His Last Chance at Redemption (13 page)

His eyebrow climbed higher. ‘You wear a necklace to keep a connection with a man who deserted you and you need to ask that?’

Lexi’s hand rose to her neck. ‘I just … I never …’

‘You never wanted to accept that he chose the other family?’

Her hand dropped and she pushed off the lounger and walked to the railing, gripping it firmly and leaning slightly forward as she gazed down at the sea. ‘You’re very astute.’

Leo didn’t respond. He could see that she was deep in thought and he was struggling with his own desire to go to her. Comfort her. Then she glanced back over her shoulder and the delicate muscles around her shoulder blades shifted alluringly.

‘Children are innocent. They don’t ask to be born. They deserve proper care. And …’ she paused and he watched her throat work as she swallowed ‘… I guess I always hoped he’d come back. I hated that his selfishness caused my mother to have to work two jobs, because that was hard on us all.’ She paused. ‘I don’t know why I still wear the necklace.’

‘So you became a childcare worker to provide care for kids whose parents have to go to work?’

She looked surprised, as if she hadn’t made that connection before. But it explained why she was so keen for him to have a relationship with Ty and why she was so wary of him. A wariness she was right to feel.

‘What’s your relationship with your father like now?’ he asked softly.

‘We don’t have one.’ Her eyes connected earnestly with his. ‘It’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. Now is the time to
get to know Ty. I haven’t seen my father in ten years and Joe even longer than that.’

Leo looked away as she came to sit back down opposite him. He had more than just Amanda’s subterfuge keeping him away from Ty.

‘You should be thankful he left, angel. Sometimes a man who is forced to marry because he gets a woman pregnant makes everyone’s life hell.’

She looked at him curiously. ‘That sounds like you’re speaking from experience.’

Leo didn’t know if it was the lateness of the hour, the shock of Amanda’s defection or Lexi Somers soft compassion but he found himself wanting to tell her things he’d never told another living soul.

He sighed. Maybe if he did tell her some of it she would understand why Ty was better off without him. ‘My father married my mother because she was pregnant with me and he spent the first ten years of my life making it a living hell.’

Lexi looked at the taut lines of Leo’s neck and knew he was speaking the truth, but it was a long way from what she’d read about him. ‘I thought you had a happy childhood?’

‘Ah, my bio. Nice story, isn’t it.’

‘What’s the real story?’ she asked quietly.

‘Why do you want to know? Hoping to earn a few extra dollars by selling an exposé?’

‘Of course not. I just want to help.’

‘Like I said. You have too many clothes on for that. Not that I don’t love that dress. You know what it makes me want to do?’ He swung his legs to the side and twisted in his seat so that he was facing her, his knees wide, his feet firmly planted either side of her legs. ‘It makes me want to grab those two triangles of fabric barely covering your gorgeous breasts and rip it straight down the middle. Does that shock you, little
Lexi?’ He paused and all Lexi could hear was the sound of her own heart beating too fast. ‘Or excite you?’

She knew he was trying to distract her. That he didn’t want to talk about his life story. She also knew that she wanted him to tell her. She wanted to know him. Know the real Leo Aleksandrov. As if seeking to put distance between them, he moved abruptly to stand at the railing, staring off into the balmy distance.

Lexi moistened her lips before asking, ‘What’s the real story, Leo?’

He turned his head and looked down at her. ‘Like horror stories do you?’ His voice was a low growl and Lexi sensed the pain he was trying desperately to hold at bay.

He had the look of a lost child about him and Lexi was reminded of Ty the first time she had met him, mistrust stamped all over his beautiful face. But she wouldn’t push Leo any further. It would be beyond arrogant of her to assume that just because she found it better to talk through her issues, he would too.

He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck and for a minute she didn’t think he was going to say anything. Then he flopped back down on the chair and stared at the starry sky. ‘I grew up in the Tundra—a hellhole of a place where nothing grows and it’s so bitterly cold in winter you feel like your bones are freezing. My father was a miner with Mafioso connections and my mother was a shop girl who let love turn her blind. When my father drank he turned violent and my mother bore the brunt of his loss of control. At times I tried to stop him but I could never protect her from his brute strength.’

‘How could you—you were just a child?’ she cried.

‘No child wants to see their mother hurt. Of course every time I tried to help he thought it was a great joke and tried to challenge me. Taunted me until I gave in.’

Lexi felt sick and it took a great deal of effort to control the emotion in her voice. ‘How old were you when this started?’

‘Six, seven. I don’t remember.’ He gave a telling shrug.

He remembered all right. Too well, Lexi guessed.

‘I do remember his favourite modus operandi was a sly backhand just when you thought the jibes and beltings had finished.’

Lexi swallowed and made an inarticulate sound of distress. ‘Do you still see him?’ she asked, her breathing ragged and uneven where his was almost meditatively calm.

‘No.’ His eyes when they fixed on hers were empty. ‘He died in prison.’

‘Was that when you were ten?’

He looked at her warily.

‘You said the first ten years were awful. I just wondered if that was when your father went to jail.’

‘Got a sharp brain, haven’t you, angel?’

‘So … things got better after that?’

‘Things did get better. My father went to prison and I went to live with my uncle.’

‘Where was your mother?’

‘She couldn’t look after me. I was too wild. Used to get into fights all the time. Very bad news.’

Lexi was still trying to comprehend that his mother had sent him away when she noticed that his tone had darkened. ‘Your mother sent you away?’

‘Oh, Lexi, with the bleeding heart. Don’t be so outraged.’ He touched her face briefly and then stood up and paced across the balcony, unable to keep still. ‘She had her reasons and it was the best decision she could have made. My uncle wasn’t at all like my father. He was gruff and proud, but he controlled his emotions. Until I came to stay, he had lived his adult life alone. He taught me how to contain my rage.’

Lexi wondered if Leo realised that he had made himself over in his uncle’s image. A man facing the world alone. Her heart went out to him. ‘Do you still see him?’

‘He died. A work-related accident.’

‘On a building site,’ Lexi guessed.

‘
Da
. And now you know.’ He spread his arms wide. ‘All the dirty details of who I really am and why I can’t be a father to Ty.’

‘No—’ Lexi shook her head ‘—I don’t know that at all.’

He huffed out a laugh. ‘Then you’re not as smart as I thought you were. I’m not a good bet, Lexi. I can’t be responsible for Ty.’

Was that it? Was that why he was so determined that Ty was better off without him? Not because he was afraid of losing his lifestyle, but because he was afraid of becoming his father. Afraid of hurting those who relied on him.

‘Leo, that’s fear talking. It’s not who you are,’ she said, catching her breath at his fierce expression as he swung around to face her again.

‘Haven’t you heard anything I’ve said? I’m a violent man.’

‘You think you’d hurt Ty?’ Lexi shook her head. ‘I don’t.’

‘My father couldn’t help it. Who’s to say I’ll be any different?’

‘Your father
could
help it. He
chose
not to.’

Lexi’s heart went out to Leo trapped as a young child in a world with such a damaged adult, but she forced herself to focus on what still needed to be said.

‘Leo, I don’t know who your parents were but I’d say they were two people who shouldn’t have been together. They brought out the worst in each other and maybe didn’t have the maturity to see the error of their ways. But whatever their story is—it doesn’t have to be yours.’

‘It doesn’t matter, Lexi. I’m empty inside. I have nothing to give.’

Lexi frowned. ‘You think you can’t love?’ How much this man had suffered!

‘Not think. I don’t.’

‘What about your uncle?’

‘Yes, maybe. I cared for him. But …’ His voice trailed away
and he rubbed the back of his neck. ‘There’s no point talking about this.’

‘Because it hurts too much?’

‘Because I am what I am.’

Leo gripped the railing more tightly and Lexi went to him and laid her hand on his arm. ‘Spend time with Ty. Just the two of you. I haven’t seen you take any time off since we got here.’

‘No.’ He moved his hand out from under hers and flopped down on the sun lounger, his hands dangling between his wide-spread knees.

Lexi could feel him closing off and she didn’t know what else to say to him. ‘He needs you, Leo.’

‘He needs a decent father.’

Lexi placed her hands on her hips, determined to get through to him on this point. ‘Yes. You. And you need him.’

He shook his head slowly and the look in his eyes as they swept over her changed, became heated. ‘What I need is for you to go to bed.’

‘I—’

He shook his head, his eyes becoming guarded. ‘No more. There’s only so much happy reminiscing a man can take. Especially when the woman he’s reminiscing with is only half dressed.’ His lips twisted into a wry smile.

‘I’m not half dressed.’

‘Tell me you’re wearing a bra beneath that dress.’

‘Well, no, but—’

‘Like I said. Half dressed.’

She sensed the air thicken between them and couldn’t look away. It was like being on the beach again, just before he’d kissed her. His blue eyes dark, his features taut, but not with pain now—with something her body instantly recognised. And wanted.

‘I think you’re trying to change the subject.’

‘Smart
and
quick.’

He stared at her. Lexi became aware that the only sound on the balcony was the beating of her own frantic heart. She couldn’t have moved even if she’d wanted to and he recognised her hesitation for what it was.

He shook his head slowly. ‘You don’t do casual sex.’ His voice was heavy, low, laden with sensual restraint.

Lexi swallowed. Kissing him had shaken her to her core. As had his revelations. He was right. She didn’t do casual sex. Or at least she never had before, but would indulging in it once be so wrong? She wasn’t deluding herself that sex with Leo would be more than that. But he made her feel things she’d never felt before. She couldn’t help wanting more of that. But could she risk her self-esteem on it?

She stared at him. He looked predatory. Hungry. For her?

Her nipples tingled and a hollow aching feeling made her lower body clench. With sudden alarm Lexi realised that her body was already readying itself to make love with him. Just the thought made the throbbing worse and her heart kicked up. It seemed, from her body’s point of view, she couldn’t
not
risk it. ‘You said the sex wouldn’t be casual.’ Was that breathless, seductive voice really hers?

He didn’t respond immediately and she was momentarily struck with the horrible sense that maybe he had been trying to let her down gently.

Like a helpless mouse that had backed itself into a corner, Lexi’s stomach pitched and then he held out his hand.

‘Come here.’

L
EXI
noted the way his chest moved in time with his deep even breaths and that the skin on his face seemed to be pulled tight. His eyes tracked over her with such sexual purpose there was no mistaking his intention and her arousal returned on a rush of liquid heat.

He wanted her and she wanted him and nothing else seemed to matter right now.

As if in a dream state, she moved towards him.

When she reached him he widened his legs and drew her closer between his thighs, his large hands light as they enveloped her waist.

Then he breathed deeply and rested his forehead on her chest.

Lexi could feel the warmth of his breath through the thin fabric of her dress and gave in to the urge to stroke her fingers through his short hair. The strands felt crisp and soft at the same time. Her fingers flexed and clung and she wondered if the hair on his chest would feel the same way.

He raised his head and her hands stilled at the intensity of the desire she could see banked behind his eyes.

‘Do you know how beautiful you are?’

No, but he made her
feel
beautiful. Lexi felt a shiver race through her whole body and she knew he felt it because his fingers tightened around her waist. And thank God they did because her bones melted and her legs nearly gave out.

Her hands moved of their own accord down the side of his face and cupped his square jaw, her fingertips scraping over the stubble on his face. ‘I imagined this would be hard,’ she murmured. ‘But it’s soft.’

She saw him take a deep breath. One of the hands at her waist rose to the nape of her neck as he gently guided her face down to his. ‘I want you,’ he said gruffly and another spasm of need weakened her knees even more and brought her closer to the heat of his big body.

She wanted him too. She couldn’t deny it. Couldn’t even remember why she should. Nothing seemed to matter except this man and this moment and then his lips finally touched hers and her brain closed down completely.

Leo’s mouth already knew the shape and texture of her sweet mouth but still, kissing her now, was like the first time and his groin jerked with pleasure as her mouth opened over his. He tried to be gentle, but he was already hard and aching with desire for her. His tongue circling inside her mouth as he tasted her. Hers following his lead and tasting him right back.

He smoothed his hands up over her naked back and then he wrapped them around her and stood up, taking her with him.