Holding On (11 page)

She forced a small smile. “I really do.”

“I know,” he agreed.
“Jake and I had a long talk this morning,” Luke admitted. “Did he tell you that?”

She shook her head. “We haven’t really had a chance to talk today.” They hadn’t. She’d arrived at the park with her side of the wedding party, he with his. Other than a few brief moments when he’d told her she was the most amazingly beautiful thing he’d ever seen, they hadn’t had time for
conversation. “Is everything okay? You have no idea how much I hate the thought of coming between the two of you. You used to be so close.”

He nodded. “Yeah, we were.”

“And now?” Quinn asked. She’d realized that she wasn’t the only one that Luke had distanced himself from. “Are things between the two of you going to be okay?”

“They
will be,” he sighed. “I’ve been avoiding him for a long time. But this morning we just got everything out in the open. A part of me wants to hate him but the truth is…I can’t. I blamed him for a long time for stealing you away from me. But like he pointed out, you were never mine. Not in the same way that you’re his. He gave me every opportunity to tell you how I felt first and I just blew him off. And he was right…He said that I’d still probably be finding excuses and reasons to keep my distance. And I want to say that’s not true but who knows…I got so used to loving you from a distance that he’s probably right.

“And that means that instead of marrying Jake today, you might be marrying…or at least dating some idiot right now.”

“Hey!” Quinn said. “I don’t date idiots.”

“You’ve dated a lot of idiots,” Luke argued.

Quinn didn’t think so but smiled anyway. Luke had never liked her boyfriends. Now she thought she knew why. And it had nothing to do with them being idiots. Not really.

“So it could be worse,” he admitted
with a forced smirk. “You could be marrying some idiot today instead of my brother. And even though I’ve spent a really long time being pissed at him…he really is a great guy. And I know that you make each other happy. So I’m happy for you.” He paused letting his words sink in. “I really am Quinn. I’m happy for both of you.”

“Thank you,” she said quietly.
“But where does that leave us? You and me? Are you just going to disappear from my life again?”

He forced a smile. “Yeah, I think I am. For a while at least. Talking to Jake today, it helped. We worked through a lot of things that both of us have been letting build up. Well,” he decided, “mostly me. But it
affected both of us. I think after today, knowing you’re married and there’s no going back, that’ll help too. I don’t want to lose your friendship. It still means everything to me. But I think I’m going to need some time.”

She nodded slightly, disappointed by his answer but not surprised.
“Okay. I get it. I don’t like it but I understand. I just want you to be happy Luke. Really, that’s all I want for you, too.”

“So are we okay?”
he asked.

“Mhhhmm,” Quinn said. She didn’t trust
her voice, which she was sure would be shaky.

“Good. So this is what I want you to do,” he said. “I want you to put me out of your head. I can see that you’re worried about me. But no way do I want to ruin your wedding day. So just go find Jake. Do whatever it is a girl needs to do to make this a day you’ll remember forever. Okay?”

She nodded, too choked up to say anything
. She stepped close to Luke and rested her head on his chest and her arms around his waist. She felt his arms tighten around her. And then his lips brushed across her hairline.

“I
do love you Luke. You know that right?” she said. “I mean…”

“I know what you mean. And I love you
, too. I always will,” he told her. Then his arms loosened. “You better be careful. You’re going to ruin all that pretty make-up.”

“Why would she ruin her make-up?”

The voice startled them both as they turned around to face Jake.

“You’re not making my girl cry, are you?”
he asked.

His voice was light but Quinn knew enough to realize he was working to keep it that way.
She was sure Luke knew it, too. Jake was watching them curiously but he didn’t seem upset or even surprised. She wondered how much of the conversation he’d heard. She kind of hoped he’d heard all of it. He might be relieved to know that she and Luke finally had closure on…Well, whatever it was they had.

Or didn’t have.

“Nah,” Luke said. “She’s just bummed because she realized what a loser you are. And now she’s stuck with you. I told her she still had time to make a run for it.”

Jake smiled good-naturedly at his brother. “Yeah. I bet that’s it.” Then he turned to Quinn. “Lily is demanding that you get yourself into hiding.”

“Okay, I’ll go find her.” Quinn tried to give Luke a smile. She was pretty sure she failed. The smile he gave her in return was a definite failure.

“You’re a lucky guy,” Quinn heard Luke tell Jake as she made her
way down the path again.

“Yeah,” Jake said
. “I know.”

8

The wedding ceremony went off flawlessly. The weather remained perfect. The breeze remained calm
. Gentle waves lapped at the shore throughout the ceremony. Quinn made it down the grassy aisle without stumbling, as she was afraid she would do. She managed to put Luke far enough out of her head so that she could concentrate on the ceremony. He was still there, on the edge of her mind. But as he requested, she concentrated on enjoying every moment of her day.

After the ceremony
, the crowd moved across town to the country club. The dinner was over and the dance had begun when Jake pulled Quinn out onto the dance floor. A slow song was playing and while guests were casting happy glances at the couple, the two of them were in their own little world.

“
Have I told you how beautiful you look?” Jake whispered in her ear. The other couples on the floor had scooted away, just a bit. They were trying to make room for Quinn and her full skirt.

“No,” Quinn said in a teasing tone. “I don’t think so.” This was, of course, untrue. He’d told her nearly half a dozen times already.

Still, she was having a hard time putting together in her own mind why both brothers would want her. She was decent enough looking but she didn’t consider herself a knockout. She certainly didn’t think she was worth them fighting over. But how to convince them of that? She didn’t know.

“Well,” Jake said, taking her teasing in stride, “then I should probably tell you. You are beautiful. More beautiful than I’ve ever seen you. And that is saying a whole lot.”
And while his tone was teasing, he meant every word. Jemma had been right in her assessment. Quinn looked like a princess.

H
e was going to do his damndest to make every day part of her happy fairy tale.

“I think I love you more today than I ever have,” Quinn said. She wasn’t necessarily teasing. “And that is saying a whole lot, too.”

He leaned in and kissed her. This brought some mild jeering from those who noticed. He ignored them, only paying attention to Quinn.

“Did you and Luke have a good talk?” he asked.
He kept his voice low and his mouth near her ear.

“Yes
, I guess. I’m not sure good is exactly the word I’d use. But we talked. You knew that.” He nodded. “How much did you hear?” she asked.

“I’m not sure,” Jake honestly said. “Enough. I didn’t mea
n to listen in but…”

Quinn gave him a weak smile. “It’s okay. It’s not like we were hiding anything.”

“I know,” Jake said as he tucked an errant spiraling curl behind her ear. “I think it was a conversation that needed to take place. I’m glad it did.”

“Me too,” Quinn said. Though she honestly wasn’t sure what good it did.

“Your sister looks happy,” Jake noted.

Quinn looked over her shoulder. Carly was dancing with Jesse. She had her arms around him and her head on his shoulder.
They weren’t speaking though. Every now and again, Jesse would drop a kiss onto the top of her head. Carly looked content. More content than Quinn could remember seeing her. Jesse looked happy, too. Quinn was sure that there were some pretty strong feelings there, on both ends. If only they would both stop being so stubborn, they would see it.

Maybe after tonight, she’ll stop pushing him away
, she thought. They had been nearly inseparable the evening before. It looked like the same could be said for tonight.

“She does look happy,
” Quinn said out loud, to Jake. If only Carly would let herself be happy. If only she would let herself work things out with Jesse. But that was another matter entirely.

She glanced around the dance floor. At Jake’s request, a string of slow songs were being played. His parents were dancing and looked so happy. Quinn hoped her marriage would be just like theirs.

Nate and Lily also looked completely enthralled with each other. They were dancing now, gazing into each other’s eyes. Quinn had a feeling they were communicating without actually talking. They seemed that in tuned to each other. They’d met Lily’s freshman year of college and had gotten married the following summer. A few people, including both sets of parents, had commented that they’d moved too fast. But obviously that wasn’t the case. The two had been married for a few years now and they looked as in love as they always had.

Jemma, on the other hand…Quinn couldn’t for the life of her remember the name of Jemma’
s date. Quinn hadn’t met him before last night, at the groom’s dinner. And he wasn’t the date Jemma had originally planned to bring. Yet Jemma looked perfectly happy. And she probably was. Settling down was not on her list of things to do soon.

Possibly not ever.
As long as Jemma was good with that, Quinn didn’t see a problem with it.

She let out a content little sigh. Everyone that she cared about looked so happy.
Almost
everyone. Because…

Then there was Luke…After the Tabby debacle, he apparently didn’t have time to find a date. Or
maybe he simply didn’t want to. He’d attended both the groom’s dinner and now the reception alone. He’d been spending most of his time on the far side of the reception area. Quinn noticed he’d been visiting with his cousins. And now he was drinking at the bar with Jake’s friend, Shane and his date.

She wished
he
would’ve brought a date. He probably could’ve used the distraction. Then again, she realized sadly, maybe that was exactly why he didn’t invite anyone. It might not have been fair to her. For the most part, he’d kept his distance from Quinn so it was hard for her to tell what kind of mood he was in. She just hoped he wasn’t completely miserable.

A
s if he could feel her watching him, he turned around and glanced at her. She smiled and was relieved when he raised his beer to her, as if in a silent, long-distance toast. He gave her a small smile back.

“Your mom
is another matter entirely,” Jake said.

His words pulled
Quinn back into the conversation. She snapped her gaze away from Luke. She had been so busy assessing her sister and her friends that she’d been lost for a moment. Especially when Luke had caught her eye.

Quinn felt Jake’s
laughter rumble against her chest, as it was pressed to his. She glanced at Margo. Her mother was watching them, a melancholy look on her face as she dabbed at her eyes. When Quinn glanced her way, she was treated to a small wave and then Margo clutched delicately at her chest. As if it was painful to see her little girl moving on. And possibly it was. But Quinn thought it probably wasn’t quite as painful as her mother would like to make everyone believe. She forced a smile for her mom. Her dad, on the other hand, beamed proudly at her. She grinned at him and then returned her attention to Jake.

“I know,” she moaned. Margo had been intermittently erupting into tears
all day. Pete had his suit pocket stuffed full of tissues to keep her needs met.

“She’s kind of giving me a complex,” Jake admitted.

Quinn wasn’t sure if he was teasing or not.

“I marry you and she can’t stop crying about it. It’s enough to
take a guy down a couple notches,” he admitted.

“You know she’s not crying because of you,”
Quinn chastised. Though she knew now he was teasing. “She’s crying because…” Quinn shrugged, not wanting to say it.

“Yeah,” Jake said with a laugh. He had no problem saying it. “I know why she’s crying. She likes the attention.”