Hold the Pickles (6 page)

The security guard kept charging toward me. His arms were pumping. His mouth was stretched back toward his ears from the effort. Sweat sprayed off his forehead in a sparkling silver arc. I even had time in my slow-motion world to think that it looked kind of pretty.

I can explain everything to the security guard, I thought.

No, I decided, it would take too long to convince him. Kelsey would be gone by then.

I had to get the purse myself. I needed evidence.

I looked at the Frank Lee Better costume. I realized it was too late put it on. I realized I was going to have to run through the crowded hall in my one-hundred-percent-cotton, Y-front briefs. I realized I had no other choice.

It was a split-second decision. I bolted out ahead of the security guard. The few remaining squares of toilet paper flew off my shoulders like autumn leaves off a speeding car. People looked at me and laughed. I didn't slow down. I kept going, even when I knocked a mascot called Sushi Sue right onto her wasabi.

Kelsey heard the commotion and turned around. She probably didn't know what hit her. I yanked her big red purse off her shoulder and picked up speed. She screamed, “Help! Help! Thief!”

Ironic, don't you think?

It was only when I was running through the crowd toward the exit that it dawned on me. I had no idea what I was going to do with the purse. Give it to the security guard? Give it to Hammy to pay him back for the mess I'd made of things? Give it to my mother for Christmas?

I never had a chance to figure it out. I turned around and saw Shane with his big arms around both girls. He even gets to be the hero, I thought. It seemed so unfair.

The next thing I knew, someone screamed, “I got him!”

I recognized the voice, but I couldn't place it until my feet were knocked out from under me and I was flying through the air.

Cupcake Katie.

Chapter Seventeen

I immediately became a YouTube sensation. Three million hits and climbing. You gotta love cell phones.

It could have been worse. I did get the purse and, after a short tussle, managed to convince the police that it contained all the evidence they needed to convict the girls.

Yes,
girls
with an
s
. Brooke—not her real name—was in on it too. In fact, she was the so-called mastermind. When she realized the security guard was onto her, she needed to find a place to hide. And I, moron that I was, happily gave it to her. The Frank Lee Better costume was perfect. No one would recognize her while she and Kelsey kept on pickpocketing.

The security guy was able to arrest them right there, thanks to the quick thinking of Shane Coolen. (There's a phrase you don't hear very often.) It turns out he didn't have his big arms around Brooke and Kelsey to comfort them. He was “detaining” them, as they say in police shows.

“How did you know to do that?” I asked him later.

He rolled his eyes as if the answer were totally obvious. “Dan,” he said, picking wax out of his ear with his baby finger. “You look too pathetic half-naked to do something like that in public—unless, of course, it's absolutely necessary. You clearly needed my help.”

I thanked him—although I wasn't sure I should have.

Hammy even forgave me. He was disappointed in me at first, but then all the publicity hit. Everyone wanted to try one of his Hogg's Doggs. Luckily, Shane and I were able to talk him into ditching the fiber and adding a bit of flavor by then. Before long, he was making so much money he didn't care about the ripped cape anymore.

But the best news was that Shane had been right about another thing too. She wasn't a meatball or a chicken nugget, but I did run into a girl that day. And when I say “run into,” I mean “run into.”

Sushi Sue just might turn out to be the girl for me. I really did knock her off her feet. We're going to spend some of the money we earned at the Food Fantasia Fun Fair to go out for pizza next week.

Vicki Grant is the bestselling author of numerous books for juveniles and young adults, including
Pigboy
, another Dan Hogg story in the Orca Currents series. Vicki lives in Halifax, Nova Scotia.

Titles in the Series

orca currents

121 Express

Monique Polak

Agent Angus

K.L. Denman

Bear Market

Michele Martin Bossley

Benched

Cristy Watson

Beyond Repair

Lois Peterson

The Big Dip

Melanie Jackson

Bio-pirate

Michele Martin Bossley

Blob

Frieda Wishinsky

Branded

Eric Walters

Camp Wild

Pam Withers

Chat Room

Kristin Butcher

Cheat

Kristin Butcher

Cracked

Michele Martin Bossley

Crossbow

Dayle Campbell Gaetz

Daredevil Club

Pam Withers

Dog Walker

Karen Spafford-Fitz

Explore

Christy Goerzen

Farmed Out

Christy Goerzen

Fast Slide

Melanie Jackson

Finding Elmo

Monique Polak

Flower Power

Ann Walsh

Fraud Squad

Michele Martin Bossley

Hold the Pickles

Vicki Grant

Horse Power

Ann Walsh

Hypnotized

Don Trembath

In a Flash

Eric Walters

Junkyard Dog

Monique Polak

Laggan Lard Butts

Eric Walters

Living Rough

Cristy Watson

Manga Touch

Jacqueline Pearce

Marked

Norah McClintock

Maxed Out

Daphne Greer

Mirror Image

K.L. Denman

Nine Doors

Vicki Grant

Out of Season

Kari Jones

Perfect Revenge

K.L. Denman

Pigboy

Vicki Grant

Power Chord

Ted Staunton

Queen of the Toilet Bowl

Frieda Wishinsky

Rebel's Tag

K.L. Denman

Reckless

Lesley Choyce

See No Evil

Diane Young

Sewer Rats

Sigmund Brouwer

The Shade

K.L. Denman

Skate Freak

Lesley Choyce

Slick

Sara Cassidy

The Snowball Effect

Deb Loughead

Special Edward

Eric Walters

Splat!

Eric Walters

Spoiled Rotten

Dayle Campbell Gaetz

Storm Tide

Kari Jones

Struck

Deb Loughead

Stuff We All Get

K.L. Denman

Sudden Impact

Lesley Choyce

Swiped

Michele Martin Bossley

Watch Me

Norah McClintock

Windfall

Sara Cassidy

Wired

Sigmund Brouwer