Hope for Tomorrow (27 page)

The grandfather clock rang four o'clock at that point and Lucien excused himself, saying that he had to get on and had only stopped in on the off chance of seeing Peter. He asked Mrs Gatley to pass on his best wishes to her husband and left.

“
Clever girl,” he said softly to himself as he headed down the steps.

When he arrived home he set about writing to her, asking about the story which was now circulating about her and once again asking for her forgiveness.

He received a curt reply two days later informing him that his mother had not kept the secret as he expected and that the new rumour was spread thanks to a good friend who was trying to save her reputation.

He sighed and put the letter down. He was beginning to despair of ever being forgiven.

Two weeks later, when Martha still hadn't thawed towards him, he decided that he had to go and see her in person. He didn't write first because he feared that she would refuse him, instead he turned up out of the blue, determined to have things out with her.

Chapter Twenty Four

Martha and Gus were completing a jigsaw puzzle with Hope on Sunday afternoon when the doorbell rang and the maid announced that Lord Beaumont was here to see them.

“
Who's that?” Hope asked, for she only knew him as Lucien.

“
No one, darling. You carry on with Gus while I take care of our visitor.”

Martha followed the maid to the front parlour.

“
Can I get you anything, Ma'am?” the maid asked.

“
No, thank you.” Martha closed the door after the maid and crossed her arms over her chest as she turned to Lucien. “What do you want?”

“
To say sorry.”

“
You have already expressed those sentiments.”

Lucien stood, realising that she wasn't going to sit down and hear him out.

“
I made a mistake, Martha, I'm sorry but please don't throw away what we have.”

“
You gave me your word that you would keep my secret.”

“
Yes, and I am so sorry. Give me another chance, please?”

“
I can't.”

“
Can't or won't?”

“
Both.”

Lucien sighed.

“
You shouldn't have come here,” she said.

“
I had to.”

“
Well, I would appreciate it if you would leave.”

Lucien headed for the door but stopped before he opened it.

“
I'm not perfect, Martha. I have never claimed to be but at least I know my faults and am trying to correct them.”

“
What is that supposed to mean?” she asked.

“
It means that you need to have a long look at your own behaviour.”

She finally looked at him, shocked by his words.

“
How dare you-”

“
How dare I?” He interrupted her. “What about you? You and Hope nearly starved! Had you stayed we would have worked something out but no, your pride was wounded and you ran. Twice! You wouldn't even accept any financial help, for pity's sake! Don't even try to tell me that you didn't consider running when we met in your shop.”

He had hit a raw nerve, for Martha had sorely regretted her hasty actions as she had struggled to support Hope. Back then she would have willingly thrown herself on Lucien's mercy had she been given the chance. She hated thinking about those times, about how close she and Hope had come to entering the workhouse or worse, starving to death but she had no choice now that Lucien had reminded her.

As she made her way to the closest chair and sat down, looking thoroughly demoralised, Lucien regretted his hasty words.

“
I'm sorry,” he said. “I didn't mean-”

“
Yes you did,” she cut him off. “And you are right; my pride was wounded and I have regretted refusing your help.”

“
You made a mistake, something I am very familiar with but you have been a wonderful parent to Hope.”

“
I often wonder,” she admitted. “I spend so much of my time trying to build us a reputation and secure her future that at times I feel as though she takes a back seat.”

Lucien knelt in front of her and placed his hands over hers.

“
You are a wonderful and loving mother,” he assured her. “I only wish that my own mother could have had a fraction of your love for her.”

Martha smiled slightly.

“
I'm sorry,” she said. “Seeing you with Hope, I know now that I shouldn't have kept her from you all those years. I was frightened of what might happen if you found us again.”

“
I understand.”

“
But that doesn't make it right,” she said.

“
Then please don't run from me again,” he begged. “I know that I made a horrible mistake and I know what kind of impact it could have had on our lives-”

“
You mean my and Hope's lives,”she corrected.

“
No, I mean all our lives. Martha, I have said that I want to marry you and nothing will change my mind. No matter what happens, even if we must live the rest of our lives as social pariahs, I will never willingly leave your side. Without you my life was meaningless, I went through the motions but there was no joy and what happiness I did find paled in comparison to my time with you. With you I lived in the sun but without you I am condemned to a life in the shadows.”

Martha took her hands from under his and cupped his face. She could feel tears begin to sting her eyes.

“
Those are pretty words,” she said, wishing that she could believe him.

“
You are hurt and worried, I understand that but I do not think that you want me gone from your life any more than I want to be gone,” he said, willing her to believe in him. “You suggested that we go into business together, tying us together so that you couldn't easily cut me out of your life. Listen to that part of you now, please don't leave me out in the cold.”

Her tears spilled over and impulsively she threw her arms about his shoulders and clung to him.

“
I love you,” she said. “I don't seem to be able to stop.”

“
Nor I,” he said, holding her tightly. “It seems that for better or worse, we are in this together.”

Martha pulled away and wiped at her eyes.

“
I'm still angry with you,” she said.

“
I know, I'm angry with me too.”

She smiled slightly and took a deep, calming breath.

“
Would you like to share dinner with us this evening?”

“
I would.”

“
And do you have somewhere to stay?”

“
I booked a room at the Grosvenor but I haven't checked in yet. I was hoping that I might receive a better offer.”

Martha laughed at his confidence and shook her head.

“
So how are you with jigsaw puzzles?” she asked.

“
Uh, I confess I don't know.”

“
Then let's find out.”

Business in Marchwood received a boost in October when construction began on the railway, with the foremen, surveyors and navvies having nowhere else to spend their money than in the local town. Some skilled locals found employment building the railway while the shops, taverns and inns all experienced a boom in business. The wealth gradually trickled throughout the town with many businesses taking on additional staff.

Most of the land the railway purchased was woodland and brush but it was inevitable that they would also need some farmland as well. By repositioning the boundaries of the farms as well as giving some of the Hall's farmland over, the tenants didn't lose any acreage so although some grumbled, they didn't really have grounds to complain.

With the money he received from the sale of his land, Lucien repaid Martha for her loan to buy into the woollen mill as well as reimbursing her for half of the costs on their outerwear business.

The harvest that year had been good but the estate's tenants had a lot of arrears to make up from previous bad harvests. Most of the tenants had been there for decades, sometimes generations and as such they were as much a part of the estate as Lucien was so now that he could afford to, he wrote off half of their debt.

Beaumont & Aldercott also received a boost in business as the weather began to turn. Their functional and warm coats and jackets proved popular with both management and the workers who could afford them. They also made some garments from poorer quality wool which was within the navvie's price range, although they didn't use the Beaumont & Aldercott name on the garments since they wanted that to be associated with quality.

Lucien had been forced to miss Hope's birthday party since he had to go to London and finalise the probate of his father's will so when he received an invitation to share Christmas with Martha, Hope and Gus, he happily accepted.

His mother had returned home in November but she seemed very out of sorts. She was in a perpetual bad mood and Lucien began avoiding her, spending his evenings working or with the railway executives in town rather than sitting down to eat with his mother.

Lucien didn't mention the rumours that she had started nor the more salacious but false rumour that Martha's friend had spread. Any time he tried to speak about Beaumont & Aldercott, Martha or Hope, his mother walked out of the room. It upset Lucien but he couldn't say that he was particularly surprised by her behaviour.

Lucien suggested that since she seemed so deeply unhappy living with him, she move into the Manor House with her own servants. After two days of deliberation, she accepted, although she insisted on completely redecorating and refurbishing the whole house first. It was an unnecessary expense but Lucien indulged her because he knew that she would spend the rest of her days in that house. Still, he couldn't help telling her that it was Martha's designs that would be paying for her renovations.

Her expression became pinched for a moment, then seemingly deciding that she didn't want to take a moral stand and refuse money, even if 'that housemaid' had helped Lucien to earn it, her expression smoothed again as she dismissed that piece of information.

Supervising the redecoration did put her in a slightly better mood, until Lucien informed her that he would be spending Christmas in Penchester.

Lucien knew that his eldest sister wouldn't have her for Christmas because she didn't like their mother and had never invited her to stay with her family since she had married. His younger sister was more forgiving but Lucien had gathered from her letters that his mother had overstayed her welcome and blotted her copy book during her stay so he doubted that she would invite their mother to stay again any time soon.

He realised that his mother was a product of her upbringing, he realised that she largely just did what was expected of her and he knew that it was hard to break those moulds. He also realised that this was her first Christmas without her husband and that his passing had altered her whole world and place in society. As such (and with Martha's permission) he asked her if she would join him at Christmas and meet her future daughter-in-law and her grandchild.

Far from being touched by an invitation from a woman of whom she had only poured scorn, she seemed offended by the offer and outright refused.

Lucien hadn't expected anything more but he had been hopeful. Still, he no longer had to feel guilty about leaving her at Christmas and as far as he was concerned, she had burned her final bridge. She would receive all the financial aid that she required for the rest of her days but she had blown any chance of ever being included in her son's family. He informed her that he would be returning to Marchwood on the third of January and that he expected her to have moved into the Manor House by then, whether it was finished or not.

As Lucien stormed out of the room, he didn't see the pained look that crossed her face. She understood that she had finally alienated her last child; she knew that her words had hurt him and she realised that she had probably said goodbye to her last chance of happiness in her final days but she could see no other way.

To Lady Beaumont life was about duty and even if she had never known true happiness in her life, she was satisfied that she had done her duty as best she could.

It was a cold comfort however and as she spent Christmas Day alone, save for the company of her lady's maid, she wondered for just a moment, if perhaps she had hadn't been hasty in her decision. Then she remembered what was right and proper and forced herself not to think of such things again.

Lucien arrived in Penchester on Christmas Eve and was welcomed into a house unlike any he had been a part of before. It seemed that the Christmas spirit inhabited everyone here, for even the servants seemed much cheerier than usual and wished him a very merry Christmas as he entered.

The house had also been decorated beyond what his mother would call decent and almost every surface was adorned with some decoration or other. He was shown into the parlour where Martha and Hope were decorating the tree together; Martha the higher branches and Hope the lower ones.

“
Uncle Lucien!” Hope ran at him and he picked her up and spun her around as he usually did. She didn't stay for long today though and quickly squirmed out of his grasp. “Come help us decorate the tree,” she said grabbing his hand and towing him over to the tree.

“
Happy Christmas.” Martha kissed his cheek.

“
And to you,” he replied.

He helped Hope with the decorating, filling in the holes that her seven year old eye didn't see and when they were finished, he lifted her up so that she could place the Star of Bethlehem that she had made on the top of the tree.

Gus arrived home in the late afternoon and they shared some mulled wine and mince pies while Hope serenaded them with some Christmas carols. They joined in with the songs that they knew but Gus and Martha had much more experience than Lucien, who was often only able to join in on the chorus.