Authors: N.S. Moore
Wren
There’s a lot of blood.
All over Deke’s head and face, pooling now on the floor. On Code’s hands and shirt and even sprayed on the bedding.
Now it’s on me too. Blood all over me.
I feel a wave a nausea and turn away from the body on the floor.
Code steps over and reaches out for me, but stops himself before he touches me. “Are you all right?”
“Yeah. What are we going to do? Code, what are we going to do?”
“I don’t know. We can just try to clean things up and leave with the tour as we planned, but we know they’ll find his body eventually and trace us to the tour.” His face twisted. “Shit, what a mess. I can’t drag you into this anymore. I’ll just turn myself in.”
“No,” I gasp, turning around to face him fully and reaching out to grab his shirt, regardless of the blood. “I’m not going to let you do that. They’ll send you to prison for the rest of your life. I’m not going to let that happen.”
His blue eyes grow so soft I might drown in them. “Oh, baby, I don’t know that we have a choice. I’m not sorry I killed Deke. I’d do it again without a blink of the eye. He was going to hurt you, and no one gets to do that. But…” He reaches out and takes my face in his bloody hands. “If there’s a price to pay for doing it, then I’ll pay that price. For you.”
My whole body has started to shake, differently than a few minutes before when Deke had his horrible hands and body all over me. “I don’t want you to pay the price. I’ll pay it.”
“I’m never going to let you pay more of a price than you’ve already paid. Not while I’m alive, anyway.”
I feel tears burning in my eyes as I try to wrap my mind around what’s going to happen now. Code will be arrested. I’ll be sent home. He’ll go to prison for kidnapping and robbery and murder. I’ll never see him again.
And I can’t stand it. I can’t stand a world where that’s what happens, when life finally has seemed to offer me something I really want.
“No,” I say, wiping away a few tears with my fingertips. “I’m not going to let you take all this on yourself. Let’s think for a minute before we go off half-cocked.”
“Half-cocked is the story of my life,” he mutters, slanting me a little look.
The surprising hint of humor, at such a tense time, causes me to choke on a laugh, and the laughter pushes me right into tears. I hug my arms to myself, trying to control the emotion, and Code gives a low groan and pulls me into his arms. “Oh, baby.”
His words and his tight hold are comforting, despite the bleak circumstances, and I manage to pull myself together pretty quickly.
Then I pull away and make myself clear my mind. “Okay. I’m okay. Let’s try to think of a plan. If we’re going to go on that tour, we’ll have to get rid of this body and clean up enough that no one knows what happened in this room.”
“Yeah.” He wipes his hands on a small clean section of his shirt, and then he wipes his sweaty face. “I don’t know that we can do it. Getting rid of a body isn’t as easy as it looks in movies, and it’s morning now. Daylight. We can hardly just heft him up and carry him to the dumpster.”
“Then we’ll have to dump the tour. The room is tied to it. We can’t let them find us that way.”
“But then we’re still stuck with the same problem of getting across the border. They’re sure as hell watching for you. On the tour, we had some protection. But, even with pink hair, if it’s the two of us, I’m not sure we’ll make it.”
“Shit.” I close my eyes and look downward, trying to make my brain think, when it’s still a blur of lingering fear, adrenalin, and emotion. “If they catch us, maybe we can explain that it was self-defense.”
“If it was you that killed him, then they’d probably buy it. But since I kidnapped you, they’re not likely to let me go just because I killed Deke because he was trying to rape you.”
I suddenly open my eyes and straighten up. “That’s it. I killed him.” I glance over at Deke’s body and shudder. “He was trying to rape me, so I grabbed the lamp and killed him. I’m a kidnapping victim, and I saw my chance and did what I had to do to survive. They’ll believe me.”
“Yeah, but I still kidnapped you and helped to hold up a bank. They’ll still arrest me. But that’s okay.”
I felt a surge of hard knowledge, of bitter certainty. It swept through my body, propelling me a step toward him. “No, it’s not okay. They’re not going to arrest you. Because you’ll be gone. You’ll be gone.”
His face darkens. “What do you mean I’ll be gone? I’m not going to leave—“
“Yes, you are. Don’t you see? This is the only way. You’ll be able to move easier on your own. You have the fake ID. Just hitch a ride or take a bus. They won’t be looking for a man alone.”
“And what about you?” he grits out, something tense shuddering through his body.
“I’ll give you a little head start and then I’ll call the cops. I’ll say this guy is one of the bank robbers. He kidnapped me, and I killed him in self-defense when he was trying to rape me. His face is all beat up. They won’t know he’s not the one who kidnapped me.”
I don’t actually know if this plan will hold up, but there’s potential in it. There’s hope. Hope that Code can get through this.
That’s what matters to me most now.
He reaches over and takes my face in his hands again. “There’s no way in hell I’m going to let you deal with this by yourself. If I’m leaving, then you’re coming with me. And if you’re staying, then I’m staying too.”
I pull myself out of hands, feeling strong, whole, certain for the first time in my life. I see the pathway of light now. It’s just not the one I always thought it was.
I’m also crying as I say, “No, you’re not. Don’t you see? There’s no happy ending for us here. There’s no bright, peaceful place where we can just be together. Not in this world.” I make a quick gesture down to the floor. “There’s a dead body here, and it’s not going to go away. The cops are looking for you, and they’re not going to give up. And I can’t erase who I really am to run away with you. I can’t give up my dad. He’s been the only one who cared about me for years. Nothing comes without a price in this world. You can’t pay the price alone. So let me pay too—by letting you go.”
Code’s face is twisting, breaking. Just like his heart. Just like my heart.
“Don’t you see?” I go on, swiping at the tears that keep falling. “The world is what it is. There’s no peaceful place. So please give me this at least. Give me the knowledge that you’re okay. Please, Code. Please leave.”
“Oh, fuck, baby,” he groans, pulling me into a hard kiss. He murmurs over my lips. “Fuck, baby. You’re the closest I’ve ever been to free. You’re the first really good thing I’ve ever had in my life.”
“Then let me stay good. Let me do this.” I’m clinging to him, feeling his strong body against mine, knowing it’s the last time I’ll ever feel it.
“Okay.” The words are choked, like they’re forced out of him. “Okay.”
I don’t ever want to pull away from him, but I make myself do it anyway. Because the minutes are passing too quickly, and this plan will only work if he leaves soon. “Thank you. Help me think through this room, to make sure my story will hold up.”
It takes a minute, but he then shifts focus to the task at hand. “Fingerprints. We can’t wipe my fingerprints from the lamp without it looking strange. But yours need to be on it too.”
“Mine are. I tried to hit him with the lamp earlier. Then he grabbed it from me.”
“Good. As long as yours are there.” He’s eyeing the scene with an almost professional eye. “So your story will be he tried to rape you. You grabbed the lamp to try to hit him, but there was a struggle so you both ended up on the floor. Then you were able to get in the hit hard enough to kill him.”
I nod, twisting my hands together. “That’s good. I’ll say I was in shock so I just sat for a while before I could get myself together enough to call the police. That will give you a little time to get away and explain if they can tell that he’s been dead longer than a few minutes. If they test the lamp and case for fingerprints, they’ll find yours. Will they know your identity then?
“My fingerprints aren’t on file anywhere. They won’t be able to identify me through them. I’ll be fine. It’s you I’m worried about.”
“Well, I’m worried about you. I think this will work, but you have to leave now.”
His face suddenly grows fierce. “I’m going to keep tabs on you, even from Mexico. And if it looks like you’re getting in trouble for any of this, I’m going to come back. You’re not going to suffer any more because of me.”
I’m so touched I almost start to cry again, but I fight against the instinct. “Okay. Now, please, Code. You need to leave.”
He gives a jerky nod. Then goes to the sink and washes his hands and face. He pulls off his bloody t-shirt, pulls on a clean one, and stuffs the bloody one in his bag.
“Do you have any cash?” I ask, hardly believing that this is really happening, that Code is going to walk away from me for good.
“I’ve got enough. The diamonds and most of the stolen cash stay here with you.” He moves over toward me and starts to reach out, as if he’ll pull me into his arm. But he stops himself.
He can’t touch me anymore. I’m still covered with blood.
I choke on a sob and cover my face briefly. Then I pull myself together and say, “Okay. I’m ready. You need to go.”
He looks torn in two, the parts of himself doomed to never be united again. It’s exactly how I feel too. “Take care of yourself, baby.”
“You too. You too, Code.” I’m hugging myself again, trying to hold my shaky body still.
“I love you. Just so you know.”
I give a little whimper and manage to say, “I love you too.”
He’s reached the door now. His hand is on the doorknob. “Maybe one day we can find that peaceful place.”
Not in this world. Both of us know it.
“That’s what we’ll hope for,” I tell him.
Then he’s opening the door. Stepping outside. Closing it behind him.
Leaving me alone with a dead body, in a world that’s nothing but the dark, threatening billows over the water now. No pathway of light.
Code
I can’t keep fucking living like this. I’m like a goddamn sewer rat—sneaking around in dark alleys and running in a fucking never-ending maze.
I take the stairs two at a time all the way to the main floor and sneak around to the utility corridor and out through the back. Fortunately, this isn’t an upscale hotel or there would be security cameras. It’s been better than most of the places Wren and I have stayed, but definitely out of date.
Out behind the hotel, I hop over a fence and run through an overgrown field of something—I don’t even fucking care at this point—and then wind my way through alleys and side streets until I’m about a half a mile away.
Everything in me hurts—my hands, my feet, my jaw…my heart.
I turn around but I can’t see the hotel anymore. There’s too many buildings and obstacles between us.
She saved my life.
I’m standing on a corner in the early morning light, and all I can think is that Wren just saved my fucking life.
I’ve been saved before—in the hospital, years ago when I tried to OD—but this is different. It wasn’t her job. It wasn’t what she was paid to do. She did it for me.
Because she loves me.
By now, the cops are probably there—questioning her, badgering her. She’ll be sitting there in her torn and bloody clothes, and she’s going to lie for me. To give me chance to live.
I don’t even know how to process that.
I’ve never known another human being to be so selfless. After everything I put her through—everything I did to her—she still managed to see the good in me, even when I can’t see it anymore myself.
I hate the thought of the cops looking at her, talking to her, making her talk about what had happened to her.
I’ve witnessed Wren when she gets on board to tell a lie. She’s pretty damn believable. She’s gonna have to be to convince the cops that it was Deke all along who had kidnapped her. Who had tried to rape her.
Who she killed.
I feel sick to my stomach. What kind of asshole am I that I let her deal with this shit by herself? How could I have left her to clean up my mess? My mess. Not hers.
I want to go back.
I want to be there to comfort her.
To tell her that I’ll protect her—even at the expense of my own life.
I hear sirens off in the distance. It’s too late.
There aren’t a lot of cars on the road just yet, and I finally look around and get my bearings. If I’m lucky, I can hitch a ride and cross over the border this afternoon.
But I’m torn. So fucking torn that I want to howl and scream.
How the fuck did I even get here? There are millions of people out there with lives worse than mine used to be. I was a spoiled fucking brat who was tired of living his life like some sort of dog and pony show and rather than just man up and confront my family, here I am.
A bank robber.
A kidnapper.
A rapist.
A murderer.
And those are just the ones at the top of the list. It’s not even worth listing the petty offenses.
Either way, I’m so beyond fucked up that I don’t even know how to get back—back to who or what I was before—or if there’s a way to find a happy medium.
I don’t know.
I’m so fucking tired—tired of running, tired of hiding…just….tired.
I’ve been on the run for so long—first from my family, then from Deke and now…from myself. I can’t even imagine what it’s like to just be still and live a normal life.
I would love to have a normal life.
With Wren.
We would’ve had an awesome life—even if it was in Mexico. I think we could’ve been good together. Good for one another.
But that’s gone now. That’s never gonna happen. And it makes me want to howl with rage again. How is it possible that I miss her already? We’ve been together…what? A week? But she’s a part of me.
The best part of me.
Maybe I should just turn myself in. Maybe I should just walk up to the nearest police officer and just spew my fucking sad tale and let him haul my ass off to jail.
I hear us singing in that fucking school choir again, the words echoing through the years, along the scattered fragments of my life.
And before I’d be a slave, I’ll be buried in my grave. And be free.
“Hey, dude? You waiting for the bus?” Some guy is standing next to me, he looks a little like I feel—tired, worn out…defeated. I hadn’t even noticed that I was standing next to a sign for the bus.
I nod. “I guess. I’m making my way to Mexico and my last ride dropped me a couple of blocks from here. I’m not sure where exactly to go.”
Not exactly a lie.
“Yeah, that’s an old sign. There’s a new route now. The stop is about two blocks up.”
I nod again. “Thanks.”
“But if you’re looking to go into Mexico today, my buddies and I are heading out that way. I’m walking to meet them now. You’re welcome to join us. You know, if you want.”
I stare at this guy like I can’t even believe he’s standing there. He’s maybe twenty-four or twenty-five years old, a little rough around the edges and he’s offering me…a lifeline.
“You sure?” I ask, still unwilling to believe that anyone could be this kind.
Other than Wren.
He nods. “Yeah, man. Sure. It’s not that far away but it’s a bitch if you have to deal with the bus route or even walking.” He holds out a hand to me to shake. “I’m Max.”
I shake his hand and give him a weak smile. “Hey, Max. I’m…Cody. Nice to meet ya.”
Together we walk about four blocks and meet up with his friends. There are four of them. They’re all just a bunch of normal guys trying to figure out what the fuck to do with their lives.
Just like me.
After a quick breakfast, we all pile into a car and not much later, we’re over the border.
And just like that, it’s over.
I have my life back.