His to Cherish (3 page)

Conversation was sparse during dinner. I didn't understand why he'd come to my house, why he'd decided to help me, and why he stayed for dinner, but for me, even with the thick sadness covering us like my shade umbrella, I was happy to not be alone.

Sure, I spent time with my girlfriends, but besides our monthly dinners at Fireside Grill where we drank too many margaritas and ate our weight in nachos, my friends were all getting married or enjoying their married lives. They had things to do, and it was nice to have company for dinner for once.

I allowed Aidan space while we ate, commenting on the delicious steak he cooked.

It was fantastic, and done perfectly. I loved eating grilled food, but in my mind the grill was a “man's domain.” Not that I couldn't do it, but my food always ended up overcooked.

I figured the Y chromosome filled men with magical grilling powers.

“Something funny?”

His deep, raspy voice made my head snap up, my mouth freezing open with my fork and the last bite of steak at the tip of my tongue.

I must have been smiling.

When I glanced at Aidan, his head was tilted slightly to the side, and his hand was wrapped around a bottle of beer.

“Nothing.” I shook my head. “Just thinking about something.”

He looked out at my backyard.

The part of me that didn't like to be lazy meant I'd spent time adding massive gardens and landscaping to the backyard since Cory moved out. I had bawled for hours while planting shrubs and flowers, moving rocks and mulch. The work and the creativity had become a type of therapy for me, allowing me to get my anger and frustration and sadness out in a way that also created something new and beautiful.

“Thanks for letting me stop by tonight.”

I blinked and pulled my eyes away from his. I had always thought Aidan spoke quietly and with purpose. Even before Derrick's death, he had never been the loudest or most boisterous person in the world. Now his words were rough and guttural, as if every word he spoke caused him pain.

I sensed he wanted to say more, so I gave him time.

When he did, my eyebrows pulled in.

“The vultures are relentless these days.”

My eyes flickered to the sky and I frowned. I was thinking of the large birds, and I didn't think I'd ever seen any in my life.

“What?” I asked when I still didn't understand.

“That's what Derrick calls…called them.” His voice tripped over the word, the change to past tense, and I had to look away.

My eyes watered and I sniffed.

“I don't…”

“Single moms,” Aidan said.

The water I had just sipped ended up in my nose. I coughed as it burned, while my eyes watered and my cheeks flushed. I reached for a napkin only to find one in front of me, in Aidan's hand, held between his tanned fingers. “Sorry.”

“It's okay.” I wiped my nose and took another sip of the water to wash away the burn.

My mind flickered back to the night of the wake, the women who were planning on seducing the single man, and I couldn't stop the laugh that bubbled inside me.

“Are they getting bad?” I asked.

“Yeah.” He looked away and ran a hand down his rough cheek. He looked at his palm, as if he didn't like the feeling of his beard against his skin, and strummed his finger on the glass. “Apparently three weeks is long enough. They've been stopping by every night to ‘help.' ”

He made air quotes with his fingers.

I pressed my lips together to hold back my smile. His pain rolled off him in thick, slow waves. I could feel it from the other side of the table, and it took my breath away.

“I'm sorry.” I swallowed.

“I couldn't take it tonight. The looks, the smiles…so I didn't go home when I saw Ashley's mom on my front stoop, bottle of wine and chocolate cake box from the bakery in hand. Saw you and stopped before I knew what I was doing.”

“I'm glad you did.” I kept talking, wishing I could shut up, but my brain didn't get the message in time. “Next time get the cake before you come, though.”

He snorted. I thought it might be a laugh, or almost one. Or maybe he thought I was ridiculous for thinking he was ever going to stop by again.

I was a distraction. One he clearly needed, but that didn't mean he was going to become a regular at my dinner table.

“Yeah. I bet it was good. Kate's Kakes are amazing.”

He looked at me then and his lips twitched. Slowly they pulled into a small, sad smile.

It still took my breath away. I had always thought Aidan was incredibly handsome. He wasn't just attractive, but he carried himself in a confident way without seeming cocky. He simply knew who he was, worked hard to be a good man, and it showed in everything he did and said. I'd harbored a crush on him for years and my entire circle of friends knew it.

Not that I was going to be telling any of them about this visit. If Aidan had stopped by my house to see me, I figured it meant he didn't want to spend time with his own friends or go see Declan at work.

Yeah, I was okay with being his distraction.

I returned his smile, and then jumped when his chair scraped against my cement patio. “I should go.”

He reached for his plate, but my hand moved quickly, covering his, stilling him.

Oh…he was so warm. My palm burned from the touch and I pulled my hand back, but it was too late. A fiery, tingly sensation shot up my arm and straight to my lower stomach.

“I'll do it,” I said.

He arched an eyebrow, stared at his hand and then at my eyes. I looked down to my own plate before he saw the obvious attraction and desire burning in my eyes and on my cheeks.

This wasn't the time for an attraction. I knew it.

“I want to help.”

So did I. Unfortunately, I had no idea how to help this sad, lonely man. Nothing I'd ever experienced, nothing I'd ever lost, compared at all to the magnitude of his grief.

I stood up, forcing away the inappropriate feelings coursing through my veins, and grabbed his plate before he could. “You cooked, I clean. It's a rule.”

I turned and headed inside, only to hear him quietly mutter, “I've never been much of a rule follower.”

Aidan stayed out on the patio, staring off into the now-setting sun while I quickly brought everything back inside. When I carried in the last of the dishes and condiment bottles, he followed me, closing the sliding door behind him.

I stopped at the kitchen island, bracing myself against it when I felt him walk up next to me.

He set his beer on the counter before stepping back.

I stared at the speckled pattern in my granite as if I was seeing it for the first time. I couldn't move, and I couldn't look at him. Who knew what he'd see in my expression?

The last thing I wanted was for him to see me as what he'd called a vulture.

I just wanted to help.

I felt a bond because of what I saw, and who he was. We had mutual friends—it was okay for us to spend time together.

It was completely innocent.

Or entirely inappropriate.

I hadn't decided.

When I finally pushed off the counter and turned so I could say goodbye to Aidan, he was standing a few feet from me. His hands were shoved into the front pockets of his jeans and he was staring at me—watching me intently. His lips were twisted into an indecipherable expression and a deep line formed between his wrinkled brows.

Whatever he was thinking while he looked at me disappeared when he looked away and toward my front door.

I followed him as he started walking in that direction.

“You working in the yard tomorrow?”

“Um. Yeah, I've got three tons of mulch being delivered.”

He glanced at me over his shoulder, one hand wrapped around my front doorknob, the other now holding his key chain.

Looking down, he spun the keys around his fingers before grasping them in his fist.

He nodded once and opened the door. “Okay.”

I frowned at the strange reply. “Thanks again for all your help tonight.”

“It was fun.”

He sounded like it'd been anything but fun, but I didn't take offense to it. I didn't even have time to say goodbye before he hurried down my front walk like he couldn't wait to get away from me, climbed into his truck, and peeled out of my driveway.

Long after his lights had disappeared around the corner and up the hill, I was still standing in the doorway, trying to figure out what had just happened.

It took me almost an hour to get ready to work in my yard Saturday morning.

Then I scolded myself in the mirror, and removed all the makeup I had put on.

To haul mulch.

The idiot girl inside me thought…maybe hoped…Aidan would stop by. The way he'd left the night before made it seem as if he'd been thinking about it. And that idiot girl inside me started screaming, “Look pretty! Look pretty!”

Then I smacked her upside the head and told her to shut up, washed my face, and threw my freshly washed hair into a bun before I could do something stupid like blow-dry and straighten it.

“You're working in your yard all day,” I reminded myself with a scowl.

I had washed off all my eye makeup, but my light blue eyes looked strange. Brighter than normal. Hopeful. Maybe slightly horny. I shook my head at myself.

“You're a moron.”

I turned and left the bathroom, dressed in cut-off yoga capri pants and the ugliest, most oversized shirt I could find.

Because I was not trying to look good for the man I barely knew, who had just lost his son.

It wasn't like I was going to see him anyway.

I was in the middle of loading up my second wheelbarrow of mulch when I heard the familiar rumble of a large truck pull up to my curb. My spine stiffened and the shovel in my hand froze midscoop.

Slowly, I forced my limbs to remember how to work and dumped the mulch into the wheelbarrow as I heard the door open and close. There was a loud clanking sound that rang in my ears but I still didn't look.

I had no idea what to do or say, so I continued shoveling mulch until a shadow fell over the large pile.

I set the shovel against the massive mulch pile and looked up.

Aidan was in front of me, his own shovel in hand, biting the inside of his bottom lip.

He looked at me with some sort of question in his eyes but he didn't say anything.

I didn't, either. I nodded once, letting him know he was welcome to help if he wanted, since that was apparently what he came for. Then I gripped the handles on the wheelbarrow, moving it to where I needed to dump it.

When I returned to the mulch pile, Aidan was still standing in the same place, shovel ready, and he began scooping the mulch as soon as I let go of the wheelbarrow.

He seemed to need this. I quietly reminded myself that he was probably in a place similar to Shane when he visited me at lunch. He didn't want to be alone. Didn't want to be in a quiet place that reminded him of his loss.

I didn't want to add to his pain, and I didn't know how to take it away, but I could give him my company. Like I did with Shane, I let Aidan do what he needed to do.

All the while, I fought off a smile, because even in silence, I liked his company.

Probably too much, but for me, it was nice not to be alone anymore, either.

We worked all morning. By the time lunchtime hit, my back was aching and my knees and thighs burned from the hard work. As I took a step back to survey our progress, I rubbed the sweat off my forehead and smiled.

At some point, without any conversation, Aidan and I fell into a system where I transplanted the shrubs and spread the mulch while Aidan scooped it up and dumped it in piles around the landscaped area.

“Looks good.”

His voice surprised me and I jumped.

I nodded and my hands fell to my hips. “It does. Thanks for your help.”

I looked to my left where Aidan stood with his hand braced on top of the shovel, almost leaning against it as if the thin wood handle could actually support his muscular frame. He seemed lost as he stared at the newly planted evergreen shrubs and mums I planted for a splash of color.

The mulch was bright and clean and the front of my house looked absolutely beautiful. I sighed, trying to figure out what else to say, when a car pulled into my driveway. It had a sign on the top with a picture of a pizza and the number for delivery. I shot Aidan a confused look. He shrugged.

“Called last time I went in to the restroom. Thought you'd be hungry when we were done here.”

“That was…” Amazing…thoughtful…For some reason, the words lodged in my throat. “Nice. Thank you.”

He looked at the delivery boy getting out of the car carrying three large boxes and my eyes widened. Aidan began walking away from me, hand reaching to his back pocket, and said, “I don't have to stay.”

I smiled even though he couldn't see me. “Pretty sure I can't eat all that.”

When the kid was paid and hopped back into his car, I met Aidan at the front door, hiding my smile.

“In the backyard again?” I asked, opening the door. I moved to the side, letting Aidan walk through, and he headed immediately to the kitchen at the back, dropping the pizza boxes onto the island like he'd been in my house a thousand times and was completely comfortable in it.

A strange flutter flickered through my chest.

“I need to get cleaned up first.” I turned to head down the hall to my room and bathroom, intent on scrubbing the dirt off me, when Aidan's voice made me stop.

“Don't…” I turned around to see him staring at me. His eyes dropped to my chest quickly before meeting my eyes again. “Please.”

I swallowed, fighting back the blush that was creeping up my neck and failing. Miserably. My entire body felt like it had just gotten set on fire with embarrassment.

Lifting my hands, I grinned, but my lips were trembling as I headed toward the half bath off the kitchen. “I meant scrub the dirt off my hands.”