Read Home for the Holidays Online
Authors: Steven R. Schirripa
Home for the Holidays (19 page)
“You what?”
“The sniper! We caught him! He was getting ready to shoot, and me and Tommy stopped him!”
Nicky's father skidded to a halt. He stared at the splashing man in the pool, and at his son, and at the Dobermans.
“Nice work, Nicholas,” he said. “Some sniper. You've actually trapped the contractor. Good morning, Dennis. I'm—I'm sorry. Swim over to the side here. I'll help you out. Nicky, put those dogs away.”
“It was supposed to be a surprise,” Nicky's mother said a half hour later. “Dennis was going to build you an art studio. For the backyard. For you to work in. It was
supposed
to be for your birthday.”
The family were in the breakfast room—Nicky's mom and dad, and Uncle Frankie, and Grandma Tutti, who was busy making coffee. Nicky and Tommy were still in their pajamas. Donna, wearing one of Nicky's mother's bathrobes, was holding a mug of tea. For the moment, everyone was staring at Nicky.
He hung his head.
“What were you thinking?” his father said. “Was this Tommy's idea?”
“No,” Nicky said. “It was all my idea. Because, see, I had already seen this guy prowling around the backyard. And then I saw him at the mall with Mom. And at the Snow Ball. And then he showed up here, and it was barely even light out, and he was carrying this gun bag, and he
set up a tripod, and he had this laser thing like he was taking aim at the
house.”
“And from that you imagined that he was a trained assassin?” his father said. “Sent here to
kill
me?”
“I know it sounds ridiculous,” Nicky said. “But after the whole thing with Patrick Arlen, and Peter Van Allen …”
“But the police had them—I mean him—already.”
“I didn't know what to think,” Nicky said.
“So you concocted a plan to have him attacked by the next-door neighbors' Dobermans?”
“Well, it wasn't much of a plan,” Nicky said. “But he was in the backyard! Practically in the middle of the night! With a laser gun!”
“It's called a level,” his father said. “It was part of Dennis' surveying equipment. For the art studio.”
“He was here to see the morning light, to see where it would be best for a painter,” his mother said. “A painter
must
have good northern exposure. It was going to be a beautiful studio! We were at Silver Art Supply looking at pictures of gazebos.”
Tommy leaned over to Nicky and whispered, “What's a gazebo?”
“Not now, Tommy,” Nicky said.
“Well, so much for that,” Nicky's father said. “You saw the look on his face. I don't imagine he'll be coming back to build the studio, anyway.”
“Aw, come on!” Uncle Frankie said. “It was an honest mistake. You want me to talk to him for you?”
“No!” Nicky's father and mother said at the same time.
“I'll make him an offer,” Nicky's father said. “That is, if you still think you want an art studio for your birthday.”
“Yes!” Nicky said. “I think it's a great birthday present.”
“You're lucky you're getting anything, you hoodlum,” Uncle Frankie said. “And you, Tommy! That was amazing with the GPS thing and all, but do you guys get into trouble every time you're together? I oughta—”
“Stop!” Grandma Tutti said. “Nicky was trying to protect his family. And Tommy was trying to help. He's a good boy! You should all stop picking on both of them!”
“I agree,” Frankie said.
“I disagree,” Nicky's father said. “But we'll drop it, for now.”
“Good!” Grandma Tutti said. “It's breakfast time, anyway. If Donna and Tommy and Nicky would give me some help, I'll make
zeppoli.”
“All right!” Nicky said, and jumped toward the kitchen.
“Wait!” Nicky's father said to him. “Say you're sorry and hug your mother.
Then
we can all have some breakfast.”
“And
zeppolil”
Nicky said. He threw himself into his mother's arms and then went to help Grandma Tutti make his favorite so the family could enjoy it together.
(Noodles and Beans)
aka Pasta Fazool
This is the most comforting of all Italian comfort foods—sort of like Italian chicken soup for the soul. It's easy to make and it's very satisfying. Some Italian families serve it by itself for a meal. Other families eat it for starters, then tuck into the real meal. Either way, it's a delicious, healthy bowl of soup. Here are two recipes. One is Grandma Tutú's. The other is Nicky's mom's. Not for nothing, but we prefer Grandma Tutti's
.
SERVES 4
½ pound dry cannellini beans or great northern beans or
1 8-ounce can cannellini beans, drained
½ teaspoon salt
1 bay leaf
1 tablespoon olive oil
½ pound beef stew meat, cut into ½-inch pieces
2 cloves garlic, peeled 1 teaspoon sweet basil
1 28-ounce can whole tomatoes
½ pound pasta—any kind, but macaroni is best
If you're using dry beans, put them in a soup pot, salt them and cover them with water the night before. Then add the
bay leaf, bring to a boil and simmer until the beans are soft, about one hour, always keeping the beans covered with water.
If you're using canned beans, continue.
Heat the olive oil in a deep, wide saucepan. Brown the meat over a medium flame for about five minutes. Add the cloves of garlic and the basil. Pour the tomatoes, with their juices, into a blender or a food processor. Add one cup of the cooked or canned beans. (Discard the bay leaf.) Pulse for 15 seconds. Add the tomato/bean mixture, and the beans you didn't put in the blender, to the saucepan.
Heat water in a pot until boiling. Add the macaroni and cook until it's soft—11 to 13 minutes. Then add all the noodles to the saucepan, along with enough of the macaroni water to make your soup the right consistency. Serve with grated Parmesan cheese and a nice Italian bread.
For Nicky D.'s mom's version, leave out the meat. It's vegetarian pasta fazool!
STEVEN R. SCHIRRIPA
is best known to television audiences as Bobby “Bacala” Baccalieri on the HBO hit series
The Sopranos.
He has also become a regular field correspondent for
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno
and appeared as host for Spike TV's
Casino Cinema
series. Steve is developing a half-hour situation comedy based on his best-selling book A
Goomba's Guide to Life
, coauthored, along with
The Goomba's Book of Love
and
The Goomba Diet
, with Charles Fleming. Steve lives with his wife and their two daughters in New York City and Las Vegas.
CHARLES FLEMING
is the coauthor of the 2003
New York Times
bestseller
Three Weeks in October: The Manhunt for the Serial Sniper.
He is the author of the 1998
Los Angeles Times
bestseller
High Concept: Don Simpson and the Hollywood Culture of Excess
and the novels
The Ivory Coast
and
After Ha
vana.
He is a veteran entertainment reporter and columnist for such publications as
Newsweek, Variety
, and
Vanity Fair
and an adjunct professor of journalism at the University of Southern California's Annenberg School for Communication. He lives with his wife and their two daughters in Los Angeles.
Published by Delacorte Press
an imprint of Random House Children's Books
a division of Random House, Inc.
New York
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the
product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to
actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
All rights reserved.
Delacorte Press and colophon are registered trademarks
of Random House, Inc.
Educators and librarians, for a variety of teaching tools,
visit us at
www.randomhouse.com/teachers
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Schirripa, Steven R.
Nicky Deuce: home for the holidays/Steven R. Schirripa and Charles
Fleming. — 1st ed.
p. cm.
Summary: Life in New Jersey seems boring to Nicky after spending the summer
in Brooklyn with his Italian-American family, so when his father invites
the relatives and Nicky's friend Tommy to their lavish home for a
New Year's Eve party, Nicky is sure that adventures will follow.
eISBN: 978-0-307-48877-0
1. Italian-Americans—Juvenile fiction. [1. Italian-Americans—Fiction.
2. Family life—New Jersey—Fiction. 3. Bullies—Fiction.
4. Crime—Fiction. 5. Wealth—Fiction. 6. New Jersey—Fiction.]
I. Fleming, Charles. II. Title.
PZ7.S34643Ne 2007
[Fic]—dc22
2006004584
v3.0