Hooked (28 page)

     Next, I went to my top drawer and pulled out my black strapless bra along with the matching underwear.  Perfect, I thought.  I slipped my dress on and it fit perfectly.  My skin seemed to shine.  The skirt on it wasn’t too short
,
but it showed my legs off.  I decided to go with my black strappy heels to finish the outfit off.  I added a simple pair of
diamond stud earrings and looked in the mirror.  I actually looked pretty.  Cara would be impressed with my hair and makeup.  Jess would be impressed with…my underwear and the fact that I actually thought about it and hopefully
,
Cash would like it all.

     I went down stairs to tell my parents bye.  I could hear them in the kitchen. 

     “
Hey,” I said feeling uncomfortable because I knew my mom was about to make a big deal of this.

     “Oh
,
Millie
, you look
incredible
!”  My mom gushed.

     “Thanks, I better go, Cash will be getting home soon.”

     “I don’t think so.  If I can’t get pictures of you and Cash, then you will have to take them with your brother.”

     I thought about arguing about it
,
but then decided to actually use my brain and appease my mom so this could hurry up and just be over.  I love my mom
,
but if she doesn’t get her pictures, she tends to twist off and I wasn’t in the mood to put up with that or my dad when I upset her.

 
   “Eli, come here!”  M
om yelled up stairs.

     “What?”  Eli yelled
back.

    
Why was my brother such an idiot?  H
e knew better that that and I would bet a
hundred dollar
bill that he thought dad was gone when he said that to mom.  One of my dad
’s
pet peeves was yelling what when he or my mom told us to come here.  Yep, there goes my dad heading for the stairs.

     “Eli
Diamond
!
  Get your butt down here now and see what your mother wants!”

     “James.”

     “No
,
Charlotte, he knows better than that.”

     I watched my parents intently.  They really were a great couple and they worked well together.  My dad always took care of our family and my mom took care of him.  They had a good balance.

     “Mom wants to take our picture before homecoming,” I told him as he came down the stairs.  He looked so handsome in his suit and really grown up.

     “Alright
,
but I’m about to leave.”

     “Who are you going with?”  Dad wanted to know.

   
“
Ben and Clay
.
  They are picking me up and we are going out to eat first.”

     “Alright
,
just make sure you are home by eleven.”

     “I will.”

     We stood patiently for mom to finish her pictures and then we both left.  When I got to Cash’s apartment
,
he wasn’t there yet
,
so I decided to go ahead and go up to his door to meet his mom.  I was actually pretty nervous
,
but Cash told me she was a great person
,
so that eased my mind a little bit.  I knocked on the door twice before I heard someone coming.  She opened the door and smiled. 

    
“Hey there, you must be Millie.”

     “Umm yes, it’s nice to meet you,” I said nervously.

     “Come on in honey, Cash should be here any minute.”

     When I walked in
,
the apartment looked exactly like it did the first time I had been here.  I did notice that his mom had a glass on the table
,
but I tried to keep my mind from thinking about it.  Normally, it wouldn’t have been a big deal to me seeing someone having a drink
,
but I knew it hurt Cash and I wasn’t comfortable with it.

     “Cash has told me so much about you
,
Millie.  You are even more beautiful than he described you.”  Her speech was a little slurred
,
but she didn’t seem to be a threat to me
,
so I started talking back to her.

      “Thank you
,
Ms.
--
u
mm
,
I’m sorry
,
I don’t know your name,” I said feeling like a moron. 

    
I mean
,
who doesn’t know their boyfriends moms name? 
Does she have the same last name as Cash?  I didn’t even know her first name. 
That’s it, I thought
,
Cash will be telling me everything about himself tonight.  This is really embarrassing.

     “It’s quite alright and it’s Mary.  I guess Cash hasn’t talked about me to you as much as he’s talked about you to me,” she said smiling
,
but I could tell it hurt her feelings.

     “I’m sorry, I guess we’ve been so caught up with everything else,” I said knowing this excuse was lame.  I was absolutely going to kill him for this.  At that moment
,
I realized that I knew very little about his past.  It wouldn’t change my view of him
,
but I was done

being
ignorant.

     “So
,
what made you and Cash pick Riverdale
,
Tennessee?”  I ask trying to make conversation.

     “I actually had family here at one time and I would visit them some when I was a young girl.
I’ve always loved it here
,
but my parents were city people I guess.”  I felt kind of guilty leading her into this conversation because I knew she had been drinking
,
but I wanted to know.

     “By the time I was twenty-two
,
I was pregnant with Cash and his father didn’t want me to keep him.  I really feel like that’s why
he left me.  He blames me for keeping my baby and he didn’t want the responsibility of having one.”

     My heart broke into a million pieces hearing her speak about Cash like this.  How could this one person be my whole world
,
my everything
,
and yet
,
here
she talks about my boyfriend’s dad, a grown man who didn’t want him. 
He meant nothing to him. 
I loved him with all my heart, he was everything in my little world and I couldn’t imagine not ever meeting him.  It must have shown in my eyes because she went on with the story
,
but changed the subject to why they had moved here.

     “Anyway, so after Cash’s dad
,
Mark left, Cash had to become the man of the house.  He was only fourteen at the time and it was hard on him.  He stopped caring about everything.  When he was younger
,
he played sports and was a very carefree and silly boy.  That’s about the time I started drinking.  I just, I don’t know, he’s had to deal with a lot in his life and I rely on him more than any parent should.  I think we just got int
o
this routine and it’s stayed like this.  He started staying out all night and hanging out with some guys that got into trouble.  I didn’t even know about it half the time because I would be so depressed or
too
drunk
to notice
because Mark had left that I wasn’t present in his life.  It’s still
hard for me to leave the house. 
He got arrested a couple of times and started skipping school.  When the school called me and I was ready to confront him about it
,
the police were knocking on our front door.  Cash is a good boy, he told them the truth.”

     “I’m sorry, I can’t remember exactly what happened,” I said lying and almost feeling bad about it.

      “Oh
,
honey, I’m sorry and I’m just rambling.  Those boys he was hanging out with sold some drugs to a young boy and he overdosed.  It killed him and Cash couldn’t stand for them to get away with it
,
so he told the police everything he knew and two of them went to jail.”

     Oh
my gosh
, I was stunned.  I was actually feeling about five or six emotions at the moment.  I didn’t even know what to say to her.  I couldn’t believe Cash had been through all of this.  It made me
want
to hug him and let him know that I would be here for him and tell him he would never have to face anything like this again alone.  I looked up at her and she finished telling me the rest.

     “So
,
after they went to jail, some of the other boys started threatening Cash and me.  I talked to the detective that questioned Cash and he told me the best thing I could do
for both of us
,
was move and I thought about this place and how simple it is here and decided this was the place.”

     “I’m glad you picked this place.  I care a lot about Cash and I want to see him happy,” I said still feeling a little sad.

     “Mil
l
ie, you have no idea how much you have changed him in the last couple of months.  I have never seen him so happy.  You have brought out something in him I never thought I would
see,
something I couldn’t give him.”

     “Well, that makes me happy because he has done those things for me too.”

     “He really loves you.  I can see it when he
talks about you and I can see it in his eyes.  A mother knows when her son has found a great love even if I’m not a great mom
,
I know him and I know when he’s happy.  He hasn’t smiled
t
his much since he was a child.”

     “He makes me feel safe and loved.  I always feel like he will take care of me and I can tell he’s kind of a loner
,
but he shows me a side of him that just seems so intimate because I know he is private.  It feels special because he doesn’t share it with anyone else.”  It was weird because I didn’t feel embarrassed admitting this to my boyfriend’s mom especially
, since this was the first time I’d ever met her.

     The sound of the door opening made us both turn to look and Cash was just coming in.  He looked right at me and I could see the indecision in his eyes.  I didn’t know if he was embarrassed or angry with me
,
but it was definitely one of those two.  He shut the door and walked over to me.

     “Hey,” I said still not knowing for sure how he was going to react.

     “Mom
,
I’m going to steal Millie for a minute
,
but when we get back I want you to take a picture of us with my phone, ok
ay
?”
  I looked at him surprised at what he said.  His mom just smiled.

     “What?
  You look beautiful and I want a picture of you looking like that on my phone so I can look at it whenever I want to,” he said leading me to his bedroom. 

    
I looked back at his mom to tell her I would be back and she mouthed, “I told you.” I smiled at her and followed him.

     When we got to his room
,
he started going to his drawers and pulling clothes from here and there.  He got all of his things together and turned to face me.  “Mil, what did my mom say to you?”  He was looking at me like he was trying to read my mind.

     “Nothing
,
we’ve just been talking about you and me
.”