Homewrecker (Into the Flames #1) (18 page)

Pushing up on my knees, I run my tongue up the length of his shaft. He moans, throwing his arm behind his head so he can watch me. “Damn that feels good, baby.”

Flexing my fingers into his hips, I take him into my mouth slowly. Humming around him, I swallow when the tip hits the back of my throat. He tenses immediately, and I feel him holding back. It hurts me that he doesn’t let go with me, as if he doesn’t feel comfortable with me. At the same time it pisses me off but I don’t know how to tell him.

Sliding my hands under his ass, I grip it hard, digging in my nails. Gunnar groans loudly, his hips jerk causing him to plunge deeper into my mouth, almost gagging me and he freezes. Pulling back, I look up at him. “Don’t hold back from me, Gunnar.”

Wrapping my fingers around the base when I take him back into my mouth, I stroke in rhythm with the movement of my head. I am determined to make him lose his mind, even if it only happens this once. I need to know that I am not crazy, that there is more passion and fire lying beneath the surface that he keeps hidden from me, and it’s not just something I’m imagining. My tongue flattens against his length as I go down, coming back up to flick over the head of his cock while rolling his balls in my hand. He writhes beneath me, arching his back and thrusting his hips for more. I love it. Watching him lose control, seeing what I do to him, it’s fucking sexy. I’m greedy because I want more, seeing him like this has me wanting to find his breaking point more than ever.

The noises he is making spur me on. Sucking him deeper, I slide my thumb over the seam in his balls, easing it over the skin separating them from his asshole. Gunnar rolls his hips up to meet my mouth and groans, losing himself in the feeling. Taking a deep breath I know if I don’t do it this now, I never will. I continue rubbing circles with my thumb and suck my pinky into my mouth alongside of his cock.

Popping my finger free I look up to see his head thrown back. I run my lips down his length and draw one of his balls into my mouth, making his hips buck again. Before he has a chance to settle back down against the mattress, I move my pinky against his ass and push gently. The muscles contract around my finger as it goes deeper and Gunnar’s hands fly to my hair, holding me in place.

“Fuck!” he moans loudly, his voice echoing through the room. For a second he loses himself, letting me explore. All of a sudden it’s like a bucket of cold water has been thrown on him, snapping him out of the moment completely. Letting go of my hair, he grabs my hands and pushes me away. “What the fuck, Kennedy!”

I back off, leaning back on my calves. The tone in his voice hurts more than him pushing me away. “What?” I ask like I don’t what his issue is.

Jumping off the bed, Gunnar grabs his pants and pulls them back on as fast as he can. “Shit. Since when the fuck do we cross that boundary?”

Standing up, I rest my hands on my hips. “Since when do we have boundaries, Gunnar?”

“I guess since you decided you wanted to put things in my ass.” Running his hands through his hair, he sighs in frustration. “Do we need to renew our vows and have that put in? For better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, and without sticking things in your husband’s ass.”

I laugh. I can’t help it. The thought of standing in front of everyone and saying those words is hilarious to me, but based on the look on his face Gunnar doesn’t feel the same way. It’s not that I want to find it funny, but right now I think if I don’t laugh at the issue, I’ll start crying.

“This is not at all how I saw this going,” I admit. “Tonight was supposed to be about how much we love each other, how we’ve made it ten years as a married couple. Now you’re freaking out about me trying something new.”

“We’ve made it ten years because we’re open with each other, Kennedy. Maybe if you had talked to me about wanting to try something new, I would have been able to tell you that I will never be up for having something in my ass. Maybe then, instead of fighting like idiots, I’d be making love to you right now.”

I shake my head and grab my robe from the chair next to the bed. After sliding my arms into the sleeves, I tie the sash and kick out of my heels. “Because if I had asked you to try something different you would have shot me down like you are now. I’d rather risk it and find something I never knew I could love, than say no and never know any different.”

“How would you like it if I just shoved something in your ass?” He leans back against the wall next to the bathroom door. He’s serious. How does he not realize that it’s something I would like?

Probably because you’ve never told him.

Walking past him into the bathroom, I grab the door and look back at him before letting how I feel tumble out of my mouth. “Who knows, maybe I’d fucking love it. But
someone
is too afraid I’ll fucking break! You’re right, Gunnar, you did make tonight
different
,” I say, spitting the words he spoke on the deck earlier in his face back at him. I know it’s harsh, but I’m hurt. “Although, I doubt I’ll ever forget this,
special
probably isn’t the word I’ll use to describe it.”

I slam the door and lock it, effectively cutting off his chance to say anything unless he wants to have a conversation through the wood. Dropping back, I slide down onto the floor and finally let myself cry. In ten years we’ve had our fair share of fights, but nothing has ever resulted in either one of us walking away before it was resolved. What I don’t understand is how someone that is supposed to know every single thing about me and not judge me, doesn’t. While a person that shouldn’t know anything about me in that sense, understands me without me even having to voice my needs.

This whole situation is not OK with me.

“So all I get is a text that says ‘I miss your face’. Is that code for ‘come here, I want to fuck you ‘til you scream’?” I hope that’s what it’s code for, because today that is exactly what I need.

Turning around, Dixon jogs up the hill from the edge of the river and tackles me against the side of my car after flicking his cigarette to the ground. His lips come down on mine in a hurry, but just as quickly they’re gone, leaving the taste of nicotine in their place. “I thought it was less obvious than ‘come let me spread you across the hood of my truck so I can eat your pussy like a starving man’. But that’s just me.” He shrugs nonchalantly, as if his words didn’t just light a fire through my body.

Wrapping my hand around the back of his neck, I pull him down against my lips. I take a bit of control and use my tongue to part his lips so I can taste him, making him groan. I need this right now because I feel like everything is spiraling and I can’t get a grip on it.

Last night was a complete disaster. When I finally made myself come out of the bathroom, Gunnar was nowhere to be found and I have no clue when he finally came home because he didn’t come to bed. Spending the night of your ten year anniversary alone in bed after crying your eyes out for a few hours, is not how the night should have gone. By the time I saw him asleep on the couch I was already running late for work so I didn’t even attempt to wake him up and smooth things out. It is going to take way more than a simple talk and apology to fix this clusterfuck. The silence that stretched between us continued through the day while I was at work. No calls, no texts, nothing.

Gripping my thighs, Dixon pulls me up around his waist and walks us to the back of his truck without removing his lips from mine. The tailgate is already dropped, so he slides me back on it. Letting my legs dangle, I fill my hands with his shirt and keep him pulled against me.

Working his fingers over my body, he shifts my shirt so he can get to bare skin, and sighs when they settle against me. “I wouldn’t mind getting messages like that.”

“I wouldn’t mind having my tongue buried in your pussy,” he growls and I push away from him.

Lying back, I rest my head so it’s propped up on the spare tire and watch his face change with every move I make. I pull my feet up, slipping my skirt up my thighs and spread my legs for him. Starting at my ankles, Dixon drags his fingers up my legs at an agonizingly slow pace. Being outside should have me on edge because anyone could see us, but this is the only place I know of that sits at the end of a long dirt road that will let us hear people coming. The only thing that has me on edge right now is Dixon dragging this out.

“Quit fucking with me, Dixon. I need more than that.”

He shakes his head, never stopping his slow movements. “I think your sassy fuckin’ mouth needs to be filled.”

“If it means you’ll give me more instead of tease me, I’ll gladly let you fill my mouth with your cock.”

Reaching up, he grabs my shirt and pulls me back up against him, locking eyes with me as he slides his fingers into me. My mouth drops open when his thumb grazes my clit but as soon as he gets into a rhythm the ringer designated for George on his phone goes off. He huffs and I know as much as neither one of us wants to stop, we have to. When he pulls his fingers from inside me it leaves me feeling empty and more worked up than I could’ve imagined.

After looking at the message on his phone he slides it back into his pocket and shakes his head. “Fuck, I forgot it’s George birthday and we’re takin’ him out.”

Sliding off the tailgate, I situate my skirt and cock my head to the side. Dropping my sunglasses into place I smirk up at him. “So much for having your cock in my mouth,” I sigh.

Dixon pulls his teeth between his lips and tips his face toward the sky. “Damn it, woman!” His lips crash to mine but just as quickly he pulls back. “You’re gonna be the fuckin’ death of me. I gotta go.”

I turn as he steps away and he brings his hand down against my ass. Hard. I yelp, stumbling back against my car and laugh. “Fucking tease,” I giggle.

“That ass is mine, Sunshine. All. Fuckin’. Mine.”

He jumps into his truck and winks at me before pulling away. Leaning back against my hood I try to settle down before I leave. I know if it had been anyone else wanting Dixon, he would have said no unless it was an emergency. Gunnar’s dad is not someone he would leave waiting for anything, not with all he’s done for Dixon. As much as I would have loved to have him stay and be with me, that relationship isn’t something I would ever want to get in the way of.

I grab my phone after settling behind the wheel. I don’t know why I’m even checking. I know I’m hoping Gunnar text me, but I know before I turn the screen on that he didn’t. He’s amazing, and I know he loves me, but I think I may have pushed too far last night. Figuring out how to get back to the way we were before I fucked up is going to be the hard part.

After driving into town and grabbing groceries, I head home. To busy my mind, I take my time putting them away and by the time I’m done, the fridge is cleaned out and the cupboards have been rearranged by size and brand of what is in them. It’s overkill, and I know I’ll probably go back through tomorrow and put everything back where it was so I can actually find what I am looking for.

I check the clock and figure since it’s so late that Gunnar will probably eat with his dad, so I fix myself a sandwich and get comfortable on the couch. As I eat, I flip through channels, never settling on one show because I’m not really paying attention to the screen. It’s nothing but background noise to fill the space in my head as I try not to think. I just wish it worked. Instead, the thoughts in my head scream loudly, commanding my attention and only confusing me further.

Sometime later Gunnar’s truck pulls into the driveway and his keys jingle outside the door. As much as I want to work things out and get everything settled between us so we can move on, I’m not sure how to do that. Last night something shifted between us, something that I can’t move back. I saw his face when I yelled at him before slamming the door. I watched as the realization washed over him that he wasn’t giving me everything I wanted, and I’m afraid if I try to fix it with everything still fresh in our minds that I’m only going to make it worse.

Instead of chancing it, I roll toward the back of the couch and pretend to sleep. Yes, I know it makes me an asshole, but I don’t want to fight right now. When the door closes and Gunnar notices that I look like I’m asleep, he goes about what he’s doing as quietly as possible. Behind my closed lids I can almost see what he’s doing. He’s a creature of habit. First, his keys get hung from the hook behind the door as he toes off his boots. Then his hat gets set on the divider wall the couch sits against and he makes his way into the kitchen for a beer. I hear the bottle cap drop into the box next to the trash can along with the others, and his footsteps on the hardwood when he makes his way back into the living room.

I even out my breathing because I can feel him studying me and I don’t want him to know I’m awake. Easing himself onto the couch by my feet, he lifts them slowly and drapes them over his lap. Grabbing the remote from the coffee table, he flips through channels like I was before he came home. I know that I’m supposed to be asleep, but the silence is still killing me.

Gunnar sighs, rubbing his thumb back and forth across my ankle. “What the hell do we do now?” he whispers.