His to Command #1: The Chase (3 page)

When Kate arrived at her apartment, she heard the phone ringing. She unlocked the door and rushed inside to snatch up the handset.

“Kate, thank goodness you’re home.” Ellen’s voice on the other end, out of breath, almost frantic, accelerated Kate’s heartbeat. Her fingers flexed tightly around the phone.

“What’s wrong, Ellen?”

“You’re asking
me
what’s wrong? For heaven’s sake, I saw you racing through Cavendish Mall with that guy right behind you. What the heck was going on?”

She struggled for something to say that would satisfy her friend, but failed miserably. She pressed her hand to her forehead and shoved her hair back. “Ellen, it was nothing.”

“I don’t believe you. Look, I’ll be right over and we’ll talk. It’ll take a few minutes because I’m just leaving the mall now. Is there anything you want me to tell mall security about him?”

“About who?” Kate asked, afraid of Ellen’s answer.

“The guy who was after you, who else? Come on, Kate. Get with it.”

Kate sank onto a dining room chair. “Why would security—”

“Are you kidding? When I saw you in trouble, I raced straight to get help.”

Oh, God, Ellen hadn’t really reported Matt, had she? Images of Matt being handcuffed and dragged off to jail flared in Kate’s mind.

“Did they…go after him?”

“No, mall security isn’t what it’s cracked up to be. I was a few minutes from calling the real police. If you hadn’t picked up…” She heard her friend take a deep calming breath.

It was just as well. Even if the police had apprehended Matt, he would have had them apologizing profusely for detaining him, and probably offering to help find her. He had a knack for turning every situation to his own advantage.

“Do you know this guy?” Ellen asked.

“Ellen, I just…really don’t want to talk about this.”

“Okay, not over the phone.” Ellen’s frustration was clear.

Kate could imagine her friend’s face puckered into a scowl.

“But I’m coming over there right now so we can talk in person,” Ellen continued.

By the time Ellen rapped on Kate’s door, she’d pulled together a pot of coffee and a plate of chocolate chip cookies, desperate to distract herself from agitated thoughts of Matt.

“So,” Ellen said as she strode into the room, “tell me what that was all about. Who was that guy?”

Kate waved her to a chair and sat across from her. She poured some coffee for both of them from the thermal jug she’d set on the table, then added cream and sugar to her own cup. Ellen sipped her black coffee, watching Kate carefully.

“Remember I told you that just before I moved here, I was in a relationship, but it didn’t work out?”

That’s all she’d told Ellen about it. Just the bare facts.

“Sure. That’s why you never date. I figured you’re still hung up on the guy.”

More like gun-shy, but Kate didn’t confirm or deny Ellen’s assumption.

When Kate didn’t explain any more, Ellen’s eyes widened in astonishment. “You mean that was him?”

At Kate’s confirming nod, Ellen’s expression of astonishment shifted to one of anger. She grabbed the phone from the stand and handed it to Kate. “Call the police,” she commanded. “Right now.”

Kate took the phone and laid it on the table. “I’m not going to do that.”

Ellen sighed in exasperation. “You’re crazy. The man could be dangerous.”

“Ellen, I am not going to call the police.”

“But the way he was chasing you, I don’t think he had a pleasant chat in mind.” Ellen examined Kate’s expression. “Have you seen him hanging around recently?”

Kate pursed her lips. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Uh-huh. The guy’s stalking you.” Then sympathy filled her eyes and her tone softened. “Kate, you really need to call the police.”

Kate’s sense of helplessness flashed to annoyance. “Why would I? They aren’t going to do anything just because an ex-boyfriend pursued me in a mall. And even if they did, Matt is a rich and powerful man. With his resources, he’d be out immediately.” A pounding started in her temples and she pressed her palm against her forehead.

Ellen paused, watching her with concern.

“I know I get a little overzealous sometimes, but…” She reached out and took Kate’s hand. “I’m just worried about you.”

Kate patted their clasped fingers. “I know. Look, I’m sure he just wanted to talk.”

“If you think that, why did you run?”

Kate frowned as her gaze darted to Ellen. What could she possibly say?

“Kate, why don’t you tell me about what happened? For instance, why did you break up with the guy?”

Kate’s hands clenched tightly around her mug as she shook her head.

“Just go back to the beginning and tell me as much as you’re comfortable with,” Ellen said gently. “From the look of you, you really need to talk about it.”

Kate stared into her coffee, wondering if she should. It couldn’t hurt if she was cautious. She took a quick sip of coffee, giving herself time to compose her thoughts, then she placed her mug on the table.

“All right.”

Ellen leaned forward in her chair and nodded. Kate could feel her friend scrutinizing her every movement, which made her more nervous.

“I was the project leader for a consulting contract for Matt’s company. That’s how I met him.”

“You weren’t worried about an office romance?”

“Not really. I didn’t actually work for him. I was a contractor and didn’t even work on-site. The only reason we met was because he visited our offices to meet my team. Later, I went to his office to talk to some of his staff, and Matt happened by. He invited me to lunch, and things progressed from there.”

A half smile turned up her lips as she remembered the flutter of her heart when he’d asked her to lunch and she’d sensed his interest had more to do with her than the project. “He was this incredibly sexy, intelligent, successful hunk and I just couldn’t believe he was interested in me.”

“Come on, Kate. Have you been near a mirror lately?”

Self-consciously, Kate shoved her hair behind her ears and stroked its length. Matt had always loved her long, auburn hair.

“I know there were things about me he found attractive but…Well, every time he stared at me with that sexy grin on his face, I had to stop myself from glancing around to see who he was really looking at.”

Ellen waved a cookie in Kate’s direction. “You obviously had something that attracted him or he wouldn’t still be chasing you after all this time.”

Kate sipped her coffee. How had such a wonderful beginning led her to such heartache?

“Did you love him?”

The unexpected question caught her off guard. She stared at the arrangement of pink silk roses on the center of the table. She didn’t have to think about the answer. She thought about it every night before she went to sleep and every morning after she woke up. Her dreams wouldn’t let her forget. Nights full of passion, and pain.

“Yes, I loved him.”

“So why did you break it off?”

Oh, damn, she couldn’t answer that. At least, not the whole reason. She tightened her fingers around the mug, refusing to think about the nightmare that had torn her from Matt.

She grabbed a cookie and nibbled. Maybe it would be good for her to tell Ellen part of it. To share what she’d never shared with anyone before.

“I…” Her free hand bunched into a fist. This was hard. She set the cookie down. “When I was with Matt, I didn’t like how I behaved.”

Ellen’s eyebrows raised, but she said nothing.

“Matt was always strong-willed and when we were…together…” She glanced at Ellen. “He was very dominating.”

Ellen’s eyes narrowed. “So, in the bedroom he was too rough with you?”

“No, not that. It’s not the way he was, it’s the way I reacted to him.”

At Kate’s hesitation, Ellen shook her head. “I’m not quite getting it.”

“I became another woman. He took command, and I
wanted
him to. I wanted him to totally control me.” She drew in a deep breath. “And that bothered me.”

“Really? Because there’s nothing wrong with a little role-playing in the bedroom…as long as he didn’t take things too far.”

He
had
gone too far, but that’s not what Kate wanted to talk about.

“But to totally submit to a man? It didn’t feel right.”

“Then why did you allow it?”

Kate shook her head. “It’s not that I allowed it. As I said, I wanted it. I
needed
it.” She stood up and paced. “The closer we got, the more I gave up to him. I felt I was losing myself.”

“Did he take advantage of your submission? Pressure you to do things you didn’t want to do?”

A memory flashed through her mind. Of lying in bed, Matt stroking her cheek with a loving look in his eyes.

“No, never.” Her jaw clenched. But that wasn’t really true. At the end, during that party…

“Kate, are you okay?”

She drew in another deep breath. “Of course.” She gazed at Ellen. “It wasn’t about what Matt did.”

Again, that wasn’t quite true. Ultimately, it had been what Matt did that caused her to walk away, but even before that, Kate had struggled with the relationship, and still didn’t understand why she’d behaved the way she had.

“It’s about why I submit to him so completely.”

“And why is that?” Ellen asked.

“That’s the thing. I really don’t understand it.”

“Well, okay. Tell me a bit about your childhood.”

Kate thought back. She really didn’t like thinking about her childhood. She’d been happy to get out on her own and away from her family.

“Well, my father was overbearing. And very critical.”

For as long as she could remember, he had constantly berated her mother. Then as Kate and her brother got older, he’d started on them, too. He’d often told Kate she would never amount to anything, and she was sure that had led to a lack of trust in her own abilities. Something she’d had to fight against her whole life, including getting through college. She’d had to keep telling herself she could do it and not let his constant voice in her head discourage her.

“My mother never really stood up to him,” Kate continued.

Her mother hadn’t protected Kate and her brother from the emotional abuse. As an adult, Kate realized her mother had been incapable of doing so, but as a child, Kate had felt that lack of protection as a deep betrayal.

Neither of her parents had been a very good role model, and Kate had certainly learned not to trust authority figures, even when they meant well, like her mother had.

A big reason Kate had been attracted to Matt was because while he was authoritative, he was slow to anger, he stood up for what he believed, and he encouraged his subordinates to grow and thrive.

“It sounds like you don’t want to be overwhelmed by a domineering man, because from your mother’s example you’re afraid it makes you weak. And you said your father was critical of you. Was Matt critical of you?”

Kate gazed at her. “No. He was actually very encouraging.”

“So, although he dominated you, he was nothing like your father.” Ellen squeezed Kate’s hand. “You know, maybe you should talk to him and try to work out your issues. You said you still love the guy.” She shrugged. “Maybe you could still make it work. I mean, he
is
gorgeous.” She winked. “And you said he’s rich. He’s certainly worth a little effort. Maybe you can convince yourself that it’s okay being submissive—which it is, as long as it’s only in the bedroom—or learn to be the one who takes charge. Who knows? He might just love it.”

Ellen’s total about-face flummoxed Kate. “A minute ago, you were telling me to call the police on the guy. What gives?”

“Well, honey, that was before I realized you were running from yourself, not him.”

That night, Kate replayed the conversation with Ellen in her head. It had been good talking to her about her relationship with Matt. She’d never told anyone how she reacted to Matt, and Ellen’s acceptance of it, even encouragement, helped.

But Ellen was wrong about Kate being able to make it work. Kate had thought about that a lot during the lonely nights after she’d walked away. Even if things hadn’t turned out so terribly wrong, she didn’t believe the two of them could ever have made it work.

When they’d still been together, she had tried to change how she reacted to him. Even tried to take control. It hadn’t turned out as she’d expected.

A few months into the relationship, Kate had been feeling a little overwhelmed by her submissiveness. How could any woman in this day and age allow herself to be controlled by a man? Especially after women had fought for so long to have control in a man’s world. She’d felt like a traitor to womankind.

Yet, she’d loved being with Matt. When she realized she was falling in love with him, she’d decided it was time to do something about it and try something new.

It had been on a Saturday afternoon, and she’d been spending the weekend with him at a luxurious country house he’d rented. He’d had a few hours of work to do that day, so he’d been in the den at the computer, while she’d been out by the pool.

As she lay stretched out on the lounge chair, she imagined Matt sitting beside her, wearing only a bathing suit, his muscular chest and well-sculpted abs on display. She’d love to convince him to go skinny-dipping with her. The thought of him stripping off his swimming trunks and walking to the pool with the hot afternoon sun blazing on his naked body as his large cock swung back and forth set her insides quivering. He’d dive into the water and surface, his body glazed in glistening water. Then he’d walk toward her and…things would progress nicely from there.