Home is Where the Heart Is (Home #1) (20 page)

Maia and Matt were out celebrating their first year anniversary, which was practically a miracle for any thirteen-year-old. When Maia didn’t return home by curfew, their Dad didn’t hesitate to break his promise. Their Mother cried and begged, but he continued to imbibe, and quickly.

When Maia strolled in two hours after curfew, dancing on cloud nine, he had drunk way past the point of reason. The minute he locked eyes on Maia, his rage boiled over. Lunging forward, he had thrown her against a wall, screaming about responsibility, and other incoherent nonsense.

But before he could even raise his fist to her, Jace had stepped up and hit his own Father, striking back for the first time. As his Dad went to hit him again, his Mum stepped in the way and took the blow meant for him, her eye swelling almost instantly. That’s what triggered his rage, seeing his Mum and Sister in pain.
With adrenaline coursing through his veins, he struck his Father again and again, with such force until his Dad hit the floor, and did not get back up. He did not respond when their Mother screamed for one of them to call an ambulance. He didn’t stir as she pounded on his chest, begging him to wake up.

They were the worst moments of his life - standing there watching his unresponsive Father and hysterical Mother and Sister. Terrified that he’d killed his Dad, and disgusted with himself that he was the reason his Mother’s eyes were filled with so much fear.
He tried to shake off that feeling, knowing it was years ago now, and he should be living in the present, but he was trapped in his memories, powerless.

His Dad had lived, but they were never a family again after that. Multiple restraining orders were put out. A quickie divorce was set in place, and a few weeks after the divorce, when his Dad came back for his stuff, it was the last time Jace ever saw him.

His Mother had barely spoken to him since. She couldn’t even really stand to look at him.

He couldn’t bring himself to blame her as he had single handedly ruined their entire family. He was the reason his Mother was alone in life and, to make it worse, he wore the face of his Father as a constant reminder to her of what she had lost.

It was why he became so caught up with Kimberley and with parties and drugs. He needed those vices, the numb feeling that went with it to survive. The drug induced haze softened the hard edges of guilt, self-loathing and pain that went hand in hand with Maia’s pitied glances and his Mother’s haunted gaze.
“Jace!”

Maia’s sharp voice, and jab right into his chest, pulled him to the surface.

“What?” he gasped, disoriented.

“You’ve just been standing here like a zombie for like ten minutes. What the hell is going on?” she demanded, before noticing the look on his face. “Hey, are you OK?”

There was the pity again, the epic sadness that she would no doubt always associate with him. A pathetic screw up always, with no room to grow into anything else.

Maia slapped him firmly across the face.

“Get out of your head,” she instructed. “It’s much nicer out here.”

“Maia, do you ever blame me?”

“Stop it,” she said again firmly. “Get out of your head, leave the past in the past and stop reliving things you can’t change and could never have stopped.”

“OK.”

Maia clapped her hands together in delight. “Perfect! Oooh. Isabelle should have unpacked all her clothes by now - I wonder what she’ll wear tonight.”

She wiggled her eyebrows at him seductively which of course only make him feel nervous.

“Maia, you’re going to be on your best behavior tonight, right?” he asked seriously.

She winked back. “I got a plan big bro, just trust me.”

She skipped off, leaving Jace feeling more nervous than ever.

“You didn’t really answer my question,” he called after her. “Maia? Maia, what plan?”

If history had anything to do with it, whatever Maia had planned could only mean trouble for him, but then again when had trouble ever left him alone?

*

He sat outside on his faded blue couch as he watched the sun begin to set. The
neighbourhood was quiet and peaceful, the birds had long since given up their song and there was just a small breeze brushing against his skin.

Jace closed his eyes, opened his arms wide and reveled in the tranquility he rarely experienced.

He was tired, exhausted really, after taking a stroll down memory lane, and his body felt bruised and aching even though it had been years since he’d received any kind of beating.

He swiped at the sweat on his forehead impatiently and wondered why the hell he was remembering that stuff now? He hardly ever let himself go back to that place, for fear of not being able to come back from it.

Looking over at the adjoining balcony it hit him - Isabelle. Ever since she’d come along he’d felt himself changing, wanting to be a better man for her which had included giving up the usual chemically induced state he chose in order to avoid being overwhelmed by the raw feelings of fear and despair. Was it all worth this one girl he barely knew?

“Jace?”

He jumped high in the air, his heart racing and breathing uneven as he looked over to where his Mum was watching him.

“Jesus               Mum!” he gasped, clutching his chest.

She held her hands up. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to startle you. I did knock…twice.”

He nodded, moving more comfortably on the couch for a good look at his Mother.

Although everyone thought he and Maia were exactly the same, even without being twins, Jace and those closest to them knew Maia was their Mother all over and he was their Dad - at least in looks.
His Mum had dark brown hair instead of the near black he and Maia shared, and her eyes were brown like Maia’s, not the blue he inherited from their father, but everything else was just an aged version of his sister. Her hair was long and straight, her body waif like and petite, they shared the same full lips and wicked smile… not that his mother smiled much anymore.  And most noticeably, Maia and his Mum had the same shaped eyes framed with crazy long eye lashes.
He eyed her sharply, realising this was the first time in a long while they were both face to face and really appraising each other.

She looked tired, so incredibly tired, with dark circles under her eyes that didn’t look like they would fade anytime soon. There was a subtle trembling of her lips, and her shoulders slumped like she had the whole world crushing her and she’d given up pushing back.
All. His. Fault.

“You look tired,” she finally said to him, but stepped further away instead of closer to inspect him.

“Shopping with Maia will do that to you.”

She didn’t reply, just stared at him with eyes that had seen too much and a quivering mouth that would never say the words he knew she longed to throw at him.

“Can I help you with something?” he asked politely.

“I just wanted to see if you were home for dinner tonight,” she replied, looking away.

It hurt that she couldn’t stand to look at him, but this was the first time she’d actively sought him out in months, so he should probably be grateful for even getting that much.

“No. Ben’s having a barbecue tonight so we’re all set. But thanks.”

She nodded at him, but hovered slightly at the doorway, hesitating.

“Is there something else?” he asked kindly.

She reached out to touch him, but then seemed to think better of it, and drew her hand back in close to her.

“Just watch after your sister tonight and take care.”

Jace nodded and turned away. Of course she would be thinking about Maia’s safety and not his.

“I always do, you don’t have to ask,” he said with a flick of his hand, dismissing her.

She hesitated another moment before turning away. “I know.”

It was so quiet he was pretty sure he had dreamed it, but the thought that she might still care for him and know that he would do anything to protect his family was comforting.
Isabelle’s balcony doors opened and his head whipped to face her on instinct.

She appeared moments later, a sheepish smile on her face, as she walked to the end of the balcony to meet him.

“Hey, you,” he said, a huge smile lighting up his face.

“Hey, yourself.”

“Did you come for some air, or were you looking for me?”

She grinned back sheepishly. “Would you believe I wanted your opinion on my outfit?”

“Me? Not that I’m not flattered, but I would just assume you’d go to Maia or Tate before asking me.”

Isabelle winced slightly. “Maia is being super weird around me and Tate, so I couldn’t ask her, and I need an opinion from someone who doesn’t see me as a stupid little sister.”
Jace knew very well Tate didn’t see her as his little sister, but he wasn’t going to argue against being her first pick.

“Well, what do you need me to do?” he asked, lounging on the rail.

Isabelle took a slight step back and then motioned to her outfit like it was a prize to be won on a game show.

She was wearing short denim shorts that hugged her hips and showed off those legs of hers, with a loose button up, v neck shirt that had her neon pink bikini showing through. Her blonde hair was piled on top of her head in a messy bun with strands falling out around her face.
Mine.
He thought possessively, catching himself off guard.

“What was the question again?” he asked, trying to shake some sense back into himself.

Isabelle blushed, but her smile was bright. “Well, I’m going for ‘pretty girl that no one wants to punch.’’’

Jace ignored the stab of guilt, and just looked her over again, inch by inch. “I was going to say you look more like a dream I once had, but your version works too.”

Isabelle’s smile was radiant. “Great! Thank you. Is that what you’re wearing?”

He looked down at himself for the first time and noticed he hadn’t bothered to change out of the boxer briefs he’d thrown on after his shower. He felt suddenly exposed standing here, half naked in front of this vision of a girl, but being self-conscious wasn’t going to get him anywhere with her. So instead, he moved into a ridiculously provocative pose.

“You don’t think I’m wearing it well?”

She blushed a deep scarlet, but instead of looking away shyly like he expected her too, she made a show of looking him up and down like he had done to her.

“No, I think you wear it too well, which is only going to lose you friends at the party,” she said finally, with a flirty smile.

“Who needs them? As long as I have you as my friend, I’ll be fine.”

She rolled her eyes as she laughed. “You’re such a goof sometimes. Anyway, do you need a ride tonight?”

“You’re not drinking?”

“Yeah, right, like Maia would ever let that happen. No, my Dad offered to drive us – he has the big van, so we can all fit.”

“That’s nice of him,” he said, as he moved to sit back on his couch.

“Nice?” Isabelle scoffed. “He’s only doing it so he knows the address and can come back later for a drive by and pull me out if he feels it’s not going well.”
Must be nice to have a Dad care so much, he thought.

“I’m sorry,” she said sincerely.

Shit, had he said that out loud? Super smooth Jace, bring up your ‘daddy issues’ to the girl you like - nothing more romantic than that.

“Don’t worry about it,” he told her casually, eager to move past his little slip up. “And thanks for the lift. What time should I be ready?”

She raised one perfect eyebrow. “Aren’t you already?”

He sighed dramatically. “Alas, I fear you are right and this is too much hotness for everyone to handle. I will cover myself appropriately so I don’t burn everyone’s eyes with my beauty.”

She giggled quietly. “Must be such a hard cross to bear, being so inhumanely beautiful.”

He nodded gravely. “It is, but then again, you’d know all about that.”

With a wave and a wink he left her beaming on the balcony as he headed inside and closed his door and curtains behind him.

He let out a deep breath and flopped onto his bed.

He made a quick recovery on that one, but he needed to do better. He needed a plan that was guaranteed to succeed
and
he needed to stop making an idiot of himself if he didn’t want to lose her before she even had a chance to be his.

It killed him to admit it, but what he really needed was Maia.

He groaned to himself.

No good could ever come from this.

CHAPTER 7
ISABELLE
Isabelle had never been drunk before, had never really been interested in anything other than a few social drinks with friends to maintain the appearance of being normal. But after shots with Maia, and a fresh drink pressed into her palm every time her previous glass was empty, she was certainly feeling something.

“Game time!” Maia crowed gleefully, motioning everyone over to her.

Isabelle took a step forward but her feet were so unsteady she almost fell over.