Hold Me If You Can (23 page)

A deedub ball? Would Satan be the emcee? Would there be cauldrons of boiling acid positioned strategically around the corners for bad little girls and boys? “I can’t.” She tried to let go of Maggie, but she couldn’t peel her fingers out of the girl’s shoulders. Her teeth began to elongate—

“Natalie!” Maggie shouted, jerking Natalie out of her stupor.

“I won’t do this.” She ripped herself off Maggie and slammed her foot into Ricky’s crotch. “Run, Maggie!” Natalie whirled around and sprinted down the street. Away from Ricky. Away from Maggie. Away from herself.
Run. Run. Run. Run—

The deedub appeared in front of Natalie and slammed his hands into her chest. She careened backwards and landed on her butt. Thick, noxious smoke swirled around him. “Sorry, sweetheart, but I’m not losing again. You’re coming with me.” He had Maggie under his arm, her struggles useless against his strength.

Natalie lurched to her feet. “Let her go!” She threw everything she had into those words, but they were empty, meaningless, powerless. Oh… no. Was her power linked only to Nigel and how he made her feel? Was he the only one who could summon her true self?

He shoved Maggie at her. “Smell her!” he commanded.

“No, no, no.” She stumbled backward, away from her desire to do exactly what he wanted. She could almost taste the chocolate. Almost feel the rush. And the horror. She felt like throwing up. “No—”

He grabbed Natalie by the hair and shoved her face into Maggie’s neck. “Breathe! Now!”

She struggled against his strength. She wasn’t going to fail again. Wasn’t going to succumb. Wasn’t going to be the woman she didn’t want to be—

And then she caught a whiff. A delicious amazing tease of the most decadently delicious scent she’d ever inhaled in her life. Longing pulsed through her, a sense of absolute rightness. This is what she needed to do. Who she was meant to be.

“Yes, yes.” Ricky’s hand softened on her hair, and he stroked it. “Bite her. Bite her now. Become one of us.”

She opened her eyes and saw Maggie’s terrified face. Something lurched inside her, something screamed at her to stop, to listen to who she was… and then it died.

It simply died.

And all that was left was the demon.

Nigel sprinted around the corner and saw Natalie at the far end of the block, locked down by a kid in a tux, with Maggie shouting furiously in the boy’s arms. “Shit!” Fangs had elongated past Natalie’s beautiful lips. Her delicate, flawless skin was bronzed sandpaper, her silken hair like copper wire. He could smell the chocolate from here and knew she was about to cross the line from which she could never go back. “Natalie!”

She looked up, and her face crumpled at the sight of him. “Nigel!” Her voice was desperate, and she reached out to him with one hand, reaching for him. Begging for his help.

“I’m here!” He ran harder, and his palms burned as he called forth his blades. He would not fail her, too.
He
would
not
fail.

“Bite her!” The deedub grabbed her hair and shoved her face down into Maggie’s neck.

“Don’t touch her!” Nigel whipped his hand back to throw the blades… but nothing was there. What the hell? He looked down at his hand and saw no metal. Just charred palms. His body went cold, ice cold.
He’d lost his blades.
Peace had stolen from him the very essence of who he was? Not good!

Maggie screamed as Natalie bared her teeth over the girl’s throat. “Stop!” He sprinted toward them, but he knew he wouldn’t get there in time. “Natalie,” he shouted. “You can defeat this!”

And it was like some hellacious vision, watching Natalie’s face twist in horror as she descended toward Maggie. He saw the look of triumph on the deedub’s face, and Nigel couldn’t do anything. Couldn’t get there. Had no weapons.
Mother
of
hell.

He launched himself into the air, still yards away, bellowing.

Natalie looked up at him, met his gaze, horror reverberating in her eyes, and then sank her teeth into Maggie’s neck.

***

Natalie gasped as Nigel tackled her, pulling her away from Maggie and the deedub. They skidded across the pavement, and he protected her in the shield of his body.

The deedub let out a triumphant roar and held his arms up toward the sky. “And she belongs to us!”

“No, I don’t.” Natalie twisted in Nigel’s arms as he shoved her back, away from Maggie. The Sweet was unconscious on the asphalt, two tooth marks in her neck. Infected. By Natalie. “Oh, my God.”

Ricky thrust the dress at her. “Come, come, my dear. It’s time for the party.”

“Get away from me!” She’d become her worst nightmare. The very thing that had destroyed her whole family. “Maggie? Are you okay?” She started to crawl toward the girl, caught a whiff of chocolate, and her fangs elongated still further. Oh, come on! “Um, Nigel?”

“I’ve got you.” He pulled her back just as the deedub turned toward Maggie and sniffed.

“Well, well, lots left to eat,” Ricky said. “Can’t give up a chance for a Sweet.” He started toward Maggie.

“No!” Natalie commanded. “You will leave her here!”

He snorted, her orders useless against him. “No chance—”

“I disagree.” Nigel set Natalie aside, then grabbed the deedub and threw him against Natalie’s car. “You don’t get to have the girls. They’re mine.” Nigel’s voice wasn’t as dark and deadly as it used to be. It was almost conversational, but his eyes were tormented. As if the warrior in him was fighting to get free, but it was trapped by the spell she’d put on him. Which, apparently, was exactly what was going on.

“Don’t take away my rewards,” Ricky snapped. He wrenched himself out of Nigel’s grasp, ripped a parking meter out of the street, then upended it into Nigel’s head. Nigel went flying and landed in a pile near a trash can.

“Nigel!” Natalie dropped beside him as he hit the dirt, his head bleeding from a crevice in his skull. This was her fault. The normal Nigel would never have been vulnerable to a second-rate assailant like Ricky. But she’d stolen everything that made Nigel who he was.

“I’m fine. Just need a second.” He struggled to his sitting position as the deedub threw Maggie over his shoulder.

“Get yourself cleaned up, Natalie,” Ricky said. “Just a note regarding proper deedub etiquette: It’s not polite to sic your pathetic boyfriend on your dates.”

“No! Stop!” She tried to grab him, and he backhanded her back to the pavement.

“Be nice. I’m taking the girl. Others would love a bite of this succulence. You can have the leftovers when you get there. I’ll be back in twenty minutes to get you.” His upper lip curled. “Be dressed and ready, my pretty.”

“Don’t take her!” Natalie stumbled to her feet. “Don’t—”

Nigel yanked her back and forced her to face him. “Undo it, Natalie! Take the peace off me! Now!”

She fought to get free. “I can’t—”

“You can. In order to stop him, you need to free me.” He held her arms so tightly she knew he was leaving marks. “Tap into it, Natalie. I know you can. Bring it on. I can stop him.
”

She started to look over her shoulder at the deedub to see if he’d left yet, but Nigel turned her back toward him, his touch gentle on her chin. “No, sweetheart.” His voice was eerily calm, not him, but it was still soothing to her. “It’s only about me right now.” He set his hand on her heart. “Feel my presence and my comfort. I can keep you safe when you tap into your sensuality. Trust me. Just trust me.”

She saw the fierceness buried deep in his soul, the warrior who had once been free to take on the world. She felt his determination to shed this artificial peace consuming him. She felt his soul reach for hers, and suddenly a deep warmth was surrounding her, penetrating the coldness of her body. She gripped his hands and opened herself to his strength. “Your blades are violent and dangerous,” she said. The words were tingling, heavy. Not powerful, but at least they were alive. “You are the man you were before I interfered.”

Nigel’s shoulders shuddered, and his body rippled with strength. “More.” He cupped her face and pressed his forehead to hers, his lips to hers, the ultimate in intimacy. “I feel your spirit wrapped around mine,” he whispered. “Let me have your whole soul. Open your soul to me, Natalie.”

Power swelled in her chest like a hurricane, and she felt her walls tumble down. “Your blades are deadly, and you live and fight with passion, with anger, with every fiber of your soul,” she said. “You’re a warrior!”

He flew backwards, his hands ripping out of hers as he was slammed into a fire hydrant. His face contorted with fury, with fierceness, with the eyes of the warrior. He was back!

Relief cascaded through her, and she felt like cheering. Who knew she’d be so happy to see the monster again?

Nigel blew her a kiss as he leapt to his feet. “You don’t get to take the girl,” he called to Ricky. Dozens of blades flashed in his palms, and he hurled them at the deedub.

Ricky yelped and staggered backward as the blades hit him. “Too late, you dumb bastard. All the women are mine!” Then he disappeared into a thick wall of purple smoke with Maggie.

“Too late? We’re too late?” Natalie was too stunned to move, riveted to the pavement in shock at the disappearance of Maggie and Ricky. “I bit her.” Her soul was black, black, black. She’d fallen into the trap, and this time, it wasn’t herself she’d killed. It was someone else.

And Maggie was only the first. What about those little girls she’d seen running in the field? They were Sweets. Those girls could be next!

She pictured the young Sweets, and suddenly her revulsion was replaced with thoughtfulness. Then anticipation roiled through her, and she rose to her feet. She knew where to find them. She would just go and—

Oh, no. What was she doing? “Nigel,” she gasped. “I think I need help.”

But when she looked over at him, he was hunched over, hands on his knees, taking deep breaths. “The blades are trying to take over again.” He bunched his fists, and his body vibrated with the effort of containing them. “We went too far.”

Natalie’s stomach cramped, and she thought of those girls again. Took a step toward her car. She could drive there. Be there in ten. “Nigel. I’m going to go kill those girls.”

He looked up, and his face was stricken. “Don’t tell me that. Pisses me off that I didn’t protect you. Need to pull my shit together. Can’t think of a plan when I’m losing my mind over worry for you.” He gave her a grim smile. “You distract me, my love, which is lovely, but it’s really not helping right now.”

My
love?
She really wished she had time to delve more deeply into that comment. But she was at the car now and about to head off onto a deadly field trip. “Don’t suppress your weapons. Unleash them. Take me out.” Tears filled her eyes at her request. But what else was there? She would not hurt anyone else. She wouldn’t. “Hit me with them. Make it end.”

“No!” He grabbed her and pinned her against the car, but there was a thoughtfulness to his expression, as if an idea was ruminating in his mind. “Don’t even say that. We’re going to save you, and I’m going to get Christian—” A blade exploded out of his shoulder and impaled itself in her car door. “
Shit.
You have a really nice car. Sorry.”

“I’m not really worried about the car, but thanks.” Natalie began to struggle against his grip, the compulsion to go after those little girls taking over her determination to be a responsible citizen and let the little darlings continue wreaking havoc all over the neighborhood. “Nigel! Stop me. Kill me. I won’t be this monster.”

“You’re not a monster.”

“I am!” Tears were streaming down her face now, and she didn’t care. “Don’t you get it?” She held up her hand, saw the bronze highlights to her skin. “I’m a demon,” she whispered. “If Maggie comes back, if I save her, I’ll just bite her again. Or those girls—” Dark, lethal need began to grow inside her, and she felt power surging through her. “Nigel? Something’s happening to me.”

“I can feel it. Demon strength.” He met her gaze. “You’ll be stronger than I am in a minute. More desperate, too.”

She closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the car. “End it now, then.”

“Fuck, no. It’s never over.”

“Really?” She opened her eyes and stared into his tortured face. “Can you stop me? If I took away your fury, could you still stop me from killing those girls?”

Nigel shook his head. “No. It wiped me out when you stripped me before. I had nothing. I need to get control on my own.”

“With art?”

“It’s my way.”

“But you’ll draw someone else—”

“I know—” He grinned suddenly. “That’s it!” He grabbed her face and kissed her. “That’s what we’ll do!”

She had no clue what he was talking about, but she was so happy to see his excitement. Her warrior was back in the game, and she was totally okay if he accidentally hit her with a blade or two because he was a little too deadly for his own good. “What is?”

“Do you have a pen and paper in your car?”

“I don’t know. Why?”

“I’m going to draw us. I’m going to turn us in.” He gritted his teeth against another wave. “It’s the only way to get access to Mari fast enough. She needs to take the smut off you, and I’m going to get my boys.”

Oh, man. Because that last trip into the Den had gone so well. “But then we’ll be there on her terms. She’ll destroy our minds and—”

“Not this time.” He grinned. “I’m done castrating my own powers. I’m taking control, and I’m doing it now. You just told me to embrace my weapons and use them, and I realized you’re right. I’m not going to try to suppress them anymore. I’m going to use them the way they’re meant to be used. A brilliant idea, Nat.” He kissed her hard once, his eyes dancing with anticipation. “You in?”

She thought of Maggie. Her sisters. Pascal. Her only chance to save Maggie was to become sane again.

They would succeed. Because there was no other acceptable result. Yes, she wasn’t having success at calling up her power unless Nigel was seducing her, but she knew it was there. She could do it. She
would
do it when it mattered. “Yes, I’m in.”

“Good.” He stepped back and released her. “Get the pen. We’re shutting you down.”

“Great—”
Shutting
her
down?
As in, taking her away from her deedub destiny? Protest boiled inside her, a demon that was not so happy about that proposal. “Uh, oh—” Fire ripped through her body, an explosion of pure demonic expulsion. It threw Nigel onto his back as only demon fire could do. Flames encased him, burning him alive as he fought against them, fighting to break free while they buried him in their tainted fury. “Nigel!”

“It’s okay, sweetheart,” he yelled. “I know it’s not personal. Give me a sec and I’ll be fine.”

“See? I told you to kill me!” She tried to go to him, to help him, but instead, she turned toward the car that would take her to those girls.

“Never. A man likes a woman who’s a challenge.” He rolled over, and the flash of metal became visible behind the flames. “Trying to murder me doesn’t change the beauty of your soul, sweetheart. You’re still what I would choose to draw if I could have only one subject for the rest of my life.”

Okay, was that the sweetest thing ever? “You kind of make me melt, Nigel.” She reached for the door handle to her car, unable to stop herself from leaving him to become toasted marshmallow. Did demons have no sense of romance whatsoever? Choosing chocolate over romantic words and heart-melting declarations?

“Kind of made you melt?” The flames grew higher and louder, and she could barely see him behind the wall of demon light. “Clearly, I need to work on my tactics.”

“No.” She pulled the door open and slid into the seat. “You’re perfect exactly as you are.” And as her hands folded over the steering wheel, the protests in her soul faded, replaced by a growing glee. She was having twins for dinner! “Good-bye, Nigel.”

“I’m coming after you,” he yelled.

“I hope to God you do.” Then she slammed the door shut, cutting herself off from the only man she’d ever let into her soul. She revved the engine, shifted into drive, and pulled out before the towering wall of flames destroying the man she loved had even begun to reach full strength.

The squeal of the tires as she peeled out almost drowned out her soul’s wail of anguish.