Hot Pink Heels (The Street Series) (12 page)

“No, no, no, you’re confused again,” Jackson said. “It’s not just prostitutes and hookers, I could sleep with someone in our choir and I would lose my job if it came out, not to mention the fact that it’s wrong.”

“Well then, let me just save you some time,” Amanda said
forcefully. “Don’t come looking for me again unless you’re ready to pay for it.” She rubbed her fingers together as she said it and then turned to head toward the building, but Jackson stopped her again, his hand on his arm.

“Do you still have my card?” Jackson asked, and she patted her purse. “Good, then I want you to think about something. Are you listening?”

“Fine,” Amanda said, staring at the ground. “What is it?”

“My parents want someone to live with t
hem to keep the place up. They’re getting on in their years and they’re looking for someone younger to do housework, possibly cook, and they asked if I might be able to get you to come back out there to live with them,” he said. Noticing her hesitation, he took that as a positive sign and pushed on. “In exchange for your help, the food and room would be free, plus you would still be able to get in some time with another side job or maybe even take some acting classes, if that’s what you really want to do.”

“Forget it, Jack,” she said flatly. “Thanks
, but no thanks. Why would your parents want a hooker to move in with them when they could get some nice girl from the suburbs to do the job? Plus, I have a life here and I’m happy.” Happy was a relevant term, wasn’t it?

“What life?” Jackson asked her. “The one where you sleep with men for money?”

This time, Amanda’s hands were quicker than Jackson’s, and her right palm connected with his left cheek.

“I deserved that,” Jackson said, looking down at Amanda. “I’m sorry, I had no right to judge you. I’ve got my own two-by-four in my eye to deal with.”

“What the hell does that mean?” Amanda stared at him with unshed tears in her eyes. “Never mind. I don’t give a crap. Just stay away from me, Jack. I thought you were different, but you stand there, judging me, and then you throw your parents at my feet like a bone to a stray dog just to ease your conscience. I’m not falling for it.”

She turned on her heel and headed for the door to the stairwell of the apartment building. She felt Jackson watching her as she walked away.

“Amanda, I’m sorry,” he said. “If you change your mind, the offer from my parents is still open.”
And I will tell them about the offer they’ve so generously made as soon as I can call them in the morning
, Jackson told himself.

Amanda flipped him off without turning around, a signature move that gave her confidence and raised her flagging spirits. She was soon out of sight and she allowed her shoulders to slump and the tears to come.
Why did I ever think he was different?
He’s a man, Amanda; they’re all the same.

Clarissa had hailed a cab to take her home from the fundraiser, and the next morning, Jackson knew he was in big trouble. She was ignoring his calls an
d not answering his texts. Opening up his laptop, he tried to catch her on instant messaging, but as soon as he opened it up her status went to inactive.

Since he couldn’t reach her to apologize, Jackson decided to call his parents. It was almost 8 a.m. and he knew they’d already have been up for a couple of hours. They liked to take early morning rides on
Chuck’s Harley when the weather cooperated, and today was no exception.

“Hello?” His mother answered the phone, still sounding a bit breathless, as if she’d just finished running a race.

“Mom? Hey there, you and Dad’ve been out on the bike?” Jackson started out with small talk, unsure of how to broach the subject of Amanda’s possible move-in.

“Oh hello, Jack dear,” Laura’s breathing was quickly returning to normal. “I didn’t expect you to call so early, what with the fundraiser going late last night and everything. How did it turn out?”

“Well, it was everything Clarissa hoped it would be,” Jackson started.
Nope, no stalling.
“Okay, here’s the deal, Mom. Turns out that Amanda showed up at the fundraiser last night with Phil. She went through with the abortion, but she’s in the escort business now. I gave her a ride home because you know how Phil has never been able to hold his liquor. Anyway, I sort of invited her to live with you and Dad.” Everything came out in a rush, his exhaustion from a sleepless night catching up with him.

“Oh Jackson,” his mother murmured. “God’s so funny sometimes. Your father and I were just talking about Amanda this morning. Well, I mean, she did her best to keep us at arm’s length, but you know how we can’t turn away an injured soul, whether human, feline or canine.”

Jackson laughed. “Of course, I should’ve known,” he said. “You two feel like you need a new project to work on, and you’ve decided Amanda is just the one? She’s not a cat, you know. She’s not going to just be satisfied with coming to your house and laying in the sun like one of your ridiculously fat Garfield-style felines.”

“Of course we know that,” his mother’s laugh tinkled merrily over the phone line.
“But seriously, you know ever since Melanie has been gone, our hearts have been as empty as her bedroom.” Laura paused, and the memories washed over Jackson again, as fresh as the day it had happened.

“I guess what I’m trying to say is, we’d be happy to have Amanda share our home and help us out, if that’s what you think is best,” she said. Jackson could hear the ragged emotion in her voice, a testament to just how close the memories were to the surface of their everyday lives.

“Mom, you’re the best,” Jackson said, his own voice sounding a bit scratchy from the tears he was holding back. “So far she’s not interested, but I’ll keep you posted. I love you, Mom.”

“Son, you know I love you too,” Laura said before he hung up.

Amanda woke up slowly, fighting to stay in the dream where she was wearing white and dancing in Jackson’s arms. Opening her eyes, she saw her dingy apartment and realized she hadn’t even bothered to change before throwing herself across her bed last night.

A white dress, yeah, that’ll happen, Amanda. What is it with this guy? Why can’t you just let him go? He’s a man, and eventually all men want one thing: sex. Just because he stopped last night doesn’t mean he won’t eventually want that one thing from her.

Amanda tried to figure out what it was that made Jackson stop so suddenly, so she played the scene over in her mind, remembering his warm lips and solid body, one hand in her hair while the other explored the rest of her. That hand had been cruising all over when it got to her stomach, and that’s when she sat straight up in bed.

Jackson h
ad been turned on all right, but when his hand touched her stomach, he stopped immediately.
He’s that disgusted with what I did
.
He hates me for it, and he hates himself for kissing me because of what I did to my baby.

That next morning, Amanda was shopping for a few items to help complete her newly required wardrobe before she had to be at the diner for the lunch shift. So far, she wasn’t having any luck.
Or is it just that you can’t get Jackson out of your mind? The way he kissed you back like he couldn’t live without you, the way you felt wanted and safe, all at the same time?

Shaking her head, she looked at the shoe in her hand. It was gorgeous, but the price on the bottom had her catching her breath and carefully returning it to the display. She really needed to pay attention. She only had about an hour and she had to get some serious pieces that would be the core of her closet.

Turning from the accessories, Amanda focused on a rack of colorful shift dresses, but she knew she needed something more neutral to be the centerpiece. The material was right, the silky chiffon slinking through her hands. There it was, the same dress in black. That’s what she needed: a more tasteful version of the little black dress.

There were only two left on the rack, and she prayed one of them would be in her size.
Size 0, ugh, please. Wait, this one is a size 6! I might be able to make it work somehow.
Amanda whisked into the fitting room and slipped the soft material over her head. Facing the mirror, she saw it was not as close as she’d hoped. Her breasts, which had been almost spilling over her bra last week, were pretty much back to normal, which made the shift-style several inches too large on top.

Wanting a different view, Amanda stepped out to see her reflection in the 3-way mirror. Her face was pale, but what else was new? The black dress was dreamy, except for the loose fit on top. It hit her just above the knees and was both tasteful and narrow, with the long slit up the back
allowing for movement and adding the zing she needed.

Speaking of movement, she noticed a woman watching her from the counter.
Great, they probably think I don’t belong in here
. On the contrary, as she spun slowly in front of the mirror, the honey-kissed blonde approached her, the perfect pair of black heels in her hand.

“These will go with that dress and will really sex it up,” said the blonde. “That dress is just about perfect. Did you know we offer complimentary alterations? We could take in the top in no time an
d you’ll be on your way to a cocktail party before you can snap your fingers.”

Amanda was silent. She couldn’t believe the woman was actually speaking to her and not in a way that made her want to run from the store. She was almost having fun. The only thing missing from this shopping trip was…her mom.

The last time she’d shopped, really shopped for decent clothing, she’d been with her mom. They took those monthly shopping dates seriously, challenging each other to find the cutest or prettiest outfit from top to bottom, including accessories. They gave each other a different budget each time, but it was always a contest to see who could find the better deal.
Mom always won.
She stared over the saleswoman’s shoulder, remembering.

What Amanda wouldn’t give for one of those shopping trips with her mom right now. She’d love her opinion of this dress, and she’d find heels to match that looked just as good and were half the price. And what advice would her mom give when it came to the baby, the abortion, her choices and Jackson?

To both her and the saleswoman’s surprise, Amanda suddenly burst into tears.

Jackson had left half a dozen messages for Clarissa, but he knew he needed to see her face-to-face to deliver the decision he’d made
on the night of the fundraiser. Breaking off the relationship was the right thing to do. It was going nowhere and that was unfair to Clarissa. Especially when he feared he might be falling for someone else.
There, you finally admitted it, you big idiot.

He’d gotten himself into a hell of a mess, and Jackson was under no assumptions that it was anyone’s fault but his own. He’d have to figure it out, but he had to start with Clarissa.

Her little red car was in the driveway, so he knew she was home. Ignoring the doorbell, he knocked lightly, almost hoping she wouldn’t hear. That would give him time to come up with a better way to break the news to Rissa.

Although it was common for the housekeeper, Eliza, to answer the door, this time Clarissa was on the other side when it opened. Jackson smiled, albeit weakly, while Clarissa remained silent. She stepped back, allowing him to enter, but he hesitated.

“C’mon, Jackson,” she sighed. “Let’s go to the back veranda and talk.” Leading the way, she called out instructions. “Eliza, we could use some of your peach iced tea out on the garden veranda.”

“Yes ma’am,” Eliza said, appearing from nowhere. She was almost scary silent as she moved about Clarissa’s home, quietly keeping order in the large
rooms. “I’ll bring it right out,” she said, winking at Jackson.

She probably figures I’m here to spend time with Clarissa, but she has no idea what’s coming. She’s made no bones about
her excitement for the day we finally marry and I move in here at the big house.
Jackson swallowed the lump in his throat, finding it had somehow gotten bigger, although he’d thought it wasn’t possible.

“I can’t wait to rock your babies, Mr. Jackson,” she’d told him on more than one occasion. “You make beautiful babies with Ms. Clarissa.”

Jackson stepped out onto the veranda, which overlooked the fragrant gardens and the sparkling pool. He’d enjoyed some great times here, mostly as a kid, as Clarissa’s parents had hosted youth pool parties several times every summer. He and Clarissa had been thick as thieves back then, and he supposed it was just natural that they would fall into a dating relationship after high school.

Clarissa indicated his chair and they both took a seat at the wrought iron table, the bright blue umbrella matching Clarissa’s eyes. As she looked at him, he realized she knew. She knew why he was there, but it didn’t make this any easier.

After Eliza deposited their tall glasses of tea complete with the little umbrella and set down the silver plate loaded with her famous sugar cookies, she smiled at Jackson before departing inside on silent feet.