Hold Me (18 page)

He sucked in deeply, pulling and flicking his tongue. She groaned. Her fingers clutched his head as if she wanted to be sure he never let go. He shifted to her other breast and did the same. Her breathing increased, and she squirmed against him, then her head dropped back as she moaned.

She was desire incarnate, he thought hazily. All need and hunger. How had anyone made love with her without pleasing her first? If she was this excited when he was touching her breasts, how difficult would it be to bring her to orgasm?

Men were idiots, he thought cheerfully, toeing off his shoes and removing his own shirt. And that was just plain lucky for him.

He pushed the table aside and settled her on the bench of the booth. She pulled off her boots, then helped him remove her jeans and panties. The second she was naked, she brought his hands back to her breasts, which made it tough for him to take off the rest of his clothes. But he substituted his mouth for his fingers and managed to undress.

She stroked his chest and smiled up at him. Her eyes seemed a little glazed, and for a second, he wondered how drunk she really was. Then she whispered, “Kiss me,” and he was lost.

Their tongues tangled. The bench was long enough for him to stretch out on top of her. Not doing it, he told himself. Not yet. He just wanted to see how they fit together.

She welcomed the weight of him, shifting and then wrapping her arms around him.

“I knew it would be like this,” she murmured against his lips. “DNA always wins out.”

“DNA?”

“It doesn’t matter.” She smiled. “That breast thing really works.”

“You liked it?”

“Very much. Who knew?”

“What about the rest of it? What else do you like? How would you like me to please you, Destiny? My mouth, my hands, like this?”

As he spoke, he pushed in gently. Just a little. The tip.

She was hot and wet and tight. Her eyes widened, and her mouth parted. He read the signs as pleasure and pushed in more. A little deeper, a little farther.

Which turned out to be a mistake because he hadn’t been with a woman in months and months. That fact became very clear when he felt the familiar pressure building at the base of his cock. Panic flared as his brain searched for a solution to a very imminent problem.

It had been all of two seconds. Seriously? What the hell was he supposed to do now? Pull out and come all over her leg like some teenager? Or simply push in all the way and come like some teenager? Either way he was going to be humiliated.

He swore. “I swear, it’s not usually like this,” he told her. “I’ll take care of you in a second, okay? It’s just—”

His hips gave an involuntary flex. He pushed in.

Three things happened at once. Destiny put her hands on his shoulders and said, “Kipling, I’m—”

He felt something between him and the deep, wet place he most wanted to go. Instinctively, he pushed harder, and the barrier gave way. And he climaxed.

He pulled out as fast as he could, but it was too late. Foreboding grew as he looked down and saw blood on his penis. Pieces of a very surrealistic puzzle fell into place. He shook off the obvious solution and searched for another explanation.

There was no way. It wasn’t possible. She was in her late twenties. She was beautiful. She was—

“You’re a virgin?”

CHAPTER ELEVEN

“W
AS
,” D
ESTINY
SAID
automatically, telling herself that in some strange, twisted way, the circumstances were completely fitting. Why wouldn’t she lose her virginity in a bar? She was her parents’ daughter, after all. Destiny couldn’t escape her destiny.

She giggled at the ridiculousness of it and thought maybe she was a little drunker than she’d realized.

Kipling scrambled to his feet and stared at her. “You’re a virgin?” he repeated. “No. You can’t be. ”

She sat up and tried to figure out how she felt. A little sore and, to be honest, disappointed. After all this time, all her plans and hopes to not be like her parents, she’d done it. She’d had sex with a guy in a bar. And while the kissing had been fun, and she’d really liked how she’d felt when he touched her breasts, in the end it hadn’t been all that interesting.

Sex, like many forbidden things in life, was all hype. Her parents had broken up marriages, abandoned their children and tried very hard to destroy themselves over that? Three seconds of pressure with a bit of pain thrown in? She’d rather go eat a brownie.

What about the earth moving and all that crap people sang about? The intense, life-changing moment? Talk about anticlimactic.

“Destiny.”

Kipling’s voice was sharp. Maybe a little panicked.

“I’m fine.”

“You were a virgin?”

She nodded and stood. The room only swam a little, which was probably a good thing. She was going to have to—

She glanced down at herself and realized she was naked. Totally and completely naked. In a bar. What had she been thinking?

“My clothes,” she said.

Kipling handed her her underwear still rolled up in her jeans. She pulled them apart and slipped on her panties. While she stepped into her jeans, he collected her T-shirt and bra then started getting dressed himself.

“We have to talk about this,” he told her.

“No, we don’t. I’m fine. I’m an adult. I did it. We did it.” All that waiting, she thought. “I’d wondered, and now I know.”

He slipped on his shirt. “It’s not that simple.”

“Sure it is. Don’t worry. I’m perfectly fine.”

“You’re not. You can’t be.”

She slipped on her boots and made sure she still had her keys, cell phone and credit card. Her credit card.

“I never paid for my drinks.”

“I’ll take care of it.”

“You don’t have to pay for them.”

He grabbed her by her upper arms. “We have to talk about what happened.”

She felt the first throbbing promise of a headache. “Tomorrow,” she said. “I’m not feeling well.”

Kipling hesitated, as if he were going to push back, then he nodded once. “Tomorrow. For sure.”

She wasn’t sure if he was promising or threatening, and right now she didn’t care.

He led the way to the front door, then locked it behind them. The walk to her house was accomplished in silence.

When they stood on her porch, she did her best to smile and sound perky. “I’m completely okay. I’m as much responsible for what happened as you are. I have no recriminations. You need to let it go.”

His expression was unreadable. “We’ll talk tomorrow.”

“I’ll count the hours.”

She let herself in the house and went directly to her room. Seconds later, she was in her pj’s and about a minute after that, she was sound asleep. Her last conscious thought was
virgin, smirgin. It was no big deal at all.

* * *

D
ESTINY
WOKE
TO
the mother of all hangovers. Her head had grown two sizes in the night, her body ached and there was a nagging sense of something having gone very wrong. Not that she could think clearly.

At least Starr was still at her friend’s and had a ride to camp. Destiny’s only responsibility was to survive the next couple of hours. Hydration and aspirin, she thought as she crossed to the bathroom. Then she would feel better.

The previous night was more than a little fuzzy. She remembered feeling out of sorts and how the singing had made it better. There had also been way too many Long Island Iced Teas.

She turned on the shower, then brushed her teeth while the water got hot. She dropped her pj’s to the floor and was about to step into the shower when it all came crashing back.

The kissing. The touching. The sex.

“Oh, my God! I had sex with Kipling.”

She stood there, one leg raised to step over the edge of the tub. Memories returned in vivid color and 3D detail. His body against hers. The way he’d stroked her. How nice it had all been and how at the end, she couldn’t, for the life of her, get what all the fuss was about.

She was both embarrassed and resigned. She’d wondered, and now she knew. She supposed she’d experienced a rite of passage. To be honest, now that she’d done it, her sensible plan made even more sense. Why would anyone want to do that more than one or two times in a life?

She stepped into the steamy water and let the heat of it soak into her muscles. It was for the best, she told herself as she washed her hair. There weren’t any more mysteries. She was just like most other women her age. At least when she did meet the right man, she wouldn’t have to have the awkward “I’m a virgin” conversation. Because she’d sure shocked Kipling.

She smiled as she thought of his wide-eyed stare. She could almost feel sorry for him. She was old enough that there was no way he would have been expecting that particular surprise. Briefly she wondered if it had made the experience different for him, but knew there was nothing she could do about it.

She still couldn’t figure out why people did the things they did for sex, she thought later as she dressed. It simply wasn’t all that special. But then many things in life were surprising or puzzling. This was just one of those.

She got her backpack and texted Starr a quick “good morning,” before heading out to Brew-haha. She wasn’t much of a coffee drinker, but today called for the biggest coffee in the history of the universe, followed by about a gallon of water. That should get her on the road to feeling better. Oh, and she would make sure not to drink for weeks and weeks.

She walked the few blocks to the coffee shop. As she waited at the light, she saw a man in the park. There was nothing unusual about that. What made this sighting memorable were the odd feathers he was holding and the striped paint on his face. Plus, he kind of looked like he was doing some odd version of Tai Chi.

She walked into the store and found everyone there watching the man in the park.

“What’s going on?” she asked.

Patience, the owner, shook her head. “Near as we can figure, Ford is trying to perform an ancient Máa-zib fertility ritual.”

“Oh, right. For the pregnancy bet.”

Patience started toward the cash register. “You know about the bet?”

“Yes. Men are so strange.”

Patience laughed. “They are. Why doesn’t he simply get her pregnant the regular way? With sex? Oh, well. Not my problem. What can I get you?”

“A large latte to go,” Destiny said automatically, even as part of her brain started keening and rocking back and forth.

Get pregnant the regular way? With sex? Like the sex she’d had the previous night? Sex with absolutely zero protection?

She handed over her money and nodded as Patience talked, but Destiny couldn’t do anything but try to keep the spinning world in focus. Her chest was tight, her body cold, and panic began to swallow her whole.

Pregnant? Pregnant? No and no. She couldn’t be. They’d only done it one time, and she’d been a virgin. Didn’t she get a free pass or something? She’d never been all that interested in biology, but surely she’d read something like that.

“Destiny?”

She blinked and saw Patience holding out a to-go cup.

“Sorry. Too many Long Island Iced Teas last night,” she said with a nervous laugh. “I’m still foggy.”

Patience nodded knowingly. “I’ve been to that particular party myself.” Her eyes widened. “Were you at The Man Cave? Did you sing? I’d love to hear you sing again.”

“Next time,” Destiny said, knowing there wasn’t going to be a next time. Not for the singing or the drinking or the sex. When she got restless, she would take up jogging or go split logs. She knew how to split logs, and that would be a whole lot safer than what she’d done the previous night. The worst that would happen with a misplaced ax was she would chop off her foot.

She called out, “Have a good day,” and hurried toward the exit. She needed to drink her coffee and get her heart rate back to normal.

Pregnant? There was no possible way.

Having reassured herself, she sipped her hot coffee and walked toward her office. The day was pretty, and if she ignored the memories crowding in around her, she would be fine. Better than fine. She would be—

She rounded a corner and ran smack into Kipling. When she started to stagger to the side, he grabbed her by her upper arms and steadied her.

“I was coming to see you,” he said.

I was planning on avoiding you.
Not that she said that aloud. Instead she managed what she hoped was a friendly, “Oh.”

They stared at each other.

His hands were still on her arms, and she could feel the heat of his skin, along with the pressure of each individual finger. He had nice hands, she thought idly. Large and capable. He’d had his hands on her body. He’d seen her naked. OMG, the man had seen her naked.

A shrill sound built up inside her, but Destiny forced it down. Calm, she told herself. She was calm. Later, she would look up meditation on the internet and start practicing for sure. Because no matter what, she would not turn into her screaming, plate-throwing, emotionally intense parents. One sexual encounter did not a crazy person make. She was stronger than her DNA, stronger than her hormones, stronger than whatever she needed to be stronger than.

Kipling pulled her toward a bench. She thought about bolting, but knew he would only follow. If they were seen running through town, people would talk, and she really didn’t want the speculation. She sat.

He settled, angled toward her. His blue eyes were dark with worry and concern.

“I’m fine,” she told him, hoping to short-circuit the conversation with reassurances. “Completely and totally fine.”

“I don’t believe you.”

He looked good, she thought absently. Tired, as if he hadn’t slept much the night before. There were shadows under his eyes. But still, there was something about him. The shape of his mouth, maybe. It was nice, and she’d enjoyed kissing him. Those little neck nibbles had given her goose bumps. And when he’d put his big hands on her breasts and licked her nipples, she’d—

Stop it!

She screamed the command in her head. She was a sensible, rational person. Sensible, rational people didn’t think the word
nipple
at 8:15 in the morning. Ever.

“I didn’t know if I should call you, or come by,” he admitted. “You shocked the hell out of me last night.”

She sipped her coffee. Okay, they weren’t not going talk about what had happened. She could deal. They would discuss it and put it behind them.

“Last night,” she clarified.

“Yeah, last night. We have to talk about it.”

Yes, she’d figured that part out herself. “Because of the sex.”

He stared at her. “It’s more than that, Destiny. You were a virgin. You should have said something.”

“I didn’t know what to say,” she admitted.

“How about, ‘Kipling, this is my first time’?”

“In retrospect, that makes sense,” she admitted, not sure when she would have mentioned the fact. Any sentence with the word
virgin
in it was going to make things awkward. “I had a lot to drink, and I wasn’t thinking. It all happened so fast.”

He tensed. “About that,” he began, then paused.

She waited.

“I haven’t had a girlfriend in a while. You know...first the accident and then my recovery. I was in the hospital and rehab for months. Then I came here.”

She sipped her coffee. “I think I knew all that.”

He rubbed his face. “I’m talking about my performance. It isn’t usually like that.”

“What part?” It really
had
happened so fast, she thought. Or maybe it was that it had happened hazy. “The whole thing is kind of a blur, to be honest. I don’t drink very much, but with the singing and all. I just wanted to get lost in the music.”

He opened his mouth then closed it. “What? What are you talking about?”

“I’m not sure. I’m sorry you were in the hospital for a long time after you were injured.”

He swore and stood. “That’s not what I want to talk about.”

“You’re the one who brought it up.”

She couldn’t be sure, but she thought maybe he was grinding his teeth together. He swore again, then sat back on the bench.