering over his death. She’s not blaming herself either.”

“That’s good. Real good.”

“Yes. She’s working as a barista and seems to like it. She’s even talking about college.”

“And what about you? How are you, Victoria?”

“You asked that already.”

He moved toward her, closing the distance this time until he was right in front of her and she had to tilt her head back to meet his eyes. His heat reached out and enveloped her, made her remember what it was like when there’d been nothing between them but that heat and a passion so strong it had made her tremble and gasp and feel whole in a way she never had before.

“But I don’t think you told me the truth.”

Her heart thumped. “What do you want me to say? That I’ve been lonely and miserable without you? That I go to bed every night and wish you were there? That I’ve had to invest in a bigger vibrator just so I can pretend it’s you?”

His eyes widened at that last, and she tilted her chin up, daring him to say anything.
Asshole. Adorable asshole.

He reached out and put a hand on her cheek. Her body sang in instant recognition. Her brain said she was letting him off too easily, but her body told her brain to fuck off.

“Oh honey, the naughty images in my head right now. I’m getting hard just thinking of it. And jealous. Fucking jealous that anything besides me is getting you off.”

She tried not to respond, but of course that was impossible. Her pussy grew wet, the tissues swelling and aching for his touch.

She pushed away from him, putting distance between them. He dropped his hand and looked at her sadly.

“This is crazy. You show up out of nowhere and say you love me. And you just expect me to believe it.” She folded her arms over her middle as if to protect herself. But there was no protecting herself from him. “You had your chance in Qu’rim, Nick. But you sent me away. You told me to take care of Emily. And that’s what I’m doing.”

“I thought that’s what you wanted. Hell, I wanted it for you. But I’m selfish, and I need you too—maybe more than she does, because without you I’m not whole. I’m not me anymore without you.”

She bowed her head. It was everything she wanted, and yet it terrified her too.

“I know why you’re scared, Victoria. Hell, I’m scared too. I think we’re both used to the people we love leaving us or disappointing us. But we don’t have to do that to each other. We don’t have to watch over our shoulders and constantly wait for something bad to happen.”

She wanted to believe him. So much. For the first time in her life, with him, she’d felt like she had someone she could trust to be there for her no matter what. But then he hadn’t been. He’d walked away.

She lifted her head and fixed him with a glare. Or she hoped it was a glare, anyway.
 

“You still haven’t told me what made you realize you love me. Loneliness and longing aren’t love, Nick. And if all you’ve missed is fucking, then that’s not nearly enough, is it?”

His eyes widened. And then he looked angry. “Fucking? You think that’s all I care about? Pussy is pussy, sweetheart. If that’s all I needed, I know where to get it. But it’s the whole package I want—the gorgeous woman with the heart and guts to do whatever needs done, the woman with the sweetness to care about people like Ian Black even when all evidence says she’d be better off not caring at all, the woman who fights for those she loves and never gives up, the woman who had the balls to tell my colonel—the scariest man I know, by the way—to fuck off, and who somehow got him to give her everything she wanted and more. I want that woman, and yeah, I definitely want to make love to her as often as possible—but that’s not all it is. Not by a long shot.”

Victoria blinked. She was… stunned. That was the word.
Stunned.

But he wasn’t finished.

“When did I realize it? That’s what you asked, right? I think I knew when I walked out of your room that day in Baq, but I thought I was doing the right thing by sending you home where you’d be safe. But no, I didn’t admit it to myself then. I…” Here his voice choked off, and she was stunned to see that he had to get control of himself. Of his emotions.

“I got a picture from Shelly. An ultrasound. I’ve never felt so proud or so alone in my life as I did that day. And the one person I wanted to share it with wasn’t there.
You
weren’t there, Victoria. That’s when I knew how stupid I’d been. I should have been happy, but I was alone and miserable. I love you, and I’ve been an asshole, and I’m sorry. I let you go, and I let you think it was because I didn’t love you. There’s nothing I regret more than that.”

She didn’t realize she was actually crying until he moved toward her and lifted his hands to her cheeks. She felt the moisture when he rubbed it dry with his thumbs.

“Please don’t cry, honey. I hate it when you cry. And I hate that I’m the one who made you do it.”

She bowed her head, and he pulled her forward until she touched his chest. She could feel his heart beating hard and fast, and her own leapt in response.

Slowly, she put her arms around his waist. When she did, he shuddered and hugged her tight. Joy unfurled in her soul then. She believed him. She really believed him.

She tilted her head back to gaze up at him with shining eyes. “You’re a dickhead, Nick Brandon, but I love you anyway.”

“Thank God,” he said.
 

And then he kissed her.

*
 
*
 
*

“Hey, Brandy, did you know you’ve got a goofy look on your face?” It was Iceman who’d sidled up to him at the outdoor bar.

“Yep.”

Nick took a sip of his beer and continued to watch Victoria laughing with Hawk’s wife, Gina; Richie Rich’s fiancée, Evie; and Lucky MacDonald. Knight Rider’s Georgie and Billy Blake’s Olivia were playing a game of cards with Emily, who looked happy and healthy these days.
 

Flash took her a drink and she looked up at him with a smile. He lingered for a minute, but then Dex and Chase “Fiddler” Daniels came over and dragged him away.

“So you fell to cupid’s arrow. Damn shame.” Iceman took a swig of his own beer. “Thought you’d hold out longer.”

“Shut up, Ice. And hey, you could be next, so don’t gloat too much.”

Ice snorted. “Me? Fuck no. Not happening. Not a woman alive has a pussy golden enough I need to keep going back to the same one.”

Nick laughed. “That’s what we all said. And then you find out pussy hasn’t got a damn thing to do with it.”

Ice looked as if Nick were speaking a foreign language. “Dude, that’s insane talk.”

“Yeah, whatever.” He started to stand up and go over to Victoria, yank her away from the ladies, and see if she wanted to go join him in their room for a few minutes.
 

Hawk and Gina had a house on the Eastern Shore, and they liked to have everyone over to share it with them. The house was big enough so they all had their own rooms if they wanted to stay for the weekend, and everyone had a good time. It was a place to decompress and just be with a bunch of people who understood you better than anyone else.

He was halfway to Victoria when someone new arrived. Colonel Mendez always looked a touch strange in jeans and a button-down instead of a uniform, but the colonel still managed to wear civvies with as much authority as if he had his birds on his shoulder boards instead.

The men all snapped to something resembling attention. Even Lucky perked up.

“For fuck’s sake, as you were,” the colonel grumbled.

Everyone relaxed. He went over to Gina and gave her a hug and a peck on the cheek, then he shook Jack’s hand. After that, he grabbed a beer and went to sit on his own at one of the tables. Victoria ambled over and sat down with him. Nick thought about joining them, but the colonel looked serious and Victoria was nodding.

He wanted to protect her, but she didn’t need protecting. And she wouldn’t appreciate it if he tried. She’d tell him what it was about when she got a chance.

She swiveled her head until their gazes met. That was his signal. He walked over and put his hand on her shoulder. Mendez’s eyes were filled with good humor.

“You too, eh, Brandy? Fucking knew it the second you walked into my office in Baq with this girl.”

Nick wanted to protest that
he
hadn’t known it then, so how could the colonel, but what was the point?

“Yes, sir, me too.” He squeezed Victoria’s shoulder. “Best decision of my life.”

“Good deal, son. Good deal.”

Victoria looked up at him and his heart hitched. He still wasn’t used to that sensation, but he liked it even while it scared the shit out of him. He was so deep in love he’d never find his way out again. Nor did he want to.

“The colonel repeated his offer for me to join HOT. What do you think?”

What did he think? He thought he didn’t want her in the line of fire ever again. But then he thought that there was no better partner on earth in a firefight than her.
 

“I think you should do what your gut tells you to do.”

She smiled and his world lit up. “You are one smart man.”

“When I’m not being a dickhead, right?”

She laughed. “Right.” Then she looked at Mendez again. “I accept your offer, Colonel. I think my sister is ready to have me out of her hair, and I’m ready to get back to doing the work I know best.”

Mendez’s grin reminded Nick of a wolf just before it ate you. “Excellent news, Miss Royal. I’ll start the wheels in motion. You’ll be onboard within days. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I should mingle.”

Mendez got up and went over to talk to some of the other guys. Nick pulled Victoria to her feet. She looked a little worried and a little excited at the same time.

“You sure about this?” he said.

“Yes. Very sure.”

“Then that’s all I need to know.” He lifted an eyebrow. “Want to take a stroll with me? Maybe check out the firmness of our mattress?”

She laughed. “Didn’t we just do that this morning?”

“And your point?”

“Yeah, you’re right, I don’t have one.”

Nick pulled her toward the house. Within minutes, he had her naked and pinned beneath him. He tasted her while she shuddered and begged him for more, his tongue sliding around her swollen clit, into her wet pussy, then back up again and again.
 

“Love doing this to you,” he said against her wet flesh, and her thighs trembled.

“You’ll pay for this, Preacher Boy. Just as soon as I… ah… oh God…”

He licked her ferociously then, taking her mercilessly over the edge. When she was still quivering, he flipped her over and pulled her up until she got on her knees. She gripped the headboard when he entered her, and he bent over and bit her shoulder as he slid all the way home.

“Love you,” he growled. “So much.”

“I love you too. Now shut up and fuck me.”

He pulled out and rocked into her, watching as his cock disappeared into her slick passage. He did it again and again, watching, holding himself back while she writhed and moaned.
 

He loved the sheen of her skin, the dip of her back, the way her hair slid against her skin as he slammed into her. He loved the way she gripped the headboard and pushed herself back against him. He loved the sounds she made—her moans, her keening cries—and the sounds they made together, as well as the wet slide of his dick into her pussy, the slap of flesh against flesh.