At supper, Stephie sat with Carrie and me. Her nose was red from too much blowing, but her eyes looked less swollen now. When the caterer came around to get our beverage orders, Stephie ordered a soda, then looked at her dad to see if he would disapprove. Uncle Jack didn’t say a word. His usual fun-loving smile seemed to have disappeared.
“Mom would never let me drink pop at meals,” Stephie whispered to us. “Things are going to be different without her.”
I nearly choked on my ice water. I couldn’t imagine being seven years old and motherless.
“Things changed at our house when Daddy left, but not that much,” Carrie spoke up. I wondered if she truly remembered.
After the lemon angel food cake was served for dessert, Grandpa signaled for everyone’s attention. “My granddaughter Holly will be celebrating her thirteenth birthday tomorrow. Please join me in singing the birthday song.”
He motioned for me to stand while they sang. Relatives I’d never met and friends of Uncle Jack’s sang “Happy Birthday to You” with amazing gusto. I glanced at Daddy. He winked at me. Mom, at the other end of the long table, beamed with pride. Some birthday party! I should have been eating ice cream with Jared right about now.
Suddenly I felt ashamed. Aunt Marla was gone, and all I could think about was missing a boy. What was wrong with me? What was I thinking?
Late that night, lying awake in Grandpa’s big house, I stared at the shadows dancing eerily on the ceiling. In a few minutes I’d be a teenager. “Dear Lord,” I prayed, “let this be my magical night.”
He knew what I meant.
The next morning I woke with a jolt. A small backbone pressed against me. It was Carrie’s. I lay still in the quiet. The table clock’s ticking soothed me. Today was Valentine’s Day.
My
day.
Uncle Jack and our cousins came over for breakfast. The boys wolfed down their pancakes, and Uncle Jack said, “Slow down, fellas.” Usually he would have made a joke of the boys gobbling down their food like so many turkeys, or something like that.
I remembered why we’d called them stair-step cousins. Sitting across from them was like looking at a descending scale. Stan first, then Phil, then Mark. Little Stephanie last.
Grandpa came downstairs carrying a box wrapped in bright pink-and-red paper. He planted a wet kiss on my cheek. “Happy birthday, Holly-Heart.”
Inside, a huge white teddy bear stared up at me. Grandma had cross-stitched a red heart on him, and a ten-dollar bill shaped like a bow tie was pinned under his chin.
“Thanks.” I hugged the bear first, then Grandpa and Grandma.
“What’s his name?” Stephie asked.
“I’ll have to think about it first. Let’s see what kind of personality he has.” I pulled out my chair for Grandpa. “How did you know what I wanted?”
“A little bird flew around and chirped it in this ear.” He pulled on his left ear.
“Oh, Grandpa,” Carrie said. “You’re just teasing.”
A few minutes later, the doorbell rang. Grandma hurried to the living room.
“Happy birthday, Holly.” It was Daddy—and his new wife.
“Come in,” I said shyly, inching toward them.
Daddy pulled an envelope out of his pocket. It was a gift certificate to a national chain of bookstores. “You can get that mystery book you wanted and many more,” he said with a grin.
“You should be able to buy an entire month’s worth,” Saundra said, smiling too broadly.
“Thanks, this is fabulous.” The words choked in my throat.
Carrie lost interest quickly and disappeared upstairs with the cousins. Mom hadn’t ventured into the living room. I could see her alone in the kitchen, clearing things away.
“We really can’t stay,” Daddy said. “We have to catch a plane, but we’ll be in touch.”
Uncle Jack held out his hand. “Good to see you again.”
But Daddy ignored my uncle’s hand, hugging him instead. “Take care of those kids, Jack,” he said, a twinge of longing in his voice.
Grandma kissed him and said to call when they arrived home.
“Take it easy, son,” Grandpa said. His eyes glistened.
“I’ll have my travel agent line up a flight for you soon,” Daddy said to me. I reached for him. He held me. And then, he was gone.
BEST FRIEND, WORST ENEMY
After Daddy and Saundra left, the rest of us headed off to Sunday school and church. All but Uncle Jack. He said he needed some time alone. I wished I could say something to make him feel better, but what could I say or do? His beloved wife had died, leaving him and the children alone. As we headed out the door, I hurried over to him and gave him a big hug. He hugged me back and kissed me on the forehead. “You’re sweet, Holly,” he whispered.
During church, we sat toward the back of the sanctuary, passing tissues up and down the row during worship. Why did such joyful songs now seem so terribly sad? I kept praying:
Dear God, be with Uncle Jack and my cousins. Please comfort them.
When church was over and we were back at my grandparents’ house, I retreated to the room where I’d slept. Silently, I closed the door. It was time to pour out my feelings on paper. Rummaging through my suitcase, I located my journal. In honor of my dear aunt Marla, I wrote her birthdate and death date in my diary. I stared at what I’d written till the tears came. She was too young to die—just two years older than Mom!
Our flight home was long and boring. When we arrived home,
Mom set the suitcases on the kitchen floor and promptly marched Carrie off to bed. I went up to my room and read my Bible until my eyes drooped. They felt like Bearie-O’s eyes had looked. I missed him
and
his owner, my former best friend. But I didn’t miss Andie’s disgusting attention-getting routines. No way.
I hugged my new birthday bear to me. It had been three whole days since I’d seen Jared—the longest ever. I couldn’t wait to see him again. Turning thirteen was perfect with him as my friend!
The next day at school I told everyone on the list about the
new
date for the party: Saturday, February 20. Everyone but Jared. I couldn’t find him. Not in the library. Not at his locker between classes.
At last, I saw him in the cafeteria at lunch…with Andie! She was getting some grated cheese for his spaghetti. I waited in the hot-lunch line, seething, as she slid into the seat next to him, shaking the cheese on his plate.
I felt like hanging her upside-down by her fat little toes.
Billy Hill slipped in line behind me. “Looks like Andie’s earning points with Jared,” he said. “The second you left for Pennsylvania, she moved in.”
“She did?” I was crushed.
“Andie didn’t waste any time—helping with his crutches, running errands…you name it.”
I stared at the two of them. They looked so cozy over there, talking and laughing. I set my tray down on the table, seething with anger.
Billy looked at me. “Hey, you okay?”
I blew my breath out hard. “Jared’s a two-timing jerk.”
“Funny. Andie doesn’t seem to mind,” Billy said.
I sat down with my spaghetti. “How could he do this to me?” I said between bites.
Danny and Alissa came into the cafeteria together. They sat at the end of our table. Before they ate, they bowed their heads for grace.
Billy glanced at them, frowned, then got up to leave. “See you around, Holly. Hang in there, okay?”
I moved over across from Danny and Alissa. They smiled and seemed glad for the company. “Ready for choir tour?” I asked them. I’d decided that even if I wasn’t going on the tour, I would be mature about it and not sulk.
Danny looked at Alissa. “
I’m
ready, except…well, Alissa can’t go.”
Alissa explained, “Yeah, things are changing for my family and me. We’re moving next week.”
“You are?” I said, startled to hear this news. “How come?”
“My dad’s being transferred to another state.” She and Danny looked sadly at each other.
While I talked with Danny and Alissa, I observed Andie talking and flirting with Jared. Worst of all, he was enjoying it. Once I even saw him reach over and ruffle her hair playfully. This was too much!
When I finished my dessert, I excused myself and headed to my locker. Inside, I was a wreck, upset at myself for trusting Jared.
And furious with Andie for moving in on him while I was away.
Andie came careening around the corner. “Look out!” she screeched, dropping a load of books on the floor in front of her locker.
“Watch where you throw things,” I said, sidestepping her hefty stack.
“These are Jared’s and mine
together.
” She huffed and puffed and opened her locker.
“Where’s Jared now?” I asked.
“Waiting for me on the steps,” she said, pointing down the hall.
“You just couldn’t stay away from him, could you?” I snapped.
“I’m gone for a couple of days, and—”
“We’re starting where we left off in the hospital, before
you
messed things up. Jared said so.”
“He’s insane,” I mumbled into my locker.
“I can’t believe what you wrote on his cast,” she said.
Either can I,
I thought. “I’ll write whatever I want,” I said, kicking my locker shut.
“When
I
signed his cast, Jared’s hand touched mine and he whispered, ‘Does this mean you’re my girlfriend?’ ” Her eyes glazed over. “Isn’t that romantic?”
I could’ve told her those were his exact words to
me.
Of course, she wouldn’t believe me, not for a single second. So I didn’t waste my breath.
Thinking back to my efforts to spend a little forbidden time with Jared at the ski lodge, I wanted to kick myself for sneaking out of the house, lying to Mom—not to mention getting grounded. And what for? To play checkers by the fire with a complete jerk? Was I such a lousy judge of guys? Turning away from Andie, I dashed down the hall. I couldn’t get away fast enough.
“Holly, you owe me money for Bearie-O,” she called after me. “The fur’s worn off his head. I could overlook it for a couple of tens.”
I quickened my pace, ignoring her. I wasn’t sure who I disliked more—Andie or Jared.
Tuesday night Mom drove me to my first youth group meeting at church. Now that I was thirteen my attendance there was like some sort of debut. Definitely a big deal. Pastor Rob introduced me to all the kids and everyone clapped. Danny and Alissa sat together, grinning at me. Andie arrived late, and she walked right over and squeezed into the seat next to Jared. I sat with some new kids on the other side of the room.