Holiday Homecoming (13 page)

Connor's face split into a grin. “Evidently, she's our sister's Christmas gift to me.”

Jared lifted his hands in surrender. “We had no part of this.” He motioned between his wife, Becca, and himself.

“It was going to be a surprise, but Connor let her inside before I could tell him.”

“No, I didn't let her in. I think she must have come in with one of the people dropping off food this morning.”

“So she chose you to be her family, like I was teaching her to.” Hope bubbled with excitement.

Like my heart is telling me to
, Natalie thought.

As if to acknowledge Hope, the kitten walked over to Connor and rubbed against his legs so he'd pick her up. She started purring the moment he did, garnering a lifted eyebrow from his brother.

“We Donnelly brothers do have a way with the ladies,” Jared said, wrapping his arm around Becca's waist. He laughed as he eyed Connor and the cat. “Just different ladies.”

“We need to finish the appetizers in the kitchen,” Natalie reminded Connor, ignoring the frown that spread across Jared's face as he looked from Connor to her. If she got Connor back in the kitchen, she could tell him, even with his family in the other room. Tell him before she lost her nerve and came up with reasons not to. And if things didn't go as she hoped, she could put on her professional face, mingle and chat with the open house guests when they started arriving and, after a reasonable amount of time, escape home.

A rap sounded on the front door.

“Go ahead and get it,” Becca said. “I'll help Natalie in the kitchen.”

“Okay, thanks.” Connor bounded to the door.

Natalie's heart sank at his eager response to answer the door rather than help her in the kitchen. She was being juvenile. He was only doing his job, not rejecting her. “I can handle things in the kitchen,” she said. She didn't want to be rude, but Becca had been her high school history teacher and she was a little uncomfortable socializing with her. Besides, she needed to be alone to regroup. “Go ahead and enjoy yourself,” she added and waved at the food-laden table in the dining room as if she was Connor's hostess.

For the rest of the afternoon she and Connor worked side-by-side, welcoming and talking with the open house guests and replenishing the refreshment table. More than once, she'd thought,
So this is how it would feel if I was the pastor's wife
. And even more often, she wished the crowd would thin and the open house would be over, so she could have few minutes of time alone with Connor to talk before she lost her nerve.

* * *

Connor listened with half an ear to Tom Hill explaining what he had to do to the church van to get it to pass the state vehicle inspection. The real focus of his attention was on Natalie, as it had been all afternoon. She puzzled him. In some ways, she'd seemed more relaxed, helping him as if that was what she was meant to do and mixing with the guests. But she also had an aura of tension around her.

“If the work needs to be done, we'll have to have it done,” he said at the appropriate time in the conversation. “We use the van a lot. Check with Ted Hazard about the payment. He's the church treasurer.”

“I'm not worried about being paid,” Tom said. “Just letting you know what needs to be done. I'll go ahead with the work and have the van back in commission tomorrow or Tuesday.”

“By Tuesday would be great. We have dress rehearsal for the pageant and offered transportation to anyone who needed it. I have some standby car-pool offers, but the van would be more convenient.”

“No problem,” Tom said.

Through the archway, Connor caught sight of Natalie's mouth drawing into a grim line. She was in a small group on the other side of the living room with Jared, Josh and Claire. “Excuse me,” he said. “There's someone I need to catch in the other room.” That someone being Jared. He hadn't gotten any sign from his brother that his opinion of Natalie had changed since their conversation when she'd first returned. And Josh had been all about Connor not getting serious with her, or any woman from what he could tell from Josh.

“I disagree,” Natalie responded to something Josh said as Connor approached.

He clenched his fists and closed the remaining distance between him and Natalie. The guys had better back off. As casually as he could, he slipped his arm around Natalie and rested his hand at her waist, deriving satisfaction from both her accepting his action and the dark look Jared gave him.

“I think you can present the news in a positive and objective way,” she said.

He relaxed. They were talking work.

“At the last station I worked for, I was part of a segment called ‘Good News Today' that reported on uplifting, positive local news.”

Connor shifted his weight, realizing how little he knew about Natalie's television work.

“Right,” Josh said, “but those were feel-good stories you went in search of. We're talking the real everyday news.”

Leave it to Josh to find a down spin.

When Jared nodded in agreement, Connor's brain went into fast retrieval mode to come up with something solid to refute his brothers and support Natalie.

She was faster. “The world is an ugly place sometimes, and some of that ugly has to be reported. But I don't see any reason that ugliness can't be balanced with positive, inspiring stories and commentary from all sides of the opinion spectrum. One thing I learned back in your wife's senior public affairs class, Jared, is that sometimes you have to listen to all sides, the truth and the lies, to get the real facts.”

He puffed with pride for Natalie. The woman was good.

She smiled up at him. He hadn't said that out loud, had he? No, his brothers wouldn't have let that get by without a comment.

“Doesn't God encourage us to spread the good news, to help drive out the evil?” she asked.

“What's your professional take on that, little brother?” Jared asked.

Connor pressed his lips together as he thought. Was she stretching things? “I think Natalie has a valid point.”

Both Jared and Josh smirked as if they'd expected his response and were dismissing his statement.

That didn't stop him. “We all have our callings. Broadcasting inspirational, positive, what you called feel-good stories, Josh, can show the Lord's hand in things. ‘Spread the good news,' as Natalie said. Objective reporting of other news shows the evil that exists in our world. Evil we should combat every day.” He knew he was sermonizing, but he didn't care. That was part of what he was called to do. And, if it supported Natalie, all the better.

“I see what you mean,” Claire said, offering her first contribution to the conversation since he'd joined them. He wasn't sure if she meant him or Natalie or both of them. But he appreciated her support.

Natalie nodded, excitement shining in her eyes that he'd understood her. He wanted to hug her to his side, but his arm around her was as much of a public show as he dared make, especially since he wasn't sure exactly where he and Natalie stood.

“Thank you, Pastor Connor,” Josh said.

Connor almost expected mock applause from him. “Jared asked for my professional opinion.”

Jared looked pensive. “I need to think that over.”

Connor preened at his oldest brother's marginal concession. If only he could get as much of one from him about Natalie. Not that what Jared or anyone else thought of her would make him love her any less. But if he had his way, Natalie was going to be family.

“Mom's waving to me,” Claire said. “They're probably ready to leave.” She left the group, followed by Josh.

Connor's stomach clenched. Josh wasn't putting the moves on Natalie's sister, was he? The thought disturbed him more than it should. Claire and Josh were both adults.

Natalie touched his arm. “Thanks for helping me with your brothers.”

“You were doing okay on your own, but that's what friends are for.”

“Is that what we are? Friends?”

Natalie's inflection made her question sound like being friends wasn't a good thing. Before he could pursue that thought, several people descended on Natalie and him to thank him for opening up the parsonage to the public.

“I'm glad you could come,” he said to one couple. “I hope to see you at the ecumenical Christmas pageant,” he told a family who had recently moved to the Paradox Lake area and were church shopping. “It's at seven o'clock Saturday evening at the Sonrise Camp auditorium.” Soon, the living room was empty except for Tom and Karen Hill...and Josh. He glanced toward the dining room, looking for Natalie. She couldn't—
wouldn't
—have slipped out while he was saying goodbye to everyone. He took a half step toward the other room.

“That went well, didn't it?” Karen asked from behind him.

For a split second, he toyed with the idea of pretending he hadn't heard her so he could go and see if Natalie was in the kitchen. But he shut out the temptation, rising above his adolescent-like need for reassurance that Nat hadn't left. She was either still here or she wasn't. Taking a minute to talk with Karen and Tom wouldn't change that either way.

He pasted a smile on his face. “Not bad at all.”

“See, I told you it would be easy. And Natalie was a big help. You two make a good team.”

Connor shoved his fingers in the front pockets of his jeans. He thought so, too, but he didn't want Karen, his parishioners, thinking there was any more to his and Natalie's relationship than her helping out today—at least not until he knew for sure where they stood.

“Do you want us to stay and help you guys clean up?” Karen asked.

“No, we've got it,” Josh answered before Connor had a chance.

“Hey, Connor,” Claire called from the dining room as she walked through it to join them. “Natalie needs your help in the kitchen.”

So
,
Claire's still here
and
,
better
,
so is Nat
. Connor controlled the urge to break into a grin.

“Looks like you're all set,” Karen said with a twinkle in her eye. “Go.” She waved toward the kitchen. “We'll let ourselves out.”

Connor glanced from Josh to Claire. As difficult as it was, he held his pace to a saunter until he was out of their sight.

Natalie was standing in the kitchen, leaning against the counter, with an atypical look of uncertainty on her face.

His heart skipped two beats. From the tone of Claire's voice, he was expecting something good. Natalie's expression didn't exactly confirm that. “What's up?”

“I have to tell you something.”

Her words weren't any more reassuring than her expression.

“I want to be more than friends.”

His heart picked up the two missed beats and then some.

She scuffed her boot on the vinyl floor, releasing a huff of disgust. “Let me try again. That sounded so juvenile.”

“No need.” He held his arms out to her, and Natalie stepped into them. “For me,” he whispered into her hair, “we've always been more than friends.”

“Even when I treated you so badly in college?”

“Even then. But we were young and didn't know what we wanted.”

She nodded against his shoulder.

Now, with her words, he had exactly what he wanted. What he'd always wanted. A future with Natalie. He hugged her tight. No power on earth could make him let her slip away again.

Chapter Twelve

“T
omorrow at nine. I'll be there.” Natalie could barely contain her excitement as she hung up then pressed the internet icon on her phone to find a flight to Chicago. She tapped her fingernail on the screen while she waited and prayed out loud, “Thank You, Lord, for giving me this opportunity, and that the research farm let Claire take this week off in lieu of her annual bonus, so she can help Mom.” A popular travel site loaded.
Wait until I tell Connor
.

Her excitement dropped a notch as she thought about the open house yesterday and dress rehearsal for the pageant tonight. She brushed it off. The other day, Connor had sounded serious about considering the job offer he had from his friend in the Chicago area. And Andie could substitute for her tonight.

Yes
. Her search showed an early evening flight from Burlington, Vermont, so she wouldn't need to have someone drive her all of the way to Albany. And it wasn't too outrageously expensive. Natalie calculated in her head whether the long-overdue security deposit refund she received last week from her last apartment's management company would cover the cost. It was close. She punched in her debit card number and held her breath. The charge went through. She lifted a finger to call Connor and stopped. This was information better shared in person.

She made a quick explanation to her mother that she needed to run over to the church to talk with Connor, without saying why, and asked Claire if she could borrow her car. It was worth putting up with the knowing smiles she received from both of them. She wanted Connor to be the first to know. She flew out of the house and had to keep lifting her foot off the gas pedal to stay within the speed limit on the drive to the church. When she stopped the car in the parking lot, she waited a moment and breathed in and out a couple of times to contain her excitement. Then she hurried into the church and down the hall to Connor's office. The door was shut, and she could hear the hum of voices. She shook her hands and paced the hall until she heard the turn of the doorknob.

“Thanks for bringing the van back,” Connor said. “Do you need a lift home?”

“No.” Tom Hill's response came through the crack of the door. “Jack said he'd swing by on his way back from the hardware store in Schroon Lake. He should be here by now.”

Natalie hadn't noticed anyone in the parking lot, but she'd been in such a rush to see Connor that she could have missed Jack's truck sitting right in front of her.

“If he's not there, come back in,” Connor said. “I'm here for another hour and don't have any appointments scheduled.”

Tom pushed the door open and smiled hello when he saw Natalie. “Looks like you have an unscheduled one, though.”

“Hi, Tom,” she said. “Like Connor said, if Jack isn't here, come back in. You won't be interrupting. I just have some news I wanted to share.” She hoped her words sounded more gracious than she felt.

Tom grabbed his gloves from his coat pocket and pulled them on. “And Connor, you'll let us know about—” He stopped. “That other matter we discussed.”

“I sure will,” Connor said.

They watched Tom walk down the hall and out the front door.

“I thought he'd never leave,” Connor said a minute later, when Tom didn't return, echoing her thoughts. He motioned her into his office. “After you.”

She walked past him.

He followed and reached to close the door. “Uh, maybe I'd better leave the door open.”

“Don't want to give your parishioners the wrong idea,” she teased.

“You are definitely
not
the wrong idea.”

Her heart pounded, either from the way his words warmed her or a fear that he'd change his mind once she told him her news. She didn't want him to think she was choosing her career over him again. Maybe coming over had been a bad idea. Seeing Connor here in his office with Tom brought back the same doubt she'd had earlier when she'd thought about Connor and her at the open house. The last thing she wanted to see was that look of hurt in Connor's eyes that was seared in her mind from the night she'd turned down his marriage proposal.

“So, what's up?” He pulled the chair by his desk out for her. “Something about the pageant, or is this visit strictly social?”

The way he lifted his eyebrows with his last question evoked a nervous laugh from Natalie. “Actually, it's about dress rehearsal tonight, and I have some news.”

Connor sat at his desk and leaned forward on his crossed arms, giving her his total attention.

She swallowed the lump in her throat. “I won't be able to make practice.”

His eyes darkened.

Not the best start to sharing her good news.

“Is it your mother?” Concern laced his voice.

“No, Mom's good. Let me start over. I got a call this morning from the station manager about the job my agent told me about. The manager was the news director when I was there before. Kirk and the former station manager are gone.” She searched his face for any change in his expression before continuing but didn't see even a flicker in his eyes. “The manager invited me to audition in a reality-TV-like competition for a spot as their new ‘good news' reporter, like I did at my last station.”

“And like we were talking about at the open house.”

She shifted in her chair at his mention of the open house. “Right.”

“That's great,” he said, sounding genuinely happy for her.

Maybe he
was
seriously considering the job offer he had in the Chicago area, and she was worrying unnecessarily.

“But what does that have to do with the pageant?” he asked.

She drew a deep breath. “The station is holding the two-day audition blitz this week. The station management thinks the holiday season is the perfect time to introduce this new segment. My agent got me in just under the wire, probably only because the director knows me.” Her words tumbled out at a staccato rate. “I booked a flight for early this evening.”

“Oh.” He straightened in his chair.

“Practice should be fine. Andie can fill in for me like Jared did for you last practice. The choir is more than ready.”

He nodded. “When will you be back?”

“Late Friday, in plenty of time for the pageant Saturday evening.”

The look of relief that passed over Connor's face flowed into her. She pushed back in her seat from the edge of the chair, where she'd worked herself to as she'd told Connor her plans.

“I'll pick you up from the airport.”

“Making sure I don't bail on you?”

“I do like having you where I can keep an eye on you.” He grinned.

Natalie breathed out slowly. His comic innuendo told her he was taking all of this okay. “I'm flying into Burlington, so you won't have to drive so far. Dad's taking me this evening.”

Connor's cell phone dinged. He shut it down. “A calendar reminder. I'd invite you to catch some lunch with me, except I have a hospital visit in Saranac Lake and just enough time to get there.”

“I'll take a rain check,” she said. “Work is work.”

His mouth curved down slightly, making her belatedly realize that Connor probably had many aspects of his job that he didn't see as work. One of the many things that made him a good small-town pastor. She corrected herself. A good pastor period.

Natalie pushed the chair back from the desk and stood. She knew she shouldn't ask about church business, but she couldn't stop herself. Getting the right answer would help dispel the niggling doubt about Connor and her interview that his frown had brought back. “Don't answer this if you can't.”

He stood and wrinkled his forehead.

“Was the other matter Tom mentioned your contract renewal?” She shifted her weight from one foot to the other as she waited for Connor's answer.

“No. In July, the church will be celebrating the two hundredth anniversary of the original church formed here in the old Hazardtown hamlet that Hazardtown Community Church evolved from. The administrative council would like to publish a church history for the celebration. Tom thinks that because I write sermons, I'm a good candidate to write the history.”

The way Connor leaned against the desk toward her gave him away. “You want to write it,” she said.

“Yeah.” He grinned and pushed away from the desk. “Although Becca might be a better choice.” He grabbed his coat from the coat tree. “Not that I want to get rid of you, but I have to leave. Want to come?”

She wavered. “I can't. I have to get ready for tomorrow.”

He walked her to her car and gave her a quick peck. “Break a leg tomorrow, or whatever it is I'm supposed to say.”

“Thanks. I'll call you.”

“You'd better.”

Natalie watched him walk to his car, wishing she could ride along with him for his hospital visit. She checked the car clock. There wouldn't be enough time. On her drive home, she tried to rekindle her initial excitement about the interview in Chicago. But all she could think about was the church history Connor wanted to write for the celebration in July, when she might be back working in Chicago.

* * *

Natalie hadn't called last night when she'd arrived in Chicago. He checked his cell phone again. Nor had she called this morning. He tossed the phone in his gym bag, shoved the bag in the locker and gave the combination lock a twirl. He'd thought about calling her but had refrained because she'd said she'd call. He didn't want to make her feel pressured, possibly interfere with her audition. Nor did he want to let on how needy he was to hear her voice. He headed directly to a weight bench. Some serious bench presses might be just what he needed to take the edge off waiting to hear from her.

He threw on twenty more pounds than he usually lifted. Natalie had been right, the pageant dress rehearsal last night had gone okay with Andie filling in for her. He pressed up and groaned. But that didn't mean that he wasn't nervous about her being gone. He brought the weights down. He knew he was prejudiced, but Andie wouldn't be as good at directing the choir. Nor was she as musically talented as Natalie, and not only in his opinion. If Natalie didn't return in time for the pageant, he feared it could flop, which might affect the administrative council's vote on his contract renewal. And he didn't want to let down his fellow pastors. But he couldn't build his life on fears—fears of the council not renewing his contract, fears that if he took his friend's offer, he'd be accepting it for the wrong reasons, fears that Natalie would choose her work over him again. They each needed to do whatever God wanted them to do. Connor acknowledged to himself that he had to focus on what His direction was, not what Connor wanted it to be. With that decision, he pressed the weights up hard and fast.

“Hey, bro, you should have told me yesterday you were going to work out this morning. We could have come together.”

Connor let the weights slip down into the uprights with a bang. He sat up on the bench to face Josh. “I figured you'd be at work.”

“I had to take a ‘use it or lose it' vacation day. The boss lady doesn't like it if you don't take at least a certain number of your earned vacation days, and I haven't. I'm taking Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve, too.” He dropped his gym bag on the bench beside Connor. “You'd think Anne would appreciate that I'd rather be at work than take vacation.”

“News flash, Josh. There are more important things in life besides work.” Connor's words resonated in his head. That's what he needed to pray about, how to balance all of the important things in his life.

“Such as women? You and Natalie were looking pretty tight at the open house.”

For a split second, Connor considered confiding in his brother, but Josh's leering grin put a stop to that thought. He couldn't take his brother making fun of his feelings for Natalie. “Go change and I'll run a couple of laps with you.”

“So I'm right.”

Josh's look was thoughtful, rather than smug, and it almost made Connor wish he had opened up to him.

When Connor got back to Paradox Lake, he decided to check in with the church secretary to see how the pageant programs were coming before going home to work on his Christmas sermon. As soon as he pulled open the front door, he could hear the chatter of the day-care-center preschoolers in the church hall and Karen Hill's voice.

“Everyone find a place at the table. We're going to make a Christmas surprise for our mommies and daddies.”

He thought about Hope's Christmas surprise for him. Ginger was settling in the house nicely, so nicely she hadn't shown a bit of interest in going back outside. They'd come to a sort of truce about climbing the Christmas tree. She only climbed it when he wasn't in the room to catch her. He'd made an appointment for the vet to check her out late this afternoon when Hope would be home from school, so she could come with him. Maybe he should ask the vet how well the cat would adapt to moving to Chicago. He'd heard cats didn't relocate well. He walked into the small office that adjoined his.

“Pastor Connor.” Mary Hazard, the church secretary, scooped several pages off the printer and turned them print side down on the desk. “I didn't know you'd be in your office today.”

Obviously
. What could she be printing that she didn't want him to see?

“You usually don't have office hours on Wednesdays,” she stammered.

“I was out and decided to stop in to see if you had the pageant program done. Is that it?” He pointed at the pages she'd taken from the printer.

“No, the program's right here.” Mary picked up a sheet from the other side of the desk and moved so she was blocking his view of the pages she'd taken from the printer.

He took the offered paper and reviewed it, uncomfortable with Mary's secretive behavior. “This looks great.”