His Shadowed Heart ((Books We Love Regency Romance)) (3 page)

She laid a pleading hand on his arm. “I will give him up, Richard. I swear I love only you.”

He gave her an almost pitying look and removed his arm from her clasp. “There is absolutely no need for histrionics and the laying down of oaths that are so blatantly untrue. Love has played no part in our arrangement and it has now run its course. It is time we both looked in other directions. You must know I tire of you equally as you tire of me!”

“I don’t tire of you, Richard,” she cried. “I have been foolish and allowed myself to be swayed. Won’t you forgive me? Please say that you forgive me.” She ran to him and attempted to wind her arms about his neck, but he contemptuously removed them. “Will you not allow me this one night,” she pleaded, hoping that passion would plead her cause. “This one last night, so that I may prove my love?”

His look was one of scorn. “Madam, you take me for a bigger fool than I am.”

Abruptly leaving the room, he strode from the house, taking the footman waiting in the hallway quite by surprise. Standing once more in the evening air, he paused briefly to calm his agitation before striking out in the direction of his home.

*****

Entering the hallway to Waverly House, the earl went immediately to the library and closed its heavy door securely behind him. Pouring himself a glass of brandy, he threw himself into the large leather chair by the hearth and slowly raised his eyes to the portrait that hung above the mantle. A vision of dark classical beauty gazed down upon him and he raised his glass in a silent salute.

Rising briefly, he adjusted the candelabra so that its soft glow highlighted the delicate features before returning to his seat to continue his contemplation.

“Now you see what power you continue to wield over me, Elizabeth,” he whispered, his eyes never leaving the beautiful face above him. “I cannot continue in this way. Am I forever to fall prey to this loneliness, this emptiness that threatens to overcome me? Is it not time, for Julia’s sake, for me to recommence my life? The child has needs that only a mother can supply. I am no substitute for a feminine influence. For myself … I would be content with a companion, someone with whom I could at least share part of my life. Your memory is with me still and I dare not look for love. I cannot lay myself open to such emotions again. Their consequences affect me so. That is how thorough remains your influence over me!”

A clock chiming the hour roused him from his reverie and laying aside his glass, he rose and slowly made his way to his apartment, in the process becoming firm in his resolve. Thinking,
I must have done with this living in the past. If I am to resume any kind of life, I must move forward, though exactly how I know not.

Chapter
Two

The strains of the orchestra could be heard echoing in the street when the earl’s coach drove up to Lord Marchant’s home on the evening of the ball. Braving the crowd of onlookers who had congregated on the pavement to witness the aristocracy arriving for such a notable event, the earl ushered his party into the brightly lit hallway. They were immediately shown to the ballroom on the second floor where Lady Diana stood at her husband’s side to receive their guests.

“I am delighted you were able to come,” Lady Diana said, smiling and extending her hand. “My dear Richard, it seems a positive age since we saw you at such an event. We had quite given up on you.”

The earl smiled, taking her hand to his lips. “As you see, Diana, I am not the recluse you thought me, though I will allow it has been some time since I attended such a function. First the christening and now this, my life becomes a veritable social whirl.”

She tapped his wrist playfully with her fan. “Well I for one am delighted you chose to attend and shall expect you to stand up with me. It will be quite like old times! Now away with you, you will find partners enough
, I assure you. I have no doubt that your presence will excite a great deal of interest amongst the ladies.

He cast his hostess a look of disbelief and moved away to join his sister and her husband who were already making their way into the ballroom. His presence did indeed cause some comment as several pairs of eyes turned to survey his entrance and whispered remarks were made.

The ballroom was lit by a myriad of candles, bringing to life the ball gowns of many jewel-like colors. Amongst the gentlemen, it was seen that there were several scarlet dress coats of Marchant’s brigade along with coats from other regiments. Half of London’s society had graced this event, one of the first balls of the season, and everyone was eager to see and to be seen.

News that the Earl of Waverly attended soon spread through the ranks and as they approached the entrance to the supper rooms, it was seen that a lady of considerable fashion broke away from her group and started toward them. However, one look from the earl halted her directly as he nodded coldly in her direction and turned away. Lady Christina, believing herself to be the victim of his arrogance, retraced her steps, her cheeks flaming with indignation. It was insupportable to be so publicly slighted and only served to increase her resentment.

Lord Massey, a tall angular nobleman, who was also of the group, seeing the look that passed between the two, hastened to Her Ladyship’s side and they moved away to the other side of the ballroom where they appeared deep in conversation.

“My dear Waverly, ’tis exceedingly good to see you,” cried a small dandy, detaching himself from his fellows and advancing hurriedly toward the party.

Pausing briefly, he raised his quizzing glass and ran his eye over the earl. “I do swear you are looking in positive good health.”

“My apologies if I seem too robust for your liking, Gerald,” the earl replied, an undeniable mocking tone to his voice. He watched with ill-concealed dislike as his cousin and heir let fall his quizzing glass on its length of black ribbon and advanced mincingly toward him. The earl smiled without humor. “I would not be too downhearted
, cousin. I may yet oblige you by breaking my neck in the hunting field or some such. Considering all, I think that would be your best hope, as my health remains as always.”

A flush suffusing his pinched features, Mr. Gerald Dent tittered nervously. “It’s as well that I take no mind to your repartee, my lord. Indeed, I am no toady and I certainly don’t wish you ill as you suspect. I am but solicitous of your health.”

“As are your creditors, Gerald. It will be interesting to see to what degree you find it necessary to run up your debts relying on your accession to the title.”

“You serve me a great injustice, my lord. It is not my fault that I am encouraged to lay pledges in accordance to my expectations.”

“Of course it is not, how thoughtless of me to suspect you of such foolishness. Perhaps it is the fact that several of your creditors find the need to send their bills directly to me for payment, which brings the matter to mind. They realize the futility of relying on your intentions.”

Mr. Dent had the grace to appear uncomfortable, his whole countenance turning an unhealthy shade of puce. “I assure you, I will repay every penny you find it necessary to expend on my behalf. Indeed, every farthing will be returned.”

The earl gave a bark of mirthless laughter, “Will that be before or after my demise, Gerald?”

As Dent would have given a spluttered reply, the earl caught sight of Miss Northam sitting quietly in a windowed alcove. She appeared to wish to remain unnoticed by the throng of guests, appearing most uncomfortable amongst such a press.

Paying no mind to his cousin’s would-be reply, he turned and, making a brief bow to his companions, excused himself. To Victoria’s open astonishment, he crossed the room in the young lady’s direction.

It had not been her wish to be present at the ball, but her cousin had insisted that she attend. It was then that, willing the hours to pass so that she may retire, she had sought the seclusion the alcove provided.

Just as he approached Miss Northam, the orchestra struck the chords for the next dance, and stopping directly in front of her, he made his bow. “My dear Miss Northam, do you think we may attempt the waltz?” he asked, closely watching her reaction.

She raised startled eyes to his face. Her thoughts being elsewhere, she had not been aware of his approach, “Sir, I cannot, I do not…
.” she stammered, in her confusion unable to find the right words. She remembered his coolness at their last meeting and wished not to have it repeated.

“Oh, I believe the waltz to be hailed as most respectable now,” he said, not knowing the cause of her reluctance. “They even allow it at Almack’s. Indeed, it becomes quite the rage amongst society.” Without waiting for her answer, he took her hand from her lap and raised her to her feet. “Come, I will not allow you to remain in your corner. I know your intention, and it will not do. Indeed, I have much the same desire myself, but we will not be beaten.”

Astounded at being the recipient of his sudden attention, Miss Northam, knowing it would appear most impolite to refuse, allowed herself to be led onto the floor, thoroughly perplexed as to why the earl should seek her out.

Lightly encircling her waist, he took her hand in his clasp and following the beat of the music, they joined other like-minded couples daring enough to attempt this latest innovation.

For the first few turns of the room, it was necessary to mind her steps, but as she became familiar with the movements, Miss Northam became aware of His Lordship’s regard and raising her eyes to meet his, she gave a shy enquiring smile.

“My dear Miss Northam,” he said, his eyes smiling in response. “It is totally unnecessary for you to concentrate so studiously on your feet, you dance delightfully.”

She blushed and dropped her gaze. “It is exceedingly civil of you to say so, sir.”

“Civil?” he replied, chuckling, “I have been called many things, my dear, but rarely have I been called civil.” Seeing that she still appeared shy of him he continued. “Isn’t this more agreeable than hiding away in your corner? Ah, yes, I know, you were hoping to avoid notice.”

“It is certainly agreeable, my lord,” she replied, at last appearing to relax. “Although I must own that I am not much used to dancing. As to hiding away, I am not much used to company either and to be thrust into the midst of society is somewhat unnerving.”

He felt a rush of sympathy for her situation. “They should not have left you to your own devices. To be abandoned amidst this crush would unnerve anyone possessed with any sensibility.”

His concentration was claimed briefly by the necessity to guide his partner between two enthusiastic couples but, once their way was clear, he returned his attention to her, inclining his head so that he was not obliged to raise his voice above the orchestra. “I believe I have my apologies to make, Miss Northam. At our last meeting, I appeared churlish and it was excessively unkind of me. I hope that you will grant me the opportunity to begin anew?”

Blushing slightly beneath his continued scrutiny she smiled hesitantly
. “Of a certainty, sir, but I assure you there is no need to offer your apologies.” Dipping her gaze once more, she effectively brought a conclusion to the subject and instead, gave herself up to the pleasure of the dance, oblivious that she was the object of a number of envious stares from other young ladies in the company. It was remarked upon by several mammas that the elusive Waverly appeared to be finally setting up a flirt and they unhesitatingly expressed their surprise at his choice, especially considering the more suitable partners he could have chosen.

When the music ceased, he retained his hold on Caroline’s hand and passed it through the crook of his arm. Smiling, he inclined his head toward her. “Perhaps you would grant us your company at supper Miss Northam? I will not allow you to scurry back to your corner and my sister would be delighted to renew your acquaintance.”

Seeing a look of uncertainty flit across her countenance he quickly added, “As I am to be allowed the chance to make amends, it would be unkind of you to refuse.”

“Then I will not, sir. If you think
Her Ladyship would not disapprove, I too would have pleasure in renewing our acquaintance.

Without hesitation, Lady Victoria welcomed Miss Northam into their group and as the evening progressed some of her shyness disappeared. She had scarcely returned from being led out by Lord Stanton when Mr. Dent, not wishing to be thought lacking in his attentions, approached with the request that she should stand up with him for the cotillion.

“I do believe the child would take if she was introduced into society,” Lady Victoria confided to her brother, watching their protégée’s progress with an indulgent eye. “She has a freshness about her.”

The earl also studied the couple’s progress through the set. “She would need to overcome her shyness, though she may still feel herself shadowed by the circumstances of her father’s death. Society does not forget these matters so easily.”

Victoria made a sound of exasperation. “It is insupportable that she should be forced to bear the consequences of his actions. She is a sweet girl and perhaps if society sees that I acknowledge her, they will be more charitable.”

The earl raised a sardonic brow. “I wouldn’t place too much reliance on their charity. Although your approval can only add to her consequence, when it has a mind to, society can prove very cruel. The tabbies are reluctant to relinquish so noteworthy a scandal as a suicide, and if the child’s feelings are trampled in the process, so much the better. It only adds to their enjoyment. They are unrelenting in their condemnation of those less fortunate than themselves.”