Read His One Desire Online

Authors: Kate Grey

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His One Desire (7 page)

BOOK: His One Desire
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“You have one more minute,” she told him. She slid off the
bed and pulled on her sweatpants, sliding her phone into her pocket before
walking unsteadily towards his door.

She paused there for a minute, her back to him. Then she
turned the knob, slipped out the door, and was gone.

 

Chapter Five

All the next day, Kali felt Luke’s gaze on her. It was heavy
and burning, like a brand.

Like a promise.

She’d woken up feeling the way you do after tying one on the
night before. When you have to confront the fact that you behaved like a
crazed, drunken fool.

Except that she hadn’t been drunk.

Only crazy. And foolish.

What the hell had she been thinking? She hadn’t turned the
tables at all. She felt more vulnerable to Luke now, not less. She’d exposed
herself to him—literally—and in the cold light of day she realized how easily
he could use that against her.

She’d dreaded the first moment of seeing him again. The
knowing look that would be in his eyes, the cocky grin that would make her
shrivel up inside. Her heart tightened in her chest when she saw him downstairs
at the breakfast buffet, surrounded by a small crowd of eager fans.

Last night’s dinner had been in a private dining room, and
the network people had treated Luke like a professional. There’d been no
gushing, no autograph seeking, no requests for photos. This morning, though, he
was at the mercy of his fame, and she watched out of the corner of her eye as
he handled the situation, friendly with everyone as he loaded his plate and
then excusing himself politely.

His eyes met hers as he emerged from the knot of people, and
he stopped short. For a moment they stared at each other, and heat rose in her
cheeks until she felt almost feverish.

She wasn’t sure how long they might have stayed like that if
Tom, who was sitting next to her, hadn’t called out to Luke and waved him over.

Her gaze dropped to her plate as Luke took the chair across
from hers, and she played with her food as he and Tom chatted about the merits of
high protein diets. She had no reason to think he was looking at her, but
somehow she knew that he was.

After a few minutes Tom started a conversation with someone
at the next table, and she darted a glance at Luke.

Oh, God—he
was
looking at her.

She dropped her eyes immediately, but it was too late. She
felt the weight of his gaze, fierce and intent, and darts of awareness made her
stomach muscles tighten until she had to press a hand to her belly to calm
herself down.

* * *

He sat in on her first meeting of the day, where she and
other show creators were discussing their latest projects. She was so
distracted by his presence, by the way the nape of her neck prickled when she
felt his eyes on her, that she rattled through the first part of her presentation
without really focusing on what she was saying.

“…and so one of the functions of the ghosts that haunt our
main characters is to represent the choices they face. Past and present. Head
and heart. Dreams and reality. But the ghosts aren’t only foils for the living.
I want them…some of them, anyway…to have real emotional arcs of their own. I
want the show to touch on the spiritual aspect of ghosts—the question of the
afterlife, and what it means to move on after death. I want there to be moments
of real mystery, moments when the characters truly feel haunted. I want there
to be a touch of the numinous, especially when we least expect it. I want there
to be romance and sex and pathos. And of course, I want it to be funny,” she
added with a smile.

This drew a chuckle of appreciation from her colleagues. She
had a reputation for being able to find the humor in any scene. According to
company legend, the network CFO—who was widely believed never to have smiled at
his own children—had actually laughed out loud during one of the episodes she’d
written for
Roommates
.

Eric Felson, the guy she’d tapped to be her story editor,
raised his hand. “It sounds like a fantastic show, Kali. I’m looking forward to
working on it. I’m curious, though—you’re targeting a wide audience, adults as
well as teens. So why are three of your main characters high school students?”

She answered automatically, having addressed this question
before. “Adolescence is an intense time in our lives, a time that all adults
can relate to. Emotions are powerful and dramatic, and our identities are
shaped in ways it can be hard to escape later in life. Studies have shown that
even decades later, people can still be defined by the way they saw themselves
in high school…and by the way other people saw them. High school is the perfect
setting for some of the themes we’re exploring. The difficulty we face letting
go of the past, and—” she paused. As the words she’d just spoken echoed in her
head she became intensely aware of Luke, who was sitting near the back of the
room.

It took her a moment to recover the thread of what she was
saying.

He didn’t talk during the meeting, or afterwards, when
everyone stood around chatting and waiting for lunch to begin. But Kali still
felt his eyes on her, his gaze prickling her skin. She was filled with
nervousness and a strange kind of exhilaration.

She tried to shake it off for the afternoon meetings, when
individual shows had breakout sessions. Her first was with the team working on
Ghosts
,
and when everyone was seated at the oblong table she felt relaxed and happy for
the first time all day. She was excited to talk about their plans for the show.

Then Luke Tanner stuck his head in the room.

“Hey, everybody. Do you mind if I sit in?”

“Not at all.” “Of course not!” “Come in!”

Kali grit her teeth as Luke took a seat, his posture easy
and relaxed. She, on the other hand, was tight as a drum now that he was here,
her heart beating uncomfortably fast.

Maria Cole, her script supervisor, leaned across the table
towards Luke. “I probably shouldn’t ask this, but we’re all a little curious.
There’ve been rumors flying around that you’re going to be joining our cast. I
know I’m not the only one wondering if the rumors are true.”

There was a murmur of assent around the table, and everyone
turned eagerly to Luke, waiting to hear what he said. He glanced at her with
one eyebrow raised, but she just shrugged her shoulders.

You’re on your own, buddy.

Luke paused for a moment. “The truth is, I’m considering
several different projects right now. I have to admit, though, that nothing
comes close to
Ghosts
when it comes to creative storylines, rich
characters, and original vision.”

“But of course there are other factors to consider,” Kali
said drily. “Like money, for instance.”

That earned her a few startled glances from some of the
people in the room, but Luke just smiled. “Money’s important, sure. I’d be
lying if I said it wasn’t. But it just so happens that I have plenty of money
at the moment, while I don’t have a lot of opportunities to work with a writing
and directing team like this one. Of course,” he went on, “I don’t expect to be
an automatic pick just because I’m a big name. In fact, I have it on good
authority that you didn’t want to work with well-known actors.”

He grinned at her, looking suddenly boyish as a lock of dark
blond hair fell across his forehead. Kali’s nails dug into her palms as she
felt an unexpected desire to brush it back.

“So I know I’ll have to audition just like everybody else. In
fact, I was wondering if I could have a mini-audition right now.”

“What do you mean?” Maria asked.

Luke reached for the inside pocket of his leather jacket and
pulled out a sheaf of papers. “Kali handed out copies of her scripts this
morning, and I had a chance to go through them at lunch. I was hoping I could
read for the character I’m interested in.”

“You mean Derek?” Kali asked. She’d been assuming all along
that that was the character Luke wanted to play—or was pretending to want to
play.

Derek Knight was a twenty-seven-year-old combat veteran
who’d come back from Afghanistan with PTSD. He was a firefighter now, trying
hard to conceal his condition, and he lived with his older brother in a house
they would discover to be haunted. He was the character she and Tom had
identified as the heartthrob on the show, the alpha male with a vulnerable side
who would have women and girls swooning over him every week.

Luke shook his head. “Not Derek. James.”

Kali stared at him. James Harding wasn’t even a main character
in the first season, although she had some ideas for his arc next year,
assuming the network stuck with them that long. He was also a ghost.

She frowned. “James isn’t a very showy character. He’s the
ghost of a young English teacher who falls in love with Alicia. He spends most
of the first season pining for her.”

“I know. But I like him. And you’ve given him a couple of
amazing speeches, especially in later episodes. I bet you’ve got some cool
stuff planned for him in the second season. Don’t you?”

“Well…yes,” she conceded. “But I just don’t see you as
James. He’s in the background a lot of the time, overlooked by everyone—”

“Especially Alicia.”

She sensed a trap, but since she didn’t know what it was,
she didn’t know how to avoid it.

“Yes, especially Alicia. What’s your point?”

“Being overlooked by the woman you love is a universal
experience, something every guy can relate to. We’ve all experienced rejection
at some point in our lives. Even me,” he added with a grin. That got a laugh
from most of the people in the room, but Kali flushed.

“Very funny. I’m just saying that casting you as James would
be—”

“Going against type?”

“Well, yes.”

“What was it you said this morning? That we can still be
defined by whatever ‘type’ we were in high school, even years later? Sometimes
going against type is the most powerful act of rebellion we have.” He settled
back in his chair. “Let’s take you, for instance. What would you all say,” he
asked, glancing around the room, “if I told you that Kali came by my room last night
to get naked and naughty?”

Good-natured laughter erupted, and her cheeks flamed as she
leveled a glare at Luke that should have vaporized him.

He grinned at her unrepentantly. “That would be going
against type for you, right? But it might be good for you. I sure as hell know
it would be good for me.”

She took a deep breath and tried to reclaim control of the
situation. “Fine, whatever. Go ahead and read for James. Do you need a scene
partner?”

He shook his head. “No, the speech I have in mind is a monologue—the
one where he first tells Alicia how he feels about her. Just to give you a
sense of how I might do in the role.”

She’d expected him to make an introductory speech, give them
some kind of lead in. But he just looked down at the script, flipped to the
page he was looking for, and started to read. His voice was quiet, thoughtful,
almost matter-of-fact.

“I died more than fifty years ago. Even back then, I thought
the problem with our society was that we were too damn busy. And it’s a
thousand times worse now. People run around like ants, and why? For what?

“Do you want to know the one advantage to being a ghost?
Time. I have time to read, time to watch sunsets. Time to float through walls,
which is a highly underrated activity. Time to think. Time to pay attention.
And in all those years, I’ve only found one person I thought was worth paying
attention to. That’s you, Alicia.

“I watch you. Some days I watch you for hours. I know I
probably shouldn’t, but I can’t seem to help myself. You have this stillness
about you when you’re sitting and thinking, a stillness I hardly ever see in
the living.

“When you’re reading a book you love, your emotions show on
your face. That happens when you’re playing the piano, too, or walking by
yourself. You’re much more guarded when you’re with people. When you were
younger, before you learned how to protect yourself, you said what you thought
and spoke from your heart—and sometimes people laughed at you. It hurt, and so
you don’t do that anymore.

“I know you’re in love with Max, and it kills me. Of course
I understand why. He’s confident, he’s outgoing, he always knows what to say in
social situations. You’re drawn to him because things that are hard for you are
easy for him.

“But he’ll never look into your heart. If you end up dating,
you’ll never be more than a sweet, pretty girl to him. If you end up married,
you’ll be the sweet, pretty girl he married. He’ll never look any further.
He’ll never know you to the roots of your soul. He’ll never see the vistas in
your mind, the visions that fill your consciousness until the only outlet is
your piano or your journal or your dreams.

“I see all of that. I see it, and it makes me want you like
I’ve never wanted anything. I ache for you. I hunger for you. When I’m near
you, I feel alive again.

“You know that book you loved when you were little? The
Velveteen Rabbit? Sometimes you’ll still pull it off the shelf and read it,
holding it carefully because it’s so old and worn. I used to think it was a
silly story. Childish and sentimental. But that was before I had ever loved
someone the way I love you. Before I knew that love does make us real.

“Loving you is changing me, Alicia. I don’t know yet what
I’m becoming, but I feel myself letting go of what I was. I don’t know if I
have a place in this world, or in your life. All I ask is that you let me haunt
you once in a while.”

Luke finished reading, and laid the script down on the
table. For a minute no one said a word.

Kali’s skin prickled with goose bumps. She wrapped her arms
around her waist, hugging herself, and at the slight movement Luke turned his
head and looked at her.

BOOK: His One Desire
4.66Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

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